Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[1990AWD]

Then he tried to tell me that he used to own a Porsche Boxter that was quad turbocharged, running one turbo to each cylinder, pushing 47 PSI each

Technically, that would be one turbo to every 1.5 cylinders.

Last week at the local car club meet, there was a Subura owner from Ontario who claimed he was Colin McRae's best friend and toured with him. He drove a '05 STi that had been converted to RHD because he said McRae gave him one of his rally engines and the wiring harness was made for RHD, so it was easier to swap the dash and steering than to re-wire the engine. Funniest thing about his "470whp rally engine" was that it was bone stock straight from the factory.

 

[98GSXin]

What the hell is a GT35 turbo? I've heard of GT35R, and GT3582R but never just GT35.... Reminds me of the days I didn't know shit about turbos, and since I saw someone online selling a "turbo kit" for my car I assumed Advance Auto would carry one...

GT35 is the journal bearing version of the GT35R, which is ball bearing. I actually have one...

 

[Talon_Spade]

you gotta read this

 

[Dhan]

Sounds like a chick wrote it

You should go look at it and talk her down. Maybe it's a turbo and she doesn't know.

 

[Fotowntalon]

". Put in new and expensive cool air filter"
"and single mom.."
I feel bad for people who are oblivious to cars and get scammed.

 

[2GbTalonGuy]

Sounds like a chick wrote it

What gave it away? the part where she said "single mom"?

 

[Talon_Spade]

Oh I plan on it, I set up a meeting with her after work tomorrow. I'm going to drive my talon instead of my truck and show her I know what I'm talking about >.< !! If I can get her to go for less depending on if its turbo, or not which I think it isn't, but either way than just maybe.... I might give her half what she is asking. But from the picture I can't see it on the sideskirts, but they could be replaced...

 

[snowborder714]

How many '97's do you see with the low spoiler that are turbo? None that I've seen.

Although, with her's containing the rare 6 cylinder, you probably don't need the turbo

 

[Boostinsideways]

Maybe she has a 6g72T swap in that bi***?

GT35 is the journal bearing version of the GT35R, which is ball bearing. I actually have one...

Ah, Didn't realize you could get a journal bearing GT35R

 

[tony_tsi]

"Yea your car is nice but my buddies eclipse hit 500HP at the crank on the dyno! He would have had more hp but he lost 280HP in the trans and his huge injectors sucked his fuel lines flat!". Kid from craigslist on phone.

Me trying not to laugh "Thats crazy he must have some really good injectors what size are they"

Him" they are stage 4 they are like 3 inches in diameter"

me" BA HA HA HA HA HA HA" (CLICK!!!)




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[LandoAWD]

Measuring crank HP at the wheels is how the pros do it, broseph.

 

[tony_tsi]

I have found that if you try to sell any type of performance parts on craigslist you are asking for it!


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[daplatano91]

Measuring crank HP at the wheels is how the pros do it, broseph.

Can't dynapak dynos measure crank horsepower at the wheels to a certain degree of accuracy? I know extreme-turbos in greece does it.

 

[DSMBlake]

when i first got my 96 gst my frind was riding with me and ask "whats that squeek noise ## car makes" asking about the stock bov

i replyed "what squeek"

 

[Codders]

i have this kid at my work that constantly acts like he know everything about everything im sure everyone know one of those idiots...but he was like your car is really nice its like camerons right? (whom has a 3g :/) and i was like no no no no NO...my car is so much sexier than his in so many ways... and this kid added on a "looks the same to me" i about lost my mind

 

[blindboarder_02]

I was once one of these idiots.
When I first started driving and getting into cars, I thought some very stupid things that may have never been said outloud, but I do know now that I would have sounded like a moron.

FOR INSTANCE:

1. Before I ever really got into specs and research, I assumed the Talon was like a dirty southern cousin to the Eclipse.
2. I once thought a MIVEC block/head would bolt into my 2g Tsi.
3. I thought the FMIC was an external radiator for extra coolant.
4. Assumed the front differential could be disengaged for RWD drift.

I know how ridiculous that all sounds and trust me I have learned.
Thanks to dsmtuners.com, widsm.org and 2gnt.com I feel a bit more informed and educated on DSM's

 

[bryzenga]

One question that keeps popping up when someone is insistant at wanting to see my engine bay is that when they see the stainless braided fuel lines, they ask, "Oh wow, you got nitrous too?!?!"

Or, when someone who isnt familiar with DSM's sees the chrysler logo on part of the 1gb talon sideskirt, they ask, "Why are you trying to make your car out to be a chrysler, its a japanese car...."

