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Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

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we were all at a car meet one day and this kid that no one likes was hangin around... he drove a datsun truck and though it was the coolest thing since sliced bread...
we used to always tell him that one blinker was brighter than the other and he needed blinker fluid...

BUT the best one that we had said to him by far was:

US: dude your not getting any traction
HIM: i know man
US:i think its because your tires are filled up with summer air and its winter time
HIM: where do i get winter air from?
US:just go down to discount tire and ask them to replace it for you... its free of charge

needless to say the very next day this idiot went down and asked if they could replace his tire air with winter air so he can have better traction... man good times
 
Found this on Ebay its from a guy tryin to sell a 91 tsi awd....

built this car out of two cars, combining the best parts and investing a ton of time and money. I finished the project and don't have the need for a third vehicle, so I'm putting it up for sale. This is the fastest car you'll find for the money!

New 2G lifters.

Ported wastegate.

New ported 02 eliminator

New 3 inch stainless steel turbo back exhaust

New 3 inch Magnaflow straight through muffler

New SlowBoy Manual boost controller.

New Maximum Performance 30 PSI boost gauge.

New timing belt.

New drive belts.

New head gasket.

New valve cover gasket.

New plugs and wires.

New camshaft seals.

New 02 sensor

I planned to put a ported 2G manifold on it but never got around to it. With that, the car should make around 350 horsepower............ Damn !!!!! I need on of those manifolds!!! LOL
 
last week I overheard this new guy saying the altima he used to own could walk on my Boss's STI.
I had to interupt the conversation and tell him if my car cant take the STI, there was no way in hell an altima would. His reply was "last time I drove it a cop clocked me at 162mph", I reply "not possible".
then he says it had a 350z motor in it. I had to walk away right then without another word. OMFG is he serious?
also I thought BOV's where aftermarket at one point too.

You do know that the third generation V6 models had the VQ35 in it right? Same exact engine as the Nissan 350z....:D
 
a dsmer' didn't say it, but i was just watching passtime, and it is ladies night i guess, so there are two ladies and ken trying to predict the 1/4 time. so the next driver comes up with some chevy. he is like it has a 406 small block chevy, turbo 350, posi..... so when it was the ladies' turn to ask questions, she asks him if it is turbo, the driver says yea, "turbo 350" so the idiot turns around and asks how many pounds of boost are you running????? LOL rofl ROFL
 
Dumbest thing I heard from a a non DSM'er was when I had a '89 Dodge Shadow ES turbo when I was in Highschool. This kid who was wicked into "American Muscle", mind you at the time he had a 1982 Chevy Monte carlo V6. Anyways I popped my hood and he went " holy shit this things twin turbo" and pointed at my strut towers ROFL.
 
I was at work, and my friend had just gotten a little 99 Integra GSR. Completely stock except for the short ram intake, with 140k miles on it. For $10,000. (The day after he bought it from a dealership-out-of-a-trailer, the check-engine and check-oil lights came on, and it kicked out of gear while he drove it on the highway.)

I overheard him talking to someone at work, saying
"Yeah? Well at least I don't drive a chick car like Xander"
in which I replied
"Mhm? you're putting out how much? 170 hp at 7500rpm?"
"More like 230" (He only said this because my car was pushing about 210)
"Oh really? Your short ram intake gives you 60?"
"It's a lot more than you think"

A week later I ask
"Hey man, have you changed your oil yet?"
"No."
"well hey man... do you know how to change your oil? If not, we can go to my garage and I'll teach you"
in which he got pissed off and said "I KNOW HOW TO CHANGE MY OWN OIL, I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP"
and defensively I said "Fine. Describe how to change your oil."
"Well, first, you take the oil tank out. Then, you pour out all the oil, and then take the tank apart. Then, you clean the insides out, and put it back together, and put it back in. It's easy."
Then he asked me this (and I couldn't keep my composure)...
"I just don't know if I'm supposed to use regular, or diesel"

several days later I was his designated driver from a bar, and I said
"Hey man, your check oil light is on again"
"Oh crap... we need to get some oil. NOW"
"Well, we can stop by wal-mart on the way back. Do you know what kind of oil you're supposed to use?"
"I've been using 10w40"
"Really?.."
"Yeah... I'm really mad though, this is the third bottle I've had to put in this week"
"What do you mean your THIRD bottle??? Have you even your CHANGED your oil yet?"
"No, I will eventually. But right now I REALLY NEED to put this oil in!"
"please don't...."

certainly enough, the next day as I drove behind him, *put put put black smoke black smoke...***

There's a million and one things that he's said that have torn me up laughing. he got mad at me for asking if he needed help putting his new exhaust on. He later threw away a perfectly good exhaust, because he couldn't figure how to bolt it on...

