Got any funny stories?

[ILLiCliPSE]

Anyone have any funny stories that we all may want to hear and get a good laugh out of? Doesnt have to be car related it can be anything...you can even rag on yourself

Ill start it off I guess...

Me and my bro were in his car in line to get into the drag strip one night. He rev'ed his motor for whatever reason, maybe to hear his new Greddy Type-S blow-off valve. As soon as he does it, I see a flock of flamingo's instantly turn around and look at our car . So Im like Mike....do that again. He rev's it again, and the birds start walking towards our car...they must thing we're one of them because of this blow-off valve...after a few times of taunting them they finally get up to about 2-3ft from the car and we finally pull away. I thought it was hilarious to see that they were responding to the sound of a type-s hah .

Hah....oh ya and another....seeing your friend rear end someone, start to drive away, only to watch their hood fly up into their windshield. Sucks but

Lets hear your stories...

 

[1g_tsi_awd]

Well, going to cross country practice, my friend thought it'd be funny for me to go in the trunk of his accord and pop out and scare people. It was fun for about 10 minutes... Then he discovered what an e-brake was, and I got a concussion, not that funny... But entertaining nonetheless...

 

[myeagleneedmods]

I got pulled over for speeding. When the cop asked why I was speeding and I replied "No Reason", the cop then replied to that, "Is it because you have a fast car?"

 

[Defiant]

I logged on to a car site to learn some trivia about a certain model, and the bastards made me a Moderator.

Guess who that joke's on, suckers.

 

[cs82685]

My brother fell asleep at the wheel and rear ended my father. I thought it was funny, especially since it didn't really do any damage to my father's truck, but totally screwed up the front end of my brother's car

 

[ecarrillo]

I bought an N/T Talon

 

[drivemusicnow]

Well, going to cross country practice, my friend thought it'd be funny for me to go in the trunk of his accord and pop out and scare people. It was fun for about 10 minutes... Then he discovered what an e-brake was, and I got a concussion, not that funny... But entertaining nonetheless...

Some kid did that going to lunch from my old highschool. Only he pretended he was being kidnapped. People called the cops thinking it was for real.

He got arrested, thrown in jail, and has like 6 bullshit charges against him.

 

[1badTalon]

Some kid did that going to lunch from my old highschool. Only he pretended he was being kidnapped. People called the cops thinking it was for real.

He got arrested, thrown in jail, and has like 6 bullshit charges against him.

one time, me and my friends were at Kelly's (restaurant) and I pretended I was a foreigner, fresh off the boat from Greece. It was real funny, a cheeseburger with lettuce became a chi-boo-ga "mai marouli" (means 'with lettuce' in greek) and a huge list of other things. I left my name as "malaka" which is like a super-bad swear, and some cooks understood it and started laughing.

Later, when she called our order, she kind of screamed it, and there were other greek people in the restaurant and apparently thought it was funny, and a guy at the register started yelling at the girl for saying "malaka." After she yelled it, i turned around and said "weech wun of us?"

You gotta be Greek to fully appreciate it.

 

[Flash]

One night I was driving with a friend. The night was perfect, warm, and no one was on the road, windows were down, breeze in your face. So I figured I would take this turn rather fast. The turn was a decending 90* right turn. So I set myself up for the turn and take it. It was not fast where the tires are screaming for traction, but it wasn't a sunday drive. The license plate on my dash slides from the passenger side all the way across my dash and out the drivers side window. My natural reaction I suppose kicked in and I reach for the plate as it was out the window in flight and I some how grabbed it. I just had to correct the car a little after the turn.
Moral of story, loose plates on dashes are not safe. I now just do not use a front plate.

 

[laserspeeddemon]

I got two for ya.

