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Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

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I Remember one from way back...

it was at a gas station and I just got done filling up my turbo talon and I spot a red 2Gb eclipse, and noticed that it had no fog lights and black door handles..so my guess is that its a RS. so I walk up to the kid and engage in this unique convo..

Me:So how much did you pick this up for?
Red2g Owner: about 6k total
Me:Non Turbo right?
Red2g Owner: No, well it is now but it had twin turbos on it.
Me:Twin Turbos no way
Red2g Owner: Yea they weren't working so I took them off
Me: crazy, I bet it was kinda hard to get twin turbo on this thing since its a 4 cylinder
Red2g Owner: yea its a v-6 so you can put them on the sides, but I took them off because they weren't working, it wasn't spooling right.
Me: Well I gotta go pay for my gas

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
 
Guy with red 2g N/T Eclipse with yellow wiring hoses everywhere and fart can....
Guy: So you guys know about these cars right?
Me: I know a little bit, moreso about the 1g's.
Guy: 1g's??
Me: Nevermind...
Guy: Well, after a little more work and about $5k, I'm going to be pushing 680whp.
Me: Wow..... and proceeded to walk away.

I know it's about DSMs, but I got one that bugs me bad about 3/Ss also.
Guy: Yeah I had a really fast, sweet car, but I had to sell it for money for college.
Me: Oh yeah? What was it?
Guy: A Mitsubishi GTO Twin Turbo
Me: Damn, those are nice cars.
Guy: Yeah, here's a pic.
::Looks at pics to see it is clearly a 1g 3000GT with a 99 wing::
Me: Is that a '99?
Guy: Yeah, it was fast as hell.
Me: Really? How fast was it?
Guy: Pretty fast, you know those cars come with 600awhp stock right?
Me: So what mods did you have done to it?
Guy: A bigger turbo that I could run 27 psi on and single shot mufflers.
Me: So how much power were you making and what was your quarter mile time?
Guy: I was pushing nearly 900hp at the crank, and I ran a 10.2.
Me: That's pretty fast... and walked away...
 
Guy: yea im going to do the Turbo AWD swap
Me: Thats virtually impossible
Guy: well if you can put a 350 in an S-10 it can be done

Guy: is that turbo?
Me:yea, so i get into my car to move it ,
Guy: that car isnt turbo I cant hear the BOV
this is when im moving it a total of 5ft, so I tell him its stock BOV and of course he says they dont have stock BOV's :rolleyes:

Im in school walking down the hall and these kids are like I thought your car was fast I dont really say much and they say I know a stock turbo neon that can beat it, So I ask if its an SRT and they say no, Well its not stock then is it and I walk off

Neon Guy: when I get my car fixed it will beat your TSi
ME: well what are you doing to it
Guy: Putting total seal rings in it with stock pistons and bore
ME: I just kind of looked at him like this :toobad:
 
kid: What that transmission check light on for?? (it was the cel by the way)
me: oh man quit talking, u've lost all talking privileges, i just feel dumber now.
kid:huh?
That's when i left, i kinda felt bad because he was a young kid probably about 13 but then i thought to my self "F*** that what a retard"
 
MyBeatGSX said:
WTF is with these people and twin turbo Eclipses??? What gave them that idea? I get that at least once a week. Maybe when Brian Earl Spliner said "T3/T4" on TF&TF they assuming it was 2 separate turbos?:cry:

Seriously. :confused:

I was going to post that this has happened to me countless times, but not all the people were DSMrs. What really sucks is that when you tell them it only has one turbo they act all dissapointed. :rolleyes:

and its not a @#$*#) #$^#)@* V6 either!!!!! :spam:

I feel left out that I probably will never be asked why I have two radiators. :(

Lets not forget the classic: "do a burnout man!" ...and when I roll away slowly "you're a ####y".

Lots of funny stories here. Seems there is some "common knowledge" that we just aren't cool enough to know about.

I think the funniest by far is the AFC-Sattelite Radio question ROFL
 
I pulled up in my old N/T one day and this kid says isnt that a 24Vavle V-6 I was like no they only came in a 4cyl N/T and a 4cyl Turbo and that he must have been thinking about the 3g and 4g's and he looked at me like I was the biggest retartd on the planet.
 
I think I have an answer to the reason why people think there are no such things as stock bov's. From the people i've heard who've said that, they referred to the stock bov as a diverter valve. A blow off valve has to make the woosh noise, while a diverter valve does not. I try explaining the recirculating thing but they don't get it.

