Share your "Owned" Stories

[leet]

When I was 8, I had to visit the Emergency Room. During Thanksgiving Dinner.

I was cutting a bread roll with a Cutco Steak Knife (####ing SHARP) and decided to attempt to cut my left ring finger off. Oops.

Car wise, I had a newish SS Camaro beat me by a car length.

 

[1993eclipseGS]

I was chasing my sister when I was younger and she stopped dead and put her foot up, It hit me in the nuts and i just fell over crying owned..

I was chasing my sister and she ran into her room and i went to jump on her bed, It was very dark so i couldent see, I fell on the floor, My mom and her moved her room around earlier in the day..Therefore the bed wasent in the same spot.. Owned..

I tried riding down the sliding board with roller blades on like the other kids, Fell on the mulch and broke my wrist, Yes.. Owned again.

Ran in to the back of a parked car when i was young, 4stitches.. owned.

fell on a distrainer, 5stitches..

when i was younger some a kid younger then me cursed me off, I went after him and he trough a piece of wood at my head, 5 stitches and almost blind.. owned..

I was making out with this girl years ago and i was like awsome she's mine, as soon as I left, She made out with my friend.. owned :thumbdown

thats enough for now, I got tons more

 

[Turbo 420a]

I was chasing my sister when I was younger and she stopped dead and put her foot up, It hit me in the nuts and i just fell over crying owned..

I was chasing my sister and she ran into her room and i went to jump on her bed, It was very dark so i couldent see, I fell on the floor, My mom and her moved her room around earlier in the day..Therefore the bed wasent in the same spot.. Owned..

I tried riding down the sliding board with roller blades on like the other kids, Fell on the mulch and broke my wrist, Yes.. Owned again.

Ran in to the back of a parked car when i was young, 4stitches.. owned.

fell on a distrainer, 5stitches..

when i was younger some a kid younger then me cursed me off, I went after him and he trough a piece of wood at my head, 5 stitches and almost blind.. owned..

I was making out with this girl years ago and i was like awsome she's mine, as soon as I left, She made out with my friend.. owned :thumbdown

thats enough for now, I got tons more

Damn, that's more ownage than I can stomach

 

[L2RTSiAWD]

I was chasing my sister when I was younger and she stopped dead and put her foot up, It hit me in the nuts and i just fell over crying owned..

I was chasing my sister and she ran into her room and i went to jump on her bed, It was very dark so i couldent see, I fell on the floor, My mom and her moved her room around earlier in the day..Therefore the bed wasent in the same spot.. Owned..

I tried riding down the sliding board with roller blades on like the other kids, Fell on the mulch and broke my wrist, Yes.. Owned again.

Ran in to the back of a parked car when i was young, 4stitches.. owned.

fell on a distrainer, 5stitches..

when i was younger some a kid younger then me cursed me off, I went after him and he trough a piece of wood at my head, 5 stitches and almost blind.. owned..

I was making out with this girl years ago and i was like awsome she's mine, as soon as I left, She made out with my friend.. owned :thumbdown

thats enough for now, I got tons more

Funniest shit I've read all day :laugh:

 

[TurboBird]

You all remember the Game "Perfect Dark" right? Well I still play my N64 and when me and my gf first hooked up we got to talking about nintendo games. She said she loved "GoldenEye" and that she was really good at it. I told her then you will really like "Perfect Dark," it is exactly the same only with better guns and better game play. So I went home, got the N64, and we hooked it up. B4 we started playing I told her that I was going to whoop-upon her b/c I rocked at that game and no one ever beat me so she could turn up her handicap about 20%. I also said something about her calling me daddy by the time we were done and that I am king sh*t. Anyways it turns out she is really good. We were playing and she messed me up....EVERY D@MN TIME! I killed her maybe 10 times and we played every bit of 40 games. The whole time she was rubbing it in my face to. Saying things like "O you are so good" as I die or "Glad I turned up that handicap" will I am being slain or "Would you like some sims on your team?" as I blow myself up.
I think I was just out of practice b/c the next time I did alot better, but ya I got owned in a big way.
BTW I still had her calling me daddy when the game was over!!!!

