GPtuners
Probationary Member
- 4
- 1
- Dec 22, 2010
-
Frankfort,
Kentucky
This tale begins as my friends convince me that I needed to attend my first-ever DSM shootout. Their reason for asking me was more than part selfish. This selfishness was twofold- they want me to buy one of their DSM shells and know that every time I show up on a road trip, something spectacular happens that they can talk about for years. (They will never let me live down catching the clap from the chick on that camping trip...)
So in order to help inspire me to build a road course DSM instead of riding motorcycles on the track, the plans are made for my first trip up to Norwalk.
After work, I go straight home and get packed. I swing by Michael's house and hop in the truck with him and his brother Erick. We then pick up Jordan and leave the capital of KY on Friday around 7PM. The GPS told us it would be about six hours until we got to our destination. We arrived at the Motel 6 at about 1:00AM, get our cards, and head up to Room 219. Michael was actually going to split a room with a couple of other friends, Nick and Shane. He made it a point to go find them because Erick and myself both snore, and he wanted a good night's rest.
Before we continue, I have to set up an informational sidebar. If you have ever seen the movie Waiting, you know the game and can skip to the next paragraph. The characters in the movie work at a chain restaurant (ie Applebee's, Bennigans) and to help break up the monotony of their day, have devised a penis showing game. They show their testicles or penis in different positions of increasing difficulty, and after they catch someone looking at it, they get to kick them "You got to call them a f@g, okay? The game loses all its meaning if you don't humiliate them for being a f*cking meat gazer, you got that?" This game seems to come up from time to time, and this trip definitely rebooted the game.
So right before leaving the room, Michael catches Jordo and Erick with 'The Brain', which pretty much sets the tone for the trip. We're not grown-ups here, folks! Shane's text to Michael reads he was in Room 211, so Michael heads down there and knocked on the door. Meanwhile, he gets the bright idea to set them up with 'The Brain'. He's nervously looking down both sides of the hallway, listening for the elevator, and hoping no one comes walking around the corner. When no one answers he starts wondering if they sent him to the wrong room, and pictures some old lady coming out and having a heart attack, so he packs up his nuts and makes a call. The room actually belonged to Jerry, who luckily slept through the knocking.
Shane answers his phone, and Michael asks for the room number again. Shane acts half-asleep and tell him the room, which Michael understands to be 217. Shane tells Michael the door is open and to just knock once and come in. Little does Michael know that Shane and Nick are setting him up; they are in bed with Nick's pants down over his ass, Shane acting like he was masturbating under the covers, all to the sounds of porn coming from Nick's iPhone.
Michael knocks once on the door of Room 217, and the door opens up. As the door swings open, he sees a big bald guy laying on an air mattress. As he steps over him he begins to swell with anger, because he was convinced that Shane brought Brandon, who he can not stand! Brandon looks up at him with sleepy eyes as Michaels comes by, puts his bag down next to the bed, and strips down to his boxers. Michael puts on deodorant because he was a bit rank from the drive, then climbs into bed with Shane, who instinctively slides over as Michael climbed in. Michael then elbows him a bit and says "Shane, you're an A$$hole, man... I was standing out in front of 211 with my balls hanging out!"
who responded with "Whatever man" as he rolled over.
Michael wonders why Shane was so moody, but dismisses it to Shane being tired and begins to doze off. Just then his phone lights up, bringing him back to consciousness. He picks up the phone, sees Shane was calling, and elbows Shane again saying "Shane! You're butt-dialing me!"
No response.
Michael clicks 'Ignore' and drift back off. The phone lights up again! This time, instead of bothering Shane, he decides to answer the phone to see if he could locate it around Shane's passed out body. When he answers the phone, he hears Shane and Nick laughing hysterically...
What.
The.
F*ck?
He goes COLD as he realizes that he has been laying nearly naked in bed with a strange man, with at least two of his buddies within beating distance, for the last 30 MINUTES! His heart races as he slides out of bed, puts on his pants, throws on his shirt (inside out), and uses his phone to see if he dropped anything. He grabs his bag and makes his way to the door, trying not to wake anyone. As he steps over the guy that was definitely NOT Brandon, the guy looks up with a look of disgust that screams "IN or OUT Mother-F*cker, IN or OUT" almost as if he didn't care, as long as Michael quit bothering him.
Michael goes in the hallway, calls back Shane and yells "Stop f*cking around man, WHAT ROOM ARE YOU IN!?!?!"
Shane says "117."
"I AM in 117!"
"Are you at the right hotel?"
"Yes. I'm in the Motel 6, outside of 217, which is not your room."
"Dude, you just said 217. We're in 117."
"Sh*t. I'll be down in a minute."
He walks into 117 where Shane and Nick have two "Goats" (another game position) waiting for him. He walks in with a glazed look on his face, without even acknowledging them, and says "you are not going to believe this sh*t...." WTF
So in order to help inspire me to build a road course DSM instead of riding motorcycles on the track, the plans are made for my first trip up to Norwalk.
After work, I go straight home and get packed. I swing by Michael's house and hop in the truck with him and his brother Erick. We then pick up Jordan and leave the capital of KY on Friday around 7PM. The GPS told us it would be about six hours until we got to our destination. We arrived at the Motel 6 at about 1:00AM, get our cards, and head up to Room 219. Michael was actually going to split a room with a couple of other friends, Nick and Shane. He made it a point to go find them because Erick and myself both snore, and he wanted a good night's rest.
Before we continue, I have to set up an informational sidebar. If you have ever seen the movie Waiting, you know the game and can skip to the next paragraph. The characters in the movie work at a chain restaurant (ie Applebee's, Bennigans) and to help break up the monotony of their day, have devised a penis showing game. They show their testicles or penis in different positions of increasing difficulty, and after they catch someone looking at it, they get to kick them "You got to call them a f@g, okay? The game loses all its meaning if you don't humiliate them for being a f*cking meat gazer, you got that?" This game seems to come up from time to time, and this trip definitely rebooted the game.
So right before leaving the room, Michael catches Jordo and Erick with 'The Brain', which pretty much sets the tone for the trip. We're not grown-ups here, folks! Shane's text to Michael reads he was in Room 211, so Michael heads down there and knocked on the door. Meanwhile, he gets the bright idea to set them up with 'The Brain'. He's nervously looking down both sides of the hallway, listening for the elevator, and hoping no one comes walking around the corner. When no one answers he starts wondering if they sent him to the wrong room, and pictures some old lady coming out and having a heart attack, so he packs up his nuts and makes a call. The room actually belonged to Jerry, who luckily slept through the knocking.
Shane answers his phone, and Michael asks for the room number again. Shane acts half-asleep and tell him the room, which Michael understands to be 217. Shane tells Michael the door is open and to just knock once and come in. Little does Michael know that Shane and Nick are setting him up; they are in bed with Nick's pants down over his ass, Shane acting like he was masturbating under the covers, all to the sounds of porn coming from Nick's iPhone.
Michael knocks once on the door of Room 217, and the door opens up. As the door swings open, he sees a big bald guy laying on an air mattress. As he steps over him he begins to swell with anger, because he was convinced that Shane brought Brandon, who he can not stand! Brandon looks up at him with sleepy eyes as Michaels comes by, puts his bag down next to the bed, and strips down to his boxers. Michael puts on deodorant because he was a bit rank from the drive, then climbs into bed with Shane, who instinctively slides over as Michael climbed in. Michael then elbows him a bit and says "Shane, you're an A$$hole, man... I was standing out in front of 211 with my balls hanging out!"
who responded with "Whatever man" as he rolled over.
Michael wonders why Shane was so moody, but dismisses it to Shane being tired and begins to doze off. Just then his phone lights up, bringing him back to consciousness. He picks up the phone, sees Shane was calling, and elbows Shane again saying "Shane! You're butt-dialing me!"
No response.
Michael clicks 'Ignore' and drift back off. The phone lights up again! This time, instead of bothering Shane, he decides to answer the phone to see if he could locate it around Shane's passed out body. When he answers the phone, he hears Shane and Nick laughing hysterically...
What.
The.
F*ck?
He goes COLD as he realizes that he has been laying nearly naked in bed with a strange man, with at least two of his buddies within beating distance, for the last 30 MINUTES! His heart races as he slides out of bed, puts on his pants, throws on his shirt (inside out), and uses his phone to see if he dropped anything. He grabs his bag and makes his way to the door, trying not to wake anyone. As he steps over the guy that was definitely NOT Brandon, the guy looks up with a look of disgust that screams "IN or OUT Mother-F*cker, IN or OUT" almost as if he didn't care, as long as Michael quit bothering him.
Michael goes in the hallway, calls back Shane and yells "Stop f*cking around man, WHAT ROOM ARE YOU IN!?!?!"
Shane says "117."
"I AM in 117!"
"Are you at the right hotel?"
"Yes. I'm in the Motel 6, outside of 217, which is not your room."
"Dude, you just said 217. We're in 117."
"Sh*t. I'll be down in a minute."
He walks into 117 where Shane and Nick have two "Goats" (another game position) waiting for him. He walks in with a glazed look on his face, without even acknowledging them, and says "you are not going to believe this sh*t...." WTF
that is FN hilarious priceless sir.