Or the whole, "What stage turbo is that.... what stage clutch you got... what stage...." Ya'll get the idea.
Me: Uhhh.... Stage 50

 

[Boostinsideways]

One question that keeps popping up when someone is insistant at wanting to see my engine bay is that when they see the stainless braided fuel lines, they ask, "Oh wow, you got nitrous too?!?!"

My favourite ones are the ones that can't find a turbo.

"Hey man thats a sweet eclipse" - points @ my talon.
"yeah"
"Is it turbo"
"yup"
"nice let me check it out"
pops hood
after several minutes :
"So uh where is the turbo?"

I guess I need to get a top mount manifold and one of those cheap ebay "TURBOCHARG EVO III 16G GT" turbos, polish the cover and put neons on it.

 

[Outrun Talon]

My favourite ones are the ones that can't find a turbo.

"Hey man thats a sweet eclipse" - points @ my talon.
"yeah"
"Is it turbo"
"yup"
"nice let me check it out"
pops hood
after several minutes :
"So uh where is the turbo?"

I guess I need to get a top mount manifold and one of those cheap ebay "TURBOCHARG EVO III 16G GT" turbos, polish the cover and put neons on it.

Some people just don't know. You don't know until someone teaches you about Turbos and you learn its always run off the exhaust. Whenever people can't find my turbo I give them the "Turbos in a nutshell" lesson


But anyway back to the topic:

Very nice, i like that a lot better. just picked up a 95 talon and i'm trying to find some aftermarket tail lights but it seems impossible. everything is for the eclipse

D'oh!

 

[BurrowZ]

Got another one for you guys:

I was on craigs and saw a 95 Talon - $1000. I mean, who wouldn't open that?

I called the guy up and he long story short he said I could test drive it last night. So I show up to his place across town and I had originally asked him if it was a TSi, he said "nope no turbo" so when I asked him if I could pop the hood and check it out I was pleasantly surprised to see it was in fact a 4G63. So I went to the rear to check for "rust" and sure enough, AWD.

So here I thought excellent, black 95 TSi AWD, 101k miles, bone stock with a 12" sub and aftermarket speakers that come with. It was leather too but I've seen better interiors.

So I asked why so cheap? The guy said "I am punishing my son he just got his license taken away after three days of being 16!!"

I 'd at that, but then here is the kicker:

"There's no problems with this car. It's kind of rusty as you can see, we only got it a week ago. *points at the recirc tube* it's got a foreign illegal mod on it here, this moves some of the air back into the intake and it creates a typhoon type effect *swirls his fingers in the air* which really makes this thing go. Trust me it flies!!!"

If that isn't funny enough

"Oh there is ONE problem though, I noticed when taking a sharp or hard left turn, the clutch pedal sticks. I'm sure it's nothing. *laughs* When I bought this car, I took a corner so hard I knocked the crank sensor loose!! Haha! That was a 200$ mistake right there."

I later had to tell him I wasn't interested and on the way home I had the strangest mix of crying/laughing because I missed out on such a great deal.

 

[fretmelter]

well this thread isnt too old so ill post a story.
Not a DSMer but funny. I have a 1966 ford f100 with a rebuilt BB 460 and c6 trans. Lots of upgrades..anyway.
My friend has a 2003 hyundai Sonota.

Friend: What did you do today?
Me: Well i worked on my truck a lil bit. Had to fix a few small things.
Friend: I would beat that in high speed and off the line
Me: (laughing at the words high speed) You know your car will shutoff at a certain speed? And i dont know buddy i got some tourque.
Friend: No way i have a v6 and way more gears (meaning transmission). How fast do you think it will go?
Me: I dont know. lets leave though.

SECOND STORY
Friend with 2008 subaru Legacy 5 spd

Friend: Hey you want to race?
Me: Um sure 0-70 (and i laughed)
Friend: Ill def win that you have 3 gears ad i have 5. Ill be in 4 while your still in 2nd.
Me: I know.....

Meanwhile in the case above. I recently saw im on the highway. In his "race car suby" me in my 2008 Mitsubishi Endeavor. We were n a highway and i looked over at him and he pulled ahead. I then floored it () and i caught up and proceeded to stay a lil ahead until 100mph. I slowed down, me and my gf laughing our asses off

 

[dboyle23]

My buddy was driving his protege and knew that I recently purchased a 2g AWD. He told me he also had a turbo. I told him he doesn't and he didn't believe me. So I said ok show me the turbo. So he goes in the car and I go towards the hood thinking hes going to pop the hood. He tells me that it's inside the car, so I start laughing a bit and go towards him. He then says "it's right here" and points to the button for turning the overdrive on/off.