 

[L2RTSiAWD]

Diamonds is spelled wrong in your sig.

Add another one to your list.

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[TurboBird]

I was chasing my sister when I was younger and she stopped dead and put her foot up, It hit me in the nuts and i just fell over crying owned..

I was chasing my sister and she ran into her room and i went to jump on her bed, It was very dark so i couldent see, I fell on the floor, My mom and her moved her room around earlier in the day..Therefore the bed wasent in the same spot.. Owned..

I tried riding down the sliding board with roller blades on like the other kids, Fell on the mulch and broke my wrist, Yes.. Owned again.

Ran in to the back of a parked car when i was young, 4stitches.. owned.

fell on a distrainer, 5stitches..

when i was younger some a kid younger then me cursed me off, I went after him and he trough a piece of wood at my head, 5 stitches and almost blind.. owned..

I was making out with this girl years ago and i was like awsome she's mine, as soon as I left, She made out with my friend.. owned :thumbdown

thats enough for now, I got tons more

Damn dude, that is horrible, all of it, but those are great stories you will be able to tell you kids . I am sorry, but that has to be the funniest thing I have heard in a while.

 

[red4G63T]

It was a hot summer day and I was around one of the highschools, I was in my old car when I see a cute chick, I am kicking it to her with my head turned around and making a right when I misjudged the distance and smashed into a parked car. She was like , ran over to my car, I felt like an idiot.

 

[1993eclipseGS]

Well, Since you enjoy hearing about me being owned, I got alot more

When I was younger I thought I could play football with the big kids, They tackled me hard and I hurt my leg, I pretended like it didnt hurt too bad and played some more. They tackled me again and I broke my ankle. owned.

My friends and I were bike riding down the road and I thought I could beat him by 'bunny-hopping' over a wooden rectangle, I was wrong. I made it halfway and flipped over the handlebars and went flying in mid air only to swan dive to the ground. Owned when I went to lick my lips and noticed 3of my teeth were half gone? yes. But then, I went into the pizza place that this accident took place in front of and they told me i couldent use the bathroom to wash up!!! owned. Yet, I payed no attention and used it anyways. They then tried to 'help' me out and put scolden hott water on my cuts!!! owned I got on my bike and rode home to tell my mom, 'mom.. I fell on my bike again.. I need to go to the hospital' Got to the hospital, Found out i needed stitches in my chin, broke my fingers on one hand, fractured my chin and had road rash all over. OWNED several times at once :thumbdown

I went to canada with a friend of mine on vacation and we went to this huge bmx park. I learned alot that week, Got back and went to the crapiest ghetto skatepark that was in a playground of my town. Though i'd try a new trick that i learned and I messed up, I flipped over the bars and landed on my face. I broke my hand and got knocked out. Owned? Yes, Why? Because it was the day before school and I hadto go back with a cast and tons of road rash

Not me being owned but, Down at are bmx trails, There was a humungous hole where we dug 'clay' out of for the jumps. We all took turns pissing in the whole after a rain storm. My friend thought he was cool to show us his 'roll back' on his bike down a little landing. He rolled backwards and flipped over head first into the clay whole we just all pissed in!! :laugh:

Again, I seemed to have tons of badluck when I was younger so I got tons of stories for your amusement

 

[GAdriver]

Well last Sunday I was getting into my car w/ my girlfriend and she lets my door swing open on a slanted yard and it hits their b-ball goal. I kept griping(sp) at her as we were leaving. She didnt hurt nothing but as I was griping at her I wasnt paying attention and backed into her cougar. Now my rear bumper has cracked paint all on it and the lowest estimate ive got for repairson hers is $473.00 . So I guess I was "owned".

