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Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

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A kid that dated my sister in-law always had something smart to say about my car everytime I saw him, mind you he didn't have a car or even a licsence. I called him out on that one day and he then started telling me that he was about to buy a 2000 gs-gt twin turbo eclipse AWD that was 100% factory with around 42k on it, and when he got it he wanted to run for slips
 
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I was telling a kid that i had a gst and just got a gsx. He was like "aww that sucks but even though the gsx isnt turbo just put the gst turbo on it, that should work for you"
 
Guy at advance auto told me their octane booster gave him a extra 75hp so he puts it in his camaro everyday, i just shook my head. Then tried to sell me some and says if you wanna beat me i should buy a few bottles. Oh......i'm not done yet it gets better, The ALL MIGHTY SEAFOAM 2012 bottle just came on the trucks fixes headgaskets too DUDE! OMG Best product YET!

*sigh* I just listened and congratulated him on his awesome horsepower (500+) and never been to a dyno........... Must be nice living in that fantasy world.....
 
Well, I'm not sure who the dummy was here, probably both of us.

Anyway, at the gas station a couple days ago I just popped my hood while filling up to check my oil. A nice middle-aged gentleman walked over and greeted me, asking me if I've ever put a fuel pump in "one of these." After I told him yes:

Him: "Oh does it just up and stop working when it goes bad then?"

Me: "Well it'll gradually lose pressure.. sometimes it's just out of nowhere though. Which model do you have?" (I was going to offer to help him if it was a 4G63)

Him: "It's a 92 GTS."

Me: "Er.. do you mean GST?"

Him: "No GTS. It's got the 2200 with 16 valves."

Me: "Oh sorry, I don't know much about those cars."

We parted ways and I was telling my girlfriend about it, I get maybe a few miles down the road and then it hit me.

DID HE THINK MY CAR WAS A ####ING CELICA?
 
Went to autozone a few days back to check some prices..

me "i need a timing belt for a '97 eclipse gst"

guy: "cool, i used to have one, is it the turbo one?"

me "uh yes, the gst......turbo"

guy " is it stock or aftermarket"

me "its pretty much all stock aside for an intake and exhuast, just a daily driver"

guy "ok good, i wouldnt reccomend a timing belt from here...my awd 420a had just about 875hp and i snapped two belts i put on from here"

:rolleyes: im going to call bullshit (<-hope i can say that) for two reasons. One, I would never put a autozone timimg belt on a 875 hp car let alone two of them, and two, this is also the kid who used to drive a blue, turbo vw beetle (new stlye)
 
That1Talon said:
So sunday i head to walmart..... i pull up at the turn light and have my music going in my own little world until i notice this little white toyota pullin up real slow next to me i look over and this kid who looks about 16 with i guess his girlfriend in the car is just smiling and keeps pulin closer to the light while looking at me so light turns green and i turn and get on it just a little......... i park my car and start heading into walmart and i see the kid walking up to me and this is the conversation that followed
Me- its a toyota be serious
Him- what kind of car is that i have never seen one before
Me- (laughs) its a eagle talon basically a mitsubishi eclipse your toyota doesnt want none
Him- oh you wanna race (scared look on his face being tough for his girlfriend)... you got any motor work done
Me- (walks away laughing little does he know its a bone stock n/t)
Click to expand...


He would have probably walked you to be honest.
 
There is this kid I know that always makes fun of me because I drive a 93 civic hatch with a gsr engine in it with an AEM CAI, DC header, Full exhaust system.
He drives an old talon. There is nothing special about it, I have never seen under the hood, but he has a huge radiator sticking out of his front bumper, like that gives him more HP... what a ricer LOL. There is also something wrong with his car, every time he shifts it makes a funny sound... like if the car was sneezing.
Anyways, I saw him at the local track and I told him his junk did have nothing on my gsr swapped hatch and I would completely annihilate him.
We line up, the light went green and he instantly pulled 3 cars on me. I argued with the track officials that he jumped off the line, the is no way he could have taken me off the line, but they said everything was legit. He ran a 12.4 and I ran a 15.8.
I just don't get it, how could my gsr swapped hatch lose to an inferior old car such as a talon? any tips on how I could beat him?
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ROFLROFLROFL OMG Wow.
 
