Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[motox-010]

Kid who just bought my hatch asked "Is it boost ready?"
And has asked me 5 times in the past 2 days what engine is in it. My ad said GSR swapped EF hatch. And I listed it has a B18C.

 

[400hp93talon]

This isn't something a dsmer said but it does involve a dsm.....

I've got a 1g talon I'm trying to sell so I posted an add on facebook for it and this is exactly what it said word for word..

FOR SALE 500obo 93 EAGLE TALON TSI AWD BLUE in color. Does not have an ENGINE but does come with trans,transfer case,driveshaft,4 bolt rear end and all cv shafts. It needs alot of work and would not be a good car for somebody that does not know these cars very well. DOES NOT RUN

Well the first and only response I got for it was........"Does it actually run and drive?" and the guy was serious...... So I then deleted the add and just decided to keep the car.

 

[Dhan]

I went to go look at this N/T Talon with a 4G63 in it. The guy told me there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. Despite what he said, it had the classic osculating idle/idle surge problem.

I mentioned it and he said, "Oh that's 'cause I put premium in it this morning. It does that to warm up the engine and the higher octane fuel."

 

[avenged5]

Someone was trying to pull a fast one. .

 

[motox-010]

Everything the idiot I sold my hatch to asks me is retarded.
"Where's the dipstick for the trans?" (B16 5 speed)
"If changing the plugs doesn't work I'll have to rip the head off and change the plugs."

 

[forcdndukshun]

Everything the idiot I sold my hatch to asks me is retarded.
"Where's the dipstick for the trans?" (B16 5 speed)
"If changing the plugs doesn't work I'll have to rip the head off and change the plugs."

My subaru wrx has a dipstick for the trans fluid not completely idiotic, but the spark plug comment qualifies.

 

[motox-010]

I've never seen a dipstick on any of my manuals.
[Mitch]
looking to get a FULL tune next week, trying to debate where, kno any decent trustworthy places ?
[You]
There aren't really any places around here that tune cars.
[Mitch]
I think a place on junction in XXXXX does
[You]
There's nothing to really tune on that car.
[Mitch]
re adjusting these valves wouldnt B too hard ?
i want to time it
[You]
They shouldn't need re adjusted. The guy who had it before me did them right before I got it
[Mitch]
do you kno if u just need to take the head off to cam it ?

Ugh

 

[GsxEcutioner]

My subaru wrx has a dipstick for the trans fluid not completely idiotic, but the spark plug comment qualifies.

Same here, I was about to say that as well.
-shane

 

[91gsdohc]

not a dsmer but funny has hell

my boy whos going to buy a 01 sebring
and after him talking shit bout how its better then my tsi

me.. well my car stock would smoke you
him no my cars v6
me. that dont matter my cars still faster
him its a 4cyl
me its turbo
him so is mine (its stock btw)
me we'll see but i gotta go


also he said you cant find a better car for 5gs

 

[DirtyDave21]

a buddy of mine that drives a riced out rattle can painted VW golf jumped in my car. we're driving down the road and talkin about cars when he asked, Does your turbo have the intercooler built in? my car is non turbo....

 

[ridelowandslow]

Not a dsm'er but..

last week
him: does this car have the stock twin turbo's?
me: they come with a single turbo on the turbo models, have fun riding your bike ( i take off and he pedals off )

last night
him: so you said this has the stock twin turbo's right?
me: no, its a single turbo and it's a stock t25 because my big 16g got destroyed when my oil line burst.
him: so its not like a talon? cause you know talon's have twin turbo's
me: no they don't, 3000gt vr4's do and so do the stealth r/t's
him:

guess he didn't realize he was talking to someone that wasn't as stupid as the people in claremont with honda civics.

 

[motox-010]

I've had a bunch of stupid comments since I got my 5.0
The most common one. (My car is cammed with long tube headers into a catless x-pipe and Super 40s. It sounds like a V8..)
"What's that got for an engine (with 5.0 badges on either side)."
"Its just the 2.3L 4 cylinder. Some jackass slapped 5.0 badges on it. Don't let the exhaust fool you."

Its got a 4" cowl hood too.
"Is that thing boosted?"

"Why did you swap to 4 lug?" (why did Ford swap to 4 lug is my question)

"Is it fast?" I HATE this question. I've got it in everything I've owned.

