Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

[Turbotalon25]

That video is awsome.
I wish I could find people like that to race at the dragstrip.
This thred is great

 

[xx503boyxx]

honda guy: is that stock...pop the hood
me: yeah look
honda guy: no way thats stock look at the size of those cam gears!

autozone guy: r u gonna soup up your car
me: yeah i want a better turbo for it and stuff
autozone guy: oh yeah what turbo you gona get for it
me: idk maybe a t28
autozone guy: ha thats actually smaller then what u have already get a gt35! its huge saw it in a magazine

v8 guy: how much boost you pushing
me: stock just like 10
v8 guy: oh make sure you build the bottom end before you go more
me: oh whell actually on stock turbo i can push almost 18psi and be fine
v8guy: ha ill bet you 200 bucks that thing will blow with that many lbs

Other stupid statements ive heard

"talons actually have more torque then eclipses"
"same engine as a GS but turbo"
"evo 8 engine is direct swap"
"my talon is stock im only pushing 4 psi because its the automatic model"
"6bolt motor/intake manifold/tb is exactly the same i dont know why ppl keep swaping them"
" you can vent your bov just not a lot just a little"
"you need 1000cc injectors and a after market ecu for a 16g turbo"

 

[thatblondechik]

Do you come is stores??? Where can I find Women like you??? I am in need of one aha

Hahaha! We're few and far between...and usually snatched up pretty quick.

 

[banishedmunk]

a guy i work with insists his 300zx turbos are spinning backwards causing his car to run like crap

raced a guy in a sentra ser once he had this horibly loud exhaust with no rear bumper. i blow his doors off (my car ran a 12.3 @ 111 spinning through second) two days later see him again and he screams out his window at me that he put his header on just for me. we race again and well lets just say it helped him none

 

[airmail96]

One time my friend was quizzing one of my other friends and he pointed at the waterpump and goes whats that. My friend said it was the fuel pump.

Another time my friend told me I needed to get a fuel pump delete kit.

 

[ILLiCliPSE]

While installing my FP3052, an exhaust manifold stud broke off inside the head and we couldnt get it out. A couple of my friends were over watching, and one of them goes....

"Hey, atleast that hole wont leak any exhaust, its plugged by the broken stud."

 

[GsXdSmKingGsX]

I was at a stop light and some kid in a 91 eclipse n/t obviously came up to me and said "where is the button for your turbo?" i just looked at him like WTF

 

[Lofty]

People at school ask my why I got a ricer car, because they hate "imports".
One day I got so fed up, I told the guy to pop the hood in his Crappyqueer, and point to his Throttle cable, and say "What the #### does Hecho en Mexico" mean?
The guy, obviously speechless, looks stunned.
Then I proceed to ask him why he bought an Import.


Good day.

That or some guy tried to tell me I should have got an Eclipse engine, because the Talons were weaker.
I re-educated him.

 

[evileclipse909]

Ok so I got another blinkerfluid one. One day while Im working at the shop a lady brings in her car. She says that her turn signals are not working and that she doesnt want us to look at the car, she just wants us to top off the blinkerfluid. The service writer tries to explain that there must be an electrical problem that we would have to charge her to diagnose. He also explains that there is no such thing as blinkerfluid. So she replies "My husband told me that you would say something like that, He said I just need blinkerfluid" Then in rage the lady drove away. I'm sure her husband got an earfull that night.

 

[asd_gst]

wow that one is way to funny

hahahaahahah wow ill remember that one next time i ride with someome with a afc

 

[95CarbonEclipse]

The best one that I can remember was just this last summer. I'm at a local hangout when me and my buddy are about to take off, so I start the car up. This kid standing next to my car then asks me if it's turbo'd and I reply "yea." Then, as I'm sitting there with the car idling, he puts his ear closer to the hood and after a second says "Oh... now I can hear it. It took it a while for it to kick in." I was so dumb founded that I didn't even know what to say and just left. Later me and my buddy had a good laugh about it.

