The Official funny stuff on Craigslist thread

[97eclipseNT]

Thought everyone might get a laugh out of this craigslist add. AEM pretzel style intake 3/4in drive shaft and THE ENGINE WAS BUILT IN JAPAN! haha

95 ECLIPSE WHO WANTS TO *RACE?* 1995 ~ Mitsubishi ~ ECLIPSE*550 H.P.

 

[brownfinger]

pretzle-style AND Magnus?

 

[Rex2342]

I posted this in th funny craigslist adds earlier today $30,000 built in japan!!

I've also had the pleasure of working on a few cars built by hybrid dynamics I'll just say they aren't the brightest of mechanics and leave it at that.

 

[i_nick_2005_i]

Yes, please use my thread. Don't let it die

 

[chuckdog_5]

i dont see whats wrong, this car seems completely legit

 

[my dreamt dsm]

this one kills me

FREE ROOSTER

 

[95whitegst]

hahahahaha at the rooster for sale

 

[808DSM]

this one kills me

FREE ROOSTER

Yay, I want it. Woot Woot Chicken Fight. Need some cash and later when dies will eat it.

 

[808DSM]

JDM RHD H22 Vetec Prelude Conversion

Lol. Read ad then look at Photos.

 

[spooln4fun]

Its like a honda El Camino

 

[TurboSportAWD]

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

 

[brownfinger]

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

If she'd send me a pic first I might take her up on that.
I found this on like page 75 of the "Best of"s. I sent it to everyone I went to red rocks with back in '96, and all my other friends who like Phish, but I forgot to share it with you guys. I wonder if she got her boobs; people w/ mad loot were paying up to 2Gs each for a 4-day pass:

best of craigslist > denver > Attn: Phish loving Plastic Surgeons, Red Rocks Offer. Originally Posted: Fri, 3 Apr 10:58 MDT

Attn: Phish loving Plastic Surgeons, Red Rocks Offer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: 2009-04-03, 10:58AM MDT


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Here�s the deal: my girl needs boobs, all you desperados need Red Rocks tickets.

Let me start off by saying, I don�t think my girlfriend needs plastic surgery, but she always mentions how she wants a boob job.

What does Summer Tour mean to us guys? Summer clothes! This will undoubtedly be a summer tour to remember. As more than 4 years have passed since the last summer tour, lot skanks will be getting their skimp on! Let�s not forget how styles have changed over the last few years as much as the chicks that wore them. Goodbye patchwork pants, hello miniskirts with kicks. All them heady ladies will be getting ready to get loose and bust out their best in tour wear.

As much as I want to be a good boyfriend and get her a boob job this benefits everyone. Think about turning the corner to the upper lot of Red Rocks and seeing those fantastic boobs walking towards you, or watching those humongous breasts bounce during the dirty funk of 2001 or how they�ll give you post show masturbation material when your coming down from your Molly high so you can have your own personal Moma dance.

My 2 x 4 Day passes for your medical assistance. Help my girl become Queen of the Lot Scene!



Location: Denver
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

[brownfinger]

And another:
bloomington, IL craigslist > for sale / wanted > free stuff

Wasp Nest (Blm)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-09-23, 10:36AM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Free to loving home.You pick up


•Location: Blm
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1388454376

 

[i_nick_2005_i]

2000 Mitsubishi Eclipse GT

Nice, .....Automatic even.....If I only had $10k+

 

[Evo_This]

^^^ Lmfao!

 

[95whitegst]

at the silver 3g hahahahahhahha

 

[DeNoZZo]

95 Honda Civic Streetracer

 

[Evo_This]

I like the interior, seems he lost his mind with everything else

 

[xblack5dahliax]

,,,,LOOK JUST GET ## MONEY THAT ## OFFERING ME N TRY 2 FIX A HATCH LIKE MY !!!!!!!!LOW BALLERZ DON WASTE MY TIME ........SERIOUS OFFER ONLY NO LITTLE KID STUFF ### PPL CALL ABOUT THE CAR TO MAKE A ARRANGE MENT N Y THEN LAST MINUTES THEY DON SHOEW UP B REAL !!!!N PPL WHO OFFER ME TRADE IM NOT PUTTING CASH ON TOP !!!!!sorry if this isnt ### u r looking 4!!!!i im selling my 93 hatch nothing major wrong with it is ### i wan a diferent car ..like a eclipse gsx ....bmw .....subaru ...turbo would b a trade 4 sure..i don wan them old as bemmers or eclipse .JUST TROW ME A CAR I MIGHT CONSIDER STILL HONDA JUSt tell so we could TRADE ### IS THE WORST THING I COULD SAY SORRY NO THX .....=) .. ..5 speed...EDIT just change the headlight 2 angel lights ..BETTER looking =) .................

Not sure if you all caught that, but this illiterate tard wants a GSX. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS?! He'll be here soon, AHHHHHHHHHHH. I think the mods should keep an eye out for this fool and just ban him before he gets a chance to post.

i seen this post on cl for chicago

 

[Trav83]

Found this one on the best of craigslist, thought it was pretty funny..

