Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[TurboFritz]

No but seriousely, my talon is down for a count and I might be parting her out with all of her rare parts. I wish I had an engine hoist to fix the 2 problems that are stopping it from running. 2 hours of work and she will be running but no hoist to get the work done because I'm wore out on dropping a trans out threw the bottom of the car by putting it on my chest as I lay on the ground under the car. NOT FUN

AHHHHH.... the dsm way of life....bench pressing tranny's on a cold oily dirty floor!!! haha the good old days till i got the engine hoist and car hoist

 

[2GbTalonGuy]

I had a guy isterested in buying one of my 95 Talon ask if it was twin turbo.

And the new dumbest think ive ever heard a DSM'er say: "lulz"

 

[AG 305]

ya well I got you all beat. my car cane with a jet turbine for an engine!! that's what makes the whoosh sound when I boost it!!! !!

you think thats something? heres the turbo MY car came with from factory.

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but seriously...

i told a guy to replace his crappy stock 2g bov with something better and he said...

NO! unlike you, i dont like to waste my turbo. while yours makes a pretty noise its letting all the pressure out. im not that dumb



he then went on to say hes got 400hp. i looked and he was still on the t25 and stock intake.

good job man! good job

 

[92DSM89]

audi owner. this is from this kid that i used to go to school with.

"wow kid DSM motors ####ing suck dick. ####ing shitty 4 banger in your rice box. too bad DSM is ancient technology and there best motor is a 4 banger with a shitty turbo that goes after 80k. hahahhahaha DSM makes me laugh... also their shitty AWD setup makes me laugh too hahaahahhaha"

Then i said a bunch of s*** that i wish i didn't delete because it was epic

"rofl kid. putting straight Uncle Ben's in those shitty DSM cars. and honestly kid, i paid for my car with hundo's ####y. ### rocket ####y shit. and dude i wouldnt be proud of your shitty USA made rice burner. 4g63 laps nut. and as for bulletproof.... rofl. DSM knows nothing about that. call me when that alum block cracks cause DSM BLOWS HAHAHHAHAAH. yo damn, i wonder what would happen to that rice burner if you try and run 20 psi on stock internals and a stock turbo. boom? HAHAHHAAH. uncle ben's #####. yo your shit aint even inline hahahha."

Aluminum block yeh....... it gets better

"yo tell me how much shaft play you get after 200k on that ### junk turbo. cause i can tell you that i run 18 psi on my stock K26 and i have over 200k on it with ZERO shaft play."

It goes on and on his friend even chimes in with some advice for me but you get the idea. in the end I s*** on everything they had do say.

 

[TSi Kid]

Fixed my idle surge so i went down the the autozone where a couple of my friends work to show it off. I'm at the counter talking to my friend when the girl who works there is next to us talking to a customer about cars.

Her: Yeah I had to give up my mustang (v6) to get a daily driver. It really sucks when you lose a performance vehicle
Me: You did not really just call a mustang a performance vehicle
Her: My v6 would have dusted your sh*tty four banger

My friend and I kept laughing until she went away. But a couple minutes later she came over to us and was talking about what her favorite mustang was

Her: I'd love to have a 68' but I think all mustangs are great
Me: Really? Because I'd rather have a fast car

The last parts not really her saying something dumb i was just being an as

 

[AllShallPerish]

I was at work, and a guy came in with a sweet 1g talon. I didnt get a good look at it so i asked him if it was a TSI. He looked at me like i was stupid and said "What the hell is a TSI, This is a Talon".

 

[prospectgsx]

So I go into AutoZone carrying my brand new AMS VSR Intake manifold looking for a fitting for the brake booster. (which btw, shiny metal car parts in AutoZone seem to attract douchebags like a yeasty vagina convention) and I immediately get the usual guy that has a 3g v6 and wants me to join his car club, and then whilst in the back asile behind the counter some 19yr old employee starts talking to me.