As for the seemingly popular AFC/Satellite radio mix up. I was actually guilty of this one myself one time, but the other way around. This neighbor kid had a body kit'd civic with what appeared to be an AFC mounted on the dash. One day he came over and asked me if I would help him change the T-belt on his car because it was making a loud squealing sound when he started it. I explained to him that it was most likely NOT the T-belt making the noise, but that it'd be a good idea to get it replaced anyhow since he had recently purchased the car. Then, giving him a bit more credit then what he was worth, asked him what size injectors he was running. He had a clueless look on his face and then replied that it was just stock. I should've put 2 and 2 together, but like an idiot myself, I proceeded to ask him why he had an AFC installed then. You can just imagine the look that he had on his face after that. Turned out it was only a Satellite Radio.

 

[GRAVEDIGGER]

^^^

That's a classic! I love this thread. Thanks for sharing all the stories guys.

 

[Unwythe]

Nothing too crazy here, because I don't really talk to anyone in public about my car(Just for the simple reason I have no patience for people that are ignorant) but one day, back when I worked at Target I had a co-worker telling me saw pinks and that this guys Honda was a 9 second car and this and that. Told him that Honda's are okay, but Eclipses are the worlds fastest import, running 6's in the 1/4. He proceeded to tell me "Yeah, but you guys have 6 cylinders, they only have 4." I had to laugh for awhile at that one.

 

[Afroclipse]

Nothing too crazy here, because I don't really talk to anyone in public about my car(Just for the simple reason I have no patience for people that are ignorant) but one day, back when I worked at Target I had a co-worker telling me saw pinks and that this guys Honda was a 9 second car and this and that. Told him that Honda's are okay, but Eclipses are the worlds fastest import, running 6's in the 1/4. He proceeded to tell me "Yeah, but you guys have 6 cylinders, they only have 4." I had to laugh for awhile at that one.

But they do, the 00 and above have 6 cylinders and so does the 3000gt, so he wasn't entirely clueless just mixed up.

 

[Unwythe]

But they do, the 00 and above have 6 cylinders and so does the 3000gt, so he wasn't entirely clueless just mixed up.

No he definitely thought the 1G's and 2G's came with a 6, and the 3G's and 4G's came with ONLY a 4. I neglected to mention that.

I thought like you did and asked him, and that's what he replied with. Which is why I had to laugh awhile.


Him: "Yeah, but you guys have 6 Cylinders, they only have 4"
Me: "Brent Rau only runs 4 cylindars, and I have a 91 Eclipse, it only has a 4 Cylindar"
Him: "No it doesn't, all 1990-1999 Eclipses came with a V6 Stock"


He was very surprised when I showed him my engine, and made him count the spark plugs.

 

[sag1441]

anything lofty says about anything is usually up there

 

[Red97Eclipseboy]

I adore this thread! I forgot about one from two summers ago. I must share.

This was the summer of '06. I had just for fired from Autozone, (pre-college days) but the store manager still liked me enough to lend me a hand. I was having lean-conditions, so I wanted to test out my FPR with the vacuum kit (ended being a bad tune from AMS). Anyway, I had the hood popped along with the FPR off and I was sitting next to the car pressuring the FPR when I see two kids walking over. Oh, boy... here we go. I'm usually very patient with young kids, but I was in no mood. I'll just repeat the highlights. I don't remember everything, but these are his quotes/questions forever burned in my mind.

Rice-bag: "Hey. Nice Eclipse. Is it turbo?" ~While looking under the hood. Not to mentioned the FMIC was in his view his whole walk over to the car~

Me: "Thank you. Yes it is."

Rice-bag. "Sweet. How much boost?"

Me: "Ugh. 17psi."

Rice-bag: "Why so low? I run 23psi with my stock Jetta." ~He points at it. He's right. It's a stock, 4-door Jetta~

Me: "Yup." ~I'm still working on the car, hardly even looking at him~

Rice-bag: "What kind of BOV is that?"

Me: "Greddy Type-S. My girlfriend has one on her GSX, too." ~I have an HKS now. Lol. Not sure why that matters. Also, that girl is now an ex~

Rice-bag: "Sweet! Is it stick?"

Me: "No, her is an auto."

