Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[AlergicReaction]

ok so my turn. buddy of mine blew a head gasket on his neon with a srt4 motor swap 70 trim turbo bad as 1g neon. we had just done one so we weren't in the mood to do one again. so we called this DSM/dodge mechanic that was suppose to know his stuff well when we told him we had the rad fans on a switch he absolutely flipped $h!t saying he cant do that no wonder the HG's blown. the motor's running too cold. ok yes if it wasn't 100 degrees in FL all the time it may run cold but its pretty much inevitable that the motor is going to get hot then he was telling us how he was gonna set the car bak to factory settings its gonna be exactly how it was from factory dude we swapped an srt4 motor in they didn't know what srt was in 95 thennn what really closed the deal he asked if we had put the 4g63 tranny on it.... since it an handle turbo.... does that even effing bolt up? dude was a waste of time.

 

[kmj 4g63t]

A couple of months ago me and my friend just finished work. We had our cars on parked beside eachother (he has a 95 eclipse 420a). Some random guy comes walking toward us and starts getting really excited.

Looks at my car and says "YO MAN IS THAT GAUGE YOUR NOS!"
me:No? It's my boost gauge.
the guy: "YA THE BOOST TO SEE YOUR NOS"
me: In disbelief "ya man I have 6 bottles of nitrous in the trunk and it adds 900hp so I have 1300hp when I use it".
the guy: "I KNOW MAN THAT'S WHY I CAME OVER TO SEE BECAUSE I SAW THE GAUGE".
me: watch him walk away into a lime green del sol, THATS WHEN I LAUGH REALLY HARD!.

I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!

 

[lnvisiblejon]

best thread ever

 

[AlergicReaction]

This has a direct connection with this site

i had just signed on and my cousin's sitting next to me (no mechanic skills what so ever) HE then asks what's with the username?

Me-its a joke... my car has allergies.
him-whats that suppose to mean?
Me- it's constantly sneezing... you know between shifts.
Him- what like your windshield washer fluid is effed up or something?
Me-nooo the BOV
Him-WTF
Me- the freaking noise between shift... the air sound...you know woosh sha sha sha sha
Him- ohh yeah i thought that was like a leak or something
ME- ugghhh! i give up dude.

 

[rush2252]

Here is an excerpt from my Private Message box. Its a conversation between me and Dr. ####


"Hey

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey #### face why don't you stay the #### out of my thread, you obviously don't like me, my car sucks, and it is not unique so why do you keep reading about it and keep posting. Go away ###got, get a life and try building a real car.

Later DR ####"

 

[MakeIt2BreakIt]

this thread is the best thing for a laugh i have ever read

 

[PieEyedPiper]

Here is an excerpt from my Private Message box. Its a conversation between me and Dr. ####


"Hey

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey #### face why don't you stay the #### out of my thread, you obviously don't like me, my car sucks, and it is not unique so why do you keep reading about it and keep posting. Go away ###got, get a life and try building a real car.

Later DR ####"

I like this one.

 

[Evo_This]

There's an Autozone that I go to for parts and such and there's a couple of guys that work there with modded cars (A Teg and Civic coupe). So I'm in there getting some tools for an install and while at the counter to check out:

Teg: Hey man, nice car. I see you in here all the time.
Me: Thanks, yeah been installing some goodies.
Civic: (Jumps in) YEAH I been adding stuff too.
Me: (Looks back at Teg who rolls his eyes) Really? What you drive?
Civic: (Pointing hard out the window) That's my Civic right there, it's a beast.
Me: tease:Car is unproperly lowered, JDM Tyte fogs n such) Ooh..ok so what do you have done to it?
Civic: Hmm.. everything but a turbo and cams, you?
Me: (Mind you I've heard the car idle before and Teg actually walks away from the counter at this point) Me? Uh.. yeah me too so how much is this gonna be?

 

[PIMking]

I was at an orielly's putting an app in today and the chick asked me what I had for a motor in my stang. I looked at her and said "289" she freaked out like I told her I had a Lambo......

 

[dsm-onster]

I like this one.

There's so much more (in order):

"Oh wow you are sooooo cool. And I bet you are the kinda V8 guy that waste everyones time at the track doing huge burnouts in your trailer queen. Hey I got an idea, why don't we see if one of those pos can make a lap around a road course, then we'll talk. Racing is three parts, going, turning, and stopping, you my looser friend have only mastered one come talk to me when you have masterd all three." --Burnout youtube video and no track results . . . Can Brent Rau's car even be easily steered around the block? He's not 'masterd' that.

"You are missing the point of the [cyclone] manifold it isn't to flow more it is to flow less... at the bottom end therefore spooling up those big turbos faster" This will even be funnier in a moment. . .

" Okay you win, I am a retard." Actually the smartest thing a 'dumb DSMer' has said.

"OH and BTW, resonance tuning doesn't mean shit on a turbo EFI car. 5ft of piping, turbo, IC, inlet pipe. It would be damn near impossible to actually get it correct, but I suppose it is possible, but not worth the effort." Meanwhile, there's the Porsche 911 GT2 and it's Expansion Intake Manifold Pg 32 of the Porche Brochure. And for further laugh about resonance in compressed air, Why does a cyclone intake manifold work to speed spool again ???

. . . interns in the surgury room.

 

[LandoAWD]

Me- the freaking noise between shift... the air sound...you know woosh sha sha sha sha

Fix your surge issue.

