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Silly/funny/dumb things parts store workers say.

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91-GS

Proven Member
1,390
65
Jan 12, 2013
Paris, Tennessee
This is not meant to insult or offend anyone who works at auto parts store, only here for entertainment purposes.

Here are few stories to get the ball rolling:

91-GS: Another parts store person once recommended JB Weld to seal up cracked cast exhaust header and i was dumb enough to try that. Next day i ordered a stainless header since the JB Weld not only not seal the crack, but started burning and filled the car with a terrible smell so it was barely drivable even with all windows open.


NHerron: Walked into Napa and asked for a certain part number spark plug (set), so I wouldn't have to go through the whole year-make-model process. Well they still insisted and I wanted to get outta there so I told them. I confirmed 4 cylinder turbo and waddya know the dork says "how many you want"
Gee I don't know, 4? I'll bang out the repair and let you know if I find it's a Hemi or something and need more


CrackedDSM: Kind of like when I was ordering a headgasket. We went through the whole year, make, model, etc. In the end he was like "we've got three here for $40 each...so two would be $80 and some change". Amused, I responded with "I only need one.." and he instantly responded with "Oh, you're only doing one side?" I kind of paused a little bit trying not to laugh at him and said, gently, "It's a four cylinder...". After hearing that, he hung up on me.
 
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Me: I need and alt for a 91 Saturn and GM plug ####
Him: Ok what kind of car is this going in?
Me: Does it matter?
Him: Kinda
Me: OK 92 Eclpise
Him: What?
Me: Yeah I told you it doesnt matter, Do you have the alt and plug.
Him: Sure (gets on the phone and calls a freind at GM).
Him: Ive never heard of such a thing, neither has my frind.
Me: So you have the alt and plug?
Him: Brings out the alt and plug and rings me up. You know theres a $25 core charge.
Me Yeah
Him: I can only take a Saturn alt as a core return.
Me: Ok and you can tell the differience?? And walked out :)

Since then, Ive gottin to know the guy, hes a gear head but 4x4s and V8s. Moral, NEVER really tell them the true story, just give them part numbers ;)
 
me: I need and alt for a 91 saturn and gm plug ####
him: Ok what kind of car is this going in?
Me: Does it matter?
Him: Kinda
me: Ok 92 eclpise
him: What?
Me: Yeah i told you it doesnt matter, do you have the alt and plug.
Him: Sure (gets on the phone and calls a freind at gm).
Him: Ive never heard of such a thing, neither has my frind.
Me: So you have the alt and plug?
Him: Brings out the alt and plug and rings me up. You know theres a $25 core charge.
Me yeah
him: I can only take a saturn alt as a core return.
Me: Ok and you can tell the differience?? And walked out :)

since then, ive gottin to know the guy, hes a gear head but 4x4s and v8s. moral, never really tell them the true story, just give them part numbers ;)

LOL.
 
Moral, NEVER really tell them the true story, just give them part numbers ;)

Ain't that the truth. Even things like spark plugs for example, you have to ask for the NGK plugs you want or they'll give you shit platinum ones.

A couple I've had,

"Can I get a slave cylinder for a '90 Eclipse?" Reply "Is that a standard or auto?"

"Can I get a wiper switch for an '88 F-150?" Reply "Is that a half-ton?"
 
"throw a bigger turbo and injectors and shoot for 25psi. ran 13s all day till mine blew up." - Oreily Auto Parts worker.

I seriously though he was joking and then he listed all of the cars he's driven. Tried to pull me into getting an Audi...how does one go from a Civic, to a Cobalt, to a SRT4 to a DSM and then to an Audi???? Crazy kid and I bet all of his cars were beaten to death.
 
I hate how they want to know what kind of car it is when u ask for a specific part! I remember when I first got my dsm and I was changing all my fluids to red line I called pepboys to see if they had some mt90

Me do you sell red line mt90 transmission fluid
Him what kind of car
Me it doesn't matter it's not going to be in your system
Him it does matter what kind of car is it
Me (sigh) 98 Eclipse gsx
Him (type type type type) (hmmm) it says here you need diaqueen we don't have that
Me I NEED REDLINE fluid do you or do you not sell it? Go to the wall of fluids and tell me if you sell red line
Him but sir it says you need..
Me (click)
 
I had an oriellys guy who wanted to take a look under my hood after reading a cel for me and noticed I had two 'radiators'. He asks why I had two and I told him "That one is called an interCOOLER and is meant to cool incoming air" he looks at me puzzled and asks "So is that part of your A/C?" Haha funniest thing ever..
 
