The The Official stupid things cops have said to you thread

[ohmygahitsjosh]

only thing i can remember right now is the first day i was cruising down the road with my front bumper cover off and the cop pulled me over to ask me why my radiator is on the outside of my car.

bahahahahahahhha
still laughing at this so amazing haha

 

[CHAR-FT]

Driving my moms old Caddy, I was pulled over on 376 going towards pittsburgh and this state trooper pulls me over. This guy gets out of his cruiser and starts to waddle towards my car. He is so muscular that he cant walk normal and his arms looked like arnold when he was using roids. once he gets to my car he asked me If I knew how fast I was going so I said, 72, He said. "NO" with a voice so deep he could probably break my windows by screaming at them. "You just sit here in your cadillac with your air conditioning while I write you a ticket." talk about weird ... his attitude just made me laugh and I really didnt care about paying the fine or having points on my license at that point..

 

[importracr317]

On a bike - I was fully gear'd up, coming home from my then girlfriend's house (now my wife), late at night, wide open country roads, clear night, just rolled on the throttle up to 110-120 or so for a couple seconds, not really pushing it, slowed back down to 45ish (it was a 50 mph zone), slowed down to turn into my subdivision, caught a glimpse of flashing lights in my mirrors, three squads pulled me over about 2 blocks away from my house.

Cop: "you shouldn't have stopped"
Me:
Cop: "if you had kept going, I wouldn't have been able to catch you and you probably would've gotten away"
Me: "but I wasn't running from you"
Cop: ......

.....

Cop: "put your hands behind your back."

(BTW, i've never considered running on a bike, car or otherwise - just opened it up on the wrong road that night)

Cop: Errr well.... i could, but how bout u roll up your windows
Me: Why officer? (they were down the whole time)
Cop: Ahhh yup, like i guessed tints

After it all, he wrote me a fix-it ticket for my tints

I had a cop pull me over once for all that same stuff - illegal exhaust, tints, no front plate, etc. He said he was only going to ticket me for tinted windows.

Me: "Sir, how about if I take the tint off right now, would you let me go without a ticket?"
Cop: "I'd like to see you try that son..."
Me: ...I proceed to peel the tint film off the drivers side window....
Cop: "OK, consider this a verbal warning - have a nice day"....

I paid like $40 a window for tint - the ticket would've been $100....I think I won that day

 

[CHAR-FT]

On a bike - I was fully gear'd up, coming home from my then girlfriend's house (now my wife), late at night, wide open coutnry roads, clear night, just rolled on the throttle up to 110-120 or so for a couple seconds, not really pushing it, slowed back down to 45ish (it was a 50 mph zone), slowed down to turn into my subdivision, caught a glimpse of flashing lights in my mirrors, three squads pulled me over about 2 blocks away from my house.

Cop: "you shouldn't have stopped"
Me:
Cop: "if you had kept going, I wouldn't have been able to catch you and you probably would've gotten away"
Me: "but I wasn't running from you"
Cop: ......

.....

Cop: "put your hands behind your back."

(BTW, i've never considered running on a bike, car or otherwise - just opened it up on the wrong road that night)

--double rainbow guy says "Thats so intense!"

but anyways, yea thats messed up! I guess you tripled the speed limit so he technically had to take you in although he could have been nice about it and lowered the speed you were going. just proves some officers are idiots and others are pretty laid back.

 

[tkrPerformance]

here is my best one.
got pulled over a few blocks from home I work afternoons so it was 11pm. they were looking for drunks.
cop: do you know why I pulled you guys over
me: no
cop: were are you guys headed
me: home from work it is 2 blocks down
cop: do you guys know that your tint is to dark
me: (got tired of the bs) what do you me you guys
cop: the 2 of you in the car
me: what me and my lunch box
(cop) not saying any thing looks really conifused at this point
cop: have a nice night (walks away imbarresed)

all this was going on when I was in my 1995 evolution III. he did not even realize the car was RHD and I was the only one in it till I said somthing about it

 

[CHAR-FT]

here is my best one.
got pulled over a few blocks from home I work afternoons so it was 11pm. they were looking for drunks.
cop: do you know why I pulled you guys over
me: no
cop: were are you guys headed
me: home from work it is 2 blocks down
cop: do you guys know that your tint is to dark
me: (got tired of the bs) what do you me you guys
cop: the 2 of you in the car
me: what me and my lunch box
(cop) not saying any thing looks really conifused at this point
cop: have a nice night (walks away imbarresed)

all this was going on when I was in my 1995 evolution III. he did not even realize the car was RHD and I was the only one in it till I said somthing about it

haha, best one so far!

 

[kottyking]

"I'm gonna take this cool pipe and this nug and dispose of it properly". Sure you are officer. (After being a dick for a half hour, pulling us over for no front plate, and snooping around like a nosey pig)

 

[ramsack]

And meanwhile limos can be 0% behind the driver, and limos are more notorious for cocaine usage and murders than just the common car. In PA here it is 70% all around. Why even bother? What happens if you get glass that is actually tinted?

 

[AK Maniak]

I got pulled over for my tint being too dark in my 98 RS and as he was handing me my fix it ticket he said that I was lucky that he didn't give me any tickets for ALL my illegal modifications ( just a muffler and intake). I asked him which of my modifications were illegal and he said that he could hear my aftermarket turbo... I told him that my car was N/A to which he laughed at and then said that he wasn't born yesterday and then he just walked away.

 

[kottyking]

And meanwhile limos can be 0% behind the driver, and limos are more notorious for cocaine usage and murders than just the common car.

Just ask ray lewis.

 

[Dr Funkenstein]

"I'm gonna take this cool pipe and this nug and dispose of it properly". Sure you are officer. (After being a dick for a half hour, pulling us over for no front plate, and snooping around like a nosey pig)

"I'm going to pull over this dude, take his bowl and weed and... dispose of it... into my lungs."

 

[idoceclipse]

just got back from the court house to pay an accident ticket. I have a metal mitsubishi keychain that i put in one of the buckets.
Cop:"Is this a switch blade son?"
Me:" Uhhhhh, no? its just a key chain."
Cop:"Well switch blades are illegal, do think about bringing one in here."
Me:"Can i go pay my ticket now?"

 

[99gst_racer]

In PA here it is 70% all around. Why even bother? What happens if you get glass that is actually tinted?

A buddy's mother was pulled over and ticketed a few years ago for the factory tint (you could hardly tell it was tinted) on her Trans Am. She was able to easily fight it and win though.

"I'm gonna take this cool pipe and this nug and dispose of it properly". Sure you are officer. (After being a dick for a half hour, pulling us over for no front plate, and snooping around like a nosey pig)

At least you didn't get arrested. I'd take your outcome over the other possible outcome any day of the week - even if you know he's ilegally adding it to his personal collection. Some officers do that with people around here too if it's a small amount and they know the person enough.

 

[90awd4g63]

About 5 years ago, me and a friend are driving back from some late night fishing. We're in my '94 Accord coupe (all shaved, lowered, illegal tint, including the windshield, etc, etc.) The location was out in the boonies, three counties from where we lived, but it had AWESOME fishing spots (yes they were legal to fish at).
I'm driving the speed limit, as my friend had been drinking and didn't want no problems from the fuzz if something should've happened. Next thing I know, pretty lights are flashing behind me. Here's how it went:

COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: No
COP: You were draggin something from your trunk
Me: Really??? (my trunk was filled will audio goodies, all fiberglass, aint nothing going in my trunk, especially fishing gear)
Me: What was it?
COP: Don't know, it fell off
Me: Umm, ok?
COP: Step out of the vehicle, Sir
What follows next....a field sobriety check on me!!!!