Thanks!

 

[adrian52492]

First day of school i pull up in the parking lot and a kid has a 99 white eclipse so i walk over to him to check it out
me:hey bro gst.
kid:no its sr-t WTF.
me:u mean rs .
kid:no i put the srt4 v8 motor in here
me:how did u do that ?
kid:it drops right in WTFWTFWTF
me:wow ok so weres the turbo.
kid:i took it off because my dad says i need to learn to drive it first because if i put on the turbo i would not get traction to the rear wheels???????.
me:dam must be really powerfull and i walk off.
Now can someone pleaseeeeee tell me when dodge came outh with a v8 srt4 engine that drops in the rs ?

 

[talondave]

Dumbest thing i have ever heard is, Im going to buy another dsm!!! Lol

Like me!!

 

[rush2252]

"Later.. Dr. Turbo"

this ones classic and no matter how many times I read it, it just never comes off thr tongue right. Sort of like using "Honda" and "beast" in one sentence.

 

[cyclonekid77]

Heres my favorite pm that I got from the crimsondragon. He was a little wasted I think Here it is: Hey ######, shut the #### up aonnd go die in the sea of flames. Stupid ####. It's not alays about ho's faster or who's better looking. Yanno ### get the #### of this site. you aint even a dsmer mother####er prick ass btich. god dam ## makin me sober. get the #### off my pms u little bi*** punk nut swing cok suckin little #### rag. We still love you tim, and grace, and we cant forget daisy.

 

[rush2252]

. What? ^^^^

 

[PIMking]

First day of school i pull up in the parking lot and a kid has a 99 white eclipse so i walk over to him to check it out
me:hey bro gst.
kid:no its sr-t WTF.
me:u mean rs .
kid:no i put the srt4 v8 motor in here
me:how did u do that ?
kid:it drops right in WTFWTFWTF
me:wow ok so weres the turbo.
kid:i took it off because my dad says i need to learn to drive it first because if i put on the turbo i would not get traction to the rear wheels???????.
me:dam must be really powerfull and i walk off.
Now can someone pleaseeeeee tell me when dodge came outh with a v8 srt4 engine that drops in the rs ?

SRT4 is a submodel of the car. Techinally its not a neon srt4 is a dodge SRT4.

carry on.

 

[Trav83]

SRT4 is a submodel of the car. Techinally its not a neon srt4 is a dodge SRT4.

carry on.

If you wanna get technical, then yes that is true... but it really is a neon. I like the SRT-4 myself but when someone calls it a neon, I can't blame 'em, it's the same design with the exception of ground trim and a more sporty bumper and hood.

 

[southrneclipser]

these aren't dsm but one is still mitsubishi.

my mom in her montero: my car is makin a wierd noise.
me: like what
mom: i think it just needs oil
me: well when was your last oil change
mom: about 10,000 miles ago.
me:wow...

and also my friend in his 02 toyota celica told me he has five hundred horse power with only an intake, headers, and exhaust. and that it got 60 miles to gallon

 

[habitatguy187]

"Later.. Dr. Turbo"

this ones classic and no matter how many times I read it, it just never comes off thr tongue right.

Ahahaha, it was only a matter of time. He should just put it in his signature so it's easier to skip over reading it.

 

[rush2252]

some of us have a new nic. Nurse Turbo.

 

[420a_turbo]

I heard a guy try and argue his FMU was what drained his battery because the fuel pressure was too high.

Then he went on to say that his BOV was really the NOS shot. No sprayer, heater, bottle, nothing in the car at all. He didn't even have a button, but argued that the noice you hear when he shifts was from the NOS, not the BOV.


Another one of this guys friends had a N/A 2g, and he claimed it ran 11's with NOS, intake, exhaust and headers. When I asked him how he knew his times he said, My buddy timed me while running side by side with me. His car runs 15's though."

Im thinking to myself,"If his car runs 15's and you where side by side then where do you get off thinking 11's." but I just left that one alone.

Best ever, I asked this kid why it said GT-R on his Talon. It was a 2g, and pretty nice for a ricer. He goes on to tell me he did a RB25 swap into his RWD Talon. Now Im thinking, "Really thats sick, if he did it"

He pops the hood and the same GT-R sticker is on the 420a valve cover. He says,"See thats my RB25. It has twin turbos." When I asked him where they were and WTF he was talking about he points to his EGR system, the valve specifically and says,"Thats my boost regulator. You have to have one of those to run twin turbos." I then asked,"Well, so where are your turbos then?" He says"I relocated them to the trunk"

Just left that one alone as well.

 

[lacroixdp]

This one I just noticed recently - I got a pretty good chuckle out of it

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[rush2252]

I RoFL and the engine management. Somebody asked a few tech questions during the build and got
that reply. Did you see the dsmtalk link where he claims a guy in a lambo said his dsm would beat him? Lmfao

 

[dsm-onster]

I suspect self-made trolls have been posting in his thread the whole time "Dr. u the best". I get trolling PMs on my link forum ID from someone who couldn't be anyone but a lover. . . Considering his attitude, I'd think his frinds would just tolerate his crap for just a friendly chat about his turbo prowess. But, not this guy, either he's really a special friend or he's just another alias. So I thnk he's runnign link. But can't stomach giving Thomas and Dave the credit for his F&F 'flybies' after the new movie. He can 'tune a car blindfolded'. I'll bet he even gave jebus attitude when he saw him.