So what are you working on that’s NOT your DSM?

[Bigbeanbird]

I'm sad so sad and have no place to vent. All of my family and friends are getting old. They're needing rides and financial help. I'm still young enough to offer all of this but it really hurts. My life isn't what it used to be. I'm always able and willing to help (for the time being). But this is wearing me down. I hope my retirement isn't like theirs. I have so many years to go before I pull that card but I hope and prey that my life isn't so rough once I do. I need encouragement, thoughts and maybe even prayers through this stage of life (mine and theirs). One man can only carry so much baggage and I'm weighed down. I've become the "yes man", but every yes hurts more than the last.

I don’t like what I am seeing here.. lemme chime in as someone who is new to retirement.. it’s not allot of fun.. the only saviour is money, only because it can get you comfort whenever you need it. Im not talking about money for vacations and fast cars and chicks for free, although would be a plus, the reality is that the body gives out with age..
When that body gives out, along with it comes pain and pain is a hard ass thing to live with..!! I was knocked out of work @ 50 yrs old,( ruptured disc L3), pain pills started but that’s a whole other problem you gotta deal with.. I was born in 58 for reference and yeah, getting old SUCKS..!! No ifs ands or buts.. ya kinda learn to deal with it all but if you have expendable cash you can get things that make your suffering a little easier,( beds, braces, street drugs, etc)
And duder, you sound just like me as far as being the helper of all.. which is a good thing as far as I’m concerned and that, money can’t buy.. I still go out of my way to help those deserving of it and very rarely ask for money.. long story short, I quit my very first AC tech position because I couldn’t handle taking checks from regular people when I knew the boss,(owner’s) overhead and what he was pocketing.. I dunno. What I do know is, if your happy with helping all now, then you will stay that way the rest of your life..
You can’t help everyone so maybe pick and choose a little but hang in there man..!! Keep happy dude.. I’ve seen your posts and think you’re a pretty happy dude and you’ll be alright being an old coot.. money or not..!! My 2 cents

 

[SixBolt_16G]

I'm sad so sad and have no place to vent. All of my family and friends are getting old. They're needing rides and financial help. I'm still young enough to offer all of this but it really hurts. My life isn't what it used to be. I'm always able and willing to help (for the time being). But this is wearing me down. I hope my retirement isn't like theirs. I have so many years to go before I pull that card but I hope and prey that my life isn't so rough once I do. I need encouragement, thoughts and maybe even prayers through this stage of life (mine and theirs). One man can only carry so much baggage and I'm weighed down. I've become the "yes man", but every yes hurts more than the last.

Thats tough. Such is the life of a man and i sympathize with your position.

Growing up, i had a lot of friends. I mean.. a lot.. Like 100+ people that id talk to on a constant basis and like another 100 that were acquaintances id see frequently through other friends. Needless to say, Ive grown up around a lot of addicts and people who just continously make bad decisions, whether its drugs, gambling, women or alcohol which threw me into feeling that I had to constantly babysit people from my early teens til almost 30. Someone always needed help. After a close friend almost died in an accident, i got it in my head that it was up to me to be responsible for everyone because I couldve prevented it that night. The best advice came from my wife when we got together. 1. You cant save the world. 2. The world, nor peoples world usually wont end just because you dont help with that one thing that they are asking you to do.. When she was going through agriculture school, she was telling me that its really hard to kill plants because they naturally want to live and will go to extraodinary lengths to do so. I started adapting that to people. What i learned is that if Im not everyones primary solution, they will find another way to be alright. If I dont let people figure it out how to find help for themselves, they never will.