Rice-bag: "Why on earth would you put a BOV on an auto?!?!"

Me: "Seriously, dude? Just to help you out, BOVs aren't linked to transmissions. They don't go off because you push in the clutch, it's when you shut the throttle-plate. You do that in autos, too. Of course not as much. Plus our stock ones leak."

Rice-bag: "Ooooh. Ok. How much HP, how fast have you gone?"

Me: I'm trying to ignore him

Rice-bag: "Have you ever seen a red, '91 Integra around here?"

Me: "The young polish kid? Is it slammed?"

Rice-bag: "Yeah, that's my boy. He has a 125 shot on it and it runs low 13's!"

Me: "I bet it does. Hey, not to be a dick, but I have to finish up here. I need to be alone."

Rice-bag: "Oh, okay. See you later."

Me: "Yeah."

He bombarded me with many others. Even asked stupid ####ing questions about my interior. It was brutal. I just wasn't in the mood. And none of his questions were relevant or remotely intelligent. He was truly clueless, which is fine, we've all been there. It's all about how you carry yourself when you're new. You can either try and learn, and not act like you know shit and lie. Or stay quiet, listen and research and ask the right questions. I would say 99.9% of most kids these days fall under the first category I mentioned.

 

[Unwythe]

I adore this thread! I forgot about one from two summers ago. I must share.

This was the summer of '06. I had just for fired from Autozone, (pre-college days) but the store manager still liked me enough to lend me a hand. I was having lean-conditions, so I wanted to test out my FPR with the vacuum kit (ended being a bad tune from AMS). Anyway, I had the hood popped along with the FPR off and I was sitting next to the car pressuring the FPR when I see two kids walking over. Oh, boy... here we go. I'm usually very patient with young kids, but I was in no mood. I'll just repeat the highlights. I don't remember everything, but these are his quotes/questions forever burned in my mind.

Rice-bag: "Hey. Nice Eclipse. Is it turbo?" ~While looking under the hood. Not to mentioned the FMIC was in his view his whole walk over to the car~

Me: "Thank you. Yes it is."

Rice-bag. "Sweet. How much boost?"

Me: "Ugh. 17psi."

Rice-bag: "Why so low? I run 23psi with my stock Jetta." ~He points at it. He's right. It's a stock, 4-door Jetta~

Me: "Yup." ~I'm still working on the car, hardly even looking at him~

Rice-bag: "What kind of BOV is that?"

Me: "Greddy Type-S. My girlfriend has one on her GSX, too." ~I have an HKS now. Lol. Not sure why that matters. Also, that girl is now an ex~

Rice-bag: "Sweet! Is it stick?"

Me: "No, her is an auto."

Rice-bag: "Why on earth would you put a BOV on an auto?!?!"

Me: "Seriously, dude? Just to help you out, BOVs aren't linked to transmissions. They don't go off because you push in the clutch, it's when you shut the throttle-plate. You do that in autos, too. Of course not as much. Plus our stock ones leak."

Rice-bag: "Ooooh. Ok. How much HP, how fast have you gone?"

Me: I'm trying to ignore him

Rice-bag: "Have you ever seen a red, '91 Integra around here?"

Me: "The young polish kid? Is it slammed?"

Rice-bag: "Yeah, that's my boy. He has a 125 shot on it and it runs low 13's!"

Me: "I bet it does. Hey, not to be a dick, but I have to finish up here. I need to be alone."

Rice-bag: "Oh, okay. See you later."

Me: "Yeah."

He bombarded me with many others. Even asked stupid ####ing questions about my interior. It was brutal. I just wasn't in the mood. And none of his questions were relevant or remotely intelligent. He was truly clueless, which is fine, we've all been there. It's all about how you carry yourself when you're new. You can either try and learn, and not act like you know shit and lie. Or stay quiet, listen and research and ask the right questions. I would say 99.9% of most kids these days fall under the first category I mentioned.

