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Hard day for me...

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johnnycash

Probationary Member
18
0
Feb 13, 2009
Lakewood, Colorado
Well today I got off of work at 7am and went home to get some much needed rest, around 10am Janelle (my fiancee) comes to me crying. I was too tired to understand what she was saying, but as I got more oriented I was hit full force with the news. At 10am she got a call from the Doctor with results from our last visit to the OB she left a message for her to call her back immediately. Janelle was told that there is a 80% chance that the baby we are expecting will have DOWN SYNDROME, the news was a major blow to a already high risk pregnancy. Longer into the day I couldn't help but wonder why or how this could happen to us, as I thought more about I got more sad. Tomorrow we go in for more tests but the outcome will most likely be same, sitting here typing this brings tears to my eyes (not that I haven't cried already) I love my family and still anticipate this new joy to the world. Anyways guys I had to get this off my chest, I want to thank you ahead of time for the comments and prayers to come. As of now I am taking it slow on a day by day basis tackling whatever the future holds for me one step at a time.

Paul...:(
 
Having a special needs child can be challenging, BUT it can also be a truly eye opening experience. You will find that you'll love your child no matter if it has all its fingers or toes. The best advice I can give is this be prepared and no matter what LOVE that child. If the doctors are right accept it and give it the love and affection it needs. I think everything happens for a reason and when you look back in a few years you will not feel sadness or heartbreak but joy for being given a blessing in disguise. The man upstairs sometimes presents us with situations that leave us asking question, BUT have faith and know that it all happens for a reason.

This is coming from a father of a 3 year old little boy, Im going to college for Early Childhood Development and have had the privelage of working with special needs children. My friend is a stay at home mom she has 3 boys one of which has a chromosone disorder and shows similar characteristics of down syndrom and the other is autistic. She has her hands full but she said for once in her life she feels like she has a purpose.

Good luck and keep your head up!
Kolby
 
Kolby hit it right on the head. It won't matter if your child has a learning disability or not... he will bring happiness into your world. You just need to learn to be patient and understanding to your child's needs. Read up on everything you can concerning Down's Syndrome so that you are well prepared for the journey ahead of you. You may even want to join a support group so you can get up to date information on new treatments and experiences from other parents that have went through the same thing you are going to go through. My brother is autistic and it has been very educational experience. Every person has something to offer the world, no matter what disability they may be born with.
 
I wish I could say I feel sorry for you, but I can not and will not. You are having a child with a person you love. Its out of your control my friend. The difference between a completely healthy child and a completely abnormal child is just a few chromosomes. The big man in the sky has a plan for every one if you believe in such things. Love and cherish your child no matter what physical or genetic problems it may have. As long as it is a healthy baby and your wife comes out of the labor fine. Thats the most important thing, special needs children require a lot more work and medical needs but it is still your flesh and blood. No amount of disabilities can take that away from you. Cherish the fact you are even able to carry on your lineage. I personally am not able to have children. Imagine that, I would trade you any day of the week. The only thing I ever wanted in life was to be a daddy. My life is half over and I know I cant produce a child naturally. Thats a crappy feeling. My parents will both die not having a grand child. Your baby will make you realize how fragile life is and how important it is to keep an open mind. Your child might grow up and do wonderful things and change the world for all you know. Just be a good daddy and you will be fine my friend. There is no reason to be afraid or upset the world works in mysterious ways. Focus on your wife be together and over come this slight hurdle. Your love for each other and your child will over shadow anything else. Be strong for her and for your baby.
 
I wish I could say I feel sorry for you, but I can not and will not. You are having a child with a person you love. Its out of your control my friend. The difference between a completely healthy child and a completely abnormal child is just a few chromosomes. The big man in the sky has a plan for every one if you believe in such things. Love and cherish your child no matter what physical or genetic problems it may have. As long as it is a healthy baby and your wife comes out of the labor fine. Thats the most important thing, special needs children require a lot more work and medical needs but it is still your flesh and blood. No amount of disabilities can take that away from you. Cherish the fact you are even able to carry on your lineage. I personally am not able to have children. Imagine that, I would trade you any day of the week. The only thing I ever wanted in life was to be a daddy. My life is half over and I know I cant produce a child naturally. Thats a crappy feeling. My parents will both die not having a grand child. Your baby will make you realize how fragile life is and how important it is to keep an open mind. Your child might grow up and do wonderful things and change the world for all you know. Just be a good daddy and you will be fine my friend. There is no reason to be afraid or upset the world works in mysterious ways. Focus on your wife be together and over come this slight hurdle. Your love for each other and your child will over shadow anything else. Be strong for her and for your baby.

Well I definitely disagree with your first statement. I do feel pain for them, it is not easy to raise any child but with special needs there is more to learn. Some things you must know you have to study because it doesn't come naturally. I'm 30 and my wife is 26(church secretary) and in very great shape. We lost our first baby 8 years ago and can't have kids now. It took us almost a year to get approved for adoption and when we submitted our home study for a sibling group we got some horrible news. She has cancer..... So we'll fight the battle and keep pushing foward afterwords.

Just keep pushing man, we can't and will never understand why things happen. All we can do it pray and keep going. Nothing worth anything is easy anyway right?

We'll pray for ya.

-charlie
 
I will keep you and your family in my prayers as you continue on through the pregnancy. I have never raised a child, but have helped a friend of mine after the father had left. I know its a difficult process no matter what the outcome is of a child. May god bless you and your new family to be.
 
you will be in our prayers Paul

but look, you will have twice as much fun with your new child. it will be 10x more adventurous, and exciting. hope you watched the video, that kid is awesome!
 
Good luck to you as parenthood is tough no matter what. Everything happens for a reason, always has and always will.
I was scared as hell when I found out my wife was pregnant, selfishly thinking what on earth I was going to do in order to be a good father, somehow I made it but still there is always a new challenge like any relationship. My daughter is 5 now and I want so much to have at least 2 more kids but for some reason we can't. I've had all my tests done and I'm ok, but my wife on the other hand is not and the docs don't know why.
I'm confident you will be fine and it is impossible to not love your kids.
 
Thank you so much for your support! Today I have some good news, we went and saw the doctor after examining the report himself he told us the risk really isn't that bad. Over the phone yeasterday the person either misread or Janelle mis-understood, she actually has a 1 in 45 chance that are kid might have DS. Take that to percentage form and its like 2% instead of the 80% we were told, we opted out to take the amniocentesis due to the risks. At this point either outcome we are still gonna have the baby, so why and try to complicate things more. Today was a good day, butwe are still not out of the woods yet. We will find out more on the 20 week check up, at that time they will have more details to look at. Oh and I found out its almost 100% gonna be a girl (oh god!), again guys thank you so much for the prayers and comments.


Paul

BTW:
Thats a amazing video, regardless how my kid comes out it will be another joy to add to my family.
 
Congrats on the good news. Next thing you know you will be holding your healthy little girl. Just keep your head up and think positive.
 
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