jetta vs me

[dirk3]

He pulled up next to me at a stop light it turned green, I started off fast but not full launch.. I was letting off in first when I saw him tryin to run up on me.. He got to my front bumper when I went WOT. Never saw him again through second. He later caught up to me after I was done racing residential and all.. He had his head down and his girlfriend was laughing histericly.. It was a jetta v6, but still felt good enough to post this killlll...

 

[98eclipseRS]

uhhhhh...if you are going to post a kill at least make it readable, you don't even have to make it entertaining(what a kill story should be). Just use proper punctiation and for heavens sake not just one long ass sentence.

Here read my kill story and see how you should start writing kills.

http://www.dsmtuners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=129503

 

[dirk3]

Well Holly sh** you are the man, I wish I read your post on the proper way to word a kill... Again sorry for the run on sentences. I thought this was a track talk forum not a grammer lesson.. But hey I really appreciate your input, and will put it to use in the future...



Here read my kill story and see how you should start writing kills, Hummm good grammer???

 

[UCSLugRacerX]

uhhhhh...if you are going to post a kill at least make it readable, you don't even have to make it entertaining(what a kill story should be). Just use proper punctiation and for heavens sake not just one long ass sentence.

Here read my kill story and see how you should start writing kills.

http://www.dsmtuners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=129503

Hey 98eclipseRS--you do make valid points regarding grammer and such. Although I read your story, and it was full of agreement errors, misspelled words, fragmented sentances and incorrect conjugations. (For your referance I am a writing tutor at the University of California, Santa Cruz.) Furthermore, the narrative is redundant in numerous segments and your personification of the WRX is inconsistent and with tense agreement errors.
My primary point: insisting your writing is superior is ostentatiously ignorant, as your writing would barely suffice as a middle school rough draft.

Here is your story:
So after finally installing my prothane motor mounts and fixing my extremely bad exhaust leak it was time to actually try and find someone to race around my area, considering I have never been able to get anyone to run them. I think the ricer in me keeps scaring them off with the bov. anyway here is how the night went down.

Oh yes my appologies in advance for the very long post but I figured that I would spice up the kills that have been posted in this section, lately it seems as if the whole post would be this " so ### in celica wants to race, we line up, i take him by like 3 cars yay dsm!!!"



Friday mourning starts off like anynormal day of the week for me, I get ready for school, eat some food and then its time to leave. Today however had a new turn of events in store for me and the tempermental bi*** that I love so much. As I slip into the leather clad seat, of my eclipse I notice a strange feeling in the air, that of unsettled business and despair. I know right away that Marisa is not happy with me, as I put the key into the ignition I hesitate thinking to myself if I wanted to unleash the fury of the mighty 2.0L beast that I was in power over. After several seconds of thinking of the consequences of my actions I decided to venture forth like a great explorer sent out to find the new world. Each click of the ingnition brought anticipation and fear of what might happen in the next few hours. Finally the motor turns over, alas what is this! The beast has been brought into a slumber of some sorts. I try again and to no avail cannot get the engine to come to life. Ah ha, I think to myself Marisa is getting revenge for my recent lack of action that I have brought apon her, but how will I convince her of the treats that lay ahead? I decide that i will make her jelous by driving the beater to school today and seeing if she will cooperate later that night.

By now it is getting dark and the time has come to seee if my plan had actually worked, again I slide into the cockpit of my car, with the first click of the ignition all my electronics light up. My friend being the pushrod loving hillbilly that he is must comment on my apperent love of lights by him saying "dude you have more electronics than radio shack." I don't know if it was his unwitty comment or if my plan had actually worked but at that very instant all 122 cubic inches of fury roared to life. The night was still young and many a cocky drivers must be put in there place, knowing her duty my car started for the glory that was to come for her. The beggining part of the night was pretty uneventful, and Marisa was growing tired and restless, her eradic idle and hesitation to accelerate was telling me something needed to happen and soon. Frantically I searched for some prey, the lowered stance of the car giving the appearance that I was eating the road in front of me as I drove. And then I spotted it, in the distance ahead. At first glance it looked like your normal everyday WRX with exhaust. I would have hoped for more but and apetizer would have to do for now. I increase my pace ever so slightly as not to disturb the prey by letting it know I was comming. However as I approach I see something that disrupted the plan, had I bitten off more than I could chew. I 14 inch wind addorned the back of this blue beast of the night. Ah yes, I had heard of these animals before. They belonged to the species know as STI. Yes, yes this night would be good after all. My over excitement allerted the prey of my location, and the chase was on. The STI incresed his speed, I was unaware as to weather it was because of fear or temptation. Ahead a light is changing, oh no! how would I be able to beat this creature in his own territory. Luckily enough for me another car adorned my lane.

As I passed the car blockign my path, both the STI and I knew what was to become of the next few moments. My heart started to pound in my chest, would I loose and upset my pride and joy or would we walk away victorious? Only time would tell. Patiently I stalked the game for a block and a half, finally I approach the victim. Slowly, I pull up along side this beatiful creature. His raised exhaust note let me know that he was already awaiting my approach. As I look over a smile crosses my face three gangstas'( ) stare back at me. I did not know weahter to continue or not, I did not feel like hearing the wrath of their stunna talk if I lost. Caustiously I drop a gear, 3500rpm in second gear my sweet spot. The STI kept edging me up, I knew then that my fait awaited me. With machine like precision I slammed the throttle open. The note of my exhaust went from sublte to that of a small animal being beaten by a small child. This was going to be a close race after all. 35,55, 75, 85.... what was this!? Indeed I was ahead by at least a half car. The joy was overwhelming, my first race in the new car and a good one none the less. I could tell Marisa was happy as well because at the next light her idle was smoother than it had ever been before. Victory was mine and it was sweet, The STI was obviously still in a blunder as to what happened, and so would not get next to me again for a rematch. The STI was good for starters but my cars appetite was just starting to form what else would be in store for us tonight...... Part 2 comming soon!!



CLIFFS: raced an STI from 35 to about 100ish ended with me about 1/2-3/4 a car ahead of him. My mods are in my profile. His mods when asked said he had intake.

 

[98eclipseRS]

i was in no way trying to imply that my story was either perfect or that my grammer was the end all of the written language. However, I do beleive that my story was alot easier to read than his, and that it was more entertaining. I did not mean to put him down by my reply, I was trying to give him some constructive criticism so that next time he would approach this in a different way instead of one long sentence seprated by multiple periods. If I came across as trying to preach that I am the best ever I am sorry I did not mean to do that, I was just trying to offer some insight as to how you could possible make a kill story more pleasent to read.

 

[santarulz]

... fragmented sentances and incorrect conjugations. (For your referance I am a writing tutor at the University of California, Santa Cruz.)

HAHAHAHA The irony kills me :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Good job

 

[jérôme]

ooooooooooouweeee!

 

[Ryans99OZ]

who........f.....reakin......cares

 

[BigRb247]

I agree with ^

 

[UCSLugRacerX]

who........f.....reakin......cares

Apparently you do since you made the effort to read the thread and post a reply.