Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[CrackedDSM]

I don't know, but I woke up my roommates with how hard I laughed at that. It was so random and completely incomprehensible.

 

[combs-dsm]

I asked Lucas English in the "status of pina motorsports" thread what he disliked about TunerPro, honestly just curious to hear what a big name/well known tuner thinks, and got this little gem of a PM from Clipto.






Is he even speaking English? Does anyone speak "moron" that can translate?

Wow i was trying to actually read this and understand what hes trying to say. But the more and more i do i end up hating myself for trying. Lmao

 

[91stocker]

Lol that is a gem

 

[99ECLIPSEGSXDSM]

I was a part last Friday night and ran into another

Him: So your into sports cars
Me: Yup
Him: What do you drive? I used to own a talon
Me: I love those things. I drive an Eclispse GSX.
Him: I know I want another. They are faster then people think. How fast have you had yours going?
Me: 145
Him: I had mine up to 160 and all I put on it was a cold air intake. I was racing a mustang. Whats the gsx modle?
Me: AWD and turbod
Him: Nice. I only had the normal 4 cylinder.

If all I had to do was put a cold air on a 420a to do one 160 id have one as my DD.

 

[99ECLIPSEGSXDSM]

I was a part last Friday night and ran into another

Him: So your into sports cars
Me: Yup
Him: What do you drive? I used to own a talon
Me: I love those things. I drive an Eclispse GSX.
Him: I know I want another. They are faster then people think. How fast have you had yours going?
Me: 145
Him: I had mine up to 160 and all I put on it was a cold air intake. I was racing a mustang. Whats the gsx modle?
Me: AWD and turbod
Him: Nice. I only had the normal 4 cylinder.

If all I had to do was put a cold air on a 420a to do one 160 id have one as my DD.

 

[GofaST4life]

I would get rid of the turbo completely. Do all motor you'll have fun and it'll have Balls. Plus less money and your car will last longer. Just a thought.

Yeah....

Thread here.
http://www.dsmtuners.com/forums/new...torming-want-rebuild-ol-talon-tsi-summer.html

EDIT: Guess a mod removed all the fun comments...

 

[Cdc1221]

Ahhh that thread is hilarious. Some people are just dummmmbbbb, and shouldn't be allowed to have a wrench, much less a car!

 

[DSMBanditFZ6]

Yeah....

Thread here.
http://www.dsmtuners.com/forums/new...torming-want-rebuild-ol-talon-tsi-summer.html

Aw holy shit that is fail. Words can't even express the stupidity.

 

[slo2spool]

Talking to my friend's cousin who is in his 40's(owns a 90 tsi awd, since new I believe).
Showing him pictures of my gsx and the fmic
me: "yeah, I installed a front mount intercooler so I could run more boost(with other supporting mods of course)
him:"Oh yeah, well my talon has an intercooler too, I just don't know where it is."
This guy "knows" how to work on cars too.

 

[Bud92gsx]

A local guy with an f&f replica told Me I should turbo my car.Guess he doesnt know that a gsx is turbo'd stock.

 

[Archer Fabrications]

I asked Lucas English in the "status of pina motorsports" thread what he disliked about TunerPro, honestly just curious to hear what a big name/well known tuner thinks, and got this little gem of a PM from Clipto.






Is he even speaking English? Does anyone speak "moron" that can translate?

I got one of those too from clipto.. Fool

 

[Dert]

Yeah....

Thread here.
http://www.dsmtuners.com/forums/new...torming-want-rebuild-ol-talon-tsi-summer.html

EDIT: Guess a mod removed all the fun comments...

I keep reading about a lot of people that have "greedy" parts...

 

[BurrowZ]

So yesterday we had a little grill night for my bday. Invited all my car buddies and my gf invited her employees. Anyway, all my buddies had left and one of her employees migrated over to me and started asking some questions.

Him: "Hey that turbo you have sitting on your shelf is that a 16g?"
Me: "No, it's just a TD06 compressor wheel and housing, 20g"
Him: "What do you have on your Eclipse now?"
Me: "An Evo 3 16g until I can get an anti surge housing and external wastegate setup for that 20g wheel."
Him: "Why don't you put a real motor in that thing? Like one from an Evo 5."
Me: "There are very little if any differences between that motor and mine."
Him: "No that one was built for a turbo. It can handle like 3 more PSI but that makes the difference."
Me: "Yeah.. um I spike about 28psi and hold 23-25 depending on the weather."
Him: "You're gonna blow your motor again!!"
Me: "No, I have a good tune. It'll be fine. I'm the most conservative person when it comes to that. If I see any knock at all I always back off anything I can because I'm more for reliability with my DSM."
Him: "Tune doesn't matter its the timing"
At this point, honestly, after 8 beers I came to realize what a true idiot he was. I'm glad he was trying to talk cars with me and whatnot but honestly, arguing with me about what's in MY car and what I can/cannot/should run is ridiculous.

I explained a bit more about what "tuning" really is. I told him the process I take, told him that if you seem to have a "good tune" it can still blow because of previous unattended issues such as boost leaks or exhaust leaks.

Him: "You need to run enough timing or you will blow it up."
Me: "Well I run E85. I run 19* peak up top to be safe. Any higher and then I'm starting to push it without getting it on a dyno. I just like to be safe."
Him: "I took automotive in 8th grade man I know cars."

