Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[xsboost]

i'm Canadian, close enough to being British. Not everybody can be american
Go Canada!

I thought Canadians were closer to French. Robin Williams once said that Canada is like a nice family who lives in an appartment over a biker gang. "Hey, Quiet down down there!! We got guns too we just don't shoot em all the time A!!"

 

[Unwythe]

I thought Canadians were closer to French. Robin Williams once said that Canada is like a nice family who lives in an appartment over a biker gang. "Hey, Quiet down down there!! We got guns too we just don't shoot em all the time A!!"

Robin Williams also said later on "Canada is like the apartment above a really great party." *stamps foot down* "Keep it down, eh?!"

 

[habitatguy187]

I recently heard a DSM'er say " I bought a 99GSX-pics " And then refused to tell anyone how much they paid for the car.

So really instead of saying something stupid, he didn't say anything at all, letting us all know that he made a stupid decision

 

[wht 92 talon]

today i bought a n/a winter beater off a guy and he started telling me about the car and he starts off wit he used to have this 1.8 car an all wheel drive wit a 2.5 ltr twin tubo and an extra turbo on the end of the exhaust.
i was like ummmm no you didnt dude this has been a 1.8 sense it rolled off the assembly line in 93. then he tried telling me he ran a 7.60 an the track spinning all four tires untill the finish line. the guys said it also dyno'ed out at 1600 hp and he said it got to be too much to handle so he had to put a 1.8 back in it when he added the fourth turbo.
i started laughing at the guy and he made a complete ass of himself infront of my parents too, because my dad knows a decent ammout about these cars and he knows shep has the quickest one right now if im not mistaken. but yea anyways the dude was wanting 750 for it an i ended up talking him down to 400 haha f*****g ricer!!!! but in the end i made out wit another winter beater alond wit the dynasty and the K-series blazer

 

[Dsmj89]

Well a friend of mine went to this kid's house who recently got a 2g auto. spyder gs about 4 months ago. The guy was full of it and my friend wanted to go because others had told him this kid with the dsm was talking so much crap and my friend wanted t oget a good laugh. My friend proceeds to open his hood, it's got intake, exhaust, mbc, nology wires, fmic, and the other guy has nothing, a complete stock looking 2.4 motor n/a. The kid then proceeds to take a look at my friend's gst and then points out to the motor out of nowhere and says to my friend, oh that motor has a valve that wouldn't let your ar go over 120, i can smoke you with no problem. My friend was laughing his ass off after they all left the kid's house.
And to top it off, he said his motor was an evo motor.

 

[stevestevesteve]

Driving with my buddy, doing like 85ish and he asks "when das the vtec kick in?" wtf.... slammed on the brakes and kicked him out

 

[Trav83]

Somone said to me once...

Him: Nice car why don't you turbo it?
Me: Because it takes a lot of time, money, labor, and parts to do a conversion
Him: No, all you need to do is bolt the turbo on and put on an intercooler

 

[Jeff99GS]

Iv met a guy with a 99 gsx that said he had an 8 bolt block!!!

Well the 420a is an 8 bolt. Maybe he had a 420a AWD

 

[Darkmood]

This is from a friend of mine at work with a stock 350z.

He goes out to his car and comes back in.

Friend: "Hey my remote for my car died can I borrow yours to get a new battery?"
I had my Grand Am that day so I let him borrow it.

Friend: "Damn it still won't open and I can't get into my car without the remote."
Me: "Why don't you use the key?"
Friend:"It's got keyless entry. There's no keyhole."
Me: "Gimme your keys."

We go outside I stick the key in the hole right by the handle, turn it and open the door.

Friend:"I didn't think it had a keyhole!"

*headdesk*

I stick the key in the ignition and turn it and nothing happens, I get out of the car and tell him his battery is dead beacuse he forgot to turn off his aftermarket fog lights (which he admits) Then jumpstart his car and walk away.

