Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[lacroixdp]

Tune a car blindfolded, indeed! I'd love to ask Dr. Fail, but I wouldn't understand

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[cyclonekid77]

It's not becuase I cant have a 4G63 or I cant afford one, becuase I had a 4G63 In my hands that I could throw into the car at any time, but as soon as I found out my 1.8L block was bored out, I wasn't trading it for the world. So I sold the 4G63 and started rebuilding my 4G37.

Id trade a bored out 4g37 for a 20oz. coke and a twinkie

 

[rush2252]

^^ that takes the cake. where in the hell did you find that?

 

[dsm-onster]

This is technically a dumb thing a DSMer has done, not said. But I just bought within the last month an awd 1993 talon with leather and original cdplayer with a 6bolt swap for $500. Guy did all the work. Said he snagged the 6bolt from a hyundai. I said well, it has the weaker high compression n/t pistons in it. He maintained a blank stare. Then I checked the block stamp. Its a 6bolt but a g4cn . It's the hyundai 4g67 1.8L motor But still I got a whole car minus the motor for a good price. The 4bolt rear and axles/cups sell for 500 alone.

. . . He also put orings in the head for the injector seals. It was leaking and running as good as you could expect. . .

 

[cyclonekid77]

^^ that takes the cake. where in the hell did you find that?

Ha, I thought it was a pretty good one. Its from the "Feared 1.8L" thread

 

[DyNamiC]

I had my hood up once showing a friend my car out in town. A guy walks up and says "Turbo car isn't it?" I say "Yeah, sure is." Without skipping a beat he points at my 2g MAS and says "Looks like a good sized turbo you got on here, make sure you got enough back pressure so you don't blow the heads."

 

[VETTE_50_TH]

I had my hood up once showing a friend my car out in town. A guy walks up and says "Turbo car isn't it?" I say "Yeah, sure is." Without skipping a beat he points at my 2g MAS and says "Looks like a good sized turbo you got on here, make sure you got enough back pressure so you don't blow the heads."

Where on gods green earth, do people come up with this shit. I mean, holy hell, there has to be a business or society, or cult spewing just the most utterly retarded ideas you could even come up with. I don't understand....

James

 

[DyNamiC]

Where on gods green earth, do people come up with this shit. I mean, holy hell, there has to be a business or society, or cult spewing just the most utterly retarded ideas you could even come up with. I don't understand....

James

I really don't know. You should have seen the look on his face. He was so serious!

 

[southrneclipser]

my friend in his lowered s10 put it in low gear and reved it up to about 5000 and said "look it'll only go 35 mph in fifth gear" i tried to tell him that his truck only had four gears and that was his engine reving up not what gear he was in but he was totally convinced that he was in fifth gear.

 

[motox-010]

Idiot the just showed up for college.
See a green 1GB GSX with a CF hood roll into the parking lot across from my buddy's house. We see it so walk over to talk to him (both of us have AWD DSMs) to see if he's cool.
So we get to talking:
I tell him I've got a boost controller and its at about 15 cause I'm not ready to do anything to my fuel system yet.

I ask him what he's running for boost.

He says 20 pounds because that's what the stock injectors and pump max out on.

Not that stupid, but he said it AFTER I said I was running 15 pounds because I wasn't ready to do anything to my fuel system.

So we say goodbye and as we're walking away (in the direction of our cars) he shouts "Do you guys wanna buy it? $3500."

 

[fede]

one time i had this kid, he askedme is it boosted and i said yes. then he said and v4 in line engine right?? i looked at him and i said sure and twin turbo too...

 

[rush2252]

Idiot the just showed up for college.
See a green 1GB GSX with a CF hood roll into the parking lot across from my buddy's house. We see it so walk over to talk to him (both of us have AWD DSMs) to see if he's cool.
So we get to talking:
I tell him I've got a boost controller and its at about 15 cause I'm not ready to do anything to my fuel system yet.

I ask him what he's running for boost.

He says 20 pounds because that's what the stock injectors and pump max out on.

Not that stupid, but he said it AFTER I said I was running 15 pounds because I wasn't ready to do anything to my fuel system.

So we say goodbye and as we're walking away (in the direction of our cars) he shouts "Do you guys wanna buy it? $3500."

Im missing the humor here...

 

[Anger890]

Talking with abuddy one day about the new engine I had installed. A young kid wanders over right as we are talking about how high I'm revving it.

Friend: So how high are you taking it?
Me: About 9,000, limiter is set at 9,500 RPM
Kid: Careful! Letting off at that high RPM the vacuum will pull your exhaust valve out the port.
Me: Your an idiot, please leave.

Another time:

Out tuning a buddys Galant VR-4, pulled into a gas station to adjust a few things and grab some drinks. A middle aged guy walks out and starts toward a late 90's Camaro, stops and listens to the Galant, then pauses and comes over to the car. He stops and says "don't drive that car any further, you have a huge air leak, (refering to the lope from the 272's) we both look at him and say the car is fine just boost leak tested it tonight to 35 PSI, no leaks its the cams. He insists for like 5 more minutes that there is a problem with the car, finally we leave, by this time my buddy and I are REALLY annoyed by this guy so we take off. He gets in behind us and attempts a ricer flyby. My buddy let him get side by side and then down shifted to 3rd, pulled away like the F-body was standing still. He tried that game 3 more times and then slinked off into the night.