For me, I had to start paying attention to the 'yeses' that I put out there because i was getting pulled in too many directions. Aging mother, brother that refused to be healthy, sister's family in financial trouble, wife with PTSD from a bad childhood and high levels of anxiety. Thats what i focus on. Everyone else has to take a backseat and I help where i can to maintain friendships. Others, as much as i love everyone, have to figure something out for themselves and I cant be Jesus for everyone out there. Its not that you have to say 'no',.... for myself, i always have 2 excuses loaded in the chamber everyday as to why im not available now or on a certain day. I dont have to say 'no' because as far as they know, my time is always filled. Which most of it is, I have to schedule in the 'me' time or it wont happen. People will realize there is other options, youre become the first go to because its easiest to get you to say yes.. My mom is in her 80's and always tries to volunteer me for jobs among her friends because she feels that everyone should help everyone. In her head, i know how to fix cars and I know 'computers', however in reality, i know how to fix 'my' car and knowing computers is because I was previously a computer animator so i 'use' a computer. But you now what I noticed? When I wasnt available. People did in fact, find other ways. Shes never told me that someone has suffered emensly because i didnt help them in that moment.

There are no correct solutions of course, and thats not what im trying to preach to you. Either youll find a way or theyll find a way. But i can tell you that if let the inner anger build, youll become useless to the people around you because youll either make yourself sick and become one of the people who now needs help or youll start burning down relationships around you. Also, if you dont listen to your body about whats making you unhappy, one day it will force you to listen to it. You want to avoid getting to that point. Allow your people to find other people or other avenues to help. Focus on those who absolutely cant do without you. My wife and I dont have kids and their isnt a whole lot of kids in our families. We understand how important good health is because we are on our own. So eating right, limiting vices and staying active are essential and are most important. All of the older people in my family were able to stay self sufficient, take care of themselves until they died in their 90s and we're gonna have to be the same way.

One of the reason that i love going to cars and coffee and other car meets is because it puts me around people who dont need anything from me and thats an important thing to have. My only obligation there is to just be cool. I see people there maybe once every week or 2. They only know what I want them to know about me. They only know me as having fun while we're their. No one has reason to ask me for anything. Really helps to keep me in a good mental state hanging out with the "youngins" there. Some of them still havent realized that im old enough to be their dad. Be sure to take out some time for yourself or youre going to toast yourself mentally.

 

[BLACK'98DSM]

Sad part is... I'm not even old enough to be anyone's grandfather (or I wouldn't suppose so)... But I play that role constantly. Wisdom was given to me, and apparently not to others around me. So I share things that older heads are supposed to. Between my mom having cancer and the rest of my family having it too, I'm constantly tied up with with that. And that along with my friends suffering from the same decisions that I made at a younger age, it never ends. I'm always helping. Which is theoretically great, but not in the sense that I apparently pursue. I do have an alcohol problem now. I thought I liked drinking at 20, but now it's essential for sleep and a clear mind. One day it'll all settle down, but I'm afraid many losses will occur by then. I just feel way too young and am definitely too young at heart to go through this. Even thoughts and facts of inheritance and future gratification can't save my mental state. I've been too broken by past losses to even count on all that. I value lives more than anything, and sometimes that hurts too much unfortunately.

Some know my age, at least approximately. I was born far after '58, and even after '88. So living in the state that I am now is what's so painful.

I guess a combination of anxiety and alcohol consumption is what holds my neck. Paired with sleep apnea, sleep paralysis and PTSD makes nothing seem good. Sometimes I lack a wonder of why I sold every DSM, or why I had no tears to the passing of my grandparents in 2011.

Either way, enough about myself or my tribulations. The thread should return to lighthearted projects like we've kept it to until I spilled out.

 

[Bigbeanbird]

Thats tough. Such is the life of a man and i sympathize with your position.

Growing up, i had a lot of friends. I mean.. a lot.. Like 100+ people that id talk to on a constant basis and like another 100 that were acquaintances id see frequently through other friends. Needless to say, Ive grown up around a lot of addicts and people who just continously make bad decisions, whether its drugs, gambling, women or alcohol which threw me into feeling that I had to constantly babysit people from my early teens til almost 30. Someone always needed help. After a close friend almost died in an accident, i got it in my head that it was up to me to be responsible for everyone because I couldve prevented it that night. The best advice came from my wife when we got together. 1. You cant save the world. 2. The world, nor peoples world dont will end just because you dont help with that one thing that they are asking you to do.. When she was going through agriculture school, she was telling me that its really hard to kill plants because they naturally want to live and will go to extraodinary lengths to do so. I started adapting that to people. So basically, what i learned is that if Im not everyones primary solution, they will find another way to be alright. But If I dont let people figure it out how to find help for themselves, they never will.

