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Funny Pics For A Good Laugh

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alright, I heard this joke today and thought it was funny, so I am going to hi-jack my own thread and post the joke here to share with you all.

Hopefully you havent heard of it before.

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."




Another:

What is the difference between a mesquito and a blonde????

A mesquito stops sucking when you slap em! :D
 
:laugh: :laugh:
Damn that would totally suck
 
a_scobel said:
Yea, well I go into the sea sometimes just to f*ck around with the sharks. I have this thing called a Shark Rocket, and I shoot it at them..and it REALLY..annoys them. Then I just wade there in the water, & they come at me...but I'm really good at eluding them. I know this hip move, it's something porpoises do...& I pretend I have a bottleneck, & I stab them in the gills. It really is effective.

The shark tries to swim away, but I grabbed him & pulled him back, punched him again...I grabbed him by the big throat & said, 'F*ck you shark'.






If anybody knows what that's from, you're the coolest bastard on here!!

sorry to bring back a dead topic, i just had to give props to the Dane Cook quote.

"Who gets killed by bees? I mean if it was like flying horses, that I can understand, thats some scary sh#t"
 
this picture is so funny! Delete it mods if you have to.


This guy got OW3ND!!!
 

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doctors scam! LOL.
 

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the truthful homeless guy.
 

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TurboDropTop said:
sorry to bring back a dead topic, i just had to give props to the Dane Cook quote.

"Who gets killed by bees? I mean if it was like flying horses, that I can understand, thats some scary sh#t"

"I'd punch everyone of those bees in the ####ing face!"
 
Eclipsed said:
"I'd punch everyone of those bees in the ####ing face!"

yeah dane cook is the shit. "start your day the holy way with christ chex"
 
Davidle said:
alright, I heard this joke today and thought it was funny, so I am going to hi-jack my own thread and post the joke here to share with you all.

Hopefully you havent heard of it before.

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."




Another:

What is the difference between a mesquito and a blonde????

A mesquito stops sucking when you slap em! :D

thats pretty funny. i grabbed my nuts afterwards to make sure they were still there
 
the third pic i find titled as woman did it.
 

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ldstang50 said:
thats pretty funny. i grabbed my nuts afterwards to make sure they were still there


LOL. Is it still there???


J/K. :D
 
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.
One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.

The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."

The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."

POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."

POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.

The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"

The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."
 
i dont' know why but i thought this was so funny that when i was laughing i accidently pushed out a nasty fart and my eyes teared up
 
a few I pulled from my archives
 

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