Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[Blk93tsi]

420 turbo right?
Yeah, bout 6psi
Cool can i see your set up?
Sure
Opens hood... "He has a turbo air cleaner pos"
Bet that runs good?
Yeah, you can feel the boost kick in, and i make 230whp on 6psi
Right on...

And i just walked away... Like really?

Lol

 

[fastgsx99]

a buddy of mine had the hood on his gst up one night and this honda owner decides to make a comment... "wow...look at those cams.... their the size of my wheels.."
my buddy is like umm...." their actually stock"... the look on the dudes face was priceless.

im trying to get my tech posts up and i thought i was in a totally different subject untill i posted it an d was like oh shit.... ive had this account for a while but never posted anything. but ive bean reading some funny stuff on here.

420 turbo right?
Yeah, bout 6psi
Cool can i see your set up?
Sure
Opens hood... "He has a turbo air cleaner pos"
Bet that runs good?
Yeah, you can feel the boost kick in, and i make 230whp on 6psi
Right on...

And i just walked away... Like really?

Lol

hahaha... i cant stop laughing..

Okay, just tested my girl and asked her what DSM stands for.

To which she replied: Driver Slash Mechanic.

Think I found a keeper?

haha..

 

[1990AWD]

You should totally take a picture of that.

Here.

 

[buhay6]

I stop at wal mart and look for a parking spot, see this mint 2g! so I of course parked beside it (was in my Kizashi) went in bought some shit then went back to my car. bumped in to the guy that owned the talon.

Me: dude thats a gorgeous 2g.
Him: uumm this is a 97 talon tsi!
Me: Ya that's what I mean by 2g it means second generation.
Him: ooooh ya thanx owned it for 5 years
Me: you obviously take great car of it, nice to see people appreciate these cars still.
Him: love these cars, you know they pump out 300hp stock right?
Me:WTF *i just shake my head* any mods?
Him: nah all stock
Me: so you got just the stock 7 bolt 4g63 and a stock turbo set up?
him: yup
Me: you know they only pump out around 210hp stock right? not 300hp.
Him: do your research you don't know anything about talons, you must be some eclipse guy or something.
Me: know a lot more then you do buddy!! *laugh get in my car and drive away*

Dont know why I didn't save the audio and vid from the go pro totally should have posted that shit!

 

[LandoAWD]

a buddy of mine had the hood on his gst up one night and this honda owner decides to make a comment... "wow...look at those cams.... their the size of my wheels.."

Did he have his valve cover off as well, orrr...

 

[fastgsx99]

some funny stuff on here.

I keep checking on this conversation to laugh. very entertaining.

 

[necrotopsy]

i had the owner of a 2g TSi AWD say "i'll race you slips!" to me (and he was serious) in my current avenger, when i already knew was running the FP Big 28 turbo among other mods. not to mention a stock 2g awd would still win against me.

-facepalm-

i thought that was pretty stupid.

 

[jaycemocapaldi]

I had a guy in a non turbo laser, park next to me at walmart today and when I walk out to him taking pictures and telling some kid that my car is his... I ask him what mods are done to my car. His reply was big turbo and cams, I started asking him what turbo as I start the car. And he keeps telling me a fake turbo and doesn't even realise that I remote started the car.. Then I start getting into the Talon and he tells me he was talking about his laser. When I ask him about his intercooler he says its under the car... Then I tell him its non turbo and two stepped him on the way out haha he's why we all have a bad name..

 

[Achelea]

I had this happen not a few hours ago.

A bit of a back story tho. There is a guy that comes in to detail cars and some of the planes, and he has a 98 Eclipse (RS or GS). Pretty clean for the most part. Straight body. Just has 300k, and he hit a deer. So right now it has a slightly dented hood, busted headlight, and needs a fuel pump. My coworker got him to sell it to me for 375 dollars, and I've already put 200 down.

He comes in today and I start asking other questions and he says.

