Funny Working On Your DSM Stories

[CrackedDSM]

1) My favorite funny memory is the first time blowing an intercooler coupler. Had just finished installing the Dejon Tool Upper Intercooler pipe and 2G MAF in a 1G pipe from Dejon as well, on my very first turbo DSM. Dad hopped in and we went for a drive, hit boost, and BOOM. Shotgun went off, car bogged. I knew immediately what had happened (because I used to read religiously and would read stories about it), but my dad had no clue. His face was almost white and he was like "what just happened did you blow the engine?!". I was dying laughter the whole time.


2) More embarrassing on my part(at the time, these days IDGAF because I'm an old man now ) but the very first engine I ever replaced the bearings on, I did it upside down, and under the car...in a gravel/rock driveway as my dad stood over the top of the engine yelling at me every step I needed to take. Got it buttoned up, torqued down, took it for a drive. Seemed fine tbh, but after pulling in and going to take another lap around the apartment complex, it didn't make it 20 feet and it locked up the engine hard enough to make the wheels lock up. Turns out I put the #4 rod cap on backwards. Doh! Man, to be 16 again(and have that POS 1G back..I loved that car).

 

[1990TSIAWDTALON]

The lessons we learn.....

 

[CrackedDSM]

The lessons we learn.....

Indeed. Speaking of lessons learned...

The first time you give Narcan via IO or IV and slam the shit out of a couple doses instead of doing it nice and easy...learned that one tonight why you don't just slam it unless it's legit last resort/life and death.


It was like The Exorcist or Scary Movie's parody of the scene. There was 'vom' on the ceiling on the ambulance. LMFAO.

 

[Phantomdmod]

1) My favorite funny memory is the first time blowing an intercooler coupler. Had just finished installing the Dejon Tool Upper Intercooler pipe and 2G MAF in