First one of many pee. When I was in Germany, someone I knew, AKA Red, picked up a Mercedes-Benz C230 Kompressor (the HB one). He wanted to go the club, but needed a driver. I told him I had plans but I could drop him off and pick him up. All was cool right I dropped him and our friend Jon off at the train station. Well he calls me at about 4 in the morning and says he wants to get picked up. I show up and Jon and Red now have two lady friends. I was like "W-T-F dude, this is a 4 seater." There was NO ROOM in the back for a third person. Well, Red, said, "You could just ride in the trunk." I was all like, "F*CK YOU, DUDE, you ride in the trunk!" He blabbed about it's his car, and he could just leave me there at the train station. Now I wanted to make this clear. Red was sober, he did not smell like alochol, not even a little, if he did I would've left his ass there in the cold. So reluctantly, I agree. And we're off with me in the trunk. Well, Red thought it would be funny to drive like an ass (trying to show off to his lady friend). Well I told Red, "STOP IT DUDE, I gotta piss." Some how the translated to "Red go faster, WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Well as I'm in the hatch tumbling around a water bottle rolls and hits me. It was almost empty, so I dumped the rest out. I told Red that I was gonna piss in this bottle I had just found. Red didn't believe me. So pulled on wee' jonny and attempted to pee in the bottle. Unfortanetly, Red was still driving around like a moron. So most of it didn't go in the bottle. I capped the bottle and soon we came to a stop and Red popped the hatch. I sat up, got out, and handed the luke-warm, 1/2 empty bottle to him. With a puzzled look he glares at it (it was dark) and then he drops it with a EWWW!!! As I walked away, I turned and said "The other half is all over your trunk."

And the second. While I was living on Fort Belvoir, some kids thought it would be great to break into my nissan and steal the two wireless PS2 controllers that I had. The nissan was a POS so I wasn't mad about them breaking into it, but I wanted my PS2 controllers back. Even though the controllers were in the car. The recievers (the part that it transmits to and plugs into the PS2) for them were on a shelf of my entertainment center. I was kinda aggrivated about the whole situation and I couldn't sleep, I just kept running ideas through my head to solve this crime. One idea popped into my head, but I was skeptical that it would work. I wrote a sign in the window saying; "To those that have the controllers. I have the receivers for these controllers, I don't use them anymore, so if you want them you can have them. Come to 8720 Kimbro Lane." Now, my car was parked next to the pick point for the school kids, so I know they would see the sign if I wrote it big enough (white paper, big letters, red marker). Even so, I figured no one could be that dumb, but I did it for sh*ts and giggles. Two days later, sure enough two young kids (about 11-12 yrs old) come by and knock on my door, actually asking for the receivers. So I gave the receivers. Then I told them the controllers are new and that I need to transfer the warranty into thier name. After exlpaining what a warranty was, I gave one of them the warranty card and he ACTUALLY filled out his name and address. They left with the receivers and I called the MPs. I told them that someone broke into my car a few days ago and these were the only two things taken out of it. I also told them how I figured out who did it, one of the had a straight face, they other was was cracking up. The MPs went to the address written on the car, but they kids didn't live there, I guess they thought they were smart. However, they used the address across the street from where the lived and the kid used his REAL name. The neighbor pointed out that the kid lived on the other side of the street so the MPs just went across the street and picked them up. The father tried to say he bought them for his son (punk a*s parent bear punk a*s kids), but I had a receipt confirming I bought them less then 2 weeks before they were stolen. Anyway, I got my controllers and the receivers back (along with the warranty card) and the family was kicked off post. BOOYA B*CTHES!!!!!

 

[1g_tsi_awd]

I bought an N/T Talon

Hahahahahahahaha, that made my day... Ah the simple things in life.

 

[TuRBoTaLooN]

semi-funny...i just thought it was ridiculous but...

Went to see "The Number 23" at a theater by me. The movie gets out around 11pm or so on a Thursday night. I'm driving on route 46 where the speed limit is 45mph. At the time I was driving a BRIGHT yellow chevy cobalt SS S/C. It was 100% stock though, so no loud muffler, etc. Didn't even have my music on. I am driving in the right lane going about 40-42mph. I see a cop on the opposite side of the road coming toward me. As soon as he passes me, he pulls a HUGE U-turn in the middle of the road and follows me for about a mile or so. I continue to go around 40mph so he has no reason to stop me. Finally, he turns his lights on. I immediately pull over. He asks for my papers and I present them to him. All valid, no problems. He looks at them and asks if I have any points on my license. I tell him that I have a few. He asks for what, so I tell him, illegal left-hand turn and a speeding ticket. He then asks if I know why he stopped me and I said no. He asked if I had been drinking...said no. Asked where I was going/coming from...told him I'm going home from the movie theater. Runs back to his car with my papers without saying another word. Comes back with my papers and tells me that the air freshener hanging from my rearview mirror is illegal. I better take it down or I am prone to getting pulled over. No ticket, but that was it. Absolutely absurd.