For me, I had to start paying attention to the 'yeses' that I put out there because i was getting pulled in too many directions. Aging mother, brother that refused to be healthy, sister s family in financial trouble. Wife with PTSD from a bad childhood and high levels of anxiety. Thats what i focus on. Everyone else has to take a backseat and I help where i can to maintain friendships. Others, as much as i love everyone, have to figure something out for themselves. Its not that you have to say 'no',.... for myself, i always have 2 excuses loaded in the chamber everyday as to why im not available now or on a certain day. I dont have to say no because as far as they know, my time is filled. People will find other ways. My mom is in her 80's and always tries to volunteer me for jobs among her friends because she feels that everyone should help everyone. In her head, i know how to fix cars and I know 'computers', however in reality, i know how to fix 'my' car and knowing computers is because I was previously a computer animator so i 'use' a computer. But you now what I noticed? When I wasnt available. People did in fact, find other ways. Shes never told me that someone has suffered emensly because i didnt help them in that moment.

There are no correct solutions of course, and thats not what im trying to preach to you. Either youll find a way or theyll find a way. But i can tell you that if let the inner anger build, youll become useless to the people around you because youll either make yourself sick and become one of the people who now needs help or youll start burning down relationships around you. Also, if you dont listen to your body about whats making you unhappy, one day it will force you to listen to it. You want to avoid getting to that point. Allow your people to find other people or other avenues to help. Focus on those who absolutely cant do without you. My wife and I dont have kids and their isnt a whole lot of kids in our families. We understand how important good health is because we are on our own. So eating right, limiting vices and staying active are essential and are most important. All of the older people in my family were able to stay self sufficient, take care of themselves until they died in their 90s and we're gonna have to be the same way.

One of the reason that i love going to cars and coffee and other car meets is because it puts me around people who dont need anything from me and thats an important thing to have. My only obligation there is to just be cool. I see people there maybe once every week or 2. They only know what I want them to know about me. They only know me as having fun while we're their. No one has reason to ask me for anything. Really helps to keep me in a good mental state hanging out with the "youngins" there. Some of them still havent realized that im old enough to be their dad. Be sure to take out some time for yourself or youre going to toast yourself mentally.

Well said

Sad part is... I'm not even old enough to be anyone's grandfather (or I wouldn't suppose so)... But I play that role constantly. Wisdom was given to me, and apparently not to others around me. So I share things that older heads are supposed to. Between my mom having cancer and the rest of my family having it too, I'm constantly tied up with with that. And that along with my friends suffering from the same decisions that I made at a younger age, it never ends. I'm always helping. Which is theoretically great, but not in the sense that I apparently pursue. I do have an alcohol problem now. I thought I liked drinking at 20, but now it's essential for sleep and a clear mind. One day it'll all settle down, but I'm afraid many losses will occur by then. I just feel way too young and am definitely too young at heart to go through this. Even thoughts and facts of inheritance and future gratification can't save my mental state. I've been too broken by past losses to even count on all that. I value lives more than anything, and sometimes that hurts too much unfortunately.

Some know my age, at least approximately. I was born far after '58, and even after '88. So living in the state that I am now is what's so painful.

I guess a combination of anxiety and alcohol consumption is what holds my neck. Paired with sleep apnea, sleep paralysis and PTSD makes nothing seem good. Sometimes I lack a wonder of why I sold every DSM, or why I had no tears to the passing of my grandparents in 2011.

Either way, enough about myself or my tribulations. The thread should return to lighthearted projects like we've kept it to until I spilled out.