 

[Quasimondo]

I was bored as a young'n, so I used to play this weird game. The sidewalk at the end of my block had a large log placed across it, so I would pedal my bike as fast as I could, and slam on the brakes to see how close I could get to the log without touching it. So on this particular day, I pedaled my ass off down the sidewalk. I felt like one of those Motor Trend writers test driving a new Camaro or something. I got to my preplanned braking point and slammed on the brakes. The brakes locked up for a second, and then the cable snapped. I didn't have time to even say "Oh shit" before I slammed my bike into the log and went over the log into the patch of poison ivy that was on the other side.

Another time, at summer camp, we had these field competitions. I entered into the downhill bike sprint for our tent. The bikes they gave us to use weren't bmx bikes, or even mountain bikes, but these rusty old things with spring seats. No matter, I was determined to win. The flag dropped and down we went, me and four other compeitors. I didn't win, but that's when the ownage began. As I tried to slow down from hauling ass down the hill, somehow my front brake locked, and I flipped end over end three times while still on the bike. I busted my chin, my knee, and was pretty lucky that I didn't break any bones. The worst thing about it though was that it was all caught on tape.

 

[Ken]

A friend of mine was driving his sisters rieced out civic to school in the rain. the tires were a little (OK a lot) worn from the lowereing springs. He hydroplaned and slammed into a rock and then a tree.

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[NOSNUSE]

When I was 15 a friend of mine and I stole a entire lawn and dumped it in a lake, now before you start trying to figure it out the guy had just had his lawn sodded like 2 days before so the grass hadn't had time to root so the hardest part was getting it down to the lake at 1 in the morning, then lying to the cops the next day about it. :laugh:

I got owned by Pete Rose when I was 6, down at Al Lang stadium in St. Petersburg, FL watching the Reds durning spring training, Pete Rose pops a fly ball in to the seats up from me and my dad, it bounced down the seats to us and then BAM!! right in the F'ing head. It knocked me down and I am pretty sure a little dumber, but hey I still have that damn ball atugraphed by all the players from 1977.

 

[Auladan]

Back in Okinawa my family and I went out to the local snorkeling beach and decided the abnormally rough waves wouldn’t deter us. We got out there past the coral shore when the currents took us under and pummeled us against the reef. Thank God for the local divers.

Owned.

When I was a wee youngin’, I was outside on a 100+ degree-day in Salt Lake City with my grandparents. There was a large sheet of metal laid out on the grass, practically glowing.

I stood on it.

Owned.

Two years ago I thought I’d be nice to my lil’ bro and his friend and take them out to lunch. On the way back, heading on this upward bend about five miles from my house, my timing belt went redneck on me and lost half its teeth.

Car rolled back in to a deep ditch.

Had to have pops push my car with his truck, bumper to bumper, all the way home.

Owned.

But mine wasn't the only ownage to be had that day. Before pop came, while we were all leanin’ on my car waiting for a Samaritan, my little brother’s teacher pulls over, rolls down her window and goes, “Hey Joseph! Don’t forget to do your homework, it’s due tomarrow.” And leaves.

His turn.

Owned.

Back in Grade School, I was the class clown and thought I was invincible. I dominated this metal slide which had a bar positioned at the top, where you could hold on to before goin’ down. I took to flipping over it, THEN sliding. Feet first.

Culminating an inadvertent feat of gymnastic prowess, I flipped over the bar and landed head down on the slide and slid face first in to the gravel at the bottom. Broke four of my front teeth. Blood everywhere.

On the way to the nurse’s office a kid goes, “Hey, are you on drugs?”

I was 7.

Owned.

 

[dsmmyth]

Car rolled back in to a deep ditch.

Had to have pops push my car with his truck, bumper to bumper, all the way home.

Owned.


Owned.

Eep.