Not to sound like an ass, but it seemed like the kid was generally interested in your car, and you were a dick back to him. I understand if you were busy, but it wouldn't have hurt to just say "I don't mean to be rude, but I gotta get this car done super fast man. I'm late to see my girlfriend. Nice talking to you though!" Instead of just ignoring him, and treating him like an utter moron. We all started at that age, and just because he's ignorant that makes him a ricer? Did he have a bodykit on his jetta or something? What exactly made him a ricer? The fact that he was inexperienced with cars? Or the fact that he was just talking to a guy, with a nice car in the parking lot of an Auto Parts store? If you didn't want anyone to "bug" you, you should have waited until you got home to work on the car. Personally, I don't how busy I am, or what I'm doing, if someone gives me props on my car, I'm nice back to them. Unless they start talking about how slow, ugly, or how much faster their car is.

Maybe it's just because I was raised in the South though, I dunno.

 

[Red97Eclipseboy]

Not to sound like an ass, but it seemed like the kid was generally interested in your car, and you were a dick back to him. I understand if you were busy, but it wouldn't have hurt to just say "I don't mean to be rude, but I gotta get this car done super fast man. I'm late to see my girlfriend. Nice talking to you though!" Instead of just ignoring him, and treating him like an utter moron. We all started at that age, and just because he's ignorant that makes him a ricer? Did he have a bodykit on his jetta or something? What exactly made him a ricer? The fact that he was inexperienced with cars? Or the fact that he was just talking to a guy, with a nice car in the parking lot of an Auto Parts store? If you didn't want anyone to "bug" you, you should have waited until you got home to work on the car. Personally, I don't how busy I am, or what I'm doing, if someone gives me props on my car, I'm nice back to them. Unless they start talking about how slow, ugly, or how much faster their car is.

Maybe it's just because I was raised in the South though, I dunno.

The "23psi" part is where I became rude. I hate liars. And I was in shit-mood. It happens. Besides, I know the difference between someone giving me props, or just picking the car apart to tell why his shit is faster or better. Like I said, once the "23psi" part came along, I just didn't care to talk any longer.

 

[Unwythe]

The "23psi" part is where I became rude. I hate liars. And I was in shit-mood. It happens. Besides, I know the difference between someone giving me props, or just picking the car apart to tell why his shit is faster or better. Like I said, once the "23psi" part came along, I just didn't care to talk any longer.

Ah, I got'cha now. Thanks for not flipping out and thinking I was attacking you like most people do. I understand though, because I've had people do that to me before. Ask "do you have this" "do you have that" and when you answer they compare what they have, trying to instigate their car is faster.


Grade A Ricer material there.

 

[Red97Eclipseboy]

Ah, I got'cha now. Thanks for not flipping out and thinking I was attacking you like most people do. I understand though, because I've had people do that to me before. Ask "do you have this" "do you have that" and when you answer they compare what they have, trying to instigate their car is faster.


Grade A Ricer material there.

Glad we understand each other. And believe me, when someone is being cool and diggin' my car, I'm very nice to them. That would be very arrogant of me to just blow them off. Which I'm not.

 

[Unwythe]

Glad we understand each other. And believe me, when someone is being cool and diggin' my car, I'm very nice to them. That would be very arrogant of me to just blow them off. Which I'm not.

Crazy how people can actually talk mature to each other right? On a side note, your car is sexy.

 

[videogamemaster]

Just happened to me today...

I'm at work and this kid comes up in his 240sx with its loud as HELL exhaust and ask him whats in it and he says stock. So I'm like ok what are your plans and he mentions the all classic SR20DET swap. So I tell him when hes done with the swap he should come race me at the track. He asks what car I have. I tell him a 91 GSX and go on with the mod list.

Literally the first thing he says is Wow DSM huh. You know those cars are a piece of shit and you'll blow all your pistons if you run above 8 psi. I just looked at him like WTF and said the STOCK 2g's run 12 psi from the factory and I think the factory knows what they are doing WTF so he just smirked and said yeah w/e...

Seriously pissed me off then as hes walking away he just had to turn and say enjoy your crankwalk... left me in a super pissy mood after that.

 

[Unwythe]

Just happened to me today...