 

[1g_tsi_awd]

Oh yea, here's a decent one, not that funny, but somewhat entertaining.


Last year, 2nd semester 4th quarter, best I have ever done in school. Chillin with an AP English and my whole class didn't read the book for which we had the largest test of the semester on... I spark noted the whole thing, my friend stole the test and I fileld it out. I gave the filled out test back to him, I told him to give it to 3 people at most, so he gave it to 4 whole classes... Right when i heard about this, I started thinking this could get bad. So a week passes by, 2 weeks, get the test back, I got 2 wrong... Well one girl mis-copied her cheat sheet and got a 4%... She skipped one and effed the whole test up. She and a friend decided to nark us out, so I am taking a nap in Biology, and I get a note to coem down to the office, not really out of the ordinart, it said attendance office, so I thought I was having a mishap with attendance. I get there and sitting there is my principal, my english teacher, the kid I did this test scam with, and a police officer (why the police officer, I have no idea...) I go into the office and just get destroyed by questions, it went on for 2 and 1/2 hours because I stuck to my honor and didn't give any names... I ended up getting a suspension the day before spring break, I left for Florida for one day, got 2 extra days of Spring Break, not too shabby... It goes onto my record as absence due to illness... Moral of the story, cheat when you can, just don't get caught... Hahaha, or don't cheat... I learned my lesson, net time people don't do something, help them to a point, but don't risk my ass... Ahh, highschool, gotta love it.

 

[ILLiCliPSE]

Some of you may have heard this, but Ill contribute to my own thread once again....

It was your ordinary morning of high school....I had just woke up and was running late for school. I threw on some clothes grabbed my keys and went out to my car, which was a 2gb converted 96 GS, carbon fiber hood, etc. So I run to my car since Im late......my hood is gone. Someone stole my carbon fiber hood. But wait....how....no but...... So...I run back inside and one of my good friends Steven was sleeping over our house because him and my bro were doing a college project together. I run over to him and tell him that my hood was stolen and also woke up the rest of my family. They didnt believe me so as I was walking them outside we were calling the cops.

The cops finally come, and they basically cant do anything about it *like always*

Now...lets back-track for a minute. A few weeks earlier, my grandfather got in a car accident with a couple coming back from the store. I drove over to the scene to check on him and to help him out with whatever. The people that hit my grandfather also had someone come and help them out...a 22 year old kid with a 2gb silver RS with Ebay projectors, and a horribley mounted turbo spoiler. I didnt think anything of it and everything was all situated so I headed home. Only to realise that this kid was following me. I kinda blew it off, but as I pulled into my development, I saw him again...right behind me. I pull in, and he just goes straight, and stops following me.

Back to the story. So now I start calling and texting all of my car friends to look out for someone that has a 2g oem style carbon fiber hood for sale, or on someones Eclipse. My friend Sean was out on a pizza delivery and knew of a kid that has a silver Eclipse that would actually do something like steal a hood. He goes over to his house *he knew where he lived* and sure enough my hood is on his car.

Long story short, me and my dad follow Sean and leads us to his house, we call the cops, 6 cop cars show up, I un-install my hood off of his car, throw it in the back of my dads Jeep, and charge the kid with possesion of stolen property (they couldnt charge him with theft because there was no proof that he actually took it). He is now serving I think 75 hours of community service.

He followed me to which development I lived in, drove in a few nights later to see which house my car was at, and then he stole it that night.

By the way, from me waking up and finding my hood gone to the time I got back from retrieving my hood and pressing charges, was about 4 hours. This all happend in the same day.

 

[ghostcar]

so me and a buddy were stopped at a red light and to our right the traffic begins to go. one guy turning left in front of us car dies in the middle of the intersection. so he gets out and starts to push his car with the door open and one hand on the wheel. well he is wearing the slipperiest cowboy boots ever and cant get any traction. so two other guys come out of nowhere and help push from the back as the driver steers around the turn. well he slips from those keen cowboys boots and falls flat on his face and then since the two guys were pushing the car ran over the guys legs.. talk about a bad day.

 

[Locke]

Years ago I had a 91 Escort wagon. The clutch was weak, I was without a dime, but we had to get around. Me and two of my friends, Kramer and Troy, were going somewhere. I am driving, Kramer is in the passenger seat and Troy is behind Kramer. The clutch completely burned up on some side street, and me and Kramer open our doors and push the car. Troy decides he is going to help us, after 2 or 3 minutes of us pushing. He opens his door as we are rolling, as Kramer is pushing against the A pillar in a sharp lean.

