Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[DSMBanditFZ6]

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Saw this lancer while out working and I guess it's my cousins buddy's ride and he was told it had an evo8 motor swapped into it. I'm checking this thing out later today to see if it actually does. I heard a loud raspy sound and figured it was a civic then turned around to seen this. I kinda chuckled a lil bit

Ahhhhhhh!!! They say there the same, but there not the same!WTFWTFWTF


Sorry. Hurts my eyes.

 

[agarc023]

Just remembered this bit of conversation that my buddies had when we were young and dumb back in high school...

We were admiring a friend's new sentra se-r that he had just put a cold air intake on.

One friend asked the other "so when does it kick in?"

If that wasn't bad enough I remember being genuinely interested in the answer

 

[clizz3]

well does it?

Hell no he had the same motor as my lancer. A stock 4g94.

 

[2gprpletsi]

guy at work "What does DSM stand for?"
not to bad...except i work for chrysler z

 

[NHerron]

Does Size Matter?
Demands Support & Maintenance
Dynamic & Superseding Machine

Don't tell him the real one he must never know!

 

[91stocker]

I was recently told a story about a local guy who "built" his bottom end himself. He cranked the main bolts down by hand with a standard ratchet. The crank wouldn't spin so he backed them off "a bit" till it spun. Then ran the motor like that. And "spun" it did. He then went on a rant on how these motors are junk and he'll never "build" one agin . This coming from a guy who had no idea what torque spec or tolerances meant, yet alone how to measure them.

The amazing thing i guess is that the motor actually ran for 100 miles rofl. I guess that was his third attempt at building a dsm bottom end

 

[pointblank9957]

I was outside my house detailing my motor when a truck drives up and a young kid jumps out and says he has a car like mine. He then goes on to tell me that he is one of the fastest DSM 1G in the town. I say really,he goes on to tell me that he has a N/A 1.8 and that the 4G is st8 trash. The 1.8 is the motor that the EVO was made for. I just looked at him WTF.....Needles to say I saw him 2 days later getting walked by a stock cavalier.....

if your talkin about the 4g eclipse, then yes, it is such a piece of junk.

 

[Bud92gsx]

Not a dsmer, but I was at a gas station today..This old guy almost put deisel in his caddy..Then he filled some red gas cans in his trunk with deisel.

Even my girl was like WTF is this guy doing.. hes going to put deisel in his caddy.

 

[Diamond Star Werks]

my friend was telling me the other day how he was going to have the guy working on his car bore it out to a 2.3.

He told me the guy said he could do it but there would still be a small hole left that oil, would pass by. I have no clue wth either, were thinking.

I explained to him how that was impossible to do. Then I told him how he shouldn't have the guy do anything other than assemble his engine. He goes on to tell me how,well certified this dude is.

I just said it was his engine but if it were mine I wouldn't let that guy touch it.

 

[g4ebguy90]

Seeing how I buy lots of parts from people all over the place. I have scene it all.

My favorite was:

Me and my girl drove to wisconsin to trade some stereo stuff for a whole engine.
I'm sitting there waiting for this guy to show up.

All of a sudden guy flys in VROOOMMMMMM KRSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH from the gravel flying everywhere. Slams on the brakes. Just stares at me for like 10 seconds. Then just pegs the Rev Limiter for like id say another 10 seconds. Then just shuts the car off.

I just looked at my girlfriend and had a smirk. Got out, and this guy starts all ready about how his car
is pushing 500+ hp, hes got bla bla bla bla bla.

Pops the hood. THE FRICKEN ENGINE IS SITTING ABOUT 6 INCHES BELOW WHERE ITS SUPPOSED TO SIDEWAYS.
He starts freaking out O MAN MY MOUNT BROKE. He made some crappy custom mount that I guess fell apart on the way over to meet me. Like the cam cover was hitting the frame of the car. I just started laughing.

That was awesome... O btw that car was pretty much stock besides some crappy ebay turbo manifold. He had a 14b on it.

 

[NHerron]

All of a sudden guy flys in VROOOMMMMMM KRSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH from the gravel flying everywhere. Slams on the brakes. Just stares at me for like 10 seconds. Then just pegs the Rev Limiter for like id say another 10 seconds. Then just shuts the car off.