Redshirt: Whats that going on?
Me:98 Turbo mitsubishi eclipse
Redshirt: cool, i got a 98 3000gt making 1,400hp at all four wheels.
me:you dont say.
Redshirt: Yep, its got two real big turbos
Me:thats great, so u must run c16?
Redshirt:huh?
Me:race fuel?
Redshirt:shoot no, it'd burn up the pistons, it runs straight nitromethane
Me:so u ever drive it?
Redshirt:naw, im too scared to drive her tho' so she stays parked in my barn, I drive a 58' chevy pickup, thats my real toy'
Me:thats cool, well heres my fitting, see ya later.

 

[1990AWD]

I've had lots of stupid people at parts stores to deal with.

Once I walked in an asked for a wiper switch for a '88 F-150, to which I was asked if that was a half-ton!! I was also asked which engine it had, as if that matters for the wiper switch.

I also have been asked if I have a manual or automatic when I ask for a clutch slave cylinder...

 

[Pirrofab]

I've had lots of stupid people at parts stores to deal with.

Once I walked in an asked for a wiper switch for a '88 F-150, to which I was asked if that was a half-ton!! I was also asked which engine it had, as if that matters for the wiper switch.

I also have been asked if I have a manual or automatic when I ask for a clutch slave cylinder...

Thats just the laziness on the other side of the counter doing there job like robots instead of actually giving a damn. Sometimes its a slip up because they just do it all day long but most of the time they just dont care.

 

[Ghostcrafter]

Well, to be honest ... calling a parts store employee stupid because of them actually asking questions, sort of ticks me off.

Here's what you didn't consider. Our computer systems are arranged in a very specific setup, for example... for me to look up a wiper switch....

15.) Relays, Sensors & Switches > 4.) Switch, Modules & Related Parts > Year > Make > Model > Engine

And for a good reason ... while a wiper switch may not change, a temp. switch might. Since they are all located in the same section, the program prompts for any data that may change what it will show in that section. So the employee isn't being stupid ... they're doing their job, and answering questions that must be asked in order to proceed through the program. If you want to call someone stupid, try the people that write the programs. We'd all like to strangle them.

 

[Fotowntalon]

while funny, i wanted to kill someone at the same time
YouTube - Need for Speed: Episode 2 -- You Park It

 

[AllShallPerish]

while funny, i wanted to kill someone at the same time
YouTube - Need for Speed: Episode 2 -- You Park It

I bet the producer/writer of that clip, Has been beat by one to many DSM's in his day.

 

[2GbTalonGuy]

Well, to be honest ... calling a parts store employee stupid because of them actually asking questions, sort of ticks me off.

Here's what you didn't consider. Our computer systems are arranged in a very specific setup, for example... for me to look up a wiper switch....

15.) Relays, Sensors & Switches > 4.) Switch, Modules & Related Parts > Year > Make > Model > Engine

And for a good reason ... while a wiper switch may not change, a temp. switch might. Since they are all located in the same section, the program prompts for any data that may change what it will show in that section. So the employee isn't being stupid ... they're doing their job, and answering questions that must be asked in order to proceed through the program. If you want to call someone stupid, try the people that write the programs. We'd all like to strangle them.

True. I'd rather answer the "stupid" question and get the right part the first time, than not and have to come back and exchange it.

 

[SpawnedX]

I need a radiator for a 66 VW Bug.

 

[ktgurl87]

what? bug's don't have radiator's?!? then how do they cool down?! next thing i bet you're gonna tell me the motor isn't even under the hood

 

[SpawnedX]

I had a guy try to test me on that when I worked at AZ. I told him it would be 499.99 and we had it in stock. He didn't know how to respond.

But then again, the customers really are the stupid one.

"Can I put my Ford Escort's alternator on my Explorer?"

My response:

"You can do whatever you like, just don't call back here when it doesn't work. Or...you could just buy the proper one."

