Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[CrackedDSM]

Friend of mine has a built 420a Talon ready to turbo. He has everything he needs except a custom downpipe, and a fuel cut defender. Posted a picture on his facebook of the turbo he's putting on his 1G DSM in the engine bay of his 420a Talon and said "should I"?


Well, in the discussion of picture he mentioned he only needed a fuel cut defender and a custom down-pipe. Someone then piped in and posted this.

"Fuel cut is ## friend. If ## getting fuel cut, something is wrong.."


The best part about this, is this dude's never owned a car faster than 15 secs in the 1/4mi, and he's one of those people that like to go "well I'm gonna do this and this to my car and it'll just rape yours!" and pretends to know everything there is to know about DSM's and turbo cars in general when he's never even free-modded one.

Made my night.



If you don't know why this is funny, you shouldn't be anywhere near DSM's.

 

[Fotowntalon]

I read a post the other day about a guy with a n/t claiming his engine was bored to a 2.1 with 170+ hp..

Wait what?

 

[Bud92gsx]

Wait what?

Not kidding...Really not..I laughed so hard when I read it myself..

 

[newtodsm97gst]

He was probably looking for something he could recognize, and saw the filter on the pipe and thought, "oh hey that must be an intake, in an attempt to look like i know wtf im talking about ill comment on it." I know the first time i looked into the engine bay of my 2G i was like "....wtf?" It is rather cluttered and confusing in there if you dont know your way around it.

this... i was the same thing 4 months ago... im still new though... but learning fast...

 

[njo0912]

I was out last Friday night cruising the strip with my girlfriend. beating up on some mustangs and civics when i see this redneck i a diesel coming in hot, i was like and got into it a little bit just enough to hold him off.

We come up to a red light, he rolls down his window and in hick accent with a dip in his mouth says "you know what the sad thing is, this fuel tank in the back of my truck weighs more than your whole car".

I wanted to say "you know whats even more sad, i was barely even in it" but i just rolled up my window. The girl riding with him looked pretty embarrassed that he opened his mouth.

I would make sure you have the supporting mods for that 16g so you don't damage your engine. check the stage 1 upgrade path and check 'em off or get em. There is no way around them.

Friend of mine has a built 420a Talon ready to turbo. He has everything he needs except a custom downpipe, and a fuel cut defender. Posted a picture on his facebook of the turbo he's putting on his 1G DSM in the engine bay of his 420a Talon and said "should I"?


Well, in the discussion of picture he mentioned he only needed a fuel cut defender and a custom down-pipe. Someone then piped in and posted this.

"Fuel cut is ## friend. If ## getting fuel cut, something is wrong.."

If you don't know why this is funny, you shouldn't be anywhere near DSM's.

Is your friend planning on tuning with link or some other method? With that and the neccesary fuel upgrades and managemant, why would he still need the fuel cut defender?

 

[CrackedDSM]

I would make sure you have the supporting mods for that 16g so you don't damage your engine. check the stage 1 upgrade path and check 'em off or get em. There is no way around them.



Is your friend planning on tuning with link or some other method? With that and the neccesary fuel upgrades and managemant, why would he still need the fuel cut defender?

It's a 420a.... No such thing as Link for them.


And no. It's totally 150% stock. Should work just bolting the turbo up, and cranking the boost with no tuning, fuel, or anything right?

 

[95-20g-18psi-nc]

i had a guy tell me my 95 gst had 4 cams!! hahaha

 

[NHerron]

Hmmm when I got my first DSM, the turbo failed right away. I knew a little bit about them so decided to fix it myself...

At the you pull yard, I was checking out the DSM stock there and noticed a few guys IN THE PROCESS of removing a N/A 4G63. I figured with me being a noob and all, I could pick their brains on these wonderful iron blocks. So we get to chatting a little bit, I go on to tell them about my turbo's compressor wheel that infiltrated and killed the already bored out block. And that I was there to find a good used block.

To my astonishment, one of the guys pipes up and says, "why don't you just re-sleeve the block?"

Goes without saying the next 3 minutes of me explaining how its not like that, was awkwardly 'tarded.

 

[Trav83]

I don't wanna label the guy as dumb since he was pretty cool, but I still need to share this...

Me: Is that your Eclipse spyder out there? Is it a GS-T?
Him: Sure is, it's a '96
Me: Oh that's cool, I have a '92 Eclipse
Him: Is it a spyder too?
Me: .............
Me: No, they didn't make convertibles during the first generation

 

[91gsdohc]

not a dsm but its funny as hell to me so i thought id share
so i needed a jump yesterday so i waited for my brother to come home and the jump failed but later i realized that he had is car off

me: your a stupid fcuk you wanna know why that jump didnt work.. because you forgot to turn your car on
him: haahha really i didnt think cars supposed to be on
me:really? you didnt know that? how many jumps have youve done you should know your cars supposed to be on
him: hahaha idk i forgot
me: speechless

i think hes been smoking way too much

 

[97_JDM_GSX]

I don't wanna label the guy as dumb since he was pretty cool, but I still need to share this...