It took me along time to realize that life is death, period.. don’t have parents left, nor grandparents, have lost one of six brothers when he was just 30 and that hurt pretty bad because he was my mentor, but after all is said and done I still wake up and nothing has changed.. and everyone has a vice so don’t beat yourself up.. trust me, I’ve had the years to go through a few of them and I live on, sometimes don’t know how but I do.. life is way too short to be unhappy so do what you have to do so your happy.. maybe a tattoo, or a new wife, or a new car.. might sound creepy but it’s easier when the older folks are gone and you are the older folks.. anyhow, be happy if you can and dump anytime, some people will listen..

 

[Mitsubi-doo]

That pool does not look very skateboarder friendly.

That brings me back, haven't don't that in a long time! Lol

 

[Ludachris]

Sad part is... I'm not even old enough to be anyone's grandfather (or I wouldn't suppose so)... But I play that role constantly. Wisdom was given to me, and apparently not to others around me. So I share things that older heads are supposed to. Between my mom having cancer and the rest of my family having it too, I'm constantly tied up with with that. And that along with my friends suffering from the same decisions that I made at a younger age, it never ends. I'm always helping. Which is theoretically great, but not in the sense that I apparently pursue. I do have an alcohol problem now. I thought I liked drinking at 20, but now it's essential for sleep and a clear mind. One day it'll all settle down, but I'm afraid many losses will occur by then. I just feel way too young and am definitely too young at heart to go through this. Even thoughts and facts of inheritance and future gratification can't save my mental state. I've been too broken by past losses to even count on all that. I value lives more than anything, and sometimes that hurts too much unfortunately.

Some know my age, at least approximately. I was born far after '58, and even after '88. So living in the state that I am now is what's so painful.

I guess a combination of anxiety and alcohol consumption is what holds my neck. Paired with sleep apnea, sleep paralysis and PTSD makes nothing seem good. Sometimes I lack a wonder of why I sold every DSM, or why I had no tears to the passing of my grandparents in 2011.

Either way, enough about myself or my tribulations. The thread should return to lighthearted projects like we've kept it to until I spilled out.

Many of us go through struggles, even when to others, it looks like we're fine - or in their eyes we should be fine because our circumstances look fine to them. This happens a lot more as we age. I'm about to hit 50, and I can tell you, I've been battling some vicious mental demons lately. They've been there for decades, but they've been pretty insidious and powerful in recent years. Maybe we should start a mental health community support thread to discuss our issues more openly. I'd prefer to make it so only members could view it, but at the moment, that would require I create a new subforum and require that it be private to only members. I'm happy to do that if you guys want it.

*** Edit *** here you go, a members-only private Hangout:

Members Only Hangout

Only logged-in members can view threads in this forum. Post topics in here you only want to share with members, not the rest of the world.

www.dsmtuners.com

 

[Tkuhn89]

Been cleaning up the 1st gen to sell but kinda want to keep it now.

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

 

[jmt2028]

I am very much considering getting a RHD jdm Mazda rx7 with the 13b 2 rotor engine. Something about them just makes me drool. Either that or a 1992 era Nissan Skyline.

 

[CrackedDSM]

I am very much considering getting a RHD jdm Mazda rx7 with the 13b 2 rotor engine. Something about them just makes me drool. Either that or a 1992 era Nissan Skyline.

I’ve been watching a lot of RadPotential on YouTube who is a big rotary guy, and honestly I wouldn’t mind either an FC with the 13b swap from an FD or an RX-8 with a hybrid renesis/13b turbo.

Just gotta be ready to rebuild the engine often. They don’t last as long as a piston engine.

 

[jmt2028]

Yeah I feel that. I watch Rob Dahm a lot on youtube, he is a self taught rotary specialist. Nothing quite like the sound of a bridge ported 13b. He built a 4 rotor engine and did a little race against the Hoonicorn. Nothing can touch the Hoonicorn .

 

[Canadian_CD9A]

Finally out of the garage under its own power - drove it to the muffler shop on an open header with 100 other issues. But it got there!

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

 

[Stapl3]

Posted this yesterday in the wrong thread, my bad if this is a repeat.

Put lowering springs on the grand am, I may make a spacer similar to truck leveling kits to raise the front a hair. It's a super fine balance of trying to make it look stock and not modified.

