Anyone suffer from insomnia, depression, or anxiety?

[SpawnedX]

Yes spending is a temporary relief from some of the day to day stresses.

Saving is a permanent relief from worrying about losing your job on a day to day basis. Everyone should strive to have enough saved up to live 6 months without any income. It really does help.

 

[90moneypit]

You're taking steps in the right direction. In order to 'get over' the events that have brought about your current situation you'll probably need to do a few things. Yes, you need some sort of councilling. You may also need some sort of medication on a short term basis unless it has permanently altered your brain chemistry but i don't think that's the case. You also need to reconnect with your family and friends. This may be a chance to find out who's willing to stick it out with you through thick and thin and who's just there for the good times. You'll have to make the final call on that. You will need the support to get through this grieving period. I wish I could say that 'everything will be fine', but it won't. Those two people aren't there on a day to day basis anymore but they're with you in your mind and there's nothing wrong about feeling that loss. My dad's been dead for over 13 years and I still catch myself wanting to call him up to tell him a dirty joke! It hurts when that reality sinks in but it does get easier to manage it. My dad was a walking, talking Superman to my eyes and I took the worst path possible for far longer than I care to admit. Suffice it to say that, alch/illegal drugs didn't fix anything, just postponed the repairs and added to the bill... Try talking to your friend's parents if they're still around, they will be hurting too and will understand better than someone who hadn't met him/her.

Just don't do anything permanent and that includes alienating your friends to the point where you can't rebuild. If you feel yourself about to explode or unload a truck full of hate/pain/rage, take a physical step back and excuse yourself for a few minutes to get things under control. A real friend will understand and let some some stuff slide but there ARE limits.

I hope this helps you find a road through your current darkness and back into the world. There is still joy to be found out there no matter what you may be feeling right now.

Sorry for the book but I wanted to get some information out there to you!

 

[XiKeiyaZI]

6 Months is a hell of a time to be financially prepped for if you make minimum wage.

 

[SpawnedX]

6 Months is a hell of a time to be financially prepped for if you make minimum wage.

This is true and a sad fact of life.

I know I was making better money than a lot of people and struggled to meet my goal. However, it was my priority, because in the end, can I live in a set of rims?

 

[ramsack]

I do actually have a job. But I do sit on my ass all day. I moderate a customer forum, and there are maybe 2-3 posts a day. I make more money now than I ever have but I've still been broke, damn DSMs. I don't blame the car, just the age of it and previous owners. I would rather be doing physical work again, but unfortunately, and for whatever reason i don't understand, those jobs don't pay crap, and you really couldn't be a dumbass and do it quickly. I did stop eating at McDonalds every day, which should save me money now. I always thought even from the dollar menu I wasn't spending that much. I did have a bunch of family die, but I got over it quick, and the more times it happened it stopped affecting me and I didn't really care. I take it as these friends that I've gotten rid of that they aren't friends in the first place if they feel they are too good to call me, and that I have to be the person to call all the time. I don't need that.

 

[kottyking]

I like your logic spawnedx. I really do. People just need to prioritize. I know not everybody can save for six months but preparing to get fudged in a day and age like today, eases the pain.

I do actually have a job. But I do sit on my ass all day. I moderate a customer forum, and there are maybe 2-3 posts a day. I make more money now than I ever have but I've still been broke, damn DSMs. I don't blame the car, just the age of it and previous owners. I did stop eating at McDonalds every day, which should save me money now. I always thought even from the dollar menu I wasn't spending that much. I did have a bunch of family die, but I got over it quick, and the more times it happened it stopped affecting me and I didn't really care. I take it as these friends that I've gotten rid of that they aren't friends in the first place if they feel they are too good to call me, and that I have to be the person to call all the time. I don't need that.

Man I'm getting depressed just talking to you buddy. " I did have a bunch of family die, but I got over it quick." This isn't good. It's not about getting over it quick my friend its about learning how to live with it. You need counseling, that's really the only thing that can help. The more I talk to you the more I realize you should talk to a therapist. Have faith brother, it helps (not necessarily religion, but something that will help you stay strong).

 

[dsm-onster]

Me too. You will have to see that others can feel for you, but still that won't make your life better in itself. You MUST to have self respect. Be your own best friend. Not self-consumed or self-centered. But respect yourself and say, "Come man, what are you doing? You need to do this. Trust me/you, you can get it done"

Ultimately, no one wants to spend their life with someone else who's in it for the money (even if it were frequently changing people like many different girlfriends); you or anyone else will get bored of that too. So you don't have to fret about finding a decent girl. You have a natural sifter in your life itself . . . But unless you're looking for a person to grow with, you'll not get "laid" by that kind of chick. It is what it is. The ones that are easy if you have money are even easier for the next richer/prettier/more exciting.

You're at the point where you need to say, "ok my life sucks. . . I need to do something about it. I'm not happy because I can't get sex and money. There has to be a problem. That doesn't make one happy anyhow. So, since what I want won't make me happy and I can't get it anyhow. No loss. I need to get on with my life and find something to do with it. THAT will make me happy. Just because I let myself down with a few goals early on in my existance, doesn't mean I should abandon the aspect of setting them. Who know's? I may actually achieve one. And it only takes a few achievements to feel like a decent person."

And seriously, get the fvck away from the money chicks. They all feel the same, they all play the same, thay all talk the same. Get a real woman by just doing what you need to do to have some self respect. If you respect yourself, there's WILL be a good woman out there who will. But you have to be prepared for the commitment. They don't like playing games. They're grown up and want satisfation in reality.

 

[ramsack]

Ya gotta get laid first, and then settle down. One big reason for divorce is because people wait until they get married to bang, or they marry the first person that they do bang.

 

[LandoAWD]

Ya gotta get laid first, and then settle down. One big reason for divorce is because people wait until they get married to bang, or they marry the first person that they do bang.

Money is the #1 factor. Divorce rates years ago were so much less than today, and your attitude is that of today. What does this tell us?

If you're at the point of not caring if you live or die, you're either the typical 16-18 year old, or you need help from a professional.

 

[SpawnedX]

Getting massively laid is so overrated. When my first girlfriend, whom was my first lay as well, dumped me, I stopped caring and did every girl with a pulse that would give me the time of day. I regret it now more than anything else.

Sure sex is enjoyable, like masturbation, right up until you get bored with it. Some people fix getting bored by it by making it weirder. I fixed it by stopping it and finding the woman I planned to spend the rest of my life with, and it's no longer boring.

 

[dsm-onster]

YES!

It really makes a difference. . . That silly thing that should be the reason why two decide marry in the first place. It's all tail. The difference is YOU and how YOU feel about the other.

Ya gotta get laid first, and then settle down. One big reason for divorce is because people wait until they get married to bang, or they marry the first person that they do bang.

NO!

We waited. We're not going anywhere without each other any time soon I assure you that. . . . But guess what? we do still have big fights about money. Even when we're a bit better off than when we first started. We solve those problems, though because we're resolved to work together. Because we love each other and know far more is there other than finances and bumping uglies.

Trust me. You're at a turning point. I can tell you that you're at a turning point in your life. And you're depressed because you're holding off on making the changes. I know exactly how you feel. I know exactly how I solved it. I know exactly that you'll be just fine. Just get on with it. And let your self grow up.

 

[ramsack]

I don't plan on being a 40-year old creep trying to get laid all the time like on Two And A Half Men. I'm young, I need to get laid. I'm way behind in life, but smarts I'm not beihnd, because of nothing being taught to me while being raised. Kids find out about stuff when they are like 12. Well I got freedom at 18. Before that it was prison, and not only with being able to go out and do things, but with information as well.

 

[VTEC KILLR]

WOW>.....This is a WAY deep thread.......DEEP...Glad to see nobody hating on this guy. I myself have struggled with depresion and insomnia for years. Medication, made things worse. I am 30 years old and can attest that the more money you make, the more money you spend. In my short life I have went from minimum wage, to 100,000+ a year....and lost my job, and now back to 30,000 a year. Money doesnt buy happiness.
Frivolous relationships with women/girls will just make you more confused. "Getting Laid" is just a band aid on a gunshot wound. Especially if you are looking for more, and just banging money grubbing whores who mess with your head.
Honestly, I am by no means a spirtual christian oriented person, Yet turning to religion for a self purpose in life can help.
For me I took some valued advice from a great friend, and spent spare time voluntaring at a homeless shelter, and a nursing home. It made me realize that there are more important things in life, and some dont need money, and material things to be happy. Once you realize that life is only what you make it, and be thankful for what you have you will feel alot better about yourself. Once you feel better about yourself your confidence will be up to par to finding companionship.
Good luck man I hope all goes well.

 

[LandoAWD]

Well, you have a goal...go get 'em. Don't raise your standards to the point of closing yourself out, though. Fat girls need love too.

 

[SpawnedX]

Well if you are a virgin, let me save you the time and disappointment of sex for the first time. It goes like this:

With a non-virgin girl: I'm making out, I am groping, I have a hard-on. Oh my God she is letting me hit it. Ok make sure I line it up right. Ok, miss, crap...um...hopefully she didn't notice. Of course she did, fack, erm, ok try again. Ok, I am in, oh my god warmth, lubed awesome...oh it's over...er wow that must have been a 5 roper...11 seconds of sex awesome!

With a virgin girl: Almost the same thing, only add some owes from her and a few painful grunts from you while trying to put a baseball bat into a pin hole

Well, you have a goal...go get 'em. Don't raise your standards to the point of closing yourself out, though. Fat girls need love too.

Chubby girls try harder.

 

[ramsack]

Well, you have a goal...go get 'em. Don't raise your standards to the point of closing yourself out, though. Fat girls need love too.

And they won't get it from me There are guys who are into that, let them deal with it. No religion for me, it's crap. I don't believe in charity either.

 

[SpawnedX]

Fat girls. That's your choice. And your loss IMHO.

Religion, also your choice.

Charity. So many people don't believe in it, until they are in a homeless shelter eatting a free hot meal and sleeping on a cot in a warm room. All paid for by charity.

 

[LandoAWD]

"into that" = 12 beers in the hole

I'm sure I'm not the only person with stories from younger days.

In any case, I see you setting yourself up for disappointment and failure with each post in this thread. Instead of doing what you CAN, you lament on what you CAN'T. This needs to change.

 

[brownfinger]

I need to start my rant by prefacing w/ this:

I do not mean to be-little anyone's situation. If you have a serious medical situation, or if your dealing with a death, or something else 100% out-of-your control, I'm truly sorry. It sucks to hear what trouble so many people have to deal with. It should be reassuring to see that enough people, almost strangers, care enough to read all of this, and respond. Most of the advice is good, too.

I really have to agree most with the "It's good to talk about it/Don't be afraid to see a counselor" advice. Especially if you're suicidal. I definately don't mean to condescend anyone dealing with kind of shit. That's awful. I know that, in my county, you can see someone for free, through the county's public health program. Even if your just bummed. The government has a vested interest in you not being unable to work and pay taxes. Most states have at least some kind of programs, but I bet some states can't afford a lot right now.

Personally, I self-medicate, frequently and regularly. Not recomending it, just admitting it. The worst drug-pushing/economy-wrecking corrupt bastards out there are the pharmacutical companies (my opinion, you may feel different). But my self-medicating didn't always help; when I was about 18, it actually caused some severe depression. I'd avoid so much LSD if I did it all over. The self-medication wouldn't help as much as it does now if I didn't have good friends. I wouldn't have good friends, though, if I hadn't learned along the way that it is my responsibility to control what I'm thinking: I can think some nasty shit.

Snowboarder busted me out a few weeks ago in another thread. I was having a tough time in my personal life, breaking-up from a 4-year GF, being broke, $1500 dentist visit, so-called friend trying to steal my GF while we were still together, her playing us against each other, boost leaks, etc..., and I was letting it make me act like an asshole. I was literally amplifying the negative BS others were dumping in my life, and spreading it around on you guys. I didn't want to be that guy.