 

[ktgurl87]

i like looking up parts when the customer doesn't even know what they're driving. even for something as simple as an oil change. "what's the vehicle?" "uh, that blue one out there" "hmmm... looks like we are slam out of oil filters for blue cars" :\

 

[crash89]

I used to go into the parts stores so often I would just turn the computer my way and look up the parts for myself. The employees knew me by my first name and would ask me what broke haha.

 

[cam081409]

I used to go into the parts stores so often I would just turn the computer my way and look up the parts for myself. The employees knew me by my first name and would ask me what broke haha.

Lol i do this all the time!! saves them time and me the headace of dealing with stupid people!!!!


back to the topic, this was a few years ago, around here everyone is into hondas, myself too i must admit, but i still enjoy dsm, well anyways this kid told me he has a 99 eclipse with a SPOON motor in it straight from japan, I laughed at and said damn that must be fast.

 

[ktgurl87]

i honestly can't stand how everyone says people who work at the parts stores are retarded and don't know what they're doing. granted there are a good handful of people who honestly don't know anything about cars and shouldn't be behind that computer, but damnit... CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE THOSE OF US WHO DO KNOW SOME FREAKING CREDIT?! please and thanks.

 

[Ghostcrafter]

i honestly can't stand how everyone says people who work at the parts stores are retarded and don't know what they're doing. granted there are a good handful of people who honestly don't know anything about cars and shouldn't be behind that computer, but damnit... CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE THOSE OF US WHO DO KNOW SOME FREAKING CREDIT?! please and thanks.

Hehe ... glad I'm not the only one.

And for the record, to those of you who think we don't know what we're doing...

I'm an ASE Certified Master Mechanic, and ASE Certified Parts Specialist ... and I work at a store that breaks quota and records every month. I didn't get my job for nothing.

People like to say the customer is always right. However, in my experience ... more often then not, the customer is a complete flippin' idiot. A little knowledge can be a very dangerous thing, and the majority of people, only have a little knowledge.

Oh, and don't get pissed at me just because you don't know what you're driving, or what engine is in it. How the hell am I supposed to sell you the right part, when you don't even know what you need, let alone what it's even going on?

I've actually had a customer go so far as to call the police because we couldn't sell him a part for his car, when he didn't know what make, model, or year it even was. No info at all, yet it was MY fault? I think not...

Bleh...

People are idiots...

/Rant off

 

[cam081409]

DIDN'T mean to offend any of the smart people!! my experiences at auto parts stores are never good personally, granted there are a few people that work at the various stores around that actually do know something the majority of them do not know shit!! My apologies go out to those that are actually good at there job and for the rest or them that don't know shit thanks for the help but ill find the part my self.
<br>
And not knocking any ASE certified mechanics but just being An ASE certified mechanic dont mean you know what your doing either, again in my area there are some pretty dumb ass mechanics that are ASE certified also!! and this is from personal experience.

 

[MY1GDSM]

I used to go into the parts stores so often I would just turn the computer my way and look up the parts for myself. The employees knew me by my first name and would ask me what broke haha.

That's what I do... Well,Most the stores in town I goto have a computer at the end already turned around Only difference I'm not going in because my Dsm is broke

And not knocking any ASE certified mechanics but just being An ASE certified mechanic don't mean you know what your doing either, again in my area there are some pretty dumb ass mechanics that are ASE certified also!! and this is from personal experience.

So many people pull the ASE Certified card everytime its amusing Alot of them don't know $hit an are the ones asking the question because they don't know what the hell is going on to Begin with

Some of the best mechanics never bothered to get certified and have no plans to

 

[Ghostcrafter]

Funny, I've seen a lot of "best mechanics" brag about not having certifications, right as they are screwing up someone's car.

 

[MY1GDSM]

Sounds like something a UTI grad said, right before he asked "If the Tube for the Bov was suposse to go back to the intake an why 'Dirty' air from the Bov would go back to the Intake"