Him"This is the car, the one everyone looks for to tune up."
Me "Er, no, that has the Chrystler 420A motor.."
Him "It does Not have no Chrystler motor..."
Me "Those cars came in four trim levels, and 3 of them had a Mitsubishi motor. The top of the line was like mine, tur-"
Him "No, it doesn't, that's a different car completely. THIS is the Ultimate car to tune up. Cold Air Intake, Exhaust, Body kits."
". . ." I shook my head and continued to safety wire the prop on the plane.

I really should learn not to argue with the guy I'm buying the car from.

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

I'm saving it.

 

[buhay6]

you are saving it! It looks good, that damage will buff out
Hopefully I'll get my new job driving cat loaders so I can afford to restore my 1G and buy a 2G. hoping against hope, $5G's every 2 weeks!

 

[knochgoon24]

300k? And I thought my car had a lot of miles.

 

[spadepro22]

yea dsm's are fast, but they dont make alot of performance parts for them.WTF

 

[2slow4now]

I stop at wal mart and look for a parking spot, see this mint 2g! so I of course parked beside it (was in my Kizashi) went in bought some shit then went back to my car. bumped in to the guy that owned the talon.

Me: dude thats a gorgeous 2g.
Him: uumm this is a 97 talon tsi!
Me: Ya that's what I mean by 2g it means second generation.
Him: ooooh ya thanx owned it for 5 years
Me: you obviously take great car of it, nice to see people appreciate these cars still.
Him: love these cars, you know they pump out 300hp stock right?
Me:WTF *i just shake my head* any mods?
Him: nah all stock
Me: so you got just the stock 7 bolt 4g63 and a stock turbo set up?
him: yup
Me: you know they only pump out around 210hp stock right? not 300hp.
Him: do your research you don't know anything about talons, you must be some eclipse guy or something.
Me: know a lot more then you do buddy!! *laugh get in my car and drive away*

Dont know why I didn't save the audio and vid from the go pro totally should have posted that shit!

Yeah thats why I bought a talon! But I thought the 2ga with the small wing was more aerodynamic and thats why its more powerful than eclipse's! That must be why his has 300hp to make up for not having the small wing like mine!

I bet every time he talks to someone about his car it gains HP! Oh yeah was it actually even a Tsi?

 

[WES_393]

Not really DSMer's, but still "car enthusiast".

A girl at my school was given an Eclipse as a B-day present. After listening to her brag for a few minutes I asked "Is it a GST/GSX?" She replied " Uh, no its an Eclipse." WTF

When pulling up to a rave in my Spyder, a kid in a 3g Spyder rolled up.
Me: Hey man, is that a GT?
Him: No man, GTS. Stock turbo.
Me: Oh yeah? You sure thats not variable valve timing?
Him: Nah man, 16g turbo. Starts pulling at 4k.
Me: Whatever man, nice car.

When looking for a GSX I stumbled across a purple one for a decent price. The guy said it needed a tune up and some paint. No biggie. I get there and...
Me: Uh, this isn't the car in the pics.
Him: It's close enough.
Me: It doesn't even have an interior!
Him: Yeah it does, it's in the garage.
Me: Well I sure hope you have an engine in that garage too.
Him: Why, what's wrong with this one?
*I point to a rod sticking out of the block*
Him: Oh it's fine man, it still runs. I'll even drop the price from 4500 to 4 grand since I don't have the title.
Me: Have a nice day.

Not to mention the hundreds of people (including DSMer's) who either:
A: Tell me how much better the Evo is than my DSM because of it's amazing engine.
B: Tell me I should swap an Evo engine into my DSM.
C: Say something about how my NT Spyder is lame because it has a 420a.

 

[lukehx]

i have a story you guys might like. my brother just picked up his 91 tsi auto and he decided to take it to a shop for the exhaust and brakes. anyways the car was in the shop for over 2 weeks for some reason . it was a tuesday and i just got off a veryyy hectic 14 hour shift and i see on my phone i have multiple missed calls and it was my brother. i called him back and he was really mad but he wouldn't tell me why. as soon as i get home hes waiting in the talon and says come for a ride. he said the mechanic he got it from didn't speak good english and told him "your car go put put". so here i go feeling like a zombie for a ride and as soon as he stomps it the car starts bucking all over the place and he's getting more pissed. so i tell him go home right now and pop the hood. so i get out of the car open the hood pull out my mini maglite and screwdriver and get back in the car and tell him to go for a drive, so he does and he stomps it and its smooth as could be. he looks at me and just starts laughing. i told him "you know hose clamps do a better job when they're tight hahahaha and i checked the exhaust and they somehow reused the the exhaust gasket and welded a cracked flexpipe on his car for only 800 dollars. when i told him from the get go to do it himself i reminded him after that and he just called me a smartass hahaha