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

The c7 calipers came in and they are comically huge. I'm 99.9% confident they will bolt to the grand am hub, my only dice roll here is the orientation of the rotor in/out. I decided that since the c7 caliper is married to the rotor that was my best shot at it working out. It's all dependent on the grand am hub I guess. Only way to know is buy the parts and try it out. Hope the GM parts bin and GM gods are with me on this one.

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

 

[Ludachris]

I will be changing out axles (bad cv joints) and draining the auto trans fluid in my daughter's Corolla while she's on a school trip the next couple weeks... the shifts started getting pretty clunky recently. I did one fluid change already but need to do another, probably change the filter too. HOPEFULLY that helps it.

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

Had fun yesterday on Father's Day doing dad things. Drained the ATF for a second time, dropped the pan and changed the transmission fluid filter, changed both axles, and replaced the sway bar end links. I forgot how fun it is to squirm underneath a car on jack stands trying to pry and hammer axles out, getting brake dust in your face as you do it. I still need to go for a test drive. Was drenched in sweat and dehydrated, wanted to be done.

 

[Dericsh]

Had fun yesterday on Father's Day doing dad things. Drained the ATF for a second time, dropped the pan and changed the transmission fluid filter, changed both axles, and replaced the sway bar end links. I forgot how fun it is to squirm underneath a car on jack stands trying to pry and hammer axles out, getting brake dust in your face as you do it. I still need to go for a test drive. Was drenched in sweat and dehydrated, wanted to be done.

Every time I do that I mumble about how I’m getting too old for this. I was embarrassingly sore for a couple days last time I was trying to hammer a stuck axle out of a hub, of course right next to the garage wall with no room to really swing!

 

[jmt2028]

I rebuilt most of my engine and replace all of my suspension this way, on jack stands on a concrete pad in the back yard. A frustrating experience some days to say the least. I enjoyed majority of the process but I don't think I would do it again for a little while.

 

[Ludachris]

Every time I do that I mumble about how I’m getting too old for this. I was embarrassingly sore for a couple days last time I was trying to hammer a stuck axle out of a hub, of course right next to the garage wall with no room to really swing!

Neck muscles, abs, forearms, all sore. Damn I'm old.

 

[steve]

Neck muscles, abs, forearms, all sore. Damn I'm old.

I hear you. I broke down and cheated. After waiting and having the darn things go from $800 to $1500 I finally bought some QuickJacks to make it easier.

First time setup was almost as bad as putting it up on jack stands but once positioned and on the lifting blocks it's a piece of cake and there is almost two feet of clearance all the way up. Downside is you can't roll in from the sides only front or back. The jacks low stop is still high enough for changing oil but too low to work in a wheel well on a roller chair without hunching over. All the way up puts the brakes in your lap. I'm sure the next time will be much easier, I put rollers and some friction tape on the bottom to make moving them faster and less likely to scratch off all the powdercoat.

Too bad it doesn't come with air conditioning, I think I lost a few quarts of coolant getting the bumper off.

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

 

[Ludachris]

I'll have some sort of lift someday. I came close to doing the QuickJacks when they had them at Costco. Probably should have pulled the trigger when I could. A swamp cooler would be really nice too. I sweat way too much on cool days.

 

[CrackedDSM]

I'll have some sort of lift someday. I came close to doing the QuickJacks when they had them at Costco. Probably should have pulled the trigger when I could. A swamp cooler would be really nice too. I sweat way too much on cool days.

*Working on the ground in Florida humid summer without quickjacks or garage related hatred intensifies*

 

[Bigbeanbird]

Many of us go through struggles, even when to others, it looks like we're fine - or in their eyes we should be fine because our circumstances look fine to them. This happens a lot more as we age. I'm about to hit 50, and I can tell you, I've been battling some vicious mental demons lately. They've been there for decades, but they've been pretty insidious and powerful in recent years. Maybe we should start a mental health community support thread to discuss our issues more openly. I'd prefer to make it so only members could view it, but at the moment, that would require I create a new subforum and require that it be private to only members. I'm happy to do that if you guys want it.