_______________________________________________
I have a very small johnson

Date: 2009-08-21, 8:12PM EDT
------------------------------------------------------------------


24 pounds ,its a 1.5 hp. Asking $195 call 535-0107

_______________________________________________

 

[portnpolish97]

13 second car. fast, just needs a little tlc. - $800 (roanoke area.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-10-10, 11:06AM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


im selling my car, i bought it last november, its a 1994 Saturn Sc2. 5 speed. approx. 123,000 miles on it (not exact ### odometer doesnt work.) all other gauges work though.
text me with your questions at 309-360-0067. or email me. its a 94 dohc 4 cylinder engine, with '99 pistons in it, because theyr built stronger. has an Injen Cold Air Intake, K & N filtercharger, new battery, new tires, (i bought them in march) always starts and runs amazing. i drive it to work everyday. HEEERES THE BAD: it needs a new cylinder head, a clutch (i learned how to drive a stick with this, and the weld where the header joins the exhaust broke. i already bought the head and everyting for that, which was like 400. and a new clutch can run anywhere from 160, to 600. (depends on what kind of performance you want.) the drivers side window motor needs to be replaced, but thats not very expensive. the header/exhaust weld, probably like 50 bucks. so basically, if you have a couple free saturdays, you could have an amazing car. im selling it for 800 OBO. it blue booked when i bought it in november for 2100. i cannot email pictures. but you can come look at it anytime. 1700 lbs, at 168 hp, thats like 1 hp for every 10 lbs. in a drag race, never underestimate 4 bangers, theyr light as a feather and can get up and go. i could beat pretty much any no nos eclipse, just ### i weighed half as much, and camaros and mustangs, unless you put alot of money into them, theyr reeeeaally heavy on the line. WILL CONSIDER TRADES. seriously, i want to get rid of this car, so try me.




Location: roanoke area.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

[my dreamt dsm]

this one kills me

FREE ROOSTER

Has anyone tried to contact the person. I don't have time, would of love to see what THIS BEAST LOOKS LIKE!

 

[EclipticalGS]

808dsm i have to say that chicken transportation brought tears to my eyes. thank you!

 

[EclipticalGS]

best of craigslist > allentown > Dear Neighbor
Originally Posted: Mon, 10 Aug 09:42 EDT

Dear Neighbor

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-08-10, 9:42AM EDT

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Dear Neighbor,

Why do you insist upon mowing your ####ing lawn at 8 AM? At least once a week I wake up to hear your lawnmower revving away right outside my ####ing window. Your whole lawn is shaded by your house and that huge tree, so I have to hear you stall the thing at least 12 times. Here's an idea.... WAIT UNTIL YOUR ####ING LAWN IS DRY BEFORE YOU MOW IT!!!!!!!!! I get home from work at 4 AM only to awaken hours later to the sound of a weedwacker coming from next door. Closing the windows doesn't help. Putting the pillow over my head doesn't work. You could probably hear your mower in space.

Your lawn looks like ass anyway. Why even mow the damn thing? The potted plants you bought in May are still sitting, unplanted of course, in their original resting place, which appears to be a framed horseshoe pit in the center of your yard. There are a couple of oversized, azure synthetic drums out there that accent the always stylish, black rubber indoor/outdoor mats that tastefully adorn your back porch. For the love of God! The place looks like it belongs in Gummo. The only thing missing is a trailer, four screaming brats, a car up on cinder blocks and a couple mangy animals. If I had enough Round-Up, I would turn the thing into a sandlot myself to save you the trouble when you finally come to your senses and make the switch.

I can't stand you. I can't stand your lawnmower. I can't stand your shitty old man tattoo that looks like a vulture from afar. I can't stand the way you push around your stalling lawnmower over your wet grass while wearing Jack Daniels pajama pants at 8 in the morning. The last thing I need to see after four hours of sleep is some random old guy next door mowing his lawn without underwear.

I detest you. If I had a dog, I would let it into your lawn to shit.

 

[EclipticalGS]

best of craigslist > vancouver, BC > We met behind the dumpster at the Husky Station - m4w
Originally Posted: Thu, 30 Jul 09:56 PDT

We met behind the dumpster at the Husky Station - m4w

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-07-30, 9:56AM PDT

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


First of all, I'm sorry for walking in on you like that; Though one of the hazards of relieving yourself in public is the lack of privacy. Maybe next time you could whistle or something so people can't just walk up on you like that.

I thought you were cute from the start. I liked the way your face was scrunched as you tried to force out that last nugget. It was really quite endearing, and I wish I'd had the time to admire you just a little longer.

The way you screamed at me, I can tell you're a confident, self-assured woman that has more experience than her young, softly-soiled skin lets on. I know you can't be much more than 20, but I could swear that you have the maturity of a much, much older woman.

Finally, the way that you used your foot to brush your excrement under the dumpster showed just what a classy, courteous woman you are. Most people wouldn't even take the time or concern to even cover their mess up, let alone move it away. But not you; You're a real lady.

In any case, you can usually find me at the Swiss Chalet between 1 and 3 most days, picking some lunch out of the trash receptacles (all you can eat lunches make for some good pickins.)

Come on by and we'll split a salad (And maybe butter up a breadstick too!)


Location: Abbotsford
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests