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Have a good laugh on me

GetEvryGear

Proven Member
560
0
Jan 17, 2004
Severn, Maryland
Some funny jokes stolen from another forum. Enjoy :thumb:


1.Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded

2. Q: What's blue and ####s old people?
A: Hypothermia

3. Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her

4. Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time?
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

5. Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is ####ing her.

6. Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
A: They don't ####ing listen.

7. Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea

8. Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating #### once in a while too.

9. Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.

10. Q. Why do gays like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.

11. Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.

12. Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.

13. Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.

14. Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
A. Your ass kicked.

15. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

16. Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.

17. Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.

18. Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

19. Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

20. Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

21. Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

22. Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.

23. Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

24. Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.

25. Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.

26. Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the
same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.

27. Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

28. Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

29. Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is
bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...

30. Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a dick, it's not time.

31. Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.

32. Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it
 

gs-t_96

Proven Member
215
0
Jan 3, 2003
Texas
Originally posted by GetEvryGear


12. Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.


:laugh:
 

a_scobel

Proven Member
5,408
23
Jun 6, 2003
Alexandria, Virginia
That's so offensive!!!..the nerve of you to post crap like that.............




5. Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is ####ing her.

I love it!!
 

chrisdob30

Proven Member
61
0
Sep 9, 2003
Hancock, Maryland
Originally posted by DevilSperm
whats 18" long, stiff and makes women scream?




crib death




Terrible joke ^^^ but you posted the retard one:D

I forsee you going to hell.........but i laughed too

Chris
 

fasteclipse1992

Proven Member
786
0
Jan 17, 2003
joplin, Missouri
what do you say to a women with 2 black eyes?
nothing! you already told her twice! da dat ta!


why did the woman cross the road?
who cares! what the hell is she doing out of the kitchen! da dat ta!


why do women fake orgasims?
who cares! da dat ta!


whats the difference between a blowjob and a woman?
you can beat a woman, but you cant beat a blowjob! da dat ta!


i better stop, im sure the mods are coming soon. im suprised they didnt already.
 

Ghost1984

Proven Member
1,235
3
Dec 29, 2003
Southwest, Missouri
^^^^^^^^^^^LOL:laugh:
How do you know when its bed time at Michael Jackson's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
 

yugotdonkey

Proven Member
254
0
Dec 8, 2002
Coatesville, Pennsylvania
Originally posted by GetEvryGear

30. Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a dick, it's not time.
[/B]

:thumb: :laugh:
 

pushin_gsx

Proven Member
602
0
Feb 21, 2003
muck city, New_Jersey
10. Q. Why do gays like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.


hahahahahaha.:laugh: Classic!
 

-MrGti-

Probationary Member
27
0
Mar 22, 2004
akron, Ohio
whats small, blue, cold and crawling up your leg?
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a homesick abortion
 
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