Sounds like something from a Will Ferrel or the Dodgeball movie

 

[TurboLaserRS]

My neighbors daughter wanted to have a bonfire. My yard is a lot bigger and open than theirs so we said that's cool they can do it here. They're in highschool i think.
Anyways I pull into the driveway in my laser and notice a Talon sitting there. So I walk down to the fire and ask who's it is. I talk to him for a bit, he's probably 16. I ask him if its turbo awd and he says 'yeah its the ESI model, its pretty fast." Cool dude.. . So then just for fun I ask him hey you want to run? What's faster 1g or 2g? He says "I don't race anymore, I blew up my head gasket and had to pay 700 dollars to replace it." I couldn't keep a straight face anymore so I said ' dang that sucks' and I walked in my house.

Reminds me of when I first got my Laser running, I took it to show my brother and my dad because they told me id never be able to do it. I pop the hood and my brother points to the stock air can and asks "is that the turbo?" Lmao.

 

[curt-s]

my friend was telling me the other day how he was going to have the guy working on his car bore it out to a 2.3.

He told me the guy said he could do it but there would still be a small hole left that oil, would pass by. I have no clue wth either, were thinking.

I explained to him how that was impossible to do. Then I told him how he shouldn't have the guy do anything other than assemble his engine. He goes on to tell me how,well certified this dude is.

I just said it was his engine but if it were mine I wouldn't let that guy touch it.

If it is indeed true that the mechanic said that, I would even let him assemble my engine.

What hole?

 

[brandonwh64]

This video had me thinking of this thread

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpzkqzeGf6Y

 

[ramsack]

I don't get how people say they don't have time to do anything.

 

[ramsack]

Nope.

Yep.

 

[greydelta38]

Him: "How many turbo's are on your car?"
Me: "Uh... just one." (trying not to laugh)
Him: "Oh, sweet. I have four superchargers on my Mustang"

I had to sit down to keep from falling over laughing.

 

[Dert]

This video had me thinking of this thread

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpzkqzeGf6Y

I really hope this was a joke video "absolutely nothing wrong with this car" he says immediately after pointing to the removed recirc tube that was removed so the MAF will read the air properly not to mention the fact that the small looking 3" exhaust magically fit in the stock location...wish mine woulda fit up there...

 

[g4ebguy90]

This video had me thinking of this thread

98 Eclipse GST For SALE IN MIAMI 3500 O.B.O - YouTube

This is so full of fail...

 

[Extremities]

I'm young and slowly learning how everything in a car works. My first and current car is a 98 Spyder Gs. It's nice to know all the things NOT to say .

 

[isantop]

I'm young and slowly learning how everything in a car works. My first and current car is a 98 Spyder Gs. It's nice to know all the things NOT to say .

It's pretty simply really. If you aren't sure, don't say it like you are.

Seriously, you don't need to know a ton about car to avoid sounding like some of these guys. Just don't talk above your head, and you'll look sensible, intelligent, and eager!

 

[DSMBanditFZ6]

I stop to talk to a guy the other day driving a red 96 n/t.

Me: nice n/t right?
Him: yeah it's fast
Me: a fast 420a chrysler motor?
Him: staring at me like im crazy) how do you know its a chrysler motor?
Meop the hood

So he pops it, lo and behold its a 420a. So I commence to telling him about turbo cars and how they are mistubishi motors etc etc....
And how I just built a 90 gsx.

Him: Uh, I used to have a 92AWD but it had a talon motor in it and that's a chrysler motor!

Me: "facepalm" ok, your right, have a nice day.......

 

[ilco187]

Some random idiot tried to tell me rare 1g's had 10 bolt motors. i said where in the [BLEEP] did you get that? he say well theres 6 in front and 4 in the rear i said uh no its stands for 6 bolt engine 4 bolt rear axles.

 

[GettinPaper]

o @ the guy selling his GST, "it pulls hard, i've raced it but only three nights"

 

[NHerron]

The guys at work bag on my car all the time because everyone around here is either a Ford or Chevy truck person. I'm pretty much the only car guy around. I won't lie, it gets on my nerves how people just love to knock something they have no idea about.

Anyway my co-worker hits me with one of these:
A Subaru WRX would slam you. Their turbos hit instantly.

Another:
A stock Spyder would beat your GSX.

Annnd another:
I asked him what he thought of a AWD Talon and he said they were cool. But he bags on my Eclipse GSX.


You guys can't even imagine how awesome it will be the day when I dyno this small setup and how surprised he'll be. Might even get him interested in real tuning vs old school, hopefully.