Getting an o-fficial warning on my beloved-tuners snapped me out of it some. That was on a Saturday morning. The following Monday my windshield was kicked-in. That's when I snapped completely: I decided that I was tired of being pissed-off. I really felt like I was causing all of these bad things to happen, and I became scared that I was going to make something even worse happen, like cancer, DUI, kill someone else w/ my GST, prison, herpes... I believe in Karma, honestly: I just couldn't handle the pain of life sucking so much, but I also couldn't handle the idea of letting my BS affect the people around me. Most of them are very nice to me, even if they don't kiss my ass very much. Even if they are total strangers, they don't deserve to hear my bitching and whining.

It seriously worked well. In the couple of weeks since then, I have had some amazingly good things happen, too. I have a crystal clear new windshield! I got out of a bad relationship just in time to help my friends deal with their problems. Folks are dropping dead, getting sick, getting divorced, getting fired and getting in legal trouble all around us, but we all got together and helped each other deal with it. Over the last week we spent 6 days camping and seeing 4 incredible concerts. Every single one of the 2-dozen people from our posse who were involed at some point all had the time of our lives. It was good medicine to help deal with the other ills of life.

For all you guys who are dealing with very serious issues, I wish you the best. Don't be afraid to ask for help (here or elsewhere).

As for the rest of us bastards who are just whining about life, responsibility, and the general pointless-ness of the very Universe occasionally sucking ( thinking of you, ramsack): I only took an hour of my work-day afternoon to compose this tretise because I do actually care. Grow-up and think about the people who care about you. Give them one less thing to trouble them by taking better care of yourself. Do it for them, and it WILL come back to you. There's always some change you can make in your lives that will help set things in the right direction. You control your life, and there's always something you can try harder at, or try again, or ask someone for help with. You need to admit to yourselves that it is all in your head, and you can do a better job of not giving-up and deciding to be negative. Once you admit to yourself that you are very silly for putting yourself through this for so long, it gets so, so, much easier. That's how I beat it.

Like Hunter Thompson says at the end of Fear and Loathing ( or was it his attorney?): Remember, you can always send a telegram to the right people

 

[ramsack]

Haha bringing up the universe, that's what I believe in. It has a balance that needs to be kept. Whether it is that matter cannot be created or destroyed, life is part of the universe, and there needs to be a certain ratio of suffering to good. There can never be prosperity and peace. Fear and Loathing is one of my favorite movies and probably was the trigger that made me experiment with those kinds of drugs in the past, and it was fun, but I didn't go overboard.

 

[LandoAWD]

*ahem*

 

[SpawnedX]

I understand the no religion discussion rule and I think it is being applied to liberally here. The purpose of that rule is to avoid religious debate. However, in situations like this, religion may help some and should be an acceptable suggestion.

 

[LandoAWD]

That was a "drugs *ahem*", but I'll not speak any further on making exceptions for location or mental states. Imagine 100+ THOUSAND users asking for exceptions...I can.

 

[ramsack]

I wouldn't trade that time doing drugs for anything. I was miserable before then, and probably less so now. I won't ever go back to it. I started to not enjoy it towards the end. I don't advocate anyone do stuff like that because there are people who can't stop, but I also don't agree with people preaching about it who have never done anything like that in their lives.

 

[dsm-onster]

^^^Another accomplisment right there. Not going back to drugs.

I don't plan on being a 40-year old creep trying to get laid all the time like on Two And A Half Men. I'm young, I need to get laid. I'm way behind in life, but smarts I'm not beihnd, because of nothing being taught to me while being raised. Kids find out about stuff when they are like 12. Well I got freedom at 18. Before that it was prison, and not only with being able to go out and do things, but with information as well.

You know what to do right now. Get a girl that will stick with you. don't have sex just for sex. It's all the same after a while. You need it get it from the same chick that likes you enough to stick around. Go find her. IF there's no one who want to be with you, start working on your life. Seriously, the Seinfeld episode is right, the less a$$ you get, the more you start to accomplish with the rest of your life. The butt will come along and it willbe from those who WANT to be with YOU and then you can find one who's worthy to stick by and grow even more with.

Before that, there's just you accepting that you know what to do. You start right away by just doing a little better than the day before. No room for depression when you make a daily goal and see it. Like you stopping the Mickyd's thing. Good job. Speaking of fat chicks, I know alot of fat chicks that can't do that