Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[AG 305]

JUST SOME OF THE DUMMEST THINGS IVE HEARD ANYONE SAY

my civic has so much power if i put it in reverse it lifts off the ground alittle. IM SERIOUS WATCH!!

Whats the difference between a turbo and a turbocharger!?

Guy looking at a nitrous bottle: WHOA! thats a turbo booster right!?

 

[turboglenn]

He wasn't a DSM'er but i had a kid drive up to me at my old apartment and ask if i wan'ted to race his Pontiac grand prix (about a 95 or so) then he proceded to tell me about it's JDM AWD conversion, 600 HP supercharger and on and on he went with these rediculous stories of his grand prix. I then told him. I'm only putting down about 350 horses, you'd smoke me so i'm not up for racing. The guy looked like i just made his day

THe funniest part was him telling me about all the "JDM' parts on his american made pontiac... They must have some bad ass baretta's corsicas and so forth in japan i said to him

 

[r1991_4g63t]

it wasnt a DSMer, just f'in hilarious. it was a saturday night around 7ish at the parts store i worked at, dead and boring as all hell. til this very nice lookin redhead came in. when the door buzzed my co worker ryan came up front. she proceded to come up to me and hand me the list of stuff her boyfriend gave her.
item 1 on the list: mufflers bearings.... a common one so i didnt start laughing yet
item 2: blinker fluid.... kinda made me chuckle a little bit.
but by far the funniest was item 3. i had to show ryan the list to make sure i was reading it right, which he then started laughing hysterically and went in back.
the third item was a flux capacitor.
so im trying my hardest not to laugh but cant help it. she asks whats so funny. so i explain to her that the first two dont exist and the flux capacitor is what makes time travel possible and that her bf must have wanted to get rid of her for a little bit. needless to say i feel sorry for her bf when she left ### she was NOT happy.

 

[Red97Eclipseboy]

^^^HAHAHAHA! Her boyfriend is a dick!

 

[r1991_4g63t]

^^^HAHAHAHA! Her boyfriend is a dick!

yes but after she left i laughed so hard i started to cry. the muff bearings and blinker fluid had me smiling but once i read flux capacitor..... this was my face ----> WTF

 

[AG 305]

blinker Fluid!? WTF wooooooowwww l

 

[blcknspo0ln]

it wasnt a DSMer, just f'in hilarious. it was a saturday night around 7ish at the parts store i worked at, dead and boring as all hell. til this very nice lookin redhead came in. when the door buzzed my co worker ryan came up front. she proceded to come up to me and hand me the list of stuff her boyfriend gave her.
item 1 on the list: mufflers bearings.... a common one so i didnt start laughing yet
item 2: blinker fluid.... kinda made me chuckle a little bit.
but by far the funniest was item 3. i had to show ryan the list to make sure i was reading it right, which he then started laughing hysterically and went in back.
the third item was a flux capacitor.
so im trying my hardest not to laugh but cant help it. she asks whats so funny. so i explain to her that the first two dont exist and the flux capacitor is what makes time travel possible and that her bf must have wanted to get rid of her for a little bit. needless to say i feel sorry for her bf when she left ### she was NOT happy.

lll that can't be real!? WTF

 

[50trimmed1g]

My neighbors friend has said so many stupid things I can't remember them all for some reason. Here is one of them though--- "My car shakes because I need an oil change". Oh yeah, another one, "all wheel drive is faster on the freeway but from a take off fwd is faster".

 

[AG 305]

Someone on a local forum posted a want to buy ad for a 2g stock turbo.

I Pm'ed her this:

Hi, I have a perfect condition t-25 with no shaft play, 100k, it has never smoked and is in excellent condition, let me know if interested!




This is the PM I got back:




Hmm, I don't know much about the t25, I was looking for a stock turbo. What kind of horsepower gains can I expect from the t25?

You Can Gain About 100HP Easily!! ! I Wouldve Told Her That Just To Screw With Her Dumbass For Alittle

 

[JeanDSM]

I was at a friends house and we had a car conversation as always.. we were talking about hondas and a guy we meet who owns an impresa rs said

Impresa dude: Hey I know How vtec works on dohc cars, anytime lower than 5500rpm the intake cam is on and the exhaust cam is off, then at 5500 or higher the intake cam shuts off and the exhaust turns on, but how does the vtec works on a sohc civic?

me:WTF

Impresa dude: he was like and he left

later a friend of mine who owns a 1g tsi, came and i told him everything he couldnt beleive it was true also my friend never meet the impresa guy who later came back and after meeting this dude without knowing that he was the one who said the dumb thing he says..

