Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[Colt4G63 also]

i just had another a couple days ago ... ok here we go.... i walk into work with only like 3 hrs of sleep so i waas grumpy ... and a coworker came up to me and said

him:how hard is it to turbo a v8??
me:idk, but im sure it cant be too bad y??
him:im gonna turbo that car (points behind me)
me:which car?? (there is like 4 or 5 cars where he pointin...)
him:the gold one
me:the honda accord?????
him:yea!!! its got a v8 in it!!!
(now note b4 i put anythin else, its his mom's)
me: WTF its a honda.. it dont make a v8 in an accord...
him:yea they do!!! this one has one!!! i swear!!!
me:it goes bwahhhhh!!! not bloom blom blloom (cammed out v8 motor)
him: (turns red) ohh....

Maybe it's an 8v,

 

[1MeanTSI]

Talking with this kidI work with about my old talon (hx40 , cams, shep stage 3 the normal built dsm)
This kid has an ls1 f body with a super chip....
Me: Nice bird man. One of the few Fbodies ive liked
LS1 Kid: Thanks dude. What do you drive?
Me: Im into dsms. I have a GSX right now thats running mid-low 11s. I used to have a talon tsi that was right around 550whp.
Kid: Thats pretty sick man. I could probably take it, I raced a twin turbo talon on my way to worked and killed him.
Me: Compound boost?
Kid: Huh? It was a the v6 model...you know stock twins?
Me: No.... this is how this works......

And after an hour long lecture about hp and cars in general, i took him for a ride in the GSX I let the bov sound after about 7 psi and he had a woody. Then i did a good hard 2nd gear pull he was like WTF

 

[GsxEcutioner]

I had an encounter today with a guy who worked at Sonic. It was nice day so I was rolling around in my lady's Spyder GS with the top down.

Him- Is that a GST or GS?
Me- GS but it's my lady's car. I have a TSi sitting at home
Him- That's too bad, Talon's are junk. The American assemblers really f'ed it up.
Me- Uh, you do know they are the exact same car made in the same place, right?
Him- Same engine, trans, and suspension but the Talons have a shorter roof and are more prone to crankwalk.
Me - You sure about that? WTF
Him- Yeah I used to have a 99 GSX, I know what I'm talking about.
Me- Whatever man

He's the expert because he works at Sonic and used to have a GSX. Even though I'm a mechanic with 2 perfectly running DSM's in the garage one of which is on it's second rebuilt engine.

I'd go back with my other car if I were you.

 

[raiderrodney]

Talking with this kidI work with about my old talon (hx40 , cams, shep stage 3 the normal built dsm)
This kid has an ls1 f body with a super chip....
Me: Nice bird man. One of the few Fbodies ive liked
LS1 Kid: Thanks dude. What do you drive?
Me: Im into dsms. I have a GSX right now thats running mid-low 11s. I used to have a talon tsi that was right around 550whp.
Kid: Thats pretty sick man. I could probably take it, I raced a twin turbo talon on my way to worked and killed him.
Me: Compound boost?
Kid: Huh? It was a the v6 model...you know stock twins?
Me: No.... this is how this works......

And after an hour long lecture about hp and cars in general, i took him for a ride in the GSX I let the bov sound after about 7 psi and he had a woody. Then i did a good hard 2nd gear pull he was like WTF

I enjoy reading all these funny stories but its the ones like this that educate and inspire that touch my heart



Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk

 

[DeadlyScone]

Okay this is some guy on YouTube making a complete retard out of himself.

There's a difference between import, and ricer.
Puddingsyringe 1 day ago

@Puddingsyringe the difference is called 4g63 an JDM(civics)

- DSM 4 LIFE
deadlyscone 1 day ago

Here is where it gets good__________________________________________________

@deadlyscone are you stoned? JDM describes anything that is sold in japan.
ctsincebay 10 hours ago

EDIT: last comment he posted.

@deadlyscone Yep you're right my mistake. I had it backwards. I was confusing it with some other cars that were made in Japan and marketed locally with different names.

