Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[thatblondechik]

"Um... The center diffs are pure mechanical. How do you program a mechanical diff?"

Like this!
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Hang on...it just takes a min
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For real, just hang on.
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Errr...I think it's...
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I musta missed 7th gear. It's just a bad tune, I'll get it next time.

 

[Chaosweaver]

Like this!
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Hang on...it just takes a min
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For real, just hang on.
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Errr...I think it's...
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I musta missed 7th gear. It's just a bad tune, I'll get it next time.

How could you miss 7th?! That's the one that tops you out at 140MPH before you hit the NOS.

 

[nothingfiction]

How could you miss 7th?! That's the one that tops you out at 140MPH before you hit the NOS.

i think i need to order the bigclutch upgrade because mine only goes to 5th i think the previous owner stripped the ^$*@ out of 6th and 7th gears

 

[HareyCarey]

This was a conversation between me and 4 guys from MAINTENANCE at my work (I work in a stainless steel pipe facility, most of these guys build domestics religiously.)
Maint.: Okay, well what stage turbo does your car have?
Me: They don't come in stages, they come in sizes or trims really e.g. 14b, 16g, 50 trim, etc...
Maint: No, they ALL come in stages

Another conversation later that day
Me: (cutting to the funny part)..So, John Shepherd ran a 7.xx in a Talon AWD and it had blah blah
Maint.: That's bull ish, imports can't run lower than 11s without slicks, no car can...and certainly not street legal!
Me:......(walks away quietly, shaking head)

 

[DSM nOOb]

An encounter I thought was kinda funny.

I was getting some barbecue from this place in an area of town thats not well the best area. At the time my car had no front bumper on so my FMIC was just kinda hangin out there.

I pull up to the place to get my food and this 60+ year old man is standin outside smokin something other than a cigarette and says thats an awfully big and shiny radiator you got there. Not concerned with educating the man, I just replied yep and it works great.
Went in grabbed my food and came back out he was still there.

I don't know why i found this so funny maybe you had to be there but anyways, as I'm getting back in my car the old man goes
"you got some wings there?"

and i replied no just a polish boy now the guy looked at me like I was the idiot.
confused i just got back in my car.

My buddy waiting in the passenger seat tells me as I was pulling out that the old man was asking me if the car had "wings" like if it could fly.

So in case any of you were wondering my car does not fly, it is in fact however propelled by a young polish male.


And..

My question is , is there a special socket ( thin wall) needed for removal of the Arp head bolts. These were on the car when I purchased it, and i'm doing a full rebuild. I have tried all my metric sockets, and the 11 and 12 mm will not fit( too small) and the 14mm is to big. Any help is appreciated, also this is for a 1g 6 bolt.

Really?

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

I'm sorry...

A local guy actually did the below discribed...

I've been messing with my Stealth trying to find a leak.. and used a bit of starter fluid to help determine where it is. I was talking to someone about it locally and when they heard " It causes a slight idle surge " They heard " NOS on the cheap. "

They went and bought a can of Starter fluid.. tapped a hole in the side of their intake pipe... rigged up some little electric mechanism using an electric pencil sharpener (don't ask)

So they went out... WOT'd their Civic, hit the "NOS" and blew their car to hell.

XD I've totally got pictures of flames out the tail-pipe... and a bright flash errupting under the hood. I'll post them as soon as I can quit laughing at them long enough to upload them.

 

[Chaosweaver]

^^^ Post the pics or everything you just said is bullshit.

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

^^^ Post the pics or everything you just said is bullshit.

I'm at work, ass goblin.

xD I will when I get home.

Edit : I just text'd a buddy to confirm. It wasn't starter fluid. It was something else. I still have the pictures though. XDD

 

[Chaosweaver]

Well, you just killed my lulz... I was wondering "How the hell did they manage to blow up their car with starter fluid...?" Now I don't know what to think...

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

Well, you just killed my lulz... I was wondering "How the hell did they manage to blow up their car with starter fluid...?" Now I don't know what to think...

Yeah, but it was in a Wal-Mart parking lot. I'll figure out exactly what they used. It was something storebought. ;P

 

[Chaosweaver]

Where did you put those pics? I need some lulz right about now.

 

[DSM nOOb]

pics NOW

 

[idoceclipse]

Last year when I was still in high school some kid was trying to talk to me about cars.
Him: so do you hang out with xplicit impressions (car club in my hometown)
Me: no those guys are all tools and talk crap about everyone who drives by
Him: oh I see. So what does your car have a v8?
Me: umm no
Him: a v12!?
Me: no and I'm not going to try and explain this to you. So I walked away.

