Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[LandSpeed-DSM]

Women love those vibrations

Can confirm. Source: Fiancee and her sister.

 

[NosLaser]

Can confirm. Source: Fiancee and her sister.

But she already loves you and has accepted your car as part of the deal.

 

[LandSpeed-DSM]

But she already loves you and has accepted your car as part of the deal.

Well.. only one of them has. But:

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[gusu]

So this one happened a while ago but I never thought to post it til now.

I was helping a friend do his Slave cylinder on his Talon because he was already at my house and it was leaking.

So we go to Autozone to see if they have one. On our way there we see another 1g and my friend pulls on him a bit. He happens to be going to Autozone as well (Go figure, a DSM at a autoparts store right?) so he pulls in behind us.

He tries to tell us his car has a GT35R and a lot of other bullshit. His car was obviously stock because my friend's car destroyed him with just a E16g.

He also told us his friend has a shop here in Salem that I've never heard of and he is running 9s on a 600hp car. I ended up meeting the kid he was talking about a few weeks later and he only had a 2g with a T-28 and 510cc injectors, no fuel pump upgrade just a rewire.

The kids friend tried telling me he didn't need a upgraded fuel pump and he was going to make 400whp on his T-28 with out it. All with out tuning as well. He also tried telling me you don't need anything more than a SAFC to make real power.

It wasn't THAT stupid but the fact that it lead me to the "knowledgeable" idiot was pretty odd.

 

[BurrowZ]

I have a buddy with an Evo. He's not an Evo guy, just a guy with an Evo. If you get what I'm saying...

Anyway. We're at the local street drags that are hosted every year and this "1600 HP" GT-R owned by a local was parked, with the owner nearby talking up a shitstorm about his car. He didn't do any of the work and paid a ton of money to have it built, I'm sure.

So we walk up to it and the first question my buddy asks: "Hey how much boost are you running?" It was embarrassing and I tried to make it look like I didn't know him. He proceeded with more questions:
"What all is done to it?"
"Can you make it RHD?"
"Is this the fastest GT-R in the US?"

Bonus: This is what happened to the GT-R its first time racing on pavement. Guess he's a little too used to the track.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6_LNjWLJWo]GTR CRASHES INTO OTHER DRIVER - YouTube[/ame]

 

[crash89]

Bahahaha!!! Now thats funny however, I would be soo effing pissed if I was the guy in the far lane!

 

[NosLaser]

More of that infallible AWD at work...

 

[dontkillme63]

Sort of DSMer, so i found out i have a cracked block in my GSX so i set out to find a replacement. Well i found one on craigslist, guy said that a mechanic looked it over and said it had a spun rod bear. I meet up with the guy and start talking to him says if i dont pay his asking price he will just replace the block with a civic i just laughed and he gave me the dirtiest look.

 

[rtrocket59]

This was on the DSMtuners facebook page...

the scoop or the car josh? and i dont mind the attention i dont street race just track. haha gallo. it was green when i got it but went all black. rebuilt the engine and turbo. it runs like a charm. all stock tho. gonna work on the interior until my engine sits good then ill get what i need to turn up the psi. wanna go twin turbo by next year

he races an all stock eclipse (oh other than his ricey wing, bumper and roof scoop)
and is going to TT

 

[layten69]

This guy wasn't a DSMer but I thought it was funny. I was talking about my 95 gsx at a party and this is what some kid had to say:
Kid: I would smoke your car
Me: O ya? What do you got?
Kid: 2011 V6 mustang With a supercharger.
Me: really? Your a retard stfu.
I then proceeded to walk away.

 

[91-GS]

(talking to a guy who has two 2Gs, one with broken down 4g63 and another with a working 420a)

-Why don't you just do an engine swap, isn't it the same engine, just turned around?

Then along came DSMTuners that taught me so much.

 

[Bud92gsx]

I installed an air intake and now my car stalls..

Who gives these people wrenches? Tell me who?

 

[99ECLIPSEGSXDSM]

Lol I seen that thread and was like

 

[WES_393]

Or the guy who keeps starting threads about his car overheating when the FMIC is installed, doesn't check the replies, and then starts another. Gofer keeps merging them into the overheating thread and he still hasn't noticed.

Who gives these people computers?

 

[fierosail]

Or the guy who keeps starting threads about his car overheating when the FMIC is installed, doesn't check the replies, and then starts another. Gofer keeps merging them into the overheating thread and he still hasn't noticed.

Who gives these people computers?

sadly some one did and help us all when they find the spam button

 

[NHerron]

Mom calls me the other day and tells me about a friend who's wipers are bipolar. Low road speeds the wipers are moving more water than Niagra Falls... highway speeds they slow down like Jenny Craig after Thanksgiving

So mom suggested a fuse installed backwards.

And I ALMOST told her its mandatory I posted that. Sorry ma.

Other one is, "who knew replacing the pressure sensor would bring back my oil pressure". I had the shop shaking their head when I said that. Good thing it happened to me and not them, they'd never figure it out .. Tards' I tell ya, tards'.

