The Official funny stuff on Craigslist thread

[XiKeiyaZI]

best of craigslist: IN A WELL, NEED LADDER


best of craigslist > philadelphia > IN A WELL, NEED LADDER
Originally Posted: Fri, 11 Sep 16:13 EDT

IN A WELL, NEED LADDER

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Date: 2009-09-11, 4:13PM EDT

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I'm offering a reward for the first person who shows up with at least a 25 foot ladder to the well off of rt. 322 and Sugarsbridge Rd. My friends won't come because they think i'm joking. I'm definitely NOT... I have water but have not eaten in two days.

Reward is negotiable depending on how quickly you get here. And FYI to the kid that threw rocks down the well at me yesterday evening, I'm going to find you and do terrible thing to you.


•Location: phila burbs
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
•Compensation: neg. depends on response time
PostingID: 1369705084

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best of craigslist > lincoln > I lost your number - m4w
Originally Posted: Mon, 24 Aug 13:19 CDT

I lost your number - m4w

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Date: 2009-08-24, 1:19PM CDT

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hey, I don't wanna plaster your name all over here, so I'll just use your initials. JS, I lost your number and would really like to get a hold of you. I hope you check this part of craigslist, I know you use CL b/c that's how we met. to refresh and so you're sure of who I am and that I'm talking about you. I met you off of CL for some FWB actions. We had a wild first night. It just got crazier from there, we helped each other broaden our horizons. We tried outdoor stuff a lot of role play (you love the rough stuff) that one night that we didn't have a condom we should have refrained. You missed your period and I talked you into getting rid of it. You were a little mad at yourself, and yes, me too.

But anyways, I'd really like to get back in touch. You still owe me 75 bucks for your half of the procedure, plus we could probably fool around some more.


•Location: lincoln
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1339854518

Both of those sound like things I'd make a post about. xD

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

1997 head turning custom eclipse

xDDD They're so enthusiastic!!

 

[Chaosweaver]

1997 head turning custom eclipse

xDDD They're so enthusiastic!!

You'd buy it.

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

You'd buy it.

Pffft...

I hate 'Butterfly' Doors.

And the Interior is so rice.

 

[laserspeeddemon]

I guess this really shouldn't count, since it's my ad, but....
Ninja for Hire

Have a pesky stalker? Neighbors dog barking too much? Thugs causing mischief in your subdivision? Hot chicks won't date you?

Well fear not citizens of Fredericksburg, for I have arrived. I am a ninja and business has been kind of slow with the recent decline of the the nation's economy. So I am offering my services for hire. With a expertise in elusive intrusion, I can get the job done without anyone knowing that a job was done, including clients. I am certified with the NKA (Ninjas Kick Association) and a member of the SSNOTNKA (Super Secret Ninja Organization That Nobody Knows About) and the International Ninjutsu Society.

I trained under Sarutobi Sasuke and got my degree in Invisibility with a minor in International Death Touches. Now, I know this means that I would have to be over 400 years old, but with as an expert in eluding, I not only elude my enemies, but death and time itself. I actually just went back 1541 to train with Sasuke. With 11 years experience in hand to hand combat including assassinations of crime family syndicate bosses and corrupt politicians to stealing candy from little kids. No job is too big or too small.

I can teleport your stalker to another country, throat chop your neighbors dog, striker fear in the heart of thugs and make hot girls like you. OK, maybe the last one is a little much, but I can definitely get hot chicks to like me.

So email me with any of your Ninja Services. With reasonable rates of 7,00 yen an hour and I am affordable and effective.


**edit** I was just recently informed that my membership at SSNOTNKA had been revoked.... wonder why?

* Location: Fredericksburg, VA
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
*
* License info: 2kill



PostingID: 1695301670

1997 head turning custom eclipse

xDDD They're so enthusiastic!!

I would only turn my head, so I wouldn't vomit on the front of my shirt.

 

[thatblondechik]

NO LOWBALL OFFERS - Price Firm.

I've owned this show car for about 7 years and have invested a ton of money/time. It has been garage kept since its purchase in 2002 and hasn't seen rain since 2006.

I am selling this because I am in the process of buying a house and would love to use this money as a down payment.