 

[xsboost]

a couple of nights ago I was in town getting my 880 injectors to a friend who works at a machine shop so he can fit them to my fuel rail when a guy with a turbo H22 prelude walks up (he used to own a 95 TSI). He asked what size injectors
me: 880s
him: what are you putting them in?
me: my talon
him: why don't you put them in something worth it
me: like your slow turbo honda?
him: Yea, talons are crap. I used to have a talon. it was pretty quick when it was running. I put a 16g on it right after I got it and was running like 28 pounds of boost, but I had to replace the motor like 3 times when I had it.
me: 28 psi on a stock fuel system!?
him: yea
me: user error

 

[1glaserturbo]

I have a few stories that are hilarious.

First: A friend of mine bought a 98 GSX for 9k. It had a bad starter, so he replaced the starter. When it still wouldn't start he sold it to me for $1500 (three weeks after he bought it). Then while looking over the car I noticed the started wasn't bolted up. I bolted it up and started the car no problem.

Second: Same guy bet me $200 that he could take the body off the frame of my new eclipse with 27 bolts? I collected $200 a few hours later, after he "searched" for the 27 bolts.

Third: (Not a DSM, but still funny). Talking to a guy today who said he had a 03 Cobra with a Kenne Bell 3.4L Supercharger making 1400hp (Kenne Bell's biggest supercharger for that car is a 2.8L)

No, but whipple makes a 3.4

 

[DSM_PWR]

Dumbest thing ive heard a DSMer say?? ...

Let me check some of the Newbie Threads real quick ...

 

[awdmonster1904]

dumb dsmer said to me that his non turbo 2g motor was the same out of the evo
I said to him that the evo is 4g63 turbo , your motor is out of a neon Hes like NO "you are wrong my car is jdm evo engine "
I had to show him a picture of a neon so he would understand

 

[quayzar590awd]

I was in ocean city one day @ a car show during a dsm meet I hosted back in 2005. I was just getting ready to roll back to the hotel and this kid in a Honda parks next to me. "hey i like them talons i have owned a few" i said sweet thanks here check it out i popped my hood for him. He looks @ everything up and down. he gets this look on his face, he asked me "hey why does your intake go into your turbo its not supposed to be there look at mine". I explain our Karmen vortex to him and he was like ohhhh I get it so the turbo pushes air out of the intake and sucks it back in and it gets metered right" My talon did not have an air meter he said . something like that i said. He asked me what kind of engine it has I said "it has a jdm six bolt 4g63t". He said " no it cant have a 4g63 they only came in the Mitsubishi eclipse and lancer evolutions" I have a six bolt Honda b16 and he walks over and counts one-six bolts on his valve cover . He counted mine and said "this isn't a six bolt it has more that must make it a lot stronger right". And the icing on the cake the one to end all I hit the ground laughing He said "you know that the talons are very popular in japan I have been there many times i got my talon from japan they sent a lot of them over here but they never caught on". " Who makes them anyways"....I said Chrysler and he was like "umm noooooooooo that cant be they come from japan" I went and pointed to the Chrysler badge stamped into my door he said "oh well they must have changed the body when they shipped it from japan"... . " I heard these cars cant make over three hundred horse power no matter what you do to them" "My friend had one that he spend over ten thousand dollars on in performance mods and it only put out 220 hp @ the wheels." I said good night and walked away and busted out laughing. He also claimed his stock b16 with headers fart can and intake made over 300 wheel HP and ran mid 10's in the quarter with no slicks. He said slicks only slow him down. He said his last talon was a 2001 special edition twin turbo v6 . OH HEY GUYS where can I buy some boost fluid I cant seem to find it anywhere

 

[DeNoZZo]

I was out cruising at a popular spot in town and I see a couple of dsm's and some other cars parked in this one lot. I stop and start talking to them, one thing leads to another and I end up popping the hood. This one dude says I have some custom shit thats not stock because my motor is mounted with the timing belt on the driver side. I tell him he's probably thinking of the non turbo 2g dsm's with the 420a motor, and he responds with "no man your wrong the older dsm's had the motor turned that way. And at this point I'm sitting there with a look on my face. I proceed to sit there and listen to their nonsense for a while then I left. Nice huh?