Approximately, 45 minutes later, standing on the side of this road in the middle of nowhere, waiting for LeatherFace to jump out and slaughter us all, he lets me go with a warning for my front license plate in the window. Of course my buddy is having a hellified laugh (I wanted to punch him in the throat).
After this ordeal we continue back home and end up driving thru another county. A cop passes me from the oncoming lane and suddenly whips his car around and throws the lights on. Here's how this went:

COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: No
COP: You're license plate is in the window
Me: I know
COP: I'm giving you a warning
Me: I don't need one, Sir. I just got one
(I show the cop, the warning ticket from the county I just came from)
COP: (giggles) OK, just make sure you fix it. Be safe and have a good night (or something to that affect)

Needless to say, I make him drive when we go fishing. Even though I don't have the Accord anymore, my Talon is even worse when it comes to mods'.

 

[Black Widow97]

Driving my moms old Caddy, I was pulled over on 376 going towards pittsburgh and this state trooper pulls me over. This guy gets out of his cruiser and starts to waddle towards my car. He is so muscular that he cant walk normal and his arms looked like arnold when he was using roids. once he gets to my car he asked me If I knew how fast I was going so I said, 72, He said. "NO" with a voice so deep he could probably break my windows by screaming at them. "You just sit here in your cadillac with your air conditioning while I write you a ticket." talk about weird ... his attitude just made me laugh and I really didnt care about paying the fine or having points on my license at that point..

Haha, he probably thought the caddy was a granny car cause he probly drives a massive lifted hummer with his huge muscles to over-compensate for his tiny penis.

 

[lilrob2069]

Ok so on my way home I get pulled over for the stupidest thing ever.

Cop: Do you know why i pulled you over?
Me: No sir. why is that.
Cop: Because you painted over you tail lights.
My thought: What did my friends do now?
Me: Really Hold on.
Cop: Yes, you can look if you want to.

So he let me out of my car i walk back there. And to my surprise there is no paint on my taillights but the stock mitsu paint (94 GSX)

i Tell him that. Mitsubishi did this to there eclipses.

Cop: Kid do you think I was born yesterday. In a Barn.
Me: No
Cop: Do you think i would be pulling you over if that was true.
Me: Whats true, u were born in a barn. (oops wrong move)
Cop: Excuse me, License and Registration.
Me: Ok

He writes me a ticket for whatever BS due to the paint. Fine with me so i go to the court house with about 8 of my friends with identical cars and a original picture of a Eclipse. Showed it to the judge, the cop argued with the judge about how Much crap this is and i should just pay the ticket and be gone. We literally had the judge and everyone come out and look at all our cars. Walk back in and as soon as we sit down. He slams his hammer and says case dismissed and tells the cop that if he ever pulls me over for something stupid again he will make sure that he gets a desk job. Funniest shit i've seen ever. So when we all left we purposely said bye to him. Pissed him off so bad that he quit the force.

 

[Black Widow97]

Ok so on my way home I get pulled over for the stupidest thing ever.

Cop: Do you know why i pulled you over?
Me: No sir. why is that.
Cop: Because you painted over you tail lights.
My thought: What did my friends do now?
Me: Really Hold on.
Cop: Yes, you can look if you want to.

So he let me out of my car i walk back there. And to my surprise there is no paint on my taillights but the stock mitsu paint (94 GSX)

i Tell him that. Mitsubishi did this to there eclipses.

Cop: Kid do you think I was born yesterday. In a Barn.
Me: No
Cop: Do you think i would be pulling you over if that was true.
Me: Whats true, u were born in a barn. (oops wrong move)
Cop: Excuse me, License and Registration.
Me: Ok

He writes me a ticket for whatever BS due to the paint. Fine with me so i go to the court house with about 8 of my friends with identical cars and a original picture of a Eclipse. Showed it to the judge, the cop argued with the judge about how Much crap this is and i should just pay the ticket and be gone. We literally had the judge and everyone come out and look at all our cars. Walk back in and as soon as we sit down. He slams his hammer and says case dismissed and tells the cop that if he ever pulls me over for something stupid again he will make sure that he gets a desk job. Funniest shit i've seen ever. So when we all left we purposely said bye to him. Pissed him off so bad that he quit the force.