1g tsi friend: hey listen what this guy told me (me) he told me that some crazy dude thinks that vtec works like yada yada yada. (laughing) you know what people like that should be killed they must never existed because they can reproduce and make this world end a little sooner.

 

[D20mobile]

Some second gen owner asked me if my car was Ford probe

 

[rossb]

Some second gen owner asked me if my car was Ford probe

did you ask him why he drove a girls car? .

I had some huge toolbag on campus with a riced out gst tell me his t-25 could push more lb/min than my evoIII 16g. I asked him if his park bench helped it do that, and he walked away.

 

[cs82685]

Didn't want to make a new thread so here's one, not from a DSMer but about some DSM parts

arent DSM injectors 440's stock??? your gunna lean out hella quick bro...even with low boost...

some nice greentop 42 pounders would be more than enough to suit your needs...

Wait what??? First you say he's going to lean out quick with 440cc injectors (and dsm stock injectors are 450cc, well autos are 390cc) but then you say some nice 42lb injectors would be more than enough. You do realize they are virtually the same size injector right. The conversion rate is approx. 10.5:1 so...

42 x 10.5 = 441cc

 

[thatblondechik]

Ok, that I know of, I'm one of two girls in the Central Texas area that actively mods a DSM (the other one has a pink Auto 1g...that thing is frakin' insane!)

Anyways. I live in a small town about 30 miles east of Austin, and there are a few DSM's around. One day, it's about 4:30 so the High School had just let out for the day, I see this <b>LIME</b> green Eclipse with a big ol' shopping cart on the back, horrid body kit, and some 12" muffler. I pull into the Taco Bell to grab some food and decide I'd rather go in than go through the drive through. I walk in, and my brother is there, so I give him a hug and we start talking a little bit. But he keeps looking over my shoulder.
I turn around to see the <b>LIME</b> green Eclipse parked right next to me, and about 5 dudes huddled around my car and the open door of their car is bouncing on my door...not cool.
Now my brother being protective like he is, wouldn't let me go out and tear them a new one by myself, so we head out there and he's like 2 steps ahead of me and gets out there first.

My Brother : "Hey!, Watch your door, man. That's not F*$#in cool."

Lime Green Retards: "Oh, sorry, dude. But really, you shouldn't leave your car running like that. It's bad for your headers"

Me: "<b>MY</b> car actually, and it's not just left running...it's the turbo timer (and like a champ, my car shuts off RIGHT as I say turbo timer...gotta love it)."

Lime Green Retards: "Oh, well that's not good for your headers"

Me: "Ummm...ok"

So I walk back into Taco Bell to grab my food thinking that was the end of it. My brother is eating there with his girlfriend so he stays behind. Lime Green Retards had pulled their car around the other side so I didn't have to worry.

I get about two mins down the road and my brother calls me,

"Hey, you know one of those dudes is talking about how he swiped you Tinkerbell vinyl off your car."

You see, I've got this really cute little vinyl that has Tinkerbell and says "Wanna Play?" Sure enough, I look in my rearview, and it's not on my hatch.

So I turn around and start heading back, as soon as they see my car pull back into the parking lot, those dudes start piling back into their car. I pull my car up RIGHT behind them so they can't back out.

Lime Green Retard: "Hey! WTF, are you doing?! Move your @$$!"

Me: "What in the hell do you think you're doing swiping %$#$ off my car!?"

I'm flaming pissed at this point, and all these hispanic guys are getting out of the car while I'm in the drivers face screaming at him. My brother comes out, and starts trying to get me to move my car, and all the while those dumb*$#$@ are yelling that they could smoke me, and it turns into one of those arguments. He starts saying he has a gt35r on 4g63. And me being the B%$H that I am, I start asking,

"Where's the Front Mount? Didn't hear a BOV when you were driving earlier...Pop the hood"

My brother all this time is fishing for my keys in my pockets and pulling my car out of the way while I'm yelling at this guy.

"Man, I'm not gonna pop it for a chick, you don't even know wtf you're talkin about!"

So he get's back in his rice rocket, and starts to pull away, and just as he's passing me (I'm still out of my car standing) I am just SOOOO pissed off that I kick the CRAP out of his rear bumper...and the SOB <b>FALLS OFF!!!</B>

I couldn't have been happier. I just turned around, got in my car and drove off.