Guy with 1990 integra gs states:

"Yeah when i get my turbo kit, am gonna put ice water into the intercooler so when i hit my purge valve it will blow out steam.".

Me: oohhhkkkkayyy..????
 
awdcsm said:
Guy with 1990 integra gs states:

"Yeah when i get my turbo kit, am gonna put ice water into the intercooler so when i hit my purge valve it will blow out steam.".

Me: oohhhkkkkayyy..????
Click to expand...

very nice, maybe add some "LEDs" to it too
 
I don't claim to know a whole lot about my car yet. I'll rattle off facts if I know them, but when I don't I stop. For cryin' out loud, if you don't know, stop (or ask). It makes you look eager and curious rather than retarded!

I did have a guy that came up to me at the gas station one morning. He seemed so intent that they never made Eclipses with l4s. Only the V6.
 
Went to a local car meet last year with my RS (back then I only had an intake and exhaust on stock wheels still no other mods but it looks better, plus it was the only DSM I owned at the time) Honda guy comes up

Honda: :tease: hehe wheres your turbo?
me: don't have one, its the nonturbo
honda: well then why are you here? trubo car or gtfo
me: what do you drive?
Honda: civic with an h22 swap and turbo
me: care to pop your hood?
honda: nah I don't show it off
me: yea because you didn't do any of that I bet its stock :rolleyes:

later that night a pretty sweet looking 2g GST parks next to me

me: hey man nice DSM!
guy: DS.. what?
me: nothing, is that a turbo eclipse?
him: yea just traded my MR2 for it and couldnt drive stick I've had to change the clutch twice since I got it (it was only 2 weeks)
me: WTF well why'd you buy it if you couldn't drive it?
him: ### theyre mad tight yo
me: yea they're pretty sick cars
him: so what do you have?
me: non turbo with a few bolt ons
him: you should do the 4g63 swap, they're so much nicer
me: ROFL yea.... I gotta get going

needless to say I never went back...

Then I had a redneck kid in class last semester try and tell me the Talons came twin turboed and all wheel steering and he knows because his dad works in a junkyard... I tired telling him otherwise, but he didn't listen.
effing morons.
 
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Incoltnito said:
Seriously....a guy joins that sight, starts his first post on a topic like that on a premise which will obviously rile up Honda tuners......nobody notices that? Hard to deny that guy was being a troll...hahahahah!!!
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Either that guy was a dsm'r who was really trying to make the honda kids look bad, or it was some kid trying to talk smack. One thing I will say though the honda boys didn't talk trash, actually they did a lot of complementing and boasting of the 4g63 as if it was the ultimate motor to swap into a honda. That did surprise me.
 
You know, i was thinking the same thing. Not a negative thing said about the 63 from a group of honda owners... kinda fishy. I guess its just the whole "race day" mentality that makes them talk smack. That, or they know that the 63 will walk their jdm swap any day. :thumb:
 
My GSR swapped EF ran faster than I ever did in my AWD TSi in the 1/8th. That was on shitty all seasons. And not even knowing how to launch a FWD car... I think that Honda was faster than my Talon. But I owned them 2 years apart and was probably a better driver with the Honda. My Mustang is slower than both though.
 