 

[Sp33dster]

i race to much.. and i think i dont care that i get own by cars with high power band because the fun is trying to beat them

well my story is about.. never DIY without thinking , listen kids you could learn something

i owned a bigger plastic air mass meter (bosch AMM , volvo+saab) and i swap it instead of my alim.. metal something well there comes the own part.. i wreck my ECU then i tried to start the car.. well month and 1 week i finally found a ECU that fitted (i was really thing about megasquirt computer instead of ECU) well never go into thing that are electric things without knowing where + and minus go (the plastic AMM had + were - on metal amm was and metal amm had + were - on plastic was)

p.s. electric things are bad for ya

 

[1993eclipseGS]

Your post just owned me... I had to read it twice out loud to even understand half of what you were trying to say

 

[97ClipseDSM]

How about this

I just found out today my best friend slept with the girl i love (was about to get back with)..not once..not twice..not 3 times..but 6. I think i just got Owned.

So thinking i should move on and hangout with someone new that i could trust, i go to this girls work that use to like me alot and i was like pressed over her a few years back (didnt go out with her cause of her b!tchy brother)..so after a few years of not seeing her, i ask her if she wants to go catch a movie tonight, she tells me she has a daughter. OWNED!

 

[fwdturbobov1996]

ive got you beat . I was running down our hall way and I didnt konw the door was closed , so i come running into the door and leave and huge dent . But my luck the door behind me is shut also , so i hit that after bouncing off the 1st one and putting a hole in that one... I guess you could say I had a headache.

 

[97ClipseDSM]

I enjoyed reading all of your stories but i have one i will never forget:

Driving on Old Mine Road in dumfries VA with my 97 RS (before i sold it), im doing about 45 MPH in this very turny road..i see something what looked like a squirrel up ahead right in front of me, knowing how i dont want to run over an innocent squirrel (or atleast didnt ), i swerve to the right just enough so i could miss it..instead i land in the ditch full of rocks and i put on the brakes hard but my car kinda flipped sideways and damaged the right side underneath of the car where the sideskirt is. Also messed up the front bumper. I got out of my car and i find out it was a POSSUM :thumbdown . OWNED

 

[KlipzSpyderGST]

Your post just owned me... I had to read it twice out loud to even understand half of what you were trying to say

I've read it a few times and I still can't figure this shit out.

EDIT: I got an own'd story for you all. This actually happened a few weeks back at one of my teams paintball tournies. For all your Tourney ballers, you'll know what I'm talking about, but I'll try to explain to people that don't play. I own a Shocktech Intimidator, in which basically it has this thing called "Bounce." Basically I can hit the gun and itll go off like 9 to 10 times, and when I start ripping on the gun its common to hit 23 Balls Per Second. Anyways so the refs scream go and Im running since Im a front player. One of my shoe laces came untied somehow, and I stepped on it with my other foot. I fell over, and my gun went off, and first shot me right in the mask. To make matters worse it still was firing, and I shot out 2 of my own team mates on my left side. THEN after the game was over I got called for Illegal bounce settings and I wasn't able to play for the rest of the day.


The team missed finals by 7 Points. It costs a team 3 points everytime a player goes out on that team.



Owned myself. And My team. Rock on

 

[97ClipseDSM]

ive got you beat . I was running down our hall way and I didnt konw the door was closed , so i come running into the door and leave and huge dent . But my luck the door behind me is shut also , so i hit that after bouncing off the 1st one and putting a hole in that one... I guess you could say I had a headache.

MAO, man thats gotta suck. I would have taped "owned" to my forhead after that one.

I remember one time i was gettin ready to take a shower, usually when no one is home i would run down stairs naked to grab something, well i thought no one was home so i ran downstairs butt naked and i ran str8 into my sister . OWNED

 

[97ClipseDSM]

I've read it a few times and I still can't figure this shit out.

He was referring to sp33dsters post.

 

[1993eclipseGS]

I remember one time i was gettin ready to take a shower, usually when no one is home i would run down stairs naked to grab something, well i thought no one was home so i ran downstairs butt naked and i ran str8 into my sister . OWNED

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I bet i'm the only one that has pictures of most of my 'owned' incidents

 

[Auladan]

I just finished my first Winsor Pilates workout.

Pilates > Auladan.

Owned.