Haha that is awesome dude. Did he actually quit his job after that? I hope so, that would be one less **** cop on the force.

 

[brownfinger]

"I'm gonna take this cool pipe and this nug and dispose of it properly". Sure you are officer. (After being a dick for a half hour, pulling us over for no front plate, and snooping around like a nosey pig)

Ahhh... Wisconsin

I got popped last week. As usual, the cop just knows that I'm up to no good. As usual, I almost choke trying not to laugh when he asks me "What about drugs? Illegal drugs? Are you on drugs? Do you have any illegal drugs in the car?" I can't help it. I laugh every time. Why the hell would I answer "yes sir! Every cubic inch of the trunk that isn't full of dead hookers is stuffed with cocaine. My weed is in my pants!"

Seriously, I was so high that I forgot I had been drinking all friggin' day after having woken-up still drunk from my sister's wedding the night before. When he asked if I was drinking, I said no, and he believed me, because I believed me.

He asked "Do you know what the speed limit is?" I said: "Uh, apparently it's 55mph" as I pointed to the 20ft. tall sign situated 20ft. in front of my car.

He asks: "Well, why are you so nervous? You seem a little shakey. Do you know how fast you were going?"

Me: "Well I just got pulled over by the state police while I have no idea how fast you caught me going"

Cop: "Do you have a front lisence plate on this car?"

Me: "Well hell, it better be there, unless it fell off! It was there when I left." He goes to check. This is funny, because he caught me head-on in the speed trap, and it's a white plate on a black car. He comes back to my window and I'm like: "Well?" He says: "Well what?" I ask "is it there?". He's confused: "Is what there?"

Somewhere along the line I noticed something that made it impossible not to laugh, but my instincts controlled me because I knew how ugly this could get if I didn't play it cool: At some time during his shakedown I had a chance to check him out, and I saw all the shiney, glittery lights making pretty colors on his name-tag. It said: Officer N. C-O-L-O-N. That's right, N. Colon. His name is Colon. At some point in his life, he realized that his name is A$$hole, so why not become a cop? God, that was tough not laughing or mentioning it. That was seriously the turning-point when I realized that I was in control of the situation.

I was going 86 in a 55. I could have been arrested for reckless driving if he wanted. He wrote me a ticket for 85, so I didn't need to go to court for 30+ over. I think I got brownie points with him for telling the truth when he asked if I'd ever been arrested for drugs before. I was arrested with under 2.5grams of pot, back in 1996. I think I'm older than him, too. I never even got to use my true excuse: I've had my first turbo car for over a year now, and I've only just recently gotten it to a point where it's safe/reliable enough to take it up to the city(Chicago) and tear-it-up on the expressways.

I will gladly pay this ticket. On the way up to my sister's wedding, I was driving at 100+mph, ninja-style, with an open cocktail in my hand: There was no way I was walking into that situation 100% sober. The Illinois State police earned their $140 that day! It could have been so much worse. I thanked him as I pulled away.

Ok so on my way home I get pulled over for the stupidest thing ever.

Cop: Do you know why i pulled you over?
Me: No sir. why is that.
Cop: Because you painted over you tail lights.
My thought: What did my friends do now?
Me: Really Hold on.
Cop: Yes, you can look if you want to.

So he let me out of my car i walk back there. And to my surprise there is no paint on my taillights but the stock mitsu paint (94 GSX)

i Tell him that. Mitsubishi did this to there eclipses.