Exterior: BMW M3 front end conversion, Custom cal induction hood made from s-10, Wide body + 4in fender flares, Body kit, side skirts, door handles, moldings ALL SHAVED, Wheel wells have been tubbed to fit 20in rims and also lay body. No rubbing. Skyline R34 rear end conversion with molder tail lights and custom trunk lid. Street beat , customs rag top 34x40 (Black), Rear disc brake conversion, House of Kolors True Blue Sunset Pearlescent, House of Kolors Ice Crystal Blue/Silver Pearl flake, 2 Midcoats 3 Coats of Clear., Cut and buffer to perfection., Custom pin striping., Autoloc Flip Flop trunk kit, Vertical doors lambo kit

Interior:
Nismo gray/blue racing seats/belts , Electric blue molded carpet , Gray/blue tweed interior with many custom accessories , Kenwood touch screen , AC Controls relocated to glove box , Flush mount Farenheight 7.2 TV behind dash , 2 Farenheight Visor TV's 5.6, Triple gauge pod up A Pillar , Glow shift gauges wideband O2, Boost gauge, Vacuum, , Air ride gauges and voltage mounted in front of passenger airbag , Custom Steering wheel hub from Nissan maxima and Gray and Blue steering wheel. , All interior pieces are painted to match exterior.

Engine
New: OBX racing headers With Downpipe MagnaFlow 3 way Catalytic Converter O2 Sensor's Relocated for optimal performance O2 sensors Knock Sensor Radiator Valve cover gasket Intake Manifold gasket Front and rear main seal Oil Pan and gasket Transmission Rebuilt 3,000 miles ago Transmission Pan and gasket Drive Axels Front and Rear drilled and slotted Rotors Upgraded brake calibers and pads New E-brake and cable Custom Catback exhaust 2.75" with powertech exhaust New Belts and pulley New pulley seals New Alternator Water pump Plugs/Wires Walboro racing Fuel Pump 255LPH Nismo Fuel Pressure Regulator New Injectors and Rail New MAF

Many Extras.... RUNS LIKE A DREAM!!!!

Suspension
Suicide doors air management system 8 - 1/2 valves Front Back Side to Side Fast bag setup front and rear Chassis tech bags and struts. 3 extra replacement bags will be given with vehicle. 5 gallon tank Chrome Viair 450 Compressor Water Trap 10 button switchbox Smoked black

Wheels
20" Triple dipped chrome rims with brand new 215/35ZR20 tires. Only have about 300 miles on the rims tires.

Audio
2-12in Audiobahn flaming Q's with custom flaming Q amp. Custom trunk 2.5 Farad digital capacitor Pioneer 5 way interior speakers Audiobahn hct2150 amplifier - Painted to match exterior

Awards
Wins massive amounts of trophies. 2 best of show awards, several best import awards, and 50 1st/2nd Best Nissan awards. Has been in StreetTrenz magazine twice as coverage from shows.

 

[thatblondechik]

i have an awesome blue 1997 custom eclipse automatic sunroof power everything it has the 2.0 DOHC this car is a head turner, for the outside of the car it has a new blue paintjob,new tires,blue and chrome urban racing 17"s,evo body kit all the way around,carbon fiber evo hood,halo l.e.d projector headlights,carbon fiber euro taillights,blue l.e.d. underglow and did i forget BUTTERFLY DOORS! for the interior it has a custom blue and black interior with a carbon fiber headliner,carbon fiber door seals,blue l.e.d glow under the dash on both sides,racing seats,ractive 5 point seat belts,i just put a brand new system in the car professionally installed at car-fi in springfield has 2-kenwood 12's in a rhino lined box,kenwood 1800 watt class D mono amp,stinger 1 farad power capacitor and a kenwood excelon cd/mp3 player with usb and ipod aux port,custom leather back seats,and blue carpet! For underneath the hood it has a injen cold air intake,strut bar,greddy headers with a greddy full exhaust system(sounds amazing) has new timing belt,new radiator,new thermostat and a md motorsports performance chip... i am asking $6500 obo for this car or trade for a newer chevy truck...you can take it to any carshow or sound compeition and blow the compeition outta the water..serious inquires only no lowballers or joy riders,if interested txt or call me at 1-417-259-0656 or email me on here thanks for looking

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

i have an awesome blue 1997 custom eclipse automatic sunroof power everything it has the 2.0 DOHC this car is a head turner, for the outside of the car it has a new blue paintjob,new tires,blue and chrome urban racing 17"s,evo body kit all the way around,carbon fiber evo hood,halo l.e.d projector headlights,carbon fiber euro taillights,blue l.e.d. underglow and did i forget BUTTERFLY DOORS! for the interior it has a custom blue and black interior with a carbon fiber headliner,carbon fiber door seals,blue l.e.d glow under the dash on both sides,racing seats,ractive 5 point seat belts,i just put a brand new system in the car professionally installed at car-fi in springfield has 2-kenwood 12's in a rhino lined box,kenwood 1800 watt class D mono amp,stinger 1 farad power capacitor and a kenwood excelon cd/mp3 player with usb and ipod aux port,custom leather back seats,and blue carpet! For underneath the hood it has a injen cold air intake,strut bar,greddy headers with a greddy full exhaust system(sounds amazing) has new timing belt,new radiator,new thermostat and a md motorsports performance chip... i am asking $6500 obo for this car or trade for a newer chevy truck...you can take it to any carshow or sound compeition and blow the compeition outta the water..serious inquires only no lowballers or joy riders,if interested txt or call me at 1-417-259-0656 or email me on here thanks for looking

xD Thanks for posting the entire post and pics of the link I posted!