 

[awdmonster1904]

I was in ocean city one day @ a car show during a dsm meet I hosted back in 2005. I was just getting ready to roll back to the hotel and this kid in a Honda parks next to me. "hey i like them talons i have owned a few" i said sweet thanks here check it out i popped my hood for him. He looks @ everything up and down. he gets this look on his face, he asked me "hey why does your intake go into your turbo its not supposed to be there look at mine". I explain our Karmen vortex to him and he was like ohhhh I get it so the turbo pushes air out of the intake and sucks it back in and it gets metered right" My talon did not have an air meter he said . something like that i said. He asked me what kind of engine it has I said "it has a jdm six bolt 4g63t". He said " no it cant have a 4g63 they only came in the Mitsubishi eclipse and lancer evolutions" I have a six bolt Honda b16 and he walks over and counts one-six bolts on his valve cover . He counted mine and said "this isn't a six bolt it has more that must make it a lot stronger right". And the icing on the cake the one to end all I hit the ground laughing He said "you know that the talons are very popular in japan I have been there many times i got my talon from japan they sent a lot of them over here but they never caught on". " Who makes them anyways"....I said Chrysler and he was like "umm noooooooooo that cant be they come from japan" I went and pointed to the Chrysler badge stamped into my door he said "oh well they must have changed the body when they shipped it from japan"... . " I heard these cars cant make over three hundred horse power no matter what you do to them" "My friend had one that he spend over ten thousand dollars on in performance mods and it only put out 220 hp @ the wheels." I said good night and walked away and busted out laughing. He also claimed his stock b16 with headers fart can and intake made over 300 wheel HP and ran mid 10's in the quarter with no slicks. He said slicks only slow him down. He said his last talon was a 2001 special edition twin turbo v6 . OH HEY GUYS where can I buy some boost fluid I cant seem to find it anywhere

classic

 

[Rocky4G63]

Well, this happened with my 3g Eclipse, but it's related.

Go to get an oil change at shop.

Guy pops hood.

Guy: Nice Car

Me: Thanks

Guy: Where's the turbo?

Me:...

 

[srpjosh]

I was entertaining the idea of selling the GSX. I was selling it for 7500. I had a guy who was interested in the car, cash in hand, came and saw it, test drove it, the whole deal. He didn't buy it that day, he called me a couple days later, told me i was trying to scam him. The GSX "...came with a 2.4L turbo motor FWD, they never made a AWD eclipse..." He told me he was going to take me to court for trying to scam him. I told him I'd def. be there.

 

[slugo17]

When I first got my GS-T I was kicking around the idea of a 6 bold swap to one of my small block chevy friends, and he asked what my motor was, I said it was a 7 bolt, he looks at me kind of puzzled, and said, why the hell do you need a 7 bolts on the main cap?

 

[gregalmighty]

me: I need so and so parts for a 95 eagle talon
auto parts store guy: what car you say, amc eagle?
me: 95 eagle talon
auto parts store guy: my computer isn't showing a 95 eagle, who makes it?
me: eagle is the make, talon is the model
auto parts store guy: I don't have that listed, you sure its not an amc eagle?
me: nevermind, give me parts for a 95 mitsubishi eclipse
auto parts store guy: you know I don't think these mitsubishi parts will work on your car
me: yes they will, they're the same exact parts
auto parts store guy: no, no I think you're going to have to go to the dealer for them

In casual conversation with another car guy..

car guy: so you have 2 turbo talons? what turbos do you run on them?
me: well one has a 16g and the other just has a t25
car guy: wow a t25? thats a huge one isn't it??