-----------------------------


@ctsincebay are you stoned? DSM was a Chrysler cooperation that manufactured these cars locally in the USA(hence DODGE PLYMOUTH and JEEP/EAGLE and Chrysler) Mitsubishi joined in due to the fact that the JDM cut them off because they wanted to deal locally in japan.
deadlyscone 2 hours ago

@deadlyscone ACTUALLY, the car was manufactured in Japan and DSM marketed the car with a different name locally in an effort to compete with the entry level performance sector -- a market that NONE of the domestic automakers had any presence in.
ctsincebay 35 minutes ago

@ctsincebay ACTUALLY your really ignorant and need to stick to your Civics.
DSM's were produced in Illinois, Which is a state in north america just in case you don't know that also. 1G dsm's are more domestic than most of the cars built today. Please do some reading before going and opening your mouth about something you have no knowledge on.
deadlyscone 17 minutes ago

EDIT: Recent post and the final post.

@deadlyscone Yep you're right my mistake. I had it backwards. I was confusing it with some other cars that were made in Japan and marketed locally with different names.
------------------------

 

[GsxEcutioner]

Okay this is some guy on YouTube making a complete retard out of himself.

There's a difference between import, and ricer.
Puddingsyringe 1 day ago

@Puddingsyringe the difference is called 4g63 an JDM(civics)

- DSM 4 LIFE
deadlyscone 1 day ago

Here is where it gets good__________________________________________________

@deadlyscone are you stoned? JDM describes anything that is sold in japan.
ctsincebay 10 hours ago

@ctsincebay are you stoned? DSM was a Chrysler cooperation that manufactured these cars locally in the USA(hence DODGE PLYMOUTH and JEEP/EAGLE and Chrysler) Mitsubishi joined in due to the fact that the JDM cut them off because they wanted to deal locally in japan.
deadlyscone 2 hours ago

@deadlyscone ACTUALLY, the car was manufactured in Japan and DSM marketed the car with a different name locally in an effort to compete with the entry level performance sector -- a market that NONE of the domestic automakers had any presence in.
ctsincebay 35 minutes ago

@ctsincebay ACTUALLY your really ignorant and need to stick to your Civics.
DSM's were produced in Illinois, Which is a state in north america just in case you don't know that also. 1G dsm's are more domestic than most of the cars built today. Please do some reading before going and opening your mouth about something you have no knowledge on.
deadlyscone 17 minutes ago

This is most stupid thing I've read because it involves E-thugging.

 

[crusada]

x1000 on that sir. I read it and was like WTF

 

[BurrowZ]

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[DeadlyScone]

This is most stupid thing I've read because it involves E-thugging.

okay even though it was just a video comment it still stands to reason.

I.E: if this were in real life or online, either way.

 

[95eclipsers-t]

colt 4g63 also... the kid is dumb as hell bout cars, but i guess u gotta start somewhere like honda ... thats where i started... but... my dream car was an eclipse... (call me a low and basic dreamer) but ive wanted on since i was 13.... im 20 now with my first one...

 

[944g63]

Tonight I was talking with this kid that used to own a 1g. It was pretty quick but after talking with him more I realized he was completely full of s***. He tries to say that he will help me with my car if I need it.

So this is what he tries to tell me:
him: You should keep your stock exhaust manifold it will outflow any aftermarket manifold if it's ported.
me: Actually I planned on running the stock one and maybe picking up a 2g manifold because they flow better then the 1g stock manifold.
him: Well you know that won't work because the 2g motors are flipped around like the Evos.
me: uhm no the 2g motors are exactly the same as 1g motors, are you sure your not talking about the 420a?
him: No, lots of people Evo swap those cars.

At this point I'm thinking WTF this kid isn't getting anywhere near my car. I proceeded to look up "2g DSM engine bay" on my droid, and I show him that all the motors are the same. He tries to cover up his BS with a simple oh I've never seen a 2g with the motor on that side, it must be the AWD ones with the motor on the left side of the bay. After hearing that I just stopped listening to him as he tried to tell me the "right way" to build my car.

This kid also tried to get me to buy his old 1g talon, I'm glad I passed that deal up now.

 

[95eclipsers-t]

here is ANOTHER ... me and my buddy (who has a 240 now, but this was when he had his honda and i had mine as well) it was 2 days ago btw but people informed him bout this durin our honda days......

ok story time!!!

him=my buddy
guy=buddy, but 4g63 owner at the time....


him:how do u turbo a non turbo car??? is it very hard???
guy:dude DO NOT DO IT!!!!! its insanly hard... just to even have the oil feed line, u have to drill and tap into the block!!!! (i looked at him at this time like this..... WTF )
him:whaaaat!!! hell no nevermind!!!
guy:u would be better off buyin a already turboed car..... blah blah blah...
(then he seen my honda and well, he seen it wasnt as bad as what the guy said )

after he told me the story we both laughed our ass off....

