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something for u guys to laugh at.

dremersvision

Proven Member
289
0
Jun 18, 2004
boring a$$ canton, Ohio
Have you ever wished that you could immediately take the words back... Or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did......


1st testimony

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "how much do you charge for a shampoo and a blowjob? " I turned around and walked back out and never went back. Mu husband didn't say a word.... He knew better.

2nd testimony

I was at the golf store comparing different kind of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentleman who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, " I think I like playing with men's balls."

3rd testimony

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "no, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister never lets me forget.

4th testimony

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "if you don't let me go right now, I will tell grandma that I saw you kissing daddys pee-pee last night" the silence was deafening after this enlighting exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

5th testimony

This had most of the state of michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any.... A true story....

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to snowed and didnt, turned to the weatherman and asked: "so bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!


Now, didn't that feel good?
 

blcknspo0ln

DSM Wiseman
7,773
91
Jul 31, 2003
Central, New_Jersey
me, my buddy, and my girlfriend were at a pool hall.. when they were talking about baseball..

loud as hell..
mike - "DUDE! you're a catcher!?"
me - " yea man!"
mike- "I'm a pitcher!!!"
me- "NICE!!"
:high - five:
me- ".... oh shit ..."

:| :cry:
 

v8s_are_slow

20+ Year Contributor
2,773
245
Sep 30, 2002
Panama City, Florida
i was trying to start dating this girl about a year ago. well, she was always talking about how she wanted breast implants, blah blah blah. well anyway, one night i'm talking to her about it and told her that i hated breast that are all cut up and have scars on them. she was like,"uh, i had a breast reduction!!!" and hung up on me. apparently she use to be a 38DD if i remember correctly at a height of 5'0" and had a reduction but didn't want them that small. so she already had scars on them. oh my gosh, i think that's the dumbest i've ever felt in my life. even though i was only trying to make her feel better about her breast size. uggghhhh!!!! just can't win sometimes.

scott
 

T_Eclipse

Proven Member
374
0
Oct 28, 2004
Fort Wayne, Indiana
v8s_are_slow said:
i was trying to start dating this girl about a year ago. well, she was always talking about how she wanted breast implants, blah blah blah. well anyway, one night i'm talking to her about it and told her that i hated breast that are all cut up and have scars on them. she was like,"uh, i had a breast reduction!!!" and hung up on me. apparently she use to be a 38DD if i remember correctly at a height of 5'0" and had a reduction but didn't want them that small. so she already had scars on them. oh my gosh, i think that's the dumbest i've ever felt in my life. even though i was only trying to make her feel better about her breast size. uggghhhh!!!! just can't win sometimes.

scott
You speak the truth brotha. Something like that happened to me as well.

I was with this girl back in high school and we've been dating for about 3 months or so. This girl was a very nice looking girl with like B size breasts and pretty face and body but she had a extremely low self esteem, we're talking no self esteem wha-tso-ever. So I had to watch what I say around her. Well, one day her, I, and her best friend were at our highschool and we were hanging around her locker just chit chatting. I don't know why I was thinking this but I was wondering if the pockets on her shirt were real. So I lifted up the flap and there was no pocket underneath. So I put the flap down and said "huh" She said "what are you thinking." Mind you the pockets was located right on her breasts. I without thinking about what I was saying pointed right at her pocket and said "look their fake." Her face turned beet red and she and friend walked away. Then I did the next guy thing (ALL YOU GUYS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I"M ABOUT TO DO) and said "What, What did i say." :thumb:

She didn't like very much. We broke up shortly after.
 

dremersvision

Proven Member
289
0
Jun 18, 2004
boring a$$ canton, Ohio
having basketball practice a couple of days ago and i had two of my basketballs with me so being i couldnt hold them both and carry my bag i asked one of my team mates "hey mike can you grab one of these balls" everyone bursted out laughing. i wasnt amused.
 
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