Okay one more. Grinding front end on a duramax, jack it up and holy balls wheel bearing about to split (yup pun). I look at the guy straight and say 'Sir this is what happens when you don't check the hub oil... See this little metal plate here.. Take a chisel and..." Funny, he was all concerned and was ready to take notes. I didn't have the heart to keep going.. He trusts me so..

 

[WES_393]

Not a DSM, but I just saw a commercial for a new Twin-Turbo Cadillac. Can't find it on youtube, but there's all kinds of people standing near their car watching the doors fall off. Then it shows the cadillac cruising down a street with cars parked on both sides, and the doors being "blown off". As if that's not enough, it shows the Caddy accelerating next to another car, then letting off to give the other driver a window full of BOV.

Man, have Cadillacs come far from the well-powered luxury vehicles they once were. With a commercial like that, it looks like an $80,000 pile of rice to me...

Edit found it-
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xRQglH6Pwo[/ame]

 

[LandoAWD]

I like it, but I still vent at joggers and whatnot.

 

[DSMBanditFZ6]

Not a DSM, but I just saw a commercial for a new Twin-Turbo Cadillac. Can't find it on youtube, but there's all kinds of people standing near their car watching the doors fall off. Then it shows the cadillac cruising down a street with cars parked on both sides, and the doors being "blown off". As if that's not enough, it shows the Caddy accelerating next to another car, then letting off to give the other driver a window full of BOV.

Man, have Cadillacs come far from the well-powered luxury vehicles they once were. With a commercial like that, it looks like an $80,000 pile of rice to me...

Edit found it-
Slow Motion Cadillac Twin Turbo XTS TV Commercial - YouTube

I kinda like it.

I don't think I can remember a "well powered" caddy. My brother had an older caddy broughm de elegance (biggest caddy ever made I swear) it was nice to ride in. But slow and don't get me started as to why they decided to shove a DOHC V8 in there FWD turds. I cringe at the thought of working on Northstar motor. Unless it's an olds aurora, the way the nose is pointed makes it significantly easier to work on.

Did you know AC Delco makes Cadillac specific stop leak? They look like little granule disc because they're notorious leaking monsters.

That turbo caddy seems like a younger enthusiast cheaper alternative to a ctsv. The new strangs are said to have turbo 4cyl. I'd much rather tinker with that for the price.

If I was going to cough up the money for a luxury car, it would be a MERC anyways

 

[BurrowZ]

There's a thread around here somewhere.

"I know your car inside and out I know what it takes to make 1000hp have seen a 1000hp Supra built from ground up"

Can't figure out why his car won't start. Doesn't know how to fix or work on his own car. Pays shop to do it.

And then wants to do an Evo 8 and AWD swap on 95 RS.

It's like WTF

 

[Archer Fabrications]

HAHAHAHA WAS GONNA SAY!!!

anyone see that "problems...endless problems" thread?!

Problem is DUMB ASS!

Comes around to buying a GSX for two posts the. Comes back sayin,
" fuq dat shit, no car will equate to the sentiment of mine! On with evo8
Swap!"


And i thought we were getting somewhere.
/life

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[NHerron]

Replacing a fuel pump, GMC I think. Revised connector requires splicing and it comes with crimp and heat shrink butt connectors. This connector is just inches from the tank opening and I'm sittin' there thinking 'this must be a population control attempt'

'Would you like the 'oh sh!t' package to compliment the revised connector from GM? It includes new underwear for when your dumbass burns down the place'

 

[reverus]

not dsmers but ricers in general.

Every time I drive my supra either at a light, or at a parking lot I get approached and here come the ricer questions.
"how much boost?"
"how much hp?"
"whats the 1/4 mile?

which I could totally deal with as I dont expect everyone that likes the sight of a supra to be an expert, what gets me is the follow up when I tell them im making 600hp on 18psi with a 67mm single.

every time, and I mean EVERY F'n TIME...

"My friend has one with 1200 hp..
"67mm is small you should put on a 80mm
"bla bla bla runs 8's
"600 hp is slow"

I've actually stoped going out on fridays and saturdays in the supra just to avoid this. The dsm goes largly unnoticed. It's kinda nice.

 

[DSMBanditFZ6]

Replacing a fuel pump, GMC I think. Revised connector requires splicing and it comes with crimp and heat shrink butt connectors. This connector is just inches from the tank opening and I'm sittin' there thinking 'this must be a population control attempt'

'Would you like the 'oh sh!t' package to compliment the revised connector from GM? It includes new underwear for when your dumbass burns down the place'

Huh? Usually the ones that have to be spliced with a new harness, you have to drop the tank anyways. Just move it. Or disconnect the battery.

I'm in gmc hell all day everyday..

 

[99ECLIPSEGSXDSM]

This thread comes to mind

http://www.dsmtuners.com/forums/maintenance-repairs/472548-turbo-tech-needed-td05h-options.html