 

[turbo laser]

Alright I have one for you guys. While I was away at college, they had a car club, so decided to see what it was all about.

Member - "Oh thats an old dsm"
Me - "Yeah its a 90, manufacturing date is older than me. But it gets its job done. What do you drive?"
Member - "Well I don't have a car here, I came with a buddy in his 08 civic si."
We move to bar.
Me - "So what kind of car do you have at home?"
Member - "Oh at home i have a honda hatch with a type r swap. I am also a sponsored racer with my supra."
Me - "OH a SUPRA. Whats done to it, and mk3 or mk4?"
Member - "Its an mk4. It has the 2jz, that we bored out to a 4 liter."
Me - "Really! You went from a 3l 2jz to a 4l 2jz. (Giggling)"
Member - "Yeah the turbo I'm running is the size of your chest. I turned down a sponsorship by HKS! And am running a turbonetics."
Me - "Can I see pictures or videos of such car?"
Member - "They are all on my other phone"
Me - drink my beer in laughter. Rest of the car club was full of cocky parents built cars and cars they know nothing about.

Go on to see the kid drive through campus in his 4 color civic. He revved at me at a stop sign as i walked to class. dumped the clutch and was so slow, i could beat it in reverse.

 

[Blue Talon Boy]

I got one. Wasn't a DSM guy but a pointless conversation nonetheless.

At a local car show, my buddy and I are hanging by our cars. He has an STi, seems to draw a lot of attention, then people look under my hood.

Random guy: hey, nice car.

Me: thanks guy

Guy: (notices my Mitsu hat on my head) why are you wearing that Mitsu hat, this is an eagle?

Me: it has a Mitsu powerplant

Guy: but its a Chrysler product.

Me: sorta. It's a DSM. A product of a joint venture between Mitsubishi and Chrysler.

Guy: but why wear a Mitsu hat?

Me: because it is a Mitsubishi engine.

Another one.

Me and my buddy, same car show, different night.

Guy looks under the hood.

Guy: nice probe GT.

Me: *facepalm*

I don't know how a 1ga Talon can be mistaken for a probe GT. Sure they both have 4 cyl turbos and pop up headlights, but the similarities end there. Last time I looked, the Eagle badge and the Ford oval look nothing alike...

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[DaRKSiDeGSX]

Today was epic...

The new talon I picked up overheats, I pull over in Wendy's to cool it for a while.

Truck rolls up

Red neck Johnny: HEY! What you pushin in that?

Me: what??

RNJ: is that turbo?

Me: :mumbling: W T F

RNJ: :get's out of car and proceeds to approach me sitting in front of the open hood where he'll begin to look over my car like tech inspection...

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ME: yea it's turbo it's running 17psi

RNJ: yea i was gonna buy my buddies old talon gsx it was so fast he was running *********40 lbs***********

Me : contemplating putting my face on the scalding hot radiator to take my mind off the pain....:

RNJ: :continues his story: He was runnin a 16g on it. What's this one stock? : points at my turbo: (reference above photo)

Me: :I have now begun having my own more intelligent and hilarious conversation in my head while guessing what this kid is going to say next....:

I missed some nonsense for a while....it caught my attention when he started talking about this 95 talon tsi awd auto i just picked up

RNJ: auto ohh man, that sucks.....

me: I have owned 4 of these it's not because I can't drive a stick it's because I have sought one for a while for the purpose of drag racing. I can build boost while sitting at the line, I don't lose boost between gears, my tranny won't grenade as easily........

rnj: you can build boost with a stick at the line

me: : thinking again: I wonder if this car is cool enough to get the hell out of here.....

rnj: : proceeding with his story: Yea we used to *boost launch* all the time. It would build it right up and take off..........He was running 10's with that thing

me: : thinking again: hey kid, hurry up the 99c menu is calling you and your hot date.......

rnj: you wanna sell it?

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me: yea make an offer you can take it home today.....

rnj: I dunno like 1,000.00

me: I was like sure let me go home and pull the engine/trans and the afc, wideband, etc... you could have the shell for 1000.00, you could have it as is for 3,000.00 (high for issues it's having but it's got all the goodies and could be parted out for at least 2k.)

RNJ: oh alright well I'm a go get somethin to eat....

me: don't look me up on facebook, or buy a dsm ever, please stick to the mustang I think I heard you utter in a story I was ignoring earlier in this conversation.....

All and all best thing I ever heard..... 40psi on a 16g running 10's while building boost in neutral....and don't forget they we're boost launchin bi***! haha