Kinda long...sorry, but I just HATE when I get downplayed just because I have boobs...that really just...ARGH!

 

[christ]

One time I went to Autozone to buy some spark plugs for my GST and the guy said: Oh you got an Eclipse, I got one too!
me: Sweet, what kind?
him: The GS, it's right there. *Points to car across parking lot with no front bumper*
me: Who stole your front bumper?
him: Don't ask......well do you really want to know what happen?
me: I asked, right?
him: I was going 140 down the freeway and hit a piece of tire rubber and took the bumper right off.
me: Wow, 140 MPH right? Sure it was that fast?
him: Yeah man. Got the full exhaust and intake.
me: Impressive...
him: Yah but my buddy got's the AWD model, with the V6.
me: Theird and fourth gens didn't come with AWD.
him: No man, like our cars, a 97 or something. It's the AWD V6 model.
me: Oh the rare one....
him: Yeah man. That thing is fast.

 

[housegsx]

So he get's back in his rice rocket, and starts to pull away, and just as he's passing me (I'm still out of my car standing) I am just SOOOO pissed off that I kick the CRAP out of his rear bumper...and the SOB <b>FALLS OFF!!!</B>

I couldn't have been happier. I just turned around, got in my car and drove off.

Wow! Great story. That is just hilarious.

 

[videogamemaster]

So he get's back in his rice rocket, and starts to pull away, and just as he's passing me (I'm still out of my car standing) I am just SOOOO pissed off that I kick the CRAP out of his rear bumper...and the SOB <b>FALLS OFF!!!</B>

I couldn't have been happier. I just turned around, got in my car and drove off.

Kinda long...sorry, but I just HATE when I get downplayed just because I have boobs...that really just...ARGH!

Just read through this whole thread and it made my night and to this post wish there was more chicks that knew about cars... wouldn't be complaining hah

 

[Flipboi89]

Numberous times I had people who owned gst's or gsx's asked why i turboed a 420a and not jsut throw a 4g63t in it... lame

Also I had some kid who talks shit about how supras are bomb and says he knows all about them and he doesnt even have his license. I open my hood and he asks wheres the turbo? I laughed so hard and I poitned straight down and its sitting right in front. Idiot..

 

[BkzProblem]

Ok... from dsmer's,
1 - I might reuse this rod, does this look bent to you???

2 - what do I need a torque wrench for (when rebuilding motor) I've done this already, I know how its suppose to feel??

3- I'm taking the gt30 off to put on a gt35r... the 30 is too laggy.... smh....

From non dsmers....1- there's a submarine on my dash board.... (check engine light)

2- ooh I drained the oil for you guys before I got here so it wouldn't take a long time to do my oil change..... (drove the car to the shop)

3- I lost the 710 cap on my engine....(oil cap upside down)

4- I didn't know how much oil I had in my engine so I filled it up until I saw it from where I was pouring it from.... (oil cap) I'm a mechanic and I hear all sorts of dumb stuff all day....

 

[Detective Coating]

I was told a few days ago that a stock longblock is easy and reliably made to 500hp and that the kid ran an 11.9ish on 510 inj. 30psi on a 16g with c16 no nitrous stock longblock with no tuning whatsoever. Lol

 

[shredwin]

"oh I thought the crank and all 4 rods and pistons could come out through the bottom as all 1 piece"

 

[1_2befast]

I was looking at buying an engine years back for my El Camino. My uncle wanted to know if I was buying a long block or a short block 327 because the long block are better and hard to find because they didn't make many. He had no idea one had heads and one didn't. He thought the block design was different.

 

[talonsteve25]

Not dsm related, but a buddy of mine thought the air brakes on city busses were bov's. Lol i dont even answer stuff like that anymore, high school is bad for kids like that.

 

[rossb]

Not dsm related, but a buddy of mine thought the air brakes on city busses were bov's. Lol i dont even answer stuff like that anymore, high school is bad for kids like that.

Are you sure it is the air brakes? Some of the buses from here have turbos on them, and I bet they are massive.

 

[talonsteve25]

Ya im sure, it never sounded when the bus let off to slow down. It would just happen at random when it would stop to pick people up, air brakes

Did you guys know that short ram intake is good for 20 hp? I never knew. same kid