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The Official funny stuff on Craigslist thread

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habitatguy187 said:
Lol, did you just post that? That has to be a joke....
Click to expand...

HAHA no i found those on the Baltimore Craigslist after i saw this thread i went on there and found all three of those on the first two pages of cars and trucks for sale. Baltimore has so many illiterate losers trying to sell there junk and posting up irrelevant crap on there. :heystupid:
 
i_nick_2005_i said:
Yep, that's the only reason I posted that one up. That bumper just stumped me. If you were "per se" an idiot street racer and rolled up to that car at a stop-light, checking out the rear bumper and all.....Then the light changes to green and you are still trying to figure it out, as you hear the front tires of "said" car spin, then leave you in dust. I think that's the point. Disorientate your opponent,... go roast your 13 inch wheels as your assailant stares dumbfoudedly at your rear bumper..
Click to expand...

ROFL ahahaha .. that made my day.
 
This thread rocks:hellyeah:
Ya know why? I never noticed the "best of Craigslist" link before. I think that's about the damn funniest thing in the world. I have a 100% fool-proof way to cheer-up myself or anyone else. It's an easier laugh than the onion .com.
Thanks!
BTW: craigslist ads from smaller towns stay up longer than ones from big cities. I live in a town of 100,000. Some of my listings have stayed up for the full 30 days. The ads in Chicago tend to get bumped pretty quick, just for space reasons, I think.
 
For those that are too lazy to click the link:

I SAVED YOUR LIFE THAT NIGHT IN THE CAR ACCIDENT. - m4w - 29 (MIAMI)


IT WAS AROUND 2:30ISH IN THE MORNING I WAS THE ONLY CAR ON THE FREEWAY AND YOUR ECLIPSE CAME OUT OF NO WHERE SPEEDING DOING 90 OR 100 YOU PASSED BY ME ALMOST HITTING MY BLACK BMW LOWERED ON RIMS(YOU MIGHT NOT REMEMBER). YOU HIT THE MIDDLE DIVIDER AND THEN YOU PULLED YOUR CAR TO A HARD RIGHT TO GET OFF THE DIVIDER AND YOUR CAR WENT FLIPPING OVER ATLEAST 10 TIMES AND YOUR CAR WENT OVER THE EMBANKMENT HITTING PARKED CARS IN THE PARKING LOT BELOW.I PULLED MY CAR NEXT TO THE EMBANKMENT AND RAN DOWN THE HILLSIDE TO SAVE YOU.YOUR CAR WAS UPSIDE DOWN PINNED TO A TREE.THEIR WAS SMOKE AND YOUR BACK TIRE WAS STILL SPINNING.(I WAS SCARED) BUT I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE DRIVER SIDE WHERE I PULLED YOU OUT OF THE CAR THAT WAS SMOKING BAD.YOU WERE HURT BLEEEDING FROM YOUR HEAD.I ASKED YOU WAS THEIR ANY ONE ELSE IN THE CAR ?YOU TOLD ME NO.THEN YOU LOOKED UP AT ME VERY BEAUTIFUL YOU SAID"MY BOYFRIEND LEFT ME".AT THAT POINT I SMELT THE BEER ON YOUR BREATHE BADLY I KNEW YOU WERE DRUNK.WHICH PROBABLY SAVED YOUR LIFE THAT NIGHT.I HOLDED YOU IN MY CHEST TIGHTLY I WAS SAYING"YOUR STUPID GIRL" YOU COULD'VE DIED TONITE.EVERRY ONE WAS COMING OUT OF THE APARTMENT COMPLEX WHERE YOU HIT THEIR CARS.I STAYED WITH YOU UNTIL THE AMBULENCE TOOK YOU AWAY.I NEVER GOT YOUR NAME , BUT MINE IS TUDDY.IF YOU EVER READ THIS IF THIS WAS YOU THAT NIGHT THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED ON THE FREEWAY.REACH ME AT MY MYSPACE PAGE.
www.myspace.com/partylinephene1+