 

[dsmusmc]

This toolbag I used to hang out with would say some crazy sh!t. He knows absolutely EVERYTHING and can never be wrong or admit a mistake. He drives a Spyder because he said "that's what chicks dig" even though half the time he acts like he's queer.

-Cams don't add HP. If you get cams you don't need anything bigger then 264. If you want 272 or 280's get adjustable cam gears and degree them.

-A PTE6152 is going to get him 700+HP because it's equivalent of a 40R.

-DSMlink isn't proven. No ones ran faster then 11's with it.

-He has never taken his car down the track but knows his GST with 16G, 3" exhaust, and stock IC runs 11's flat on 9psi.

-Once he builds his high HP car he's only using Autozone stock clutch because with lifetime warranty it's stupid to spend the extra money.

-All this and he claims to have a 8 second tube chassis car him and his buddy bought from Buschur but keeps it in PA. Doesn't want to draw attention or show off.

-He also changes Brent Rau's head gaskets at the shootout.

-He hangs out with Jon Shepherd at Summit racing because that's where he goes all the time for the Talon.

-At the 2011 shootout he said the 7 second RX7 was the Able brothers not the 3 fast as hell autos. He knows all this because he talked to them.

-He was flashing the 98-99 ECU's before anyone else was. He also claims to have had all the ECU codes to burn chips for eproms before Jeff at DSMchips started selling them. Him and Jeff are the only two people on the planet with codes for the 2G.

-FWD will out perform AWD any day. AWD isn't for performance they only made them because they sold DSMs in areas that snow.

-Body kit is the only way to improve flow.

All the bullsh!t and he's a mechanic and a motorcycle tech. In fact he claims to have designed the combustion chambers for the R1. He pulled so much timing my car would barely move, would sputter, and back fire but I was told it wasn't the tune it was the driver. He either did a horrible tune or is that jealous of someone with a better setup.

 

[D Loco]

A so called mechanic told me i was goin to to ruin my motor with 20/50 oil that i really need to use 5/30

 

[Tfitch90]

EPIC FAIL!!!!! A ricer with a honda civic pulled up to me at a stop light that was riced da #### out!!! wing, body kit, paint job, so low it scraps every little thing on the ground, fart can, cold air intake, big V-TEC decal sticker on back window big JDM decal sticker on the hood, decal stickers all over the ####in car. This stupid #### saids why the #### would u ever wanna own a dsm? you know they stand for Dick Suckin Motor right(dsm). i just laughted at him and asked him if all his sticker decals give him any extra hp he said yeah 5 more hp per sticker( i really hope he wasnt being serious). he revs up his engine to the max rpm for like 15secs waiting for the light to turn green. and then when it turned green he launched burns out then boom! blown head gasket and on top of that his car bottom out while he did this and ripped his fart can muffler off. hahahahahahahahahahahaa!!!! ####ing priceless. i stopped next to him and said who has the Dick Suckin Motor now??? p.s JDM= junk da motor =P <<< EPIC WIN will never forget that day. made me laugh for weeks

Dumbest thing ive heard a DSM'er say ? ^^^ This guy said "laughted". WTF

not a dsm but its funny as hell to me so i thought id share
so i needed a jump yesterday so i waited for my brother to come home and the jump failed but later i realized that he had is car off

me: your a stupid fcuk you wanna know why that jump didnt work.. because you forgot to turn your car on
him: haahha really i didnt think cars supposed to be on
me:really? you didnt know that? how many jumps have youve done you should know your cars supposed to be on
him: hahaha idk i forgot
me: speechless

i think hes been smoking way too much

I bet you was standing right there to. But you can jump a car with a car off you can even jump it with just another battery if the charge is good.

not a dsm but its funny as hell to me so i thought id share
so i needed a jump yesterday so i waited for my brother to come home and the jump failed but later i realized that he had is car off

me: your a stupid fcuk you wanna know why that jump didnt work.. because you forgot to turn your car on
him: haahha really i didnt think cars supposed to be on
me:really? you didnt know that? how many jumps have youve done you should know your cars supposed to be on
him: hahaha idk i forgot
me: speechless

i think hes been smoking way too much

I bet you was standing right there to. But you can jump a car with a car off you can even jump it with just another battery if the charge is good.