 

[tkelly27]

Well as we're polishing things up, this Old Covertable Mustang rolls by, slows down, and keeps going. We disrgard it because I get dirty looks because of my car anyway (People here don't understand DSMs. They're all rice-cakes to them and are slow)

Well the guy goes back by and stops. He rolls down his window and I notice he has 2 other people in the car, 2 girls. He yells over " Hey man! That rust bucket ever going to run? "

I've been in Little Rock for a month now. This seems to be standard practice here. It seems to come from the same person that asks if you know what the knocking coming from under the hood is too.

 

[Lil' Shaun]

I worked with a guy that had a stock 92 awd. he said it ran low 11s and did wheelies, all stock. and he launches at 8500. and turbo lag is adjustable and he tuned all his out.

a nother guy I worked with (honda guy) said a fmic does the same thing as a k&n.

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

I've been in Little Rock for a month now. This seems to be standard practice here. It seems to come from the same person that asks if you know what the knocking coming from under the hood is too.

Yeah, stupidity here is at an alarmingly high level.

I know older vehicles that some of the elderly men around here built.. which are truely bad-ass... but these kids think they can do the same thing... and haven't ever seen a piston in their lives.

" Yeah, I threw a cold air intake on. Opened up about 20 Horses. I can take that thing "

In Autozone the other day, I was talking with a friend who works there, and this dude walked in who was driving a ragged out newer GTO. I stepped aside so the guy could pay for what he needed while me and my friend kept talking. He owns a Honda, yes, but he actually knows what he's doing. ( It's borderline blasphemy. )

Anyway, the guy interupts us after my friend asks " So is she running yet? "

Me : " Yep. Took her one a drive Saturday afternoon. Drove smooth. I was pretty happy. "
Guy : " What'd you fix up? "
My Friend : " 90' Turbo Talon, AWD? *Looks at me for confirmation* "
Me : " Naw. Hahah. Eclipse. "
Guy : " Ever gonna put a bigger turbo on that thing? "
Me : " Eh... after I get it lined out and tuning equipment, a standard upgrade is an EVO II- *interrupted*"
Guy : " Bullshit. Just cause you have a turbo doesn't mean you'll go faster. -Mockingly - I put a turbo on my car so it goes faaaast - "
Friend : " Yeah... actually... it IS fast. It'll eat that GTO alive. "
Guy : " ..... -leaves- "

o_o Now.. I've never even thought to look up specs on a newer GTO...so I wasn't sure he was telling the truth or lying to shut the guy up.. but when I saw him put out blowing blue smoke... xD I had to believe him.

 

[Chaosweaver]

Yeah, stupidity here is at an alarmingly high level.

I know older vehicles that some of the elderly men around here built.. which are truely bad-ass... but these kids think they can do the same thing... and haven't ever seen a piston in their lives.

" Yeah, I threw a cold air intake on. Opened up about 20 Horses. I can take that thing "

In Autozone the other day, I was talking with a friend who works there, and this dude walked in who was driving a ragged out newer GTO. I stepped aside so the guy could pay for what he needed while me and my friend kept talking. He owns a Honda, yes, but he actually knows what he's doing. ( It's borderline blasphemy. )

Anyway, the guy interupts us after my friend asks " So is she running yet? "

Me : " Yep. Took her one a drive Saturday afternoon. Drove smooth. I was pretty happy. "
Guy : " What'd you fix up? "
My Friend : " 90' Turbo Talon, AWD? *Looks at me for confirmation* "
Me : " Naw. Hahah. Eclipse. "
Guy : " Ever gonna put a bigger turbo on that thing? "
Me : " Eh... after I get it lined out and tuning equipment, a standard upgrade is an EVO II- *interrupted*"
Guy : " Bullshit. Just cause you have a turbo doesn't mean you'll go faster. -Mockingly - I put a turbo on my car so it goes faaaast - "
Friend : " Yeah... actually... it IS fast. It'll eat that GTO alive. "
Guy : " ..... -leaves- "

o_o Now.. I've never even thought to look up specs on a newer GTO...so I wasn't sure he was telling the truth or lying to shut the guy up.. but when I saw him put out blowing blue smoke... xD I had to believe him.

The newer GTOs are pretty sick, a buddy of mine has an intake, header and exhaust combo in it and runs mid to high 12s. BUT most GTO drivers suck at just that... Driving. So they aren't too hard to take down.

Anyway, where are my pics of the blown up Honda?