No one ever seems to know why dsm's have a hump in the hood either. The most common response is "thats how you tell its turbo, thats where the turbo goes"

Another good one I have been asked a few times... Once while I was stuck in the snow..
guy: How did you get stuck, isn't that all wheel drive?
me: No its only front wheel unfortunately
guy: No its not, my buddy had a talon they are all awd
me: Not all of them
guy: Yeah they are, they never made fwd talons
me: Ok Ok, you win, its awd but my rear diff is broke, now just help me push!

 

[brian97gs]

I was at a firework show in my city and this dude i seen rolled up in a white eclipse parked it and came over to talk about mine he looked at my car and said pop your hood so i did and he's lookin nice 420a im like thanks he was like man i wish mine was a gsx awd im like what

 

[Trav83]

me: I need so and so parts for a 95 eagle talon
auto parts store guy: what car you say, amc eagle?
me: 95 eagle talon
auto parts store guy: my computer isn't showing a 95 eagle, who makes it?
me: eagle is the make, talon is the model
auto parts store guy: I don't have that listed, you sure its not an amc eagle?
me: nevermind, give me parts for a 95 mitsubishi eclipse
auto parts store guy: you know I don't think these mitsubishi parts will work on your car
me: yes they will, they're the same exact parts
auto parts store guy: no, no I think you're going to have to go to the dealer for them

In casual conversation with another car guy..

car guy: so you have 2 turbo talons? what turbos do you run on them?
me: well one has a 16g and the other just has a t25
car guy: wow a t25? thats a huge one isn't it??

No one ever seems to know why dsm's have a hump in the hood either. The most common response is "thats how you tell its turbo, thats where the turbo goes"

Another good one I have been asked a few times... Once while I was stuck in the snow..
guy: How did you get stuck, isn't that all wheel drive?
me: No its only front wheel unfortunately
guy: No its not, my buddy had a talon they are all awd
me: Not all of them
guy: Yeah they are, they never made fwd talons
me: Ok Ok, you win, its awd but my rear diff is broke, now just help me push!

Good stuff

 

[One Equals Two]

I guess I sounded like a retard a little while ago.

Autozone guy with a Talon TSi: Hey, nice DSM!
Me: Uh, yeah (didn't know what a DSM is at the time)
TSi: Pop the hood. (Pop), what do you have on it?
Me: Not sure, but it seems to be running 400 hp or so.
TSi: What turbo you running?
Me: Dunno
TSi: Injectors?
Me: Not sure.
TSi: Boost?
Me: 22 psi
TSi: What else has been done?
Me: Yeah like, I don't know.
TSi: What do you know?
Me: Practically nothing, I bought it 45 minutes ago...

P.S. After testing I only had 367 hp. Found out what a 16g was, a 6 bolt swap, ACT clutch etc. Also came to find out DSM means Diamond Star Motors....in case anyone was wondering.....

 

[slugo17]

me: I need so and so parts for a 95 eagle talon
auto parts store guy: what car you say, amc eagle?
me: 95 eagle talon
auto parts store guy: my computer isn't showing a 95 eagle, who makes it?
me: eagle is the make, talon is the model
auto parts store guy: I don't have that listed, you sure its not an amc eagle?
me: nevermind, give me parts for a 95 mitsubishi eclipse
auto parts store guy: you know I don't think these mitsubishi parts will work on your car
me: yes they will, they're the same exact parts
auto parts store guy: no, no I think you're going to have to go to the dealer for them

Ok, not defending the parts guy because he's obviously an idiot, but on our O'Reillys screens it comes up as AMC/Eagle, so for future reference just say yes.

 

[PIMking]

Ok, not defending the parts guy because he's obviously an idiot, but on our O'Reillys screens it comes up as AMC/Eagle, so for future reference just say yes.

That they do. I never worked at oriellys but I had friends that worked there so I basically did my own part searches on the computers.