 

[95eclipsers-t]

my buddy with an awd turboed volvo was at work oneday and a co worker came up and asked where is the button to turn the turbo on??

 

[Pirrofab]

This toolbag I used to hang out with would say some crazy sh!t. He knows absolutely EVERYTHING and can never be wrong or admit a mistake. He drives a Spyder because he said "that's what chicks dig" even though half the time he acts like he's queer.

-Cams don't add HP. If you get cams you don't need anything bigger then 264. If you want 272 or 280's get adjustable cam gears and degree them.

-A PTE6152 is going to get him 700+HP because it's equivalent of a 40R.

-DSMlink isn't proven. No ones ran faster then 11's with it.

-He has never taken his car down the track but knows his GST with 16G, 3" exhaust, and stock IC runs 11's flat on 9psi.

-Once he builds his high HP car he's only using Autozone stock clutch because with lifetime warranty it's stupid to spend the extra money.

-All this and he claims to have a 8 second tube chassis car him and his buddy bought from Buschur but keeps it in PA. Doesn't want to draw attention or show off.

-He also changes Brent Rau's head gaskets at the shootout.

-He hangs out with Jon Shepherd at Summit racing because that's where he goes all the time for the Talon.

-At the 2011 shootout he said the 7 second RX7 was the Able brothers not the 3 fast as hell autos. He knows all this because he talked to them.

-He was flashing the 98-99 ECU's before anyone else was. He also claims to have had all the ECU codes to burn chips for eproms before Jeff at DSMchips started selling them. Him and Jeff are the only two people on the planet with codes for the 2G.

All the bullsh!t and he's a mechanic and a motorcycle tech. In fact he claims to have designed the combustion chambers for the R1. He pulled so much timing my car would barely move, would sputter, and back fire but I was told it wasn't the tune it was the driver. He either did a horrible tune or is that jealous of someone with a better setup.

I camped next to a guy at the ilan travl park with a 2g spyder that talked me about all this.... He said he had several dsms and felt like bringing his convertible. The guy also told me that he personally knew shep and helped him swap a HG at an event so he could continue on through the day. And he knew brent rau somehow. We have to be talking about the same guy.

 

[dsmusmc]

my buddy with an awd turboed volvo was at work oneday and a co worker came up and asked where is the button to turn the turbo on??

Some knight rider sh!t.

I camped next to a guy at the ilan travl park with a 2g spyder that talked me about all this.... He said he had several dsms and felt like bringing his convertible. The guy also told me that he personally knew shep and helped him swap a HG at an event so he could continue on through the day. And he knew brent rau somehow. We have to be talking about the same guy.

We have to be that's where he is every year.. Dark green? Wears sun glasses all the time even at night? His other 2G has a body kit because it's the only way to improve flow. His other two are rolling chassis 1G and ones not even a turbo DSM.

 

[GsxEcutioner]

my buddy with an awd turboed volvo was at work oneday and a co worker came up and asked where is the button to turn the turbo on??

I used to own a Automatic Turbo Volvo. They use a button to activate and deactivate overdrive which affects how the turbo boost on it. Also BMW 335i are able to shut off their turbos completely through the ecu.
-Shane

 

[GST2012GSX]

Theres an add in craiglist, this guy is selling a 97 eclipse gsx with an v4 engine and also is 4x4. I was laughing my asxx.

 

[Boosted DSM 32]

My one buddy says he has "Brian Crower 272's" because the cams on his head had a little b on them.. hahaha also said he has evo rods.. fmic.. t3t4 turbo... act clutch... 1000cc injectors 255wb.. dsmlink.. but he's "too lazy" to put them on hahah

OHH and he's running 'COBRA SOFTWARE" on his ecu

 

[Dert]

"I think I have crankwalk"

 

[WRXkiller92]

"your timing belt is squeaking"

 

[Pirrofab]

dsmusmc- YES that is the guy. the guy was nice to talk to and didn't come off like a d*** although his stories did seem a bit crazy.

 

[dsmusmc]

dsmusmc- YES that is the guy. the guy was nice to talk to and didn't come off like a d*** although his stories did seem a bit crazy.

He never comes off like it he's always your friend until you turn your back and he talks to someone else. Everyone else is always wrong he's always right and no matter what you have he always has something better. It gets old especially someone who's almost 30 and acts like he's 13 it's why no one around here can stand him.