To skip most of the conversation, some other gems from the night:
"See I like all cars but I know more about JDM!"
After telling him the 4G63 was the quickest 4 cylinder in the world:
"No its not. Its the motor from the Evo."

I'm too nice sometimes. I really should have just told him to leave my house.

 

[Blurred Talon]

So yesterday we had a little grill night for my bday. Invited all my car buddies and my gf invited her employees. Anyway, all my buddies had left and one of her employees migrated over to me and started asking some questions.

Him: "Hey that turbo you have sitting on your shelf is that a 16g?"
Me: "No, it's just a TD06 compressor wheel and housing, 20g"
Him: "What do you have on your Eclipse now?"
Me: "An Evo 3 16g until I can get an anti surge housing and external wastegate setup for that 20g wheel."
Him: "Why don't you put a real motor in that thing? Like one from an Evo 5."
Me: "There are very little if any differences between that motor and mine."
Him: "No that one was built for a turbo. It can handle like 3 more PSI but that makes the difference."
Me: "Yeah.. um I spike about 28psi and hold 23-25 depending on the weather."
Him: "You're gonna blow your motor again!!"
Me: "No, I have a good tune. It'll be fine. I'm the most conservative person when it comes to that. If I see any knock at all I always back off anything I can because I'm more for reliability with my DSM."
Him: "Tune doesn't matter its the timing"
At this point, honestly, after 8 beers I came to realize what a true idiot he was. I'm glad he was trying to talk cars with me and whatnot but honestly, arguing with me about what's in MY car and what I can/cannot/should run is ridiculous.

I explained a bit more about what "tuning" really is. I told him the process I take, told him that if you seem to have a "good tune" it can still blow because of previous unattended issues such as boost leaks or exhaust leaks.

Him: "You need to run enough timing or you will blow it up."
Me: "Well I run E85. I run 19* peak up top to be safe. Any higher and then I'm starting to push it without getting it on a dyno. I just like to be safe."
Him: "I took automotive in 8th grade man I know cars."

To skip most of the conversation, some other gems from the night:
"See I like all cars but I know more about JDM!"
After telling him the 4G63 was the quickest 4 cylinder in the world:
"No its not. Its the motor from the Evo."

I'm too nice sometimes. I really should have just told him to leave my house.

, automotive in 8th grade, !!!!!!!!!!!

I would have kicked him out.

 

[Breezio69]

Not from a dsmer, but I had a good debate with a vw guy today... he had a slammed and stanced gti when I pulled into a shop for safety and emissions. I saw a drop of coolant leaking on the ground so I popped the hood and he B lined it over to me. He started asking about the car, then he asks, do you run a turbo timer?

No
Why not?
Because its a waste of $ on these cars and one more thing to go wrong.
They aren't a waste, they save your turbo, I've run one on my gti since the day I got it.
Ok, well mines liquid cooled, it doesn't see the same abuse an air cooled one does.
It doesn't matter you should always run one
Is that what they told you on vwvortex?

Conversation ended at that, he walked away. Victory.

 

[arabeclipse]

Some random kid in my neighborhood driving an nasty Baretta stops at my house, catches me outside doing some landscaping and he asks me

- "hey man, i always see your Eclipse around. What size is your exhaust?"
- "2.5" at the flex then 3" all the way out."
- "Nice man! Can I see under the hood?"

I'm thinking, man this kid is wasting my time. But I did it anyway. As soon as I popped the hood, he points at the J pipe and goes "man there's NO way that's 2.5 inches."

I just didn't know what to say after that.

 

[Sebba]

Back when I was in HS, I saw this primered shit heap in the parking lot:

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I walk up, notice the FMIC and ask if it's a GST or GSX. He pops the hood, and that's when I realize it's a ####ing 420a. I say, "oh, nice 420a ya got there." Him: Actually, this is the 420b.....

I just about ####ing died.

More pics of this shit heap that's probably rotting in some junk yard.

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Nice offset.

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[horizontalkev]

So retarded looking ^ .. Today I asked this guy if his turbod Volvo is running rich because his exhaust was black and his bumper around the exhaust was black, this idiot said you're wrong I have an oil leak.. Lol

 

[Spanky_DSM]

http://www.dsmtuners.com/forums/newbie-forum/5556-where-can-i-buy-more-boost-fluid.html

 

[Sebba]

Did I mention there was no turbo? Just a hanging FMIC.

 

[horizontalkev]

Did I mention there was no turbo? Just a hanging FMIC.

All show .. I'm surprised he didn't have a turbo zip tied in there just for looks too

 

[horizontalkev]

http://www.dsmtuners.com/forums/newbie-forum/5556-where-can-i-buy-more-boost-fluid.html

hahaha wow I have never read something so entertaining

 

[NHerron]

Now I have a turbo model and leave overdrive on unless I'm idling in a parking lot, ...

Hmm. That's a new one.

 

[horizontalkev]

Gas station clerk told me today he is about to buy a completely "stocked out" mustang.. I'm like, so you'll have to mod the bi*** and run it at the dragstrip.. This guy proceeds to say, oh yeah its stock all the way everything is modded 100% from headers, exhaust, "ran cyclone" cold air intake (what the hell is that?) and forged internals, I didn't correct him on what "stock" means, he seemed happy I didn't want to shatter his world . He asked if I wanted to line up with him for money once he gets his car, I gladly accepted.

 

[talon2gbuyer]

Rofl... you must live in jersey man