Typical ricer. Has an AEM sticker on his window, but only has an injen short ram intake; which he proceeded to tell me was a cai. Talks about racing at the track, but hasn't driven faster than 40mph because the car starts shaking and he's scared he's going to blow something.
 
well lets see i went out to the runs last nite in my pontiac g6 just to spectate. Before everyone left the parking lot, some scrub in this other g6 kept revvin his engine on me. Anyways to make it short, after everyone came back to the parking lot after the races he drove up to me, along with some girl driving a black integra. So this guy is all tellin me how hes runnin open header on his g6 and blah blah blah. But what really got me is that this girl claimed her integra was an orignal type R with ..."40 grand under the hood" (end quote). So i start trying to get her to talk about the work shes done but she wouldnt budge. Biggest pile of bullsh*t ive ever heard. i could explain the whole conversation but you guys get the point
 
best thread on the site this kills me. this actually happened to me yesterday, not that great but here we go.. i just got a gsx last week and im showing it to some friends and this kid walks up and goes..

hey nice eclipse man! i see you got vtec, youre a lucky son of a... not nearly as good as the mivec im getting in my eclipse next week though!

kid wasnt kidding, hes just stupid as hell


this video is hilarious. and a nice looking DSM at the end! and you cant not laugh at the last line, true ricer..

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Hahaha. That video was awesome. I just beat a uh uh V6 Mustang. And you can ask him about the Sunfire I just beat.
 
While recently trying to sell a couple used 1g rims I had sitting around I was emailed by a person who felt obliged to tell me that thay had the two door coupe. This is after I replied to there want add for rims for a 1990 Talon.
 
Conversation on AIM with this kid I used to know thats into DSMs. I dunno shit about turbos either but I wanted to get a laugh.

HIM (8:13:02 PM): there's alot of kids with dsms round herew
ME (8:13:04 PM): oh
ME (8:13:06 PM): With 1ga's?
HIM (8:13:23 PM): some
ME (8:13:26 PM): damn
ME (8:13:28 PM): I haven't seen any.
HIM (8:13:32 PM): i just built a talon
ME (8:13:39 PM): oh really what year?
HIM (8:13:45 PM): 95
ME (8:13:49 PM): oh a 2g
HIM (8:13:55 PM): not bad replaced the block
HIM (8:14:00 PM): yeah
ME (8:14:02 PM): TSi i hope?
HIM (8:14:09 PM): absoilutely
HIM (8:14:15 PM): over 350 ponies
ME (8:14:20 PM): nice
HIM (8:14:23 PM): but its purple LOL
ME (8:14:25 PM): hahhaa
ME (8:14:27 PM): What do you have done to it?
HIM (8:15:35 PM): new turbo rebuilt top end new axels and pirelli low pro tires with 17 inch rims stock ride height and body kit to make it look normal and all we need to do now is exaust
ME (8:15:48 PM): What do you have for a turbo?
HIM (8:16:11 PM): i forget its a t i c 3 soMEthin
HIM (8:16:17 PM): h/o
HIM (8:16:22 PM): i got it written down LOL
ME (8:16:49 PM): LOL ok
HIM (8:19:19 PM): its a td04-16g
HIM (8:19:24 PM): i was way off
ME (8:19:37 PM): WTF?
ME (8:19:40 PM): 350 horses out of a 16g?
HIM (8:19:43 PM): we took it off this kid that had a nasty eclipse
ME (8:20:04 PM): What are you supporting it with?
HIM (8:21:08 PM): a long air induction line that goes under the like fuse box and the turbo is mounted like in front of the radiator
HIM (8:22:00 PM): the reason why it has more power is ### everythings the saME but the housing
HIM (8:22:04 PM): its larger
HIM (8:22:17 PM): so its like a modified turbo basically
ME (8:22:25 PM): So its a 16g housing wiht 14b internals?
HIM (8:22:28 PM): to free up air and produce soME more ponies
HIM (8:22:36 PM): yeah basically
HIM (8:22:56 PM): the kid even like printed out this thing for it ### he did soME research
HIM (8:23:01 PM): i didnt know you could do that
HIM (8:23:15 PM): its specially made for eclipses
ME (8:23:28 PM): What about the fuel system?
HIM (8:23:58 PM): gotta run premium for it
HIM (8:24:07 PM): electronic everything
ME (8:24:10 PM): well yeah you should with any turbo car.
HIM (8:24:31 PM): and whats ####ed up bout this car is its the first talon ive seen with leather interior
HIM (8:24:34 PM): yeah
ME (8:24:42 PM): oh yeah soME of the 2g's had leather.
ME (8:24:55 PM): but still you gotta be running maaaaaaaad lean
HIM (8:25:28 PM): yeah it took a while but my cousin did alot of work to her she purrrs like a kitten
HIM (8:25:38 PM): had soME issues though
 
The tread makes me feel dumd and smart at the same time.
 