not a dsm story but it all started when he ask me about my car. here we go.
him: nice car is it tuboed?
me: yeah..
him is it fast
me: never tried pushing it yet, just daily driver and a project at the same time.
him: I can smoke you with my 93 integra turboed
me: turboed? nice how much psi you running on it?
him: huh? what do you mean?
me: well you turboed your car, you should be worried or concerned about how much you boosting?
him: oh! i dont know.. (then he ask me how much am I boosting)
me: 15-16 but I can push it to 19 but not safe for my mods.
him: I think I'm pushing at least 20-25..
me: wow you sure? ( at this point I know hes bsing, so I told him straight up. your lying, I believe you have an integra but not turboed ).
him: i swear to god its turboed with stage 3 clutch. let me see if i have a pic on my phone. ( this time he's searching on his phone) man I thought I have the pictures..
me: LOL... you lying bastard ( then he ask me if I know anything about integra. note I own an integra before I move to dsm world).
--so I asked him what kinda motor he got--
him: I dont know, all i know its a 4 cylinder.
me: ROFL hard this time.. then I said is it b16, b18, or b20? then I ask what model?
him: What do you mean, it's an Integra coupe.
me: ( this time I kinda felt bad for the guy, he's caught that hes lying but he never give up) so I told him if its LS, GS, RS, GSR or Type R.
him: oh! that then he look at his phone, 4 mins later he came back and told me its a GSR.
-- it's getting too long lets get to the point---
him: I purchased the car for $2200 and spent all together with $12000. new engine, transmission with stage 3 clutch and turbo. and he said the turbo is geddy not greddy. and before he joined the Marine Corps he sold the car for $2500.
me: you kidding me, you spent $12000 and sold the car for 2500? so every time I see him I always asked about his 93 turboed integra, and make fun of him.
 
Not so dumb but got me laughing:

Someone asked my friend: What type of exhaust you have? Cat Back?
Him: No, its a Turbo-Backed.

He bought a 98GST Spyder, lightly modded, but dosent know much about it even tho he reps DSM all day. haha.
 
Well, where to begin? I manage a AutoPart's store in the middle of a city and being the age I am 21 years of age. Seasonal people really do NOT like me to much, when they realize who they need to talk too, if a problem has arose. Now I am NOT the type of young adult to disrespect anyone for any reason and I will work with you, in anyway possible with my power. Fast forward to yesterday, A older gentleman comes up in a clean GST Spyder, comes in and mean while I was checking a CEL outside. I started looking at the car, and he came out and the following REALLY happened;

Me: Nice spyder! What is under the hood? Him; Nothing much, just a few bolt-ons. Me: Thinking to myself, "Well, this guy is pretty cool, let's see where this goes, Pop your hood open and let's see. Him; opens hood, See, nothing much,...How much boost are you running in this thing? Him; I don't know maybe like 21-23 psi. Me; Wow, that's a little high, for stock...don't you think? Him; Nah, I plan to raise it some more later besides these things came out of the factory holding more than that...WTF Me; I killed it there and walk in.....saying, Call me, when you post it on Craigslist! LOL
 
I was in my auto class finishing up my 420a N/T swap and the night class students started to fill in. One had the courage to walk over, and here is the conversation:

Him: *looks in the engine bay "I'm, sorry."

Me: Sorry about what?

Him: I'm sorry your turbo blew the pistons through the block.

Me: I'm going to give you one more chance to find the turbo.....

Him: *points to cold air intake*

Me: *Walks away laughing*
 
sayaovang dsm said:
I heard it was a dsm guy who posted this in that forums, but wow i have a new respect for those honda guys now, never knew htey had a heart like this... i think im gonna cry haha :cry:
Click to expand...

That was so awesome. It was like a car accident in slow motion. You knew you couldn't stop it and could only watch. I think it was either a dumbass or the most clever and well thought out forum prank I have ever seen.
 
TSIturbo91 said:
That was so awesome. It was like a car accident in slow motion. You knew you couldn't stop it and could only watch. I think it was either a dumbass or the most clever and well thought out forum prank I have ever seen.
Click to expand...

I seriously have a new found respect for these honda guys man, some idd bash on it but man alot of them were praising our cars saying they wouldnt stand a chance against us if we were both modded, man im still not a huge honda fan but now i know some of them are cool, i might grab a daily driver accord now haha, :thumb:
 
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