*** Edit *** here you go, a members-only private Hangout:

Members Only Hangout

Only logged-in members can view threads in this forum. Post topics in here you only want to share with members, not the rest of the world.

www.dsmtuners.com

I’m 66 going on 50.. still feel pretty good for an old coot! Mow the front and back yards every week, walk both black labs every day and try my best to ride my bike once in awhile.. just sold my Paraglider

I'll have some sort of lift someday. I came close to doing the QuickJacks when they had them at Costco. Probably should have pulled the trigger when I could. A swamp cooler would be really nice too. I sweat way too much on cool days.

, a lift , right now I’d be happy with a lowboy jack.

Man, there only thing about swamp coolers is they put more humidity into the air, more sticky

*Working on the ground in Florida humid summer without quickjacks or garage related hatred intensifies*

Yuck man, never been to Florida, (thank God) but wifey lived there for awhile and said it’s pretty bad. I’m in so cal so it’s dry most of the time, but it can get really fricken hot, leave a tool in the sun by mistake and it’s an easy first degree burn.

Neck muscles, abs, forearms, all sore. Damn I'm old.

…. Me too

I rebuilt most of my engine and replace all of my suspension this way, on jack stands on a concrete pad in the back yard. A frustrating experience some days to say the least. I enjoyed majority of the process but I don't think I would do it again for a little while.

Heck yeah, some nice Jack stands and concrete with no cracks is cool with me.. maybe some big lumber if ya need more height

 

[jmt2028]

I'll have some sort of lift someday. I came close to doing the QuickJacks when they had them at Costco. Probably should have pulled the trigger when I could. A swamp cooler would be really nice too. I sweat way too much on cool days.

You don't here the word swamp cooler very often, I bet there are people on the forum who don't even know what that is

Heck yeah, some nice Jack stands and concrete with no cracks is cool with me.. maybe some big lumber if ya need more height

Amen we do what we have to do.

Some of the people with the most ingenuity and dedication are backyard car guys and potheads.

 

[SixBolt_16G]

Large cardboard boxes for the win when getting under the cars! I gotta update my jackstands. I'm quite sure they are ones that probably got recalled a long time ago for safety concerns and these rhino ramps. I jack the car up and stick them under there because I tried driving the car up once and that almost ended in disaster when one side slipped. I need to stop gambling with safety.

Some of the people with the most ingenuity and dedication are backyard car guys and potheads

It's the lazy that come up with the best shit and help the world progress because "they ain't doin' and don't have time for all that shit". The amount of tools I invented on the fly while doing mobile dent repair was because I was too lazy to go find what car I left the appropriate tool in. We ended up making real tools in the shape of the bends to get around bracing for everyone else to use.

Did a whole hail job on a Kia Rio with a ball point pen and a wire hanger once.

 

[jmt2028]

Haha that's ingenuity at its finest! I've learned in my 36 years of life that nothing is, no amount of money, no moment of laziness or what would seem like time efficiency or less work, is worth my safety and personal well being. I quite like all my fingers and toes and my eyes and ears.

Also, I want to see my children grow old!

 

[steve]

Also, I want to see my children grow old!

And the grandkids.

 

[CrackedDSM]

Yuck man, never been to Florida, (thank God) but wifey lived there for awhile and said it’s pretty bad. I’m in so cal so it’s dry most of the time, but it can get really fricken hot, leave a tool in the sun by mistake and it’s an easy first degree burn.

It's that way here now too, except imagine 95% humidity to go along with 100-108* temps. Last summer it was consistent 106-108* along with minimum 85-88% humidity. It used to only get in the low-mid 90's on the hottest days here until they started tearing down all the trees and grass for mass asphalt/subdivisions. It suuuuuuucks. Even with A/C I don't know if I wanna even drive my Talon when it gets that hot.


Enough of the bellyachin' though. A garage is in my future eventually, I'm gonna make that shit happen. Even if I have to make a ghetto garage out of my car port by hanging up some particle board to close it off and throwing in a window unit.