 

[jwilt2008]

Non DSMer Ok so i was at work talking about my talon and a guy just walks up and was like so how to u like that probe im like its not a probe and was like probe and talon are the same thing and i was like ok buddy think what u want He would not stop calling it a probe it kinda pissed me off hah

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

The newer GTOs are pretty sick, a buddy of mine has an intake, header and exhaust combo in it and runs mid to high 12s. BUT most GTO drivers suck at just that... Driving. So they aren't too hard to take down.

Anyway, where are my pics of the blown up Honda?

I know there is a GTO around here that is built for drag that's pretty nice. But I know nothing about stock ones. Really, I don't know anything about them at all. Just that the guy thinks he's a hardass because it says " GTO ".

o.o Should text and remind me to upload them! xD It's not hard to find my number.

 

[SpawnedX]

"I'm buying a Civic / Integra..."

/thread

 

[Chaosweaver]

"I'm buying a Civic / Integra..."

/thread

You have NO idea how many times I've said that out of rage and frustration. I highly doubt it will happen, I graduated from angry talk to kicking in my fenders. Now I have a huge dent on my driver side fender that kinda pushes out the headlight a bit... FML.

 

[Doubleot]

I've got two good ones that happened on Saturday.
First is a dsmer
Him- hey man nice to see you out again
Me-thanks I've been doing some work on this and its finally done
Him- I blew my motor 3 times so im going to swap in an evo 8 motor
Me- oh really? Does that drop right in?
Him-Yeah but I might have to put my 2g head on it
Me- That's cool later
I couldn't stand there any longer, I've tried to teach this kid before but he doesn't like doing things right.
Second was a honda kid who sadly is probably 17 and has only begun to build his car, 4 door integra turbo'd. I know him some what personally since his dad does a lot of body/paint work for my brothers and i
Me-hey lets see that engine bay
He pops the hood
Him-pretty sweet huh
Me- why does your return like go over and around your valve cover?
Him- just wanted to get it done, im on 5 psi right now but soon I'll be around 20
Me- you getting injectors and an Afpr?
Him- no need I can get it tuned for 20 without adding anything
Me- cool peace
I could have owned him but seriously, it isn't worth my time to try and argue with honda owners.
I later saw him pulled over as well.
Sad really.

 

[Fotowntalon]

Wow, was cruising around on e-bay and saw this
MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE 2.0 420A HAHNS TURBO KIT NA-T KIT: eBay Motors (item 320534950393 end time May-25-10 11:17:50 PDT)

for those who dont want to click the link here is the description

this is a 4500 turbo kit. its used, only for 2500 miles. everything looks like new. manifold still shines like stainless should. will take that wimpy 170hp 2.0L motor in your eclipse to 400hp in 8 hours or less in installation time. this is the best turbo kit ever made for the eclipse, greddys doesnt compare by a long shot. remember F&F 1? hes running a hahns turbo kit.. it has a 16g turbo, single. this is the one that u can never find for sale. luckily for you, its here. includes greddy profec b. manual boost controller, bell engineering rising rate fuel pressure regulator. hahn downpipe, stainless manifold, 16g turbo, oil feed line for the turbo, boost guage and pillar pod so you can just remove your pillar and replace it with this one. call or text 910-286-3461 with any questions p.s. ignore the distributor n wires, they were in the wrong box, from a honda prelude.

 

[->PrOjEcTGS<-]

"Just throw _____ and _____ in and call it a day!"

 

[Chaosweaver]

Wow, was cruising around on e-bay and saw this
MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE 2.0 420A HAHNS TURBO KIT NA-T KIT: eBay Motors (item 320534950393 end time May-25-10 11:17:50 PDT)

for those who dont want to click the link here is the description

this is a 4500 turbo kit. its used, only for 2500 miles. everything looks like new. manifold still shines like stainless should. will take that wimpy 170hp 2.0L motor in your eclipse to 400hp in 8 hours or less in installation time. this is the best turbo kit ever made for the eclipse, greddys doesnt compare by a long shot. remember F&F 1? hes running a hahns turbo kit.. it has a 16g turbo, single. this is the one that u can never find for sale. luckily for you, its here. includes greddy profec b. manual boost controller, bell engineering rising rate fuel pressure regulator. hahn downpipe, stainless manifold, 16g turbo, oil feed line for the turbo, boost guage and pillar pod so you can just remove your pillar and replace it with this one. call or text 910-286-3461 with any questions p.s. ignore the distributor n wires, they were in the wrong box, from a honda prelude.

Anyone who pays that much and falls for this add deserves to blow their motor. This add made me lulz so hard that I'm thinking of print screening it and making it my background.