Oh and one thing that pissed me off one time is when a tiburon driver told me my car needs a body kit. The only thing my car needs is to go faster.
 
Deadly BlaZe said:
I think I have an answer to the reason why people think there are no such things as stock bov's. From the people i've heard who've said that, they referred to the stock bov as a diverter valve. A blow off valve has to make the woosh noise, while a diverter valve does not. I try explaining the recirculating thing but they don't get it.

Oh and one thing that pissed me off one time is when a tiburon driver told me my car needs a body kit. The only thing my car needs is to go faster.
Your giving them way to much credit haha. And bodykits suck on 99.9% of dsms. I've seen a few that are show car worthy an have the power to back it up (99gst_racer comes to mind) but most are just ugly.
 
Im gonna have to agree with Defiant on this one:" Whats that little orange light that looks like a prison door?" And well 8/10 of the posts in the newbie forum. Is it just me or are the newbs getting dumber?
 
Now that's a cold air intake.



Not really what anybodies said, but rather what happens on a fairly regular basis...........

I'm sitting at a light, minding my own business, when someone pulls up next to me trying to goad a race. I ignore them as 90% of the time it's a car I wouldn't waste gas against. The light turns green and they "boil off" about 50 miles worth of rubber blasting to the next light, which is less than 50 yards away. The whole time I haven't even made it out of 2nd. When I get up next to him/them and I hear him/them hollering that they "just smoked my a$$".

What a load.


My wife doesn't even ask to drive it anymore and doesn't really even like riding in it much because of that (not that I'm in a big rush to toss her the keys anyway).

Kind of makes you feel sorry for someone like 99gst_racer, he probably gets "jacked with" on a regular basis from every "shmoe" with 4 wheels.
 
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I get these ricers in all the time at AutoZone... so anyway, this guy came in yesterday and asks, "Can I get a quarantined belt for my 95 N/T Eclipse, oh and some forged spark plugs too?" Myself and 2 of the other guys are big time racers and ASE CMAT's, and they laughed so hard and so long, the guy got pissed and left... I dont mean to be rude, but here's your sign!!!
 
Dumb kid with a 88 camaro- do a burn out.
Me- AWD.
Kid with camaro- Aint got $hit on me.
:thumb: ok

Kid with a kia- I just did a fairlady z twin turbo swap on my car and made it all wheel drive, we had to cut the front end of the car to make it fit. Its cost me $15,000 from parts from japan.
Me- Oh really? How many drive shafts does it have?
Kid- 6
Me- Oh, thats cool. And how many transfer cases do you have?
Kid- 12
Me- Want to race?
Kid- No
Me- Oh why?
Kid- You dont stand a chance.
Me- Um, ok.
Kid- My friends moms kia will smoke you.
:toobad:
 
guy with probe : I just put a wrx engine in my car
me : oh ya?
probe : ya it was bi*** getting it to fit but i got it in there.
me : thats cool
probe : ya but i didnt put the turbo on it
me : oh
probe : ya you know how they have the intercoolers on top?
me : ya...
probe : I put mine on the bottom.
me : cool...walked away
 
I had my hood up on the 1g awd and some guy pulled in the parking lot driving a 1g himself. He got out of the car, and literally standing right there with me, asked what motor I had.
 
funniest was some dude that works at a napa by my house...i asked for a fuel filter for my car...he was like "eclipse..turbo..ok"..i got the part..then he says "i got a twin turbo supra..it has 1000whp"..i go "wow bro really?"..hes like "yea man i get all my parts from my homeboy in japan"..i say "really? what turbo are you running? t88 or something?" and his like "nah man im running two t-25's at 42psi"..i laughed so ####ing hard...and i said "you are a dumbass"...and left..LOL

also i work at vatozone and one of the mangers tells me he has a skyline he imported from japan...and his like "i got lambo doors and this audio company sponsors me"..and i ask him about the car..and he says "yea bro i took it to a cruise this weekend..i killed alot of cars man took down corvettes and twin turbo vipers"...and i said, "well why dont you drive it, i wanna see it"...and his excuse "its not registered yet..i cant drive it on the street"...and i say "sure.......###"..and leave....LOL ####ing moron!.
 
boosted spartan said:
funniest was some dude that works at a napa by my house...i asked for a fuel filter for my car...he was like "eclipse..turbo..ok"..i got the part..then he says "i got a twin turbo supra..it has 1000whp"..i go "wow bro really?"..hes like "yea man i get all my parts from my homeboy in japan"..i say "really? what turbo are you running? t88 or something?" and his like "nah man im running two t-25's at 42psi"..i laughed so ####ing hard...and i said "you are a dumbass"...and left..LOL

also i work at vatozone and one of the mangers tells me he has a skyline he imported from japan...and his like "i got lambo doors and this audio company sponsors me"..and i ask him about the car..and he says "yea bro i took it to a cruise this weekend..i killed alot of cars man took down corvettes and twin turbo vipers"...and i said, "well why dont you drive it, i wanna see it"...and his excuse "its not registered yet..i cant drive it on the street"...and i say "sure.......###"..and leave....LOL ####ing moron!.