 

[1990eagletalon]

EPIC FAIL!!!!! A ricer with a honda civic pulled up to me at a stop light that was riced da #### out!!! wing, body kit, paint job, so low it scraps every little thing on the ground, fart can, cold air intake, big V-TEC decal sticker on back window big JDM decal sticker on the hood, decal stickers all over the ####in car. This stupid #### saids why the #### would u ever wanna own a dsm? you know they stand for Dick Suckin Motor right(dsm). i just laughted at him and asked him if all his sticker decals give him any extra hp he said yeah 5 more hp per sticker( i really hope he wasnt being serious). he revs up his engine to the max rpm for like 15secs waiting for the light to turn green. and then when it turned green he launched burns out then boom! blown head gasket and on top of that his car bottom out while he did this and ripped his fart can muffler off. hahahahahahahahahahahaa!!!! ####ing priceless. i stopped next to him and said who has the Dick Suckin Motor now??? p.s JDM= junk da motor =P <<< EPIC WIN will never forget that day. made me laugh for weeks

 

[Achelea]

EPIC FAIL!!!!! A ricer with a honda civic pulled up to me at a stop light that was riced da #### out!!! wing, body kit, paint job, so low it scraps every little thing on the ground, fart can, cold air intake, big V-TEC decal sticker on back window big JDM decal sticker on the hood, decal stickers all over the ####in car. This stupid #### saids why the #### would u ever wanna own a dsm? you know they stand for Dick Suckin Motor right(dsm). i just laughted at him and asked him if all his sticker decals give him any extra hp he said yeah 5 more hp per sticker( i really hope he wasnt being serious). he revs up his engine to the max rpm for like 15secs waiting for the light to turn green. and then when it turned green he launched burns out then boom! blown head gasket and on top of that his car bottom out while he did this and ripped his fart can muffler off. hahahahahahahahahahahaa!!!! ####ing priceless. i stopped next to him and said who has the Dick Suckin Motor now??? p.s JDM= junk da motor =P <<< EPIC WIN will never forget that day. made me laugh for weeks

Hey boss, edit your posts. Ricer is considered a slur here.

And a bit of an update: That white eclipse up there? Turns out the fuel pump is fine. It might have jumped timing. >.< And in telling some people in a channel I frequent, I spent an hour trying to explain that even though I got lied too, I still came out ahead.

 

[BurrowZ]

I had a Miata pull up next to me at O'Reillys when I just pulled in to get some bulbs. He didn't even need anything there he just stalked me. He starts asking me about my car and after a minute the conversation is as follows:

Him: "Yeah, I used to be a big DSM geek like you. Still got the 13g turbo on it?"
Me: "No, it's got a 16g. And stock was a T25"
Him: "Yeah but if you did your research you'd know that since you're an automatic you have a stock 13g."
Me: "TRUST me, it was a T25. You are thinking of the 1g autos."
Him: "Well that means it was a manual that someone converted to auto or someone swapped the turbo cause I know that FOR A FACT it came with a 13g stock."
Me: "Look, no, it didn't. You can argue what you want. It was bone stock when I got it."

He never gave that up, but I changed the subject and he goes:

Him: "All that money you should have gotten a FWD. They make more power to the wheels and are faster. Since you're an auto you can't even use what your AWD is best for.. launching!!"
Me: "I prefer AWD." (didn't argue with him. It's clear he's a moron)
Him: "You know even after everything it's still an automatic Eclipse."

That annoyed the crap out of me, but I'm a pretty polite and nice guy. I didn't say what I wanted to. Hoping he'll be at the track in springtime.