Wait...A/C as in Auto Controller, right? LOL!
 
Haha sometimes I think those people make up things trying to guess about others. Next time I go to the autoparts store Im speaking in pure DSM tongue LOL. "My 4G63 GSX needs a new VC gasket and vacuum hose for my BC and get quotes on FPRs." Than ill start making Crap up, "And also check for vortex synchronized actuators and see what your deals are for boost fluid, Im running low. Thanks" After each sentence ill mutter "DSM, baby!"
 
....because most were hired for their button pushing abilities, not car knowledge. Hell, I've applied to advanced auto twice through the years, and never even got a call back. But they've hired two or three since then who, if you ask them about a turbo mounting kit for a 4g63, will look at you like you've got a hole in your forehead, then ask year, make, and model like a GD robot LOL
 
....because most were hired for their button pushing abilities, not car knowledge. Hell, I've applied to advanced auto twice through the years, and never even got a call back. But they've hired two or three since then who, if you ask them about a turbo mounting kit for a 4g63, will look at you like you've got a hole in your forehead, then ask year, make, and model like a GD robot LOL

Same thing here man.
Went in to apply for a part-time position. Interviewed, twice...got no call back. Had to grab some stuff a week later. The help wanted sign was down and some older blonde with an ok face and fat ass was being trained.

I wont get into the STUPID questions she was asking the manager. But he ended up looking over at me, I just laughed and checked out.
 
Most of the people I work with are diverse with a specific car, I'm the DSM guy at work and everytime I hear someone wanting a part for there DSM I first see if they are smart enough with some DSM talk but if they aren't I just sell them the part they need. Even though everytime I do I feel like a part of me dies. I talked to a guy that claimed he got his car rebuilt and boosted up to 8 psi with a new turbo. I asked 8 psi? Sounds like you got screwed man. He's like no it's fast bro. I just dropped it and said cool man see you around town. And sold him his part.
 
Same thing here man.


x3. I always love when they try to give me advice on how to work on my own car like they are ASE Master Certified mechanics. In my youth I would troll the shit out of them, but as I get older I just shake my head, agree to whatever they are saying and walk out.



I talked to a guy that claimed he got his car rebuilt and boosted up to 8 psi with a new turbo. I asked 8 psi? Sounds like you got screwed man. He's like no it's fast bro. I just dropped it and said cool man see you around town. And sold him his part.


Turbo and details matter here. PSI is insignificant without airflow. 8 psi from a 14B isn't impressive. 8 PSI from a 35R on a non-turbo motor(like if he turbo'ed his GS) is very impressive in terms of power.
 
Same thing here man.
Went in to apply for a part-time position. Interviewed, twice...got no call back. Had to grab some stuff a week later. The help wanted sign was down and some older blonde with an ok face and fat ass was being trained.

I wont get into the STUPID questions she was asking the manager. But he ended up looking over at me, I just laughed and checked out.
I always said they were scared I'd take their job later, with my superior(though not exactly vast) automotive knowledge.
The funny thing is, I probably could if I wanted their craptastic job. Example: I go in there a couple weeks back, walk up to the store manager, and ask if he could get torque converter bolts for my tsi. His answer: bring the bolt with you next time, and we can match it in their 'fabulous' bolt selection. Me: roll my eyes and walk out
 
Turbo and details matter here. PSI is insignificant without airflow. 8 psi from a 14B isn't impressive. 8 PSI from a 35R on a non-turbo motor(like if he turbo'ed his GS) is very impressive in terms of power.

He had a GST. So I'm assuming eBay turbo, but I didn't ask because I didn't want to be disappointed with the answer again. He had it rebuilt by a shop. He said it was an upgraded turbo. So if 8 psi is an upgrade for a gst then that's kind of a downer.
 