Think this perfectly demonstrates how desparate people are to impress us. I get stuff like this ALL the time. When will they get the idea, if someone is smart enough to build a fast car, then they're smart enough to know you're full of shit too.:toobad:
 
fwdturbobov1996 said:
I had my hood up on the 1g awd and some guy pulled in the parking lot driving a 1g himself. He got out of the car, and literally standing right there with me, asked what motor I had.

Well, that's not that out of line considering you could have a 2.0, 2.3, or 2.4.
 
Hal said:
Well, that's not that out of line considering you could have a 2.0, 2.3, or 2.4.
or 1.8 and 2.0 n/a. It's not that dumb unless he was staring right at the motor while asking the question.
 
My head hurts from reading this thread... I haven't had anything too retarded just yet, but I still remember the day that I was working on my car and some kid came over and looked over my shoulder long and hard.. after about 2-3 minutes of perusing (i'm assuming he actually knew his stuff, looked at my turbo and all) he genuinely points to my then-Injen intake and exclaims "NICE INTAKE BRO!"..

WTF.. I guess it's my fault too for assuming they'd actually mention something ELSE about my car, like, perhaps the turbo? :p :beatentodeath:
 
blcknspo0ln said:
My head hurts from reading this thread... I haven't had anything too retarded just yet, but I still remember the day that I was working on my car and some kid came over and looked over my shoulder long and hard.. after about 2-3 minutes of perusing (i'm assuming he actually knew his stuff, looked at my turbo and all) he genuinely points to my then-Injen intake and exclaims "NICE INTAKE BRO!"..

WTF.. I guess it's my fault too for assuming they'd actually mention something ELSE about my car, like, perhaps the turbo? :p :beatentodeath:
He was probably looking for something he could recognize, and saw the filter on the pipe and thought, "oh hey that must be an intake, in an attempt to look like i know WTF im talking about ill comment on it." I know the first time i looked into the engine bay of my 2G i was like "....WTF?" It is rather cluttered and confusing in there if you dont know your way around it.
 
Well Im glad I havn't run into many of these people, and my buddiesknow about cars, so they don't bother saying stupid stuff like this...heck two of them even went an bought talons, one AWD, and the other FWD. Well I did get the twin turbo deal...but from a used car dealer:(I did read up on the basic's of the DSMs before hand)
Dealer: So what kind of car are you looking for?
Me: I dunno what do you have, my Dad told me about the Talon's he had when he was younger, and i would like to get one?
Dealer: Well we have this Eclipse.
Me: Same thing right?
Dealer: Nope, the Eclipses are more powerful, then the Talon's. (Dumb remark #1)
Me: Really how?
dealer: Easy...see that hump on the hood?
Me: Yeah, so...?
Dealer: Thats what they do to the hood, so they can fit the twin turbo's. (Dumb remark #2)
Me: Hmmmm...Sure didn't know that. I start to walk away...
Dealer: (runs to catch up with me) So what do you think? You want it?
Me: Naa
Dealer: Really?? Why?
Me: Well for starters you have no clue what your talking about. The Talon, and the Eclipse are made in the same factory, and each trim level is the same, except for the badging. And lastly there is not twin turbo'd DSM. Oh and if your wonder WTF DSM means, it means Diamond Star Motors...you know the parent company of the Eclipse, Talon, and Laser.

Well that's mine. It did show me one thing though...don't go to that idiot for a car, cause he might show you a Suzuki GSX, if you ask for an Eclipse GSX, and try to say its the newest Eclipse out, what are we at...5th Gen?LOL

Dustin
 
last halloween some kid asked if i was selling my car...he said "it sounds nice man..i like the whooooossssssssssshhhhhh sound when you pulled in.....is it for sale?" and me with my smartass replies said "does it have a for sale sign????"...and i used my smartass look...and his like "no"..and i said.."well...theres your answer" and closed the door.....LOL.
 
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