 

[Calan]

Some jewels from a couple of weeks ago while a friend and his friend were looking at my engine. The friend-of-a-friend apparently owned an Eclipse in the past and was quite the expert:

Friend-of-a-friend: So he tells me you converted this to AWD?
Me: Nope... came that way from the factory.
Friend-of-a-friend: No way man. I used to own a '94 Eclipse and it was only FWD.
Me: Well they made AWD versions also; the Talon TSI and Eclipse GSX.
Friend-of-a-friend: I don't think so man. I bet someone converted this baby in the past.

Uh.... ok.

Friend: Damn dude... that's a big turbo.
Me: Not that big...just an HX40 off a dodge truck.
Friend-of-a-friend: Is that the turbo with one wheel or two?
Me: Huh?
Friend-of-a-friend: Some of them have a wheel on the exhaust besides where the air comes in.
Me: Uhhh... pretty sure this one has two then.

There were a bunch more similar conversations in that 10 minutes or so, but I was so dumbfounded that I forgot them.

 

[onefast2gdsm]

Me "I'm picking up a 6 bolt longblock tonight"
Tech at hyundai- "why get a 6 bolt, get a five bolt"
Me- "WTF is a 5 bolt?!?"
Tech- "Mitsubishi made 6 bolt and 5 bolt engines, it means where the flywheel connects to the crank, if you plan to run a lot of boost, get a 5 bolt!"
Me- laughing and saying this sarcastically -"Ok man thanks for the info! Ill look into it!"

 

[MY1GDSM]

The Sohc N/a 1.8L 4g67 in 1g's has a 5 bolt Crank... .

 

[bnemec08]

Not a DSMer but a kid i know told me he was gonna put twin turbos on his bone stock Cobalt LS.

 

[MY1GDSM]

More power to them... Hope it's a compounding setup an not twins

 

[1990AWD]

Not a DSMer but I was reading about the Hennessey Venom GT in an edition of Road&Track and they explained that you can increase the horsepower by turning up the wastegates but pictures the blow-off valves! Lmao!

How can a magazine thats supposed to know cars be so stupid?!

 

[TSI_TILLIDIE 2]

Yesterday my neighbor told me that he wants to get a gt37r for his ford probe with 250,000 on it so he can run 54 ilbs of boost.

 

[Brian O Conner]

You guys think you run into the dumbest people. I ran into this kid I worked with at Kroger. I asked him what type of car he had. I have the 3.8 liter Mustang v6 1998. I told him that I was in the process of rebuilding my eclipse. He said how much hp you want to run? I told him between 400 and 500 hp is my goal. He goes what a small goal that is going to be a really slow car. Then the best part is. I am putting parts on my car also(1998 mustang 3.8 v6 has I believe no supporting aftermarket companies). I am going to make my car go 250 miles per hour way faster than your eclipse. Me after rebuilding a 420a beast with forged internals and a T3/T4 turbo with a 5 speed. His car a 3.8 v6 1998 Mustang that is an 4 gear automatic. I hate f ers like these guys.

 

[tletech69]

had one guy tell me on his 1g yo i think my car has a problem and i was like why he said ''the temp is rising and theres a light on it looks like the building on the back of a penny'' so i came and saw what he was talking about turns out the low coolant light was on i showed up with my 96 tsi awd and he says to me '' wow your turbo sounds nice when its spoonin up''

 

[tenn-gsx]

Not a dsmer but I had a Honda guy tell me he bored his 1.5l vtec euro spec Integra out to 2.6l. Then he told me he blew it up when he down shifted to slow down and the wg stuck closed and blew the pistons and rods out of the block. Yet it drove a few hundred yards from a stop sign under its own power. I do think he had a right seat something though because he motioned to the right when he was saying he had a 3 gauge pillar pod.

 

[1gdsmftw]

I met this group of people....they formed together in 1 thread and made up fake stories about people doing stuff that they never did...then posted about it in hopes to be able to fit in with the rest of the people on this thread who also made up fake stories

no but really a honda guy said he could beat a dsm at work today......said his car was running 400whp with no forced induction.....funny part is.....its non vtec sohc!

 

[95_GSX_6bolt_N1]

after just getting done telling my room mates random boy that i have a 95 gsx with a 6 molt evo 1 swap he says staring at the car" so your telling me this is a v6 twin turbo " with the hood popped i close the hood walk in the house and say to my room mate thats your boy !! smh

 

[TSIMonsteR]

The Sohc N/a 1.8L 4g67 in 1g's has a 5 bolt Crank... .

4g37