Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[Dsm4lyfe12]

bypass valve venting to atmosphere... good sign the previous owner didn't really know/care about what he was doing...

 

[2g_DSMer]

i dont know if any one has had this one happen to them....

customer asked if they could us radiator stop leak for there radiator thats leaking

me.. ya (thinking to my self thats what its for)

customer.. well can you help me find out were to put it because the guy that had it before told me it had a leak..

me.. (pointing at the cap) thats were u put it in

customer.. is that going to fill the one in front (pointing at his fmic) because thats the one with the problem?

me..

 

[b3n_91]

one night me an my cousin an his girl pull up to a party him in his gsx her in her gs an me in my gst yes we had to be fashionably late but anyways we're in the front talkin to some guys about our cars..
guy: those eclipses are nice man theyre really good fast cars i always wanted one..which is yours??
me: the convertible one i wanna get a 2g talon ( tsi awd )next
guy: na talons are cheap they always break down
me: dude eclipses an talons are the same thing
guy:.....


then im circling the mall parking lot lookin for close parkin an jus decide to park in the back far from everyone an a del sol parks next to me i get out my car an del sol owner
him: hey man is that your eclipse?
me: yeah.. (but i was thinking...uhh did you jus not see me step out of it??)
him: its a nice car
me biting my tongue not wanting to say it: thanks...nice del slow...
yes i complemented a honduhhh but i didnt wanna be mean to the guy even tho i threw in the del SLOW part idk if he caught haha

 

[avenged5]

"Dude check this out, I can rap to your idle surge...."

 

[dsmrollerz90]

"Dude check this out, I can rap to your idle surge...."

I 'ed in the middle of class!! HAHAHA!!

 

[Aries]

I've got a few good ones, although only one is a DSMer. Kid just picked up his 1ga n/t eclipse and wanted me to look at it for him.

Him: Dude, I got the 2000 series motor with a CAI, water pump, timing belt and straight-piped exhuast with a cherry bomb. Do you think I could take you on the track?

Me: Ehh, no. Although this would be a nice DD ya know? Seems like someone took car of it by replacing alot of the regular maintnance stuff.

Him: Oh those aren't regular parts bro, see it's got a racing belt and high output water pump so I can put my turbo on. Will you sell me your car as a parts car?

Me: Uhh, no sorry. I have way too much time and money into my car to part it out.

Him: What ev bro, I don't need your stuff anyways cuase I just got a race chip. Let's take em to the staging lines and run 'em.

Well, long story short, he ended up getting destroyed by my g/f's 3g GTS...15.2 at 94 mph vs a 17.5 at like 70.

I once had a Honda kid tell me I needed to get vtech for my cbr1000 so that I could hang with his "Rex". See, my brother has a retired police interceptor and the things we'd hear from the people who would come hang out with us was crazy !

 

[dsm4life91tsi]

A know kid thats got a evo8 from has dad and one night at the hangout, he figured that he would see what its got, so he race some stock mustang gts, and a couple civics one turboed one with a b20, so after he got beat time after time also he couldnt launch or shift, so after all the racing they ask why he lost so really didnt stay anything then after like 10mins, he did the old pop the hood check the engine like he knew what he was doing, so after that he says i forgot to turn the intercooler on, he never showen up again.

 

[tonypanda]

okay so i was with my girlfriend we went out to eat and my old friend josh pulled up in his gsx . he started talking sh!T about my girls 97 rs calling it a p.o.s and all that so i asked him what he had under the hood so he opens it up and tried to tell me that it had a fully built 420a in it with twin turbos pushing over 750hp i just looked at him and just agreed with him people are just so dumb when they have a dsm and have no knowledge of them at all ill admit im new into the dsm world but i know alot about them already and hes a mechanic. my girl opend the hood of her car and he said that her rs had a 4g63 in it (its actually a 420a) and it also dosnt help that he cant drive at all either and was talking all this stuff an dmy gfs bone stock 97 rs 420a with over 220k on it beat his 95 gsx 4g63 turbo with only 112k

 

[iBoostDSM]

After I parked my car at school I walked in the door and right away this kid ask me if that was my turbo. I was like ummm yeah, smiled and just continued walking.
kind of stupid but it's the best I got so far.
I have a little turbo decal on my tail light.

 

[3kgt2nv]

previous owner. car runs great just needs paint.

me: dude compression is shit and it looks like helen keller did you work. this car is a mess.

previous owner. it was fast before it blew the head gasket.

me why did it blow the hg?

previous owner. it was a built motor that couldnt handle all the power it was making

me what turbo and boost level?

previous owner. its a 14b set at 12 psi. its a bigger turbo and alot more boost than stock.

me. its a 90 a 14b was stock and 12 is only like 3 or 4 pounds more than stock.

previous owner. yea but it was fast i raped my friends b16 hatch

 

[ridelowandslow]

i try to avoid auto parts stores, they never hire anyone who has done more then change their oil once or twice. but anyway, i went to see if i could get a o2 sensor bung plug the other day since the exhaust i was installing on someones car had 4 bungs with 2 sensors, so i walk into autozone and ask the guy at the computer, "hey do you guys have any o2 bung plugs i can grab?" and hes like, " sure let me look" so he gets tappin and types in "o2 bunk plug" and i was like no no no " o2 bung plug" oh oh my bad he says and then begins typing "o2 bump plug" and i said "no bung with and N G" and he types in "o2 bunk plugng" and i was just ok yep thank you and walked out

 

[Tanro]

Shoulda went to a muffler shop. I usually just hit my normal one, and they tell me to grab as many as I need out of the bucket of them they have.