I'm at work and this kid comes up in his 240sx with its loud as HELL exhaust and ask him whats in it and he says stock. So I'm like ok what are your plans and he mentions the all classic SR20DET swap. So I tell him when hes done with the swap he should come race me at the track. He asks what car I have. I tell him a 91 GSX and go on with the mod list.

Literally the first thing he says is Wow DSM huh. You know those cars are a piece of shit and you'll blow all your pistons if you run above 8 psi. I just looked at him like WTF and said the STOCK 2g's run 12 psi from the factory and I think the factory knows what they are doing WTF so he just smirked and said yeah w/e...

Seriously pissed me off then as hes walking away he just had to turn and say enjoy your crankwalk... left me in a super pissy mood after that.

240 guys normally are very, very cocky. When people approach me, or if I see a nice car, if they ask I don't even tell them I drive anything. "What do you drive?" "Just a beater. Anyway, nice car". Because I've given up on todays Tuner crowd actually being nice.

Remember, always expect everyone you meet with a nice car, to hate DSM's. For some reason, we are the Black Sheeps of the entire Tuner car world. V8's hate us because we are "imported" and Imports hate us because we are "domestic". It's just not worth it anymore, because it always ends up in a "my dick is bigger" contest.

I will say though, I've been pleasantly surprised the other day. Going to the store the other day, I saw a guy with a late model Protege with a turbo emblem on the back, exhaust, and a CF Hood. He saw my DSM, and asked out of his window "Hey, is that yours?". He nodded to my car, which just for the record is primered and has multicolor bumpers (I'm poor and lazy, gimme a break. ) But, I was ready for an insult, or a jab at my car, and instead he asks me if I want to sell it, and that he wants an Auto, and that the car is nice.

I love being surprised like that, when you get random compliments. I feel like starting a thread that's about people following you for miles, just to compliment how sexy your car sounds. Now that was badass.

 

[Lofty]

240 guys normally are very, very cocky. When people approach me, or if I see a nice car, if they ask I don't even tell them I drive anything. "What do you drive?" "Just a beater. Anyway, nice car". Because I've given up on todays Tuner crowd actually being nice.

Remember, always expect everyone you meet with a nice car, to hate DSM's. For some reason, we are the Black Sheeps of the entire Tuner car world. V8's hate us because we are "imported" and Imports hate us because we are "domestic". It's just not worth it anymore, because it always ends up in a "my dick is bigger" contest.

I will say though, I've been pleasantly surprised the other day. Going to the store the other day, I saw a guy with a late model Protege with a turbo emblem on the back, exhaust, and a CF Hood. He saw my DSM, and asked out of his window "Hey, is that yours?". He nodded to my car, which just for the record is primered and has multicolor bumpers (I'm poor and lazy, gimme a break. ) But, I was ready for an insult, or a jab at my car, and instead he asks me if I want to sell it, and that he wants an Auto, and that the car is nice.

I love being surprised like that, when you get random compliments. I feel like starting a thread that's about people following you for miles, just to compliment how sexy your car sounds. Now that was badass.

I'm really humble about the NT, but I do get the occasional compliment.
Him: Hey Clean 1g man!
Me: Eh it's not that special.
Him: Turbo?
Me: ...... No.....

Him: Oh, that's still cool, I like how it's almost stock looking
Me:

But then I get a lot of D-bags with my car.
I'm in high school, it's always a joyous occasion to find that my car has been egged and has frozen ketchup and mayo all over it.
I don't even know why, I'm not even a ricer
You guys are gonna say different, but I've been told I'm the most down to earth NT guy some people know , so I don't know why my car gets raped.


Then theres the D-bag at auto zone who's really LA DEE DAW about dsms but he never got his running.
I hate coming in.
Him: "He buddy watcha need, turbo?" *Looks up the cost of the OEM replacement* "That will be 300$"
Me: Ah, not this time.

Another occasion
Him: You gonna AWD swap it?
Me: No sir, nearly impossible with a 1g
Him: No it's not! I helped so and so, do this with so and so
Me: Oh....
Him: Oh hey, you wanna buy a fidanza flywheel for cheap?
Me: No thanks!

Ugh, sometimes the attention sucks, especially with an NT.

And that's my story.