 

[Kyle93]

someone with a Saturn something that only makes 85hp but has a "cold air intake", side exhaust and somehow he needs a stage 2 racing clutch for 85hp? Heres some of the stuff he has

"deleting abs gives you 30hp"
"automatic is ### and is so slow"
"awd is worse for launching cause you cant spin the tires"

Imagine having to hear that...

 

[turboglenn]

walking out of O'reilly's one day and see a NICE clean GS/RS (can'te tell) but it had 3000gt brake upgrade and a nice set of rims as well as a rather clean lookin interior (no tint) Has a FMIC on it.

note: i'm in the ol 89 rusted ford bronco getting oil to put my car back together form some fluid/ belt swaps i decided to do one day

Me: is that a GS-T or GS-X, i love the brake upgrade, I would love to have calipers and rotors that size

Him: It's the turbo, see that bubble in the hood, that's because it wouldn't close with the turbo there so they had to make the hood special to fit the turbo models

Me: really? didn't know that, thought tey all had the bubble on em.

Him: Nope, just the turbos, but a lot of people put turbo hoods on theirs to make em look cool

Me: Yea, I got one at home i'm taking this oil to right now

Him: Oh, did you crankwalk? i had it happen while racing a guy the toher night and it cost me the race

Me: really, damn that's not a cheap fix, and you're still driving it

Him: mutters on about whatever he was told

*** we stop talking or i stop listening and we go to look at his car**

some one spent more moeny in -6 and -8 hose and fitings than this things worth total

it was a 420 n/t everything was done in real -6 and -8 had tons of extra case vent lines and a braided line for anything that had a hose on it at one point, all vacum lines wre swapped to -3 and -4 lines and all, but no turbo, just a CAI running from the FMIC which had a filter on one side of it

kid tells me he just bought it, i tell him i work on cars on the side if he needs to know anything or needs some work and proceed to see that some one in some point of time probably had turbo'd this car, spent money on tons of add on useless items like SS braided EVERYTHING, god i still want his brakes but the underside of the car looks like it was dropped from a helicopter onto a highway divider i mean i can't see how the body panels were even straight there was so much damage the seats didn't sit right (he pointed out they wre mountted crooked, were sparco's from another car not sure what they were out of)

there was evidence of some one making it really nice at one point but he then told me he paid just at 10k dollars for it and when he started it it blew so much oil there wasn't a mesquito for miles that didn't die.. i think the orignal owner blew the engine, pulled the turbo kit and left the front mount and sold it to this poor kid as a turbo car as the kid really thought it was a turbo car... seen him once since, had to break it to him that day that the turbo was gone adn that the hoods were all alike.. this was all crap the seller had told him, hehad no clue, poor guy

 

[ChrisTheBuilder]

I was out last Friday night cruising the strip with my girlfriend. beating up on some mustangs and civics when i see this redneck i a diesel coming in hot, i was like and got into it a little bit just enough to hold him off.

We come up to a red light, he rolls down his window and in hick accent with a dip in his mouth says "you know what the sad thing is, this fuel tank in the back of my truck weighs more than your whole car".

I wanted to say "you know whats even more sad, i was barely even in it" but i just rolled up my window. The girl riding with him looked pretty embarrassed that he opened his mouth.

 

[Fotowntalon]

Good street racing story bro!

 

[LandoAWD]

Based on his mods, I'd worry about MANY modded diesel trucks walking that thing down.

 

[GsxEcutioner]

I was out last Friday night cruising the strip with my girlfriend. beating up on some mustangs and civics when i see this redneck i a diesel coming in hot, i was like and got into it a little bit just enough to hold him off.

We come up to a red light, he rolls down his window and in hick accent with a dip in his mouth says "you know what the sad thing is, this fuel tank in the back of my truck weighs more than your whole car".

I wanted to say "you know whats even more sad, i was barely even in it" but i just rolled up my window. The girl riding with him looked pretty embarrassed that he opened his mouth.

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

 

[Bud92gsx]

I read a post the other day about a guy with a n/t claiming his engine was bored to a 2.1 with 170+ hp..

Here.

What I would pay to have someone take the vin out of a non usdm dsm and send it to me..One that is going to the crusher of course..