Kramer's foot/leg gets caught under Troy's door. He falls on his face, and as the vehicle has a bit of momentum now, his entire body gets caught up underneath the door as we try to slow the car.

Kramer was pissed. Me and Troy laughed when we realized he wasn't going to die. He didn't break anything, and his face, chest, knees, and back of his legs healed in a month or so. It was funny.



Kramer is clumsy/accident prone. I have dozens of stories about Him hurting himself. Here is another short one:

He had a 1976 (i think) Scottsdale pickup. Real nice engine. 4 bolt mains, double camel hump heads, Edelbrock Air Gap intake, and a little Holley 650 4bbl single pumper. Crappy body, torn seats, no power stearing, no bed.

We were working on it, fixing vacuum and fuel leaks, a decent tune-up. He is charged with cleaning the engine and changing the ignition, while I rebuilt the carburetor. He has a bottle of "Purple Power" (i think it is called) engine degreaser. He points it at the engine and squeezes the trigger a few times on the bottle. Nothing happens. So he turns the bottle around, and looks at the nozzle. It is set to "off". With it pointing directly at his face, but hand off of trigger, he turns it to "on".

Well, him pumping the trigger built up some pressure in it. As soon as he turned the nozzle, a solid stream of degreaser shot straight into his eye-ball. He screamed, I laughed. Flushed his eye with water for about 10 minutes and got back to work.



I could whore most of this thread with Kramer's accident stories. But I wont.

 

[ILLiCliPSE]

Oh yea, here's a decent one, not that funny, but somewhat entertaining.


Last year, 2nd semester 4th quarter, best I have ever done in school. Chillin with an AP English and my whole class didn't read the book for which we had the largest test of the semester on... I spark noted the whole thing, my friend stole the test and I fileld it out. I gave the filled out test back to him, I told him to give it to 3 people at most, so he gave it to 4 whole classes... Right when i heard about this, I started thinking this could get bad. So a week passes by, 2 weeks, get the test back, I got 2 wrong... Well one girl mis-copied her cheat sheet and got a 4%... She skipped one and effed the whole test up. She and a friend decided to nark us out, so I am taking a nap in Biology, and I get a note to coem down to the office, not really out of the ordinart, it said attendance office, so I thought I was having a mishap with attendance. I get there and sitting there is my principal, my english teacher, the kid I did this test scam with, and a police officer (why the police officer, I have no idea...) I go into the office and just get destroyed by questions, it went on for 2 and 1/2 hours because I stuck to my honor and didn't give any names... I ended up getting a suspension the day before spring break, I left for Florida for one day, got 2 extra days of Spring Break, not too shabby... It goes onto my record as absence due to illness... Moral of the story, cheat when you can, just don't get caught... Hahaha, or don't cheat... I learned my lesson, net time people don't do something, help them to a point, but don't risk my ass... Ahh, highschool, gotta love it.

hah ya man good story. Im gonna miss high school...I only have 12 days left of my senior year

 

[1g_tsi_awd]

12 DAYS?!?!? I have 28 school days lucky bastard...

 

[Kasprzap]

College is nice. This is my last day.

 

[zilo900]

damn you're lucky Paul.

My last day is May 7th

 

[TurboBlue]

My last day was sometime in June of 2001. Wow, I'm old, and all you kids have nicer cars then me...

I think thats funny...

 

[cs82685]

Damn you guys, my last day is May 11, and last day of classes is the 2nd, but after that it's goodbye college for me

 

[Snobordin8]

I have a funny story about a prof at school yesterday. He had a book sitting on the Elmo projector thing and was explaining something. Well, the book was sitting in a way where the page accidentally flipped on it's own. Someone pointed it out to him, and he said something along the lines of, "ahh the page went limp, kind of like how I am most of the time." The whole class of like 80 started cracking up, him being about 55 and bald and all.

Oh, and my last day is May 4th, then one more year and I'm out. Summer classes start May 9 though .

 

[1g_tsi_awd]

My last day was sometime in June of 2001. Wow, I'm old, and all you kids have nicer cars then me...

I think thats funny...

I have a 92 saturn... Been crashed twice doing stupid shit, it was free...

Well, I guess I do have my Cadillac... Hahaha.