He posted pictures of himself too. Lol
 
Originally Posted: Fri, 17 Jul 22:37 PDT

Room above Seedy OB Bar

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-07-17, 10:37PM PDT

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


If the look of peeling plaster and the stench of mold and vomit and urine don't bother you, then this might be exactly what you are looking for. I lived her for six years and only recently had to move out because my new girlfriend is super uptight about all the traffic and noise and chicks knocking on my door looking for a place to crash after drinking themselves into a slutty stupor. I don't know why she cares since she was one of those slutty chicks when I first met her. This place is a friggin freak incubator. Not kidding. Serious.
Whenever you flush the toilet you have to call the bar so they can clear the area on the floor where the water leaks down from the ceiling. There was a stabbing in there one night about 2 years ago because someone thought someone else had thrown a beer at them, but it was just the water from the pipes pouring down on the stupid drunk ####s head.
I do not require you to be drug free, you can have any number of people living with you, you can punch holes in the wall and throw furniture out the window.... I really don't mind. You don't have to do housework or give me blowjobs. You don't have to have a job or proof of income to qualify. I can tell if I can trust you just by smelling your underwear.
Paying rent is the only thing that you have to do. Serious. The minute I even think you are going to stiff me on the rent you will suffer more pain than you could ever imagine. I don't care how you get the money, just as long as you have it not more later than the 3rd of every month.
I can't tell you the name of the bar because if you know where it is then you probably have crashed out here or been to one of the many impromptu orgies that have been here. If I know who you are then I probably don't want to rent the place to you.
I know a set up when I smell one, so don't get any stupid ideas. I'm not stupid, but I had a stroke and I talk like I'm stupid. Too much alcohol and drugs. But it's been fun.
No one has ever completely died in this apartment, but the police and fire department make courtesy checks regularly in case anyone needs a trip to the hospital.
Obviously this place is not for square johns.

Abbot Street at Brighton Ave (google map) (yahoo map)
cats are OK - purrr
dogs are OK - wooof
Location: Ocean Beach
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1275894215
 
BoostedinSoFla said:
For those that are too lazy to click the link:

I SAVED YOUR LIFE THAT NIGHT IN THE CAR ACCIDENT. - m4w - 29 (MIAMI)


IT WAS AROUND 2:30ISH IN THE MORNING I WAS THE ONLY CAR ON THE FREEWAY AND YOUR ECLIPSE CAME OUT OF NO WHERE SPEEDING DOING 90 OR 100 YOU PASSED BY ME ALMOST HITTING MY BLACK BMW LOWERED ON RIMS(YOU MIGHT NOT REMEMBER). YOU HIT THE MIDDLE DIVIDER AND THEN YOU PULLED YOUR CAR TO A HARD RIGHT TO GET OFF THE DIVIDER AND YOUR CAR WENT FLIPPING OVER ATLEAST 10 TIMES AND YOUR CAR WENT OVER THE EMBANKMENT HITTING PARKED CARS IN THE PARKING LOT BELOW.I PULLED MY CAR NEXT TO THE EMBANKMENT AND RAN DOWN THE HILLSIDE TO SAVE YOU.YOUR CAR WAS UPSIDE DOWN PINNED TO A TREE.THEIR WAS SMOKE AND YOUR BACK TIRE WAS STILL SPINNING.(I WAS SCARED) BUT I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE DRIVER SIDE WHERE I PULLED YOU OUT OF THE CAR THAT WAS SMOKING BAD.YOU WERE HURT BLEEEDING FROM YOUR HEAD.I ASKED YOU WAS THEIR ANY ONE ELSE IN THE CAR ?YOU TOLD ME NO.THEN YOU LOOKED UP AT ME VERY BEAUTIFUL YOU SAID"MY BOYFRIEND LEFT ME".AT THAT POINT I SMELT THE BEER ON YOUR BREATHE BADLY I KNEW YOU WERE DRUNK.WHICH PROBABLY SAVED YOUR LIFE THAT NIGHT.I HOLDED YOU IN MY CHEST TIGHTLY I WAS SAYING"YOUR STUPID GIRL" YOU COULD'VE DIED TONITE.EVERRY ONE WAS COMING OUT OF THE APARTMENT COMPLEX WHERE YOU HIT THEIR CARS.I STAYED WITH YOU UNTIL THE AMBULENCE TOOK YOU AWAY.I NEVER GOT YOUR NAME , BUT MINE IS TUDDY.IF YOU EVER READ THIS IF THIS WAS YOU THAT NIGHT THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED ON THE FREEWAY.REACH ME AT MY MYSPACE PAGE.
www.myspace.com/partylinephene1+
Click to expand...

Dude are you serious? How beautiful could she have really been while drunk and bleeding from her head? WTF

Oh and the pics....:tease:gayest thing ever...
 
Evo_This said:
Wow LMFAO!!
These are the funniest posts I've ever seen! How do you find these?
Click to expand...

Go to whatever your local craigslist main page is. On the main menu, on the left edge of the screen, w/ the FAQs and such, click on best-of-craigslist. It's under the calender.
best-of-craigslist
Or maybe my link will work
 
BoostedinSoFla said:
For those that are too lazy to click the link:

I SAVED YOUR LIFE THAT NIGHT IN THE CAR ACCIDENT. - m4w - 29 (MIAMI)


IT WAS AROUND 2:30ISH IN THE MORNING I WAS THE ONLY CAR ON THE FREEWAY AND YOUR ECLIPSE CAME OUT OF NO WHERE SPEEDING DOING 90 OR 100 YOU PASSED BY ME ALMOST HITTING MY BLACK BMW LOWERED ON RIMS(YOU MIGHT NOT REMEMBER). YOU HIT THE MIDDLE DIVIDER AND THEN YOU PULLED YOUR CAR TO A HARD RIGHT TO GET OFF THE DIVIDER AND YOUR CAR WENT FLIPPING OVER ATLEAST 10 TIMES AND YOUR CAR WENT OVER THE EMBANKMENT HITTING PARKED CARS IN THE PARKING LOT BELOW.I PULLED MY CAR NEXT TO THE EMBANKMENT AND RAN DOWN THE HILLSIDE TO SAVE YOU.YOUR CAR WAS UPSIDE DOWN PINNED TO A TREE.THEIR WAS SMOKE AND YOUR BACK TIRE WAS STILL SPINNING.(I WAS SCARED) BUT I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE DRIVER SIDE WHERE I PULLED YOU OUT OF THE CAR THAT WAS SMOKING BAD.YOU WERE HURT BLEEEDING FROM YOUR HEAD.I ASKED YOU WAS THEIR ANY ONE ELSE IN THE CAR ?YOU TOLD ME NO.THEN YOU LOOKED UP AT ME VERY BEAUTIFUL YOU SAID"MY BOYFRIEND LEFT ME".AT THAT POINT I SMELT THE BEER ON YOUR BREATHE BADLY I KNEW YOU WERE DRUNK.WHICH PROBABLY SAVED YOUR LIFE THAT NIGHT.I HOLDED YOU IN MY CHEST TIGHTLY I WAS SAYING"YOUR STUPID GIRL" YOU COULD'VE DIED TONITE.EVERRY ONE WAS COMING OUT OF THE APARTMENT COMPLEX WHERE YOU HIT THEIR CARS.I STAYED WITH YOU UNTIL THE AMBULENCE TOOK YOU AWAY.I NEVER GOT YOUR NAME , BUT MINE IS TUDDY.IF YOU EVER READ THIS IF THIS WAS YOU THAT NIGHT THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED ON THE FREEWAY.REACH ME AT MY MYSPACE PAGE.
www.myspace.com/partylinephene1+


He posted pictures of himself too. Lol
Click to expand...


ROFL Wow... just wow
 
I thinks to keep this thread going we have to copy and paste their post. Also added a link for future laughs:D Since their post will be probably flag or deleted.
 
More...best of craigslist > houston > i need help moving my chickens
Originally Posted: Sun, 26 Jul 23:04 CDT

i need help moving my chickens

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-07-26, 11:04PM CDT

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I have approximately 1,243 chickens that need to be transported, i began my journey with my mini van but just was not working out, too many trips and too much shit and feathers, and with no ac it makes it very difficult when constantly tempted to roll the windows down, and because doing it all by hand i have lost 1 out of 4 chickens with my first 3 trips. if you have reasonable transportation for this chicken operation ### let me know. thank you.

-Matt
 
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