I go in the parts store and ask for a starter for a 350 sbc. Parts guy what's it in. A 64 Impala. That's not the engine that in it they only had a 283 409 or a 6 cylinder in them. Me really!!! So your saying it don't have a 350? Yes that's what it (computer) says.well sir I know its a 350nuts I put it in so why don't you just give me the 283engine starter it'll work. Him no it wont. Me ok can I have the starter or do I need to go somewhere else.

Go in to another parts store I need break calipers for a 1972 Malibu. What engine. 396 searching on computer fir 10 min. Me ok its a small block car I put the big block in it. Him huh?? Me can I have someone else help me I need my car done today.
 
I went into a store looking for something pretty basic. I don't recall exactly what it was, but it may have been a rubberized strap I was going to use for remote mounting an oil sending unit. I was somewhat of a regular in the store and would occasionally duck behind the counter and help customers since I'd previously worked the store level but had been promoted to corporate. A few weeks before this particular visit, I had been laid off from my corporate position due to departmental downsizing, never to be picked back up in the stores.

There's a new kid who is very enthusiastic about helping me each time I come in. By now, it's been about 3 years since I've done any kind of store-layout stuff, so I ask where I could find this thing I was looking for. With no idea what to call it, I offered a picture of one on my phone and indicated that it was exactly what I needed, just too small. While he was bright enough to not attempt to look it up, he wasn't bright enough to decline my challenge as he started to walk to the back of the store, past his manager.

I shouted down the isle "Hey, if I can find this thing faster than you can, does that mean I get your job?" His manager glaring at me with a comical smirk as the young-gun obliged.

I walked to the isle where the item logically was, asked the Manager for an application and began to fill it out.

While I didn't take the kids job, he no longer jumps to help me find what I was looking for. Instead, he and his manager calmly revolved a screen and mouse in my direction and allow me to wander the back isles, pulling what I need, correctly the first time, without all the B.S. questions.
 
PSI is an arbitrary number too commonly associated with horsepower. CFM is important. :tease: Nice job. You schooled him well.

Why do you think we upgrade turbos? To run more boost (PSI) or to increase airflow (CFM)?
 
I went to the local Dodge dealer to get the special lubricant for my manual transmission. Tell the guy all car info and exactly what I needed, explained it to him three times while he clicked around on his computer. He tells me, "you need to go next door (Hyundai dealer) for that. So I drive across the lot to the Hyundai counter and explain to them what I need and that the guy at the Dodge parts counter sent me over. The two guys working there ask why in the hell did he send you over. Gets on the phone and calls over to the dodge parts guy.

After 5 min on the phone he tells me to go back over to the dodge counter he found what I need. I drive back over, at this point I was pissed off and was going to just leave, which I should have, you will see why in a minute. Walk back in and up to the counter, the guy tells me "you have a stick, you said transmission fluid" in a smart ass tone trying to make it sound like all the confusion was my fault. No, "I said three times manual trasmission oil for the NV-T350 transmission." He pulls out three quarts of some gear oil and says "This is the suff you need right here."

I get home jack up the car, go to drain the trans but decided to check the tag and compare part numbers. Of course what he gave me was incorrect. I look up the part number for what he gave me and it was for a manual trans out of an old full size pickup and older model jeeps. Yeah thats the stuff I needed.

Eventually, I went back with the correct part number in hand and exchanged what I was given for what I needed. Best part is when I was given the correct stuff the bottle had NV-T350 printed on it in big bold letters.
 
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I went to pick up some H1 bulbs for my Projectors the other day and they didnt have any in the bulb area, so I asked the guy at the counter if they had any H1s in the back:

"Whats the year, make, and model sir?"

Me: "Its not gonna matter they are for Halo Projectors.."

Guy: "Oh, well we dont sell aftermarket bulbs, if you want LEDs your going to have to order them online"

Me: "Thats cool, but im not looking for LED's right now, I just need some 55w H1's so I have high beams for now.."

Guy: "Well we dont sell those.." In pissy tone

Me: "Oh, ok, so the rack over there has 2 different types of H1 bulbs that are emtpy for no reason because you guys dont sell em? Cool, Ill go to the Advanced down the road.."

Guy: "They arent going to have them either... so enjoy wasting the gas!!"

Me: "Thanks for your concern sir... by the way... you may wanna restock your bulb section... and when you find those H1s... think of me ;)"


Went down the road and hd the bulbs in the car 15 mins later
 
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