I could go on for hours.

Here is another good one.

I get a call late (1 am) from the local rice king,

Rice King: "I need a tune, right now, got a money race and the car isn't running right."
Me: make a quick pull, tell me whats its doing (tuned the car previously, nothing had changed)
Rice King: "It just stutters and won't go into boost, only builds 10 lbs.
Me: You most likely have a boost leak, check all the clamps/couplers
Rice King: No man it needs a tune, I'll pay you $50 to fix the tune right now.
Me: OK, bring it over, I'll be ready

Fast forward 20 minutes, I'm in the garage ready with a can of carb cleaner.

Rice king: pulls in all fast hops out, gives me a $50, says lets go
me: hold up a second, I want to check some stuff
Rice king: it just needs a tune man
Me: we'll see, I checked his logs, everything was the same as I had set it up. I start spraying carb cleaner on all the couplers, find 4 leaks in like 20 seconds. I tighten all the clamps up and quickly boost leak check the car, good to go.
Rice king: Are we going tuning?
Me: No, I fixed the car, told you it had a boost leak.
Rice King: Do I get my money back?
Me: No, I fixed it, its 1 am. I'm going to bed.
Rice King: You ripped me off!
Me: You called and said you needed the car fixed, I told you how to do it, you refused and offered to pay me to "tune it" I fixed it, sorry.. tuned it. Good night.

Haven't heard from Rice King in quite some time

 

[Deriche]

I heard a guy try and argue his FMU was what drained his battery because the fuel pressure was too high.

Then he went on to say that his BOV was really the NOS shot. No sprayer, heater, bottle, nothing in the car at all. He didn't even have a button, but argued that the noice you hear when he shifts was from the NOS, not the BOV.


Another one of this guys friends had a N/A 2g, and he claimed it ran 11's with NOS, intake, exhaust and headers. When I asked him how he knew his times he said, My buddy timed me while running side by side with me. His car runs 15's though."

Im thinking to myself,"If his car runs 15's and you where side by side then where do you get off thinking 11's." but I just left that one alone.

Best ever, I asked this kid why it said GT-R on his Talon. It was a 2g, and pretty nice for a ricer. He goes on to tell me he did a RB25 swap into his RWD Talon. Now Im thinking, "Really thats sick, if he did it"

He pops the hood and the same GT-R sticker is on the 420a valve cover. He says,"See thats my RB25. It has twin turbos." When I asked him where they were and WTF he was talking about he points to his EGR system, the valve specifically and says,"Thats my boost regulator. You have to have one of those to run twin turbos." I then asked,"Well, so where are your turbos then?" He says"I relocated them to the trunk"

Just left that one alone as well.

ummmmWTF
...wow

 

[cedp]

this isn't a dsmer but it was pretty dumb. when i went 2 the mechanic to get my transmission looked at he asked me if my talon was worth all the work and money i said yea y do u ask. he said because talons don't have good engines

 

[LandoAWD]

Speak English.

This is your only warning.

 

[MikeV16G]

Speak English.

This is your only warning.

huh?

 

[lacroixdp]

huh?

Proper grammar, spelling, and coherent sentence structure - Rule #6 for posting. It gives the forums a more professional feel. Besides, people take you more seriously when you take the time to speak and write out proper English.

 

[Trav83]

this isn't a dsmer but it was pretty dumb. when i went 2 the mechanic to get my transmission looked at he asked me if my talon was worth all the work and money i said yea y do u ask. he said because talons don't have good engines

Text much?

 

[LD25Delta9]

I was at our local get together spot one evening, right after a turbo'd my car, and a guy with a white GSX saw the FMIC and asked if he could see my set up. I obliged the young adolescent and propped up the hood. He then began to ask me why I did a motor swap.....wow....and i'm supposed to be the one getting made fun of.
On another note: I had a friend that worked at a local dealership that once told an old stubborn customer that her turn signal fluid was low and she needed her "cooter" valve replaced. This was after checking into a "funny noise" coming from under the hood. After 6 visits and 10 test drives later she was not satisfied until they gave her a bill and performed the "work" that was labeled on the "work order."

 

[_97tsiawd_]

This was when I was driving me 2g, this kid in a brand new 2007 Civic SI rolls up and asks if I wanted to race, i say "no" and roll my window up. He persists so I give him one light to light, walk him, and when we hit the next light he says "the only reason you won was ### you have smaller rims than I do! if I had my stock ones on i would totally kill you!" My buddy and I just laugh and ignore him.

 

[PIMking]

dude you have been here long enough to know better. Jesus this is a funny thread and if you killed it I'm not going to be happy.

 

[rush2252]

The dumbest thing Ive heard is a DSMer from 2007 talk about street racing. Seriously the story would have been just as funny had you said you were at the track nobody would have known the differece.


blah..

 

[SmalltownDSMer]

i just had to share this with the thread because it definitely the dumbest thing i have seen.
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Wow. Jesus Christ that F****** DISGUSTS ME!! to the guy who owned that car.

420A or not, How could you just destroy a DSM like that???

 

[rush2252]

I saw that vid on youtube ^ LMFAO bahaha RICER!