 

[ridelowandslow]

Shoulda went to a muffler shop. I usually just hit my normal one, and they tell me to grab as many as I need out of the bucket of them they have.

I was there picking up a gasket, so i thought that i'd ask

 

[avenged5]

I read the FWDs were limited to 137 but the AWD were unlimited.

A friend that had a '90 AWD in '92 said he could reach the end of the 240km/h speedometer with ease.

Oh and btw i topped my n/a out at 133. Still had gear left but no more pull. . And i know. Dumb. But I was in high school in a sporty car. I had to do it. And Im pretty sure the n/t's had a lot shorter gear ratios.

 

[cj8990]

Parking lot of a grocery store i see a 2gb with the turbo spoiler so im like ooh ima go park next by it so i can walk by and check it out.. as i park some kid comes by and open the trunk and asks me about my car as i walk by...

kid: hey man your bov sounds sick
me: oh yea thanks
.. he proceeds to ask me every question about blow off valves..
me: (changing the subject) yea mine is a T but im converting it to a gsx as soon as i find a good donor car
kid: nice
me: is yours a T or an X
kid: what?
me: is yours a gst or gsx?
kid: oh mine was a gst but it has a gs motor swapped in and converted to rwd
me: (me not wanting to be mean) ohh... nice...
kid: yea its definetely got some illegal parts in it (while patting the hood of the car)
me: alright man see ya.....

 

[robtheturbopric]

"I owned bother a N/A 4g63 1g, and a handful of DOHC 5-Speed saturns. You know which was faster? The Saturns. Maybe you won against someone with a blown headgasket, or someone that couldn't find 3rd... But my bone Stock SL2 was doing 14 second quarters. Thats about what a turbo dsm does stock." ha ha posted by tanro in the "mom i want a dsm" thread actual 1/4 mile times for these cars is 16.3 must be one hell of driver to to shave 2.3 seconds off your 1/4 without any mods. ha ha

 

[Alan11]

yesterday the guy at the auto parts store told me
"if your car is turbo it can't be DOHC"

i thought, does he really sell parts to people..?? !!

 

[gstgod]

the guys brother whom i bought my car from tried telling me the other day that my 97 gst, bone stock, was at one point pushing 25 lbs on a t25.

 

[97gstman]

me and my friend went to go see how much it would be to get my car painted a different color, and when we get there i start talking to the guy then we go outside and check out my car and hes like "i did a eclipse convertible just like this but it wasnt the spyder though" then me and my friend look at each other likeWTF then we start cracking up!!

 

[avenged5]

"Dude, sweet BOV!"

"Ummm, my car is n/a and thats my clutch squeaking."

 

[Imback]

How much power can i make with these parts.

 

[1gdsmftw]

was talkin to a guy at work (i work at autozone)

me. sweet you got yourself a 2g talon!

guy. yea its awd

me. 4g?

guy yup and the cool thing about the talon vs the eclipse is it has the lancer driveline...

me. i doubt that

guy. no i did my research

me where?

guy wikipedia man

 

[98GSXin]

Just chilling, minding my own business at costco for gas and the attendant walks up to talk about my car. He proceeds to tell me that he used to have a non-turbo 2g that he swapped a supra 2jz into..... I asked him how he made it fit, transverse or a rwd swap just to hear how far he wanted to push the dumb envelope. He said that he just dropped it in and bolted it up the the stock tranny... what. the. [expletive].

 

[my98gsx]

This one took the prize; I was talking to a kid locally that was building a 1g GSX. He said he was going to do some amazing never before done build - he then went on saying that he was running out of room under his hood, (you know because of alllll those performance parts ) his solution to this probleam was, "Yea since theres alot going on on the passengers side of the engine bay im going to make my intercooler piping run on the drivers side, itll be ultra short to improve spool time". When I asked him how he planned on doing that he said, "im just going to mounrt my intake manifold upsidown, and then the throttle body will be on the drivers side!!" (duh... my mistake, why didnt i think of that... !!) idiot!

 

[acorn3583]

My friend always came back from class at our local cc and he would tell me about this kid who was dead set convinced that putting a computer fan inside his intake would create a vortex effect and give him something close to a turbo boost at the simple flip of a toggle switch... I've met the guy and made the mistake of mentioning that I was building a 1g gsx... I pretended to sleep for most if the bus ride (after my ipod died) but he insisted we room together once we got to the hotel because we got along so well on the ride there...