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The Official funny stuff on Craigslist thread

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"If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid shit: "

That is the craiglist post of the year! :D
 
Jeep Cherokee Ad said:
-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Oh man that got me. ROFL

Most of use with awd wait for adverse weather to do stupid shit every year.

I want a 1g so bad for a winter beater but having 3 vehicles would be a bit excessive :(.
Joel
 
I got a pretty good kick out of this one! I wish It had pictures but least he knows what hes talking about, for the most part!

1991 Eagle Talon TSI 1G AWD Turbo Quick As Hell!!!!!

For when its deleted,

What I have for sale is a 1991 Eagle Talon TSI. This car is FAST! Pulls like hell. It has a clean title and the motor has been rebuilt with about 80k maybe less on the rebuild. The body has around 179k. I have recipts for the work done to the car. It was tuned by Devin at Boostin Performance. It puts down about 300 AWHP. Very fun to drive. Great in the snow. 708-334-8182 is my number feel free to text me for more details and will be more than happy to provide pics.
Here is the list of mods.
Dejon Cold air intake
Megan Turbo Back exhaust
Big 16G turbo Tuned @ 22 psi on pump gas
CX racing front mount intercooler
Dual slim fan radiator fans.
1150cc FIC injectors
340 Aeromotive fuel pump
Prosport wideband gauge
Prosport boost gauge
Prosport coolant temp gauge
Prosport oil pressure gauge
DSM link v3 ECU (will provide cable when car is purchased)
FP oil feed and return lines to turbo.
Oil has been re-routed to feed the turbo from the Oil filter housing and not the head (Better this way because turbo gets fresh oil that is not dirty)
Manual boost controller :)
Motor is a 6bolt so no crankwalk :)

Now for a little history.
When i bought the car, it was running lean as #### cause the retarded previous owner thought it was a genius idea to up the boost to 22 psi without upping the fuel system. So i bought the car and was like I SHALL NOT LET THY 1G BE DAMNED TO A RETARD OWNER. So i saved its life by picking it up and getting injectors and a fuel pump for it. Air to fuels were perfectly fine after the re-tune by boostin. At WOT, it gets to about 11.2 at full boost which is right where it should be. Another problem is the retarded owner didn't think it was a good idea to plug in the radiator fans so they would only work when the car was moving and air hit the fan. At idle i hit coolant temps up to around 215 degrees. Not enough to blow a head gasket or seize a motor but nonetheless a problem. So I went to a shop in plainfield called GR customs. The work they did to get the fans re-running was phenomenal. The engine bay no longer had ghetto retard wiring and actually looked like a car. The owner of GR is a personal friend of mine and is known for doing work on DSMs as he has owned 10 of them and is great at doing work with them as hes built numerous shop cars to run in the 9-10 second range. Id also provide his number if you are interested in any work there cause hes good. After getting the radiator fixed i now run temps around 185 and stay there. Again, right where the numbers should be. This car has had its mechanical problems restored. I also had changed the serpentine belt as that was wearing off too.

The bad- paint is flat black you can text me for detail and pics and ill be happy to provide
It doesnt look as sexy as a 2G but again 1Gs are better anyway
GOOD NEWS THO...if u want ill resand it and do that crap for a little closer to my price of course...## paying for materials/labor (beer).

If you are against the 2nd amendment- DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you think that nitrous will drop a floor panel-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you think that obama is a good president-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you have never changed you own oil-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you have never had a beer in your life-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you dont like swearing in public-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you dont like women with an ass-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you like a car that sucks in the winter-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you like going really slow-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you think 9-11 was a conspiracy-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you are excited for pumpkin spice season-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you own a snapback, OBEY shirt, or a shirt that says "SWAG"-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you plan on playing any track by Justin Bieber while you retain ownership of the vehicle-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR (I WILL UNPLUG ALL SOURCES OF SOUND)
If you dont like country music-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR
If you think gun control is a viable source to solve chicago crime-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR (Get Your head checked too please)
If you drink hard liquor only because you are too much of a ####y to drink a beer-DO NOT BUY THIS CAR

NOW!!!!!!!!!
If you have ever called someone ### because they drive a miata-THIS IS YOUR CAR( May even drop price)
If you love v8s strictly because they cant grab traction to save their life making them free wins-THIS IS YOUR CAR
If you think that Kanye West is a shitty rapper and needs a reality check-THIS IS YOUR CAR
If you love EDM music and think Jahan and Yasmine Yousaf have sexy voices-THIS IS YOUR CAR
If you think that the Toyota Prius is an abomination to the gods of Boost,Ignition timing and all mighty internal combustion-THIS IS YOUR CAR
If you own a set of tools and actually use them to learn something-THIS IS YOUR CAR
If you think that grabbing traction and hitting boost is a viable replacement for displacement-THIS IS YOUR CAR (And you're right)
If you plan on rallying it and going off road-THIS IS YOUR CAR(hit me up when u do too...never had the cash for it)
If you like coors light-THIS IS YOUR CAR (Id hope you'd join me for a few quick ones before u go too)

Price is negotiable HOWEVER

Will you take (Insert lowball offer here)?
No! If i wanted (Insert lowball offer here) I would have asked for (insert lowball offer here)

Are you negotiable?
Absolutely but agian this is my car and im not gonna take a stupid amount.

That price is too high?
Then buy a miata or honda!

Will you travel?
Yes but within reason. hmu for details

Has it ever broken on you?
never left me stranded anywhere as the 4g63 is one of the greatest motors made by man (was a gift from god himself i believe)

Why is this ad so long?
I have too much free time

Will this car get me bitches?
only the finest ones a 1G can offer (please be warned tho)...you might want to let all passengers know beforehand specifically female ones...The car is equipped with a TURBO and due to the breathing difficulties that may be experienced under high G force Acceleration it is advised to remove all tight fitting garments. :)

Again my number is 708-334-8182 feel free to text me for details about the car/pics...also can set up a meeting that way.
 
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