Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[TSi Kid]

why is it that every time i don't want to street race some random honda its because his "semi" built motor would run me?

does anyone know what a semi built block is? ### apparently every honda in arizona has one...did they just throw in two new pistons and call it a day or what?

 

[yepes281]

Not a dsmer but whatever.

While i was on vacation in cancun, i met this kid...

Him: so you drive and eclipse huh? to bad you didnt get the talon it has awd.
Me: The eclipse has it to, its called a gsx.
Him: Oh i wasnt aware of that, me and my friend bought a GTI for 8k and both put 11k into it each. We put dual stock evo9 turbos called g30rs, and a supra engine in it, fmic all that good stuff. We completely gutted it no dash nothing, just a steering wheel, seats, and a shifter, it had 800 hp and ran 8s in a quarter mile. I raced a 1000 hp supercharged z06 last week and smoked it. We started off from a stop shifted from 1st, to 2nd, and then to 4th just to mess with them, and then i down shifter to 3rd gear and my awd broke loose, so im sliding past these guys sideways and i beat them really bad.
Me: damn dude, what kinda pistons and rods you got in there?
Him: ummm i cant remember the name my friend bought them, he went to UTI
Me: Well what size injectors do you have to flow such big turbos
Him: i cant remember the size of that either, my friend did it.
Me: Oh okay, and i thought evos had 16gs isnt that right???
Him: no they use a g30r turbos.
Me: I kinda looked at him like this WTF


Needless to say, COMPLETE FAIL.

 

[dsmdeliveryboy]

Found a intake pipe in the classifieds that comes with a 2G MAS filter etc and it said "plug in and go" etc, PM'ed him and asked if it had a bov recirculation and he said no and I told him he should change the info as its a little deceptive because you need a MAFT to run a intake pipe like that and he replies back ", I've been modding dsms for a decade and have been a member on here for nearly 10 years. It's also odd that I know a few guys making 500+ on 2gmas and VTA, so they must be doing something wrong according to you. I'll pass that along. Thanks".

I just laughed haha

 

[JOEY A]

DSMs are cheap to make fast! !


I hear that from noob hack kids all the time, and then tell them yeah mine was cheap....

Then I tell them that I had a little over 10,000 into my car said and done.

Paint,built motor,trans, etc misc fixes using oem parts all add up real fast


I just picked up a integra gsr for 4k.......Dumped 2k in it for tires,a misc service including all little things that add up.

Now its getting a full respray, picked up a built motor and turbo setup......Yup almost at 10,000 including the car in six months....

Im parting it all out the motor and turbo setups already and just doing boltons and sus.

You just have to say enough is enough


Next comes a feul system, then standalone, then sus, then slicks.....Whens it end you know!

 

[Achelea]

They are cheap to make go fast. Not reliably fast, but it can be done.

But then, not everyone can rebuild the motor, trans, suspension, etc etc all by themselves. . . Yet.

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

I wish I could rebuild a trans.

Honestly... if one of you damned guys would call me and walk me through it.. xD I'd totally do it.

 

[FluidKaos]

Had a good one a while back. Just chatting with a friend in the parking lot, and asks about my car:

Him: "What kind of engine you got?"
Me: "2L turbo inline 4."
Him: "You say inline like 4 cylinders come in any other configuration"
Me: "Right. Guess you've never heard of a Subaru Boxer engine, or the flat 4's in the old V-Dub Bugs."
Him:

I can't blame him too much though. he's not much of a car guy.

 

[Jiggalude]

Spark plugs aren't always a good indicator although obviously anyone with half a brain can figure out the cases when they aren't but we are talking about the sort of person that says they have a v8 wrx.

If you need a good example take a look at a late 80s or early 90s 4cyl Ranger. I'm not sure what years or if there are any other Fords like it but they have 8 spark plugs. Fuel injectors aren't a good indicator either since some cars have an extra one for cold starts. The early 90s 4.9L Cadillacs are an example of that IIRC. On a lot of newer cars it is also nearly impossible to count plugs without taking parts off. My mothers C70 has so much trim on it that you can't find the turbo, spark plugs, throttle body, intake manifold, or timing components without removing trim parts. I'm aware that this isn't the case for many Subarus but I do admit to only having been under the hoods of a few. FWIW you can't count plugs on a stock DSM without removing a shield either though plug wires will obviously tell you the same thing and so will the coil pack outputs.

1996. I had one. 8 freaking spark plugs for a 4 cylinder.

 

[dsm-onster]

Found a intake pipe in the classifieds that comes with a 2G MAS filter etc and it said "plug in and go" etc, PM'ed him and asked if it had a bov recirculation and he said no and I told him he should change the info as its a little deceptive because you need a MAFT to run a intake pipe like that and he replies back ", I've been modding dsms for a decade and have been a member on here for nearly 10 years. It's also odd that I know a few guys making 500+ on 2gmas and VTA, so they must be doing something wrong according to you. I'll pass that along. Thanks".

I just laughed haha

They all run stock flywheels and/or prepare for the stall between shifts before coming to a stoplight. He's right it does "work" But it's common sense as to what happens when you vent post MAF. Horsepower has nothing to do with how drivable the car is. Their 500+ on the 2g maf is what it is without a recirculation: knowledge that it could stall so they alter their driving habits to prevent it. Anyone telling you otherwise is, like abouve, selling you something.