Me: Is that your Eclipse spyder out there? Is it a GS-T?
Him: Sure is, it's a '96
Me: Oh that's cool, I have a '92 Eclipse
Him: Is it a spyder too?
Me: .............
Me: No, they didn't make convertibles during the first generation

actually there are 1g convertables, they are rare though.

 

[GsxEcutioner]

actually there are 1g convertables, they are rare though.

the targa top doesnt count as a convertible.

 

[RadDsm]

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[Blurred Talon]

not a dsm but its funny as hell to me so i thought id share
so i needed a jump yesterday so i waited for my brother to come home and the jump failed but later i realized that he had is car off

me: your a stupid fcuk you wanna know why that jump didnt work.. because you forgot to turn your car on
him: haahha really i didnt think cars supposed to be on
me:really? you didnt know that? how many jumps have youve done you should know your cars supposed to be on
him: hahaha idk i forgot
me: speechless

i think hes been smoking way too much

I've jumped cars without having the the other one turned on.

 

[NHerron]

I thought this was a funny thread...where's the new stories peeps

 

[rlacasse1]

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That is the only true convertible 1g DSM. I was talking to the engineers that designed it when I was at MOD. It was just a protype, never produced.

 

[91stocker]

That is the only true convertible 1g DSM. I was talking to the engineers that designed it when I was at MOD. It was just a protype, never produced.

Looks terrible imo. Like a 2nd gen vert sunbird.

The targa top 1g's are sexy as hell though.

 

[Blindmouse]

That is the only true convertible 1g DSM. I was talking to the engineers that designed it when I was at MOD. It was just a protype, never produced.

That was a factory modded?

And what's this?

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[95eclipsers-t]

just got my 95 eclipse n/a and everyone was around lookin at it (new paint b4 my cheatin ex gf keyed it .....) this random guy walks up (who dont own a car)......

guy:man thats a nice eclipse...
me:thanks...?
guy:is it turboed??
me:not yet, it will be...
guy:then y does it have the turboed hood and wing?!?!
me:the wing came on later models and someone added it b4 me... hood????
guy:yea that hump is for the turbo models!
me:........... no its not its stock on every single dsm made...
guyh... i thought it was just the turbo ones, idk much bout 4 bangers i know bout v8's
me:............. smh

 

[WES_393]

I had an encounter today with a guy who worked at Sonic. It was nice day so I was rolling around in my lady's Spyder GS with the top down.

Him- Is that a GST or GS?
Me- GS but it's my lady's car. I have a TSi sitting at home
Him- That's too bad, Talon's are junk. The American assemblers really f'ed it up.
Me- Uh, you do know they are the exact same car made in the same place, right?
Him- Same engine, trans, and suspension but the Talons have a shorter roof and are more prone to crankwalk.
Me - You sure about that? WTF
Him- Yeah I used to have a 99 GSX, I know what I'm talking about.
Me- Whatever man

He's the expert because he works at Sonic and used to have a GSX. Even though I'm a mechanic with 2 perfectly running DSM's in the garage one of which is on it's second rebuilt engine.

 

[g4ebguy90]

When I went to go buy my GST, There were 4 kids in this garage trying to sell me the car.

They said it had a blown motor. Popped the hood, only thing off was the plastic mitsubishi spark plug cover.

I was like why didn't you guys get into it? They were like, O we don't know nothing about these 4 cyl's. We only work on v8's. One kid had a 83 mustang with a 93 engine I guess, other guy a modded el camino and some other kid had a truck. All pretty modded, except the truck....

Yet they couldn't do nothing but take off the spark plug cover......
They were scarred of the timing system. Because they have never worked on Over head cam engines.

I never worked on a v8 before, but judging by what I saw at school, when people built them, it looked about 20x easier then my 4g63.

 

[WES_393]

^ that's great. What was the actual damage?

 

[g4ebguy90]

^ that's great. What was the actual damage?

Well it for sure has a spun bearing.... But HE FOR SURE SAID IT WAS CRANKWALK!

 

[BlackTwinkie]

this ones great i had this kid look into my engine and he said dude your turbo is small why dont you get a bigger turbo to make more power i seen a lot of big turbos on ebay for cheap?
ME: -________________-
p.s by the way i have a clipped & ported Evo3 16g"

 

[95eclipsers-t]

i just had another a couple days ago ... ok here we go.... i walk into work with only like 3 hrs of sleep so i waas grumpy ... and a coworker came up to me and said

him:how hard is it to turbo a v8??
me:idk, but im sure it cant be too bad y??
him:im gonna turbo that car (points behind me)
me:which car?? (there is like 4 or 5 cars where he pointin...)
him:the gold one
me:the honda accord?????
him:yea!!! its got a v8 in it!!!
(now note b4 i put anythin else, its his mom's)
me: WTF its a honda.. it dont make a v8 in an accord...
him:yea they do!!! this one has one!!! i swear!!!
me:it goes bwahhhhh!!! not bloom blom blloom (cammed out v8 motor)
him: (turns red) ohh....