Okay, gotta vote this as one of the best threads ever!! Lol, couldn't explain it to my girl of course:toobad:

Alright so I was reading this from this thread:
Originally Posted by MyBeatGSX
WOW THIS IS VERY TRUE - Honda-Tech

And the part I couldn't stop laughing about was:
"You don't have a clue the level of knowledge and expertise MANY of the people in this community have. It is far beyond the bolt-on mentality of the 4G63 and ESPECIALLY the EVOm world!" -4piston

LOL F-ING LOL This coming from a honduh guy?!?!? "Bolt-on mentality"? Course the dude has a super fast well set up...econobox...well no accounting for taste :idontknow:

So in the spirit of the super non-ricer honduh boys out there I give you guys this from an old Import Tuner Mag:
"W...T...F?!
Hey guys, I've got a '98 Audi 1.8T that I wanted to get more performance from and was recommended to port and polish the intake and exhaust. I did a little research and found out abrasive material is used to do it a lot of times--like gritty sand. So I got with my friend who tunes Hondas and we decided to try it ourselves. We got a bag of sandblasting sand and hooked it up to the intake of the car and started it up. We wanted to let the engine suck in the sand through the intake so it would port it out and then push it out the exhaust so it would port the exhaust manifold. I was worried that it might cause problems but my friend told me it would be okay as long as we didn't make boost and it get sucked in the turbo. After letting the car suck in about half the bag of sand, the check engine light came on and the engine started bucking and kicking and sounding really weird. We stopped and hooked the car back up normal and took off the sand supply. We tried to start it again and it was really hard. Once started it couldn't idle and kept making weird noises. We took it out and drove it and it started to make scraping and knocking noises. Help! Can anyone tell me what to do! My buddy only does Hondas so he doesn't know much about Audis.

-anonymous, via internet"

:hmm:
IT's reply: "Wow. We're not even going to touch this one...":ohdamn:ROFL

:hellyeah:Simon:hellyeah:
 
LOL wow^^^^ i didn't think anyone could be so stupid. I understand that there are people out there that know absolutely nothing about cars but C'MON MAN!!!!

(sorry this is off-topic but couldn't resist haha)
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This guy I work with isn't really a DSMer but he's one of those "know it all" types in his mid 40's. We were talking about cars one day. DSMs in particular. He goes on to tell me his brother used to have a supercharged Eagle Talon. I told him noramlly they are turbocharged and asked him what supercharger it put on it. He told me it wasn't an aftermarket one and it was a belt driven turbocharger from the factory and not a supercharger. I told him a turbocharger runs off the exhaust gas and a supercharger runs off of a belt and that they never made a "belt driven turbo" Eagle Talon. He told me it was some special edition one. He also went on to tell me that at stop lights he would have to let it idle at 2500rpm. I was about to tell him that it makes no sense for a car to idle at 2500rpm but at this point I realized trying to explain things to him was a waste of time and effort so I just nodded while thinking what a moron he is.
 
Ahaha the hyundai tuner kid said hes run about 150HP and now he says hes got 200HP with intake and exhaust LOLZ :tease:
 
I wish I would have saved the convo, but here's a new one.

This kid found me on FB from me YouTube channel. Said he had just bought a 95 GST, didn't know much about DSMs but was a 2nd year Auto Tech student. Figured I was up for a decently technical conversation...nope. Here's just a few of the things he asked/said to me.

- Best battery for a DSM (they hadn't gotten to batteries in his class yet ROFL )
- If he really needed the BOV
- He bought the car off of a "Professional DSMer"
- The car is "Stage 2"
- How to hook up a MAFT (uhhh...plug it in?)
- Best spark plug wires
- He has a "Ported BOV"

He said the car was, and I quote, "REALLY FREAKIN' FAST!" I asked multiple times for a bay pic but never got one.

Also, he said he had a GReddy T-16g...anyone ever heard of that? Asked the Turbomaster and he hadn't heard of it either.
 
^^^^ Hadn't gotten to he battery section of his class yet. WHAT????????????
 
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