Cop: Kid do you think I was born yesterday. In a Barn.
Me: No
Cop: Do you think i would be pulling you over if that was true.
Me: Whats true, u were born in a barn. (oops wrong move)
Cop: Excuse me, License and Registration.
Me: Ok

He writes me a ticket for whatever BS due to the paint. Fine with me so i go to the court house with about 8 of my friends with identical cars and a original picture of a Eclipse. Showed it to the judge, the cop argued with the judge about how Much crap this is and i should just pay the ticket and be gone. We literally had the judge and everyone come out and look at all our cars. Walk back in and as soon as we sit down. He slams his hammer and says case dismissed and tells the cop that if he ever pulls me over for something stupid again he will make sure that he gets a desk job. Funniest shit i've seen ever. So when we all left we purposely said bye to him. Pissed him off so bad that he quit the force.

Truley freakin' awesome!

 

[Tanro]

all this was going on when I was in my 1995 evolution III. he did not even realize the car was RHD and I was the only one in it till I said somthing about it

BWHA That reminds of my first ride in my bro's evo7 after he got the tune dialed in on the newely built engine.

Doing 150+ on the interstate and we get blue lighted for doing 5-6 over on surface streets.

Cop walks up to my window and says "Son do you know you were exceeding the speed limit?". I reply to him "no sir I had no clue I don't have a speedometer and have no clue how fast the car was going".

"Can I see your drivers license son".
"Sure I guess" I reply so I hand him my license.
"Can you just step out of the car while I go run your license and plates son"

I step out of the car and he comes back after a few minutes and starts filling out a ticket. As he is filling out the ticket I just coughed and asked him "Sir wouldn't you like to at least take the driver's information before you ticket him"

I got a blank stare. Then "what"

"Well sir that is a Japanese Right Drive EVO and the steering wheel and pedals are the other side along with the gauges. I wasn't kidding when I said I don't have a speedo and had no clue we were speeding" He looks in the car dumbfounded and apologizes. Tells me he thought I was being a smartass and tells us to be safe.

 

[dasithkg]

check this out

YouTube - eagle talon police chase

 

[brownfinger]

Well, there's one less awd 1G.

 

[Tanro]

Thats a few years old, and I believe it happened here in Alabama Lol.

 

[cookmeup272]

Love that video

 

[cs82685]

BWHA That reminds of my first ride in my bro's evo7 after he got the tune dialed in on the newely built engine.

Doing 150+ on the interstate and we get blue lighted for doing 5-6 over on surface streets.

Cop walks up to my window and says "Son do you know you were exceeding the speed limit?". I reply to him "no sir I had no clue I don't have a speedometer and have no clue how fast the car was going".

"Can I see your drivers license son".
"Sure I guess" I reply so I hand him my license.
"Can you just step out of the car while I go run your license and plates son"

I step out of the car and he comes back after a few minutes and starts filling out a ticket. As he is filling out the ticket I just coughed and asked him "Sir wouldn't you like to at least take the driver's information before you ticket him"

I got a blank stare. Then "what"

"Well sir that is a Japanese Right Drive EVO and the steering wheel and pedals are the other side along with the gauges. I wasn't kidding when I said I don't have a speedo and had no clue we were speeding" He looks in the car dumbfounded and apologizes. Tells me he thought I was being a smartass and tells us to be safe.

So did he give your brother a ticket?

 

[TurboATM]

...driving along the blvd in myrtle (which runs along side the beach...) going, say 15 in a 35. There is alot of people around, and i think i was trying to check otu some chicks or something...then i get pulled over out of nowhere.

cop-do you know y i pulled you over?\
me-ummm....not really....y?
cop-You look liek you were thinking about speeding! please step out of the car.

then, io get my entire car searched, bc i had some hand tools in the back and he thought it was VERY weird, and i must me a drug lord car thief.


...so i let him search, no biggie, im clean. Then he finds nothing and wasted a half hour of hisown time...and gives me a warning for "2 fast for conditions" !

ha