 

[LandoAWD]

You need a MAFT to run a 2g MAF and hard intake pipe? We have a new runner up!

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

you need a maft to run a 2g maf and hard intake pipe? We have a new runner up!

Phhaaalllluuussss

 

[LandoAWD]

Save it for the VIP forum. We'll administrate your ass out here.

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

I'm sorry.. let me fix that.

xDD I think I snotted...

(See above post.)

 

[lizoyd18]

This has a direct connection with this site

i had just signed on and my cousin's sitting next to me (no mechanic skills what so ever) HE then asks what's with the username?

Me-its a joke... my car has allergies.
him-whats that suppose to mean?
Me- it's constantly sneezing... you know between shifts.
Him- what like your windshield washer fluid is effed up or something?
Me-nooo the BOV
Him-WTF
Me- the freaking noise between shift... the air sound...you know woosh sha sha sha sha
Him- ohh yeah i thought that was like a leak or something
ME- ugghhh! i give up dude.

that is a good line

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

Had a guy text me about my car last night. I knew this wasn't going to be a sale due to his opening text.

" Wanna trade for a Honda? "
" Neh.. not a honda guy. "
" How much you want for it? "
" Eh.. $2500 and it's yours "
" Naw, I have a 2gen 'Talion' I can get for 2 grand that will smoke that 1gen"
" Oh yeah? That's cool. "
" Yeah, Has a short shift, apexi exhaust, and front mount. It'll spin all 4 tires."
" .... Really now? How much boost that '2gen' pushing? "
" It's turned down to 20 right now. "
" Well, good luck with that talon for 2 grand. ;P let me know when it hits the streets "
" I will. Ltr dushe "

 

[97-gst]

I was told my car would go faster if it was black because it would hold more heat and make it cut through the wind faster

 

[Gasolinebaptism]

Talking to a guy at autozone driving a beaut of a nismo 350z. Says he's got a 1g talon at home.
I'm in the parking lot doing a compression test, passing some time, we talk about our cars, then he talks about his talon and everything. So for about 20 minutes I've had my hood up talking to him, keep in mind he's 35-40 years old, he finally asks, is it turbo?? As he peers around the IM. I say yea, it's AWD. Well... "where's the turbo??"
I had to , and wanted to walkthrough exactly how a turbo works with the guy. And let's remember, I'm just a 16 year old kid driving his first car.

 

[DSM IN MN]

The dumbest thing I heard was the day after I got my GS-T... (Friday)..

This guy came to my dad's auto body shop to check why the "Check engine soon" light came on.. I already know why its on, no CAT... He goes to tell my dad and says it's not good...

After awhile we (me, my cousin, my dad, my uncle and this guy) are standing around the car.. I say the reason they take the CAT off is to make the car go more (add power).. He "proves me wrong" by saying it needs a CAT, plus other usless stuff I dismissed...

Then he said any engine with valves scare him... So I just was laughing on the inside... I nearly lost it though as he left when he said "Really its just a Neon engine." WTF

I didn't even want to go there with him because he kept saying something about rotary engines... So I just figured, leave it be...

I did though explain to my dad that guy has no clue what he is talking about.. Oh how people confuse me...

 

[AliceCooper]

So I was talking to my friend about how his cousin bought a 2g eclipse GS-T and what all it had on it in the way of mods (if any). He says the guy set it up as his race car and how it had all this stuff and it was way faster than my GSX (thats stock) so I just reply "well yah my car is stock haha" so he goes on telling me how it was setup for racing and showed me pictures and it had stock intercooler piping, stock smic, stock T-25 turbo and everything else the only stuff that was aftermarket was the BOV, boost controller, exhaust and had gauges. He then was talking to me about how it gets 400 miles on a tank of gas and how they turn the boost up to 25psi and how it has around 300whp and that the turbo is'nt going to blow up at of that level of boost.. I just sigh and I'm just waiting for it to fall apart.. As much as i wish to save it from them i cant ..

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

....o_o what's wrong with 400miles on a tank of gas?

 

[Achelea]

....o_o what's wrong with 400miles on a tank of gas?

it's borderline impossible with the guy's mods and possibly driving style? Furthest I've gone is 348 on a single tank.

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

I see.... X_X

There was a thread on here a while back about gas saving and whatnot. I can't remember what the guy allegidly could get from a tank. I know that I've Never filled up my GSX... but if I stay out of boost.. I can get around 200 on half a tank. So I don't see 400 being impossible?

Edit :

Here's the Article. http://www.dsmtuners.com/forums/articles-miscellaneous/254223-how-save-gas.html

 

[bricksquad7]

him: hey you have a tsi thats awd right?
me: yes that means its awd.
him: o so it is awd.
me: ya i just said that,
him: well then wheres the switch to turn the awd on huh.

 

[concept4g63]

how is your car suppose to be fast its just "V-4"?

 

[viperlp01]

my 90 tsi has gotten me numerous times 400 miles per tank. I just unhook the wastegate flapper and never go into boost and walla.