;P

 

[badas93tsi]

1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse/ custom $3400 or B/O

This thing is SWEET!

 

[Chaosweaver]

That Eclipse looks so fast...

















And furious...

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

That Eclipse looks so fast...

















And furious...

No, it's Furious and Fast.... cause you can't beat that with a Baseball bat (Whoooaaa!!)

xD

 

[Goettler]

Everyone you might as well lock this thread because there is no topping what I found today. I walked into my local E-85 gas station and while I was waiting in line I picked up the newest issue of the Deals On Wheels catalog. I noticed something on the cover that caught my eye, a green dsm with chrome wheels. After doing a quick double take I realized the price of this thing was $87,177!!!!! WTF and claiming it had 500hp.

Check it out, theres even a number to call if you want to humor yourselfs. The guy lives up in PA so for those of you up in Pennsylvania theres a sweet deal on a 500hp GS-T.

1996 MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE GS-T - 1996 ECLIPSE GS-T - 00628252202

I think I've seen this car on dsmtuners and it might actually have 500hp, but honestly someone paying over $20000 for a '96 GS-T with over 1,000hp is pushing it.

Since one day the ad will disappear...

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

1996 MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE GS-T, {2010 WORLD OF WHEELS SHOWWINNER}winner of Outstanding Sport Compact Import Tuner atWorld of Wheels Pittsburgh Event, signed by celebrity HenryWinkler The Fonz, 2.0 4G63 turbo 500+hp, fully restored,custom blt street/show car, asking $87,177, 724-872-0725.-SG Ruffsdale, PA 15679

I've seen this thing a few times, and it looks like its never been driven on the road, I'd love to see the tune it has. haha

Really not my style either, and FWD?

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

I've seen this thing a few times, and it looks like its never been driven on the road, I'd love to see the tune it has. haha

Really not my style either, and FWD?

Someone should buy this thing... find a nice pole.. take a picture of the car, then the pole... then the car slammed INTO the pole.. and send it back to the guy and lable it.

" Winner of the 2010 'HIT THAT POLE!' Award. "

 

[thatblondechik]

This is a 95 eclipse with custom paint , its burnt orange with tribal flames , roof scoop,Full body kit, frond bumper and side skirts are urethane and the rear bumper is fiberglass. newer eclipse wheels, a big rear spoiler, JBL component system and CD player , already wired for a stereo system. The guy who had it before me cut the springs to lower it , so its a pretty bouncy ride.I just put another motor in it and the motor has around 90,000 miles on it, it runs great, it has some dents in the hood and front passenger side fender, but can easily be fixed. car looks and runs great

 

[Chaosweaver]

^^^ Agreed.


The guy must be on crack if he thinks he'll get more than 8k for it, maybe 12k if a big enough idiot shows up to buy it . I mean, who here really cares if the fonz signed it or not?

 

[Neezer]

2000 mirage evo clone

 

[Chaosweaver]

I'd buy it just for the purple rims and intercooler...

 

[Lofty]

You know that the older evos were built off of the Mirage chassis right? If I'm not mistaken it's almost a damn near exact bolt up.

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

I'd buy the Miragshuevo.

I don't like the paint but still.

 

[808DSM]

You know that the older evos were built off of the Mirage chassis right? If I'm not mistaken it's almost a damn near exact bolt up.

You must be logged in to view this image or video.

I'd buy the Miragshuevo.

I don't like the paint but still.

Good with converting it to a AWD w/4G63T and making it Right hand drive.

 

[Neezer]

You know that the older evos were built off of the Mirage chassis right? If I'm not mistaken it's almost a damn near exact bolt up.

Hmmm I did not know that, just thought it was a butchered car.

 

[Lofty]

Good with converting it to a AWD w/4G63T and making it Right hand drive.

Lilevo.com

This is his car.

His old mirage was AWD 4g63.

He's local.

You sound ignorant.

 

[keviebaby]

Mitsubishi eclipse (body kit & more)

2000 MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE GS AUTOMATIC/TITRONIC

99xxx MILES
VIPER AUTOSTART 2000 Mitsubishi Eclipse Performance - 2,350 cc 2.4 liters 4 in-line front engine with 86.5 mm bore, 100 mm stroke, 9 compression ratio, overhead cam and four valves per cylinder - Unleaded fuel - Fuel economy EPA highway (l/100km): 7.6 - Multi-point injection fuel system - Main 62 liter unleaded fuel tank - Power: SAE and 115 kW , 154 HP @ 5,500 rpm; 163 ft lb , 201 Nm @ 4,000 rpm 2000 Mitsubishi Eclipse Handling - Two disc brakes including two ventilated discs - Immobilizer - Spacesaver steel rim internal spare wheel - Strut front suspension with stabilizer bar independent with coil springs , multi-link rear suspension independent with coil springs 2000 Mitsubishi Eclipse Exterior - Coefficient of drag: 0.3 - Driver and passenger internally adjustable black door mirrors - External dimensions: overall length (mm): 4,455, overall width (mm): 1,750, overall height (mm): 1,311, wheelbase (mm): 2,560, front track (mm): 1,509, rear track (mm): 1,509 and curb to curb turning circle (mm): 11,125 - Complex surface lens halogen bulb headlights - Black paint , gloss paint , pearl paint - Rear window - Front spoiler - Tinted glass on cabin - Weights: curb weight (kg) 1,280 - Windshield wipers with variable intermittent wipe 2000 Mitsubishi Eclipse Interior - Air conditioning - Fixed mast antenna - Front ashtray - Manufacturer's own audio system - Cargo capacity: - Front seats cigar lighter - Floor full console with open storage box - Courtesy lights - Front seats cup holders - Door ajar warning - Driver and passenger front airbag - Sports seat , sports seat - 3-point reel height adjustable front seat belts on driver seat and passenger seat - Height adjustable two head restraints on front seats - Headlight control with time delay switch-off - Illuminated entry system - Internal dimensions: front headroom (mm): 963, rear headroom (mm): 886, front hip room (mm): 1,318, rear hip room (mm): 1,135, front leg room (mm): 1,074, rear leg room (mm): 767, front shoulder room (mm): 1,334 and rear shoulder room (mm): 1,321 - Low fuel level warning - Memorized adjustment - Key power locks - Power steering - Front power windows with one one-touch - Front reading lights - 3-point reel rear seat belts on driver side and passenger side - Bench two rear seats - Rear view mirror - Remote fuel filler door release - Mechanical remote trunk/hatch release - Cloth seat upholstery - Seating: four seats - Four speakers - Plastic steering wheel - Tachometer - Driver and passenger vanity mirror - Ventilation system with recirculation setting
EXTRA : New Neon Under Car Lights Exterior Kit BLUE + Remotes,
NEW FRONT BUMPER, NEW AIR COLD INTAKE,
NEW NEON BLUE GAUGE ++++( NOT INSTALL )++++

Gotta see the pics on the link, is it wrong to say the dragon on the sides look.... ricey? This car's got it all though, a place to store your spare tire, a rear view mirror.... everything.

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

2000 MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE GT ( Modified ) taking best offer

Contact... Jesus?



2000 MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE GT ( Modified )

901-205-8603 jesus

PRICE IS NEGOTIABLE, I ALSO ACCEPT TRADES ( looking for something bigger like: SUV , TRUCK ) has to be year 2000 or newer. , if interested in trading email me pictures.. at: [email protected]

modifications: lambo doors, complete body kit ( side skirts,front & rear bumper )

Halogen bulbs

INJEN air intake

type x racing seat from lite-glow

oil pressure gauge

custom rims

all four tires in almost new condition ( used for 4 months )

it also has preinstalled a remote start alarm . i will give you the rest of the components for completing the installation..

Has: 96k miles

Runs and drives good

Sun roof.......

dashboard light changes from blue to green..

2 Pioneer oval speakers

Engine #: 3.0

It also has the muffler modified to make that famous racing sound ..

Automatic transmission

for the right price I will be including a 1400 watt amplifier & 1200 watt 12" subwoofer ( not included with the car )

Clean tittle in hand , on my name.

It all started as my project car.. I did my best on the exterior and engine , also the interior , I just dont have the time and the money to continue customizing the interior, all I did was the : racing seat and pedals...

everything works on it , AC & heater they both work.. the only thing that doesnt work is the window elevator for the passenger side ( you can get it from the junk yard for $30.00 at the most..

I uploaded a video of my car to YOUTUBE , HERE IS THE LINK: YouTube - 2000 Mitsubishi Eclipse GT Modified

 

[laserspeeddemon]

Funny how that 2000 Eclipse GT Turbo shows the engine bay for like 8 seconds of the 2 minute video, none of which shows a turbo.

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

Funny how that 2000 Eclipse GT Turbo shows the engine bay for like 8 seconds of the 2 minute video, none of which shows a turbo.

Yeah.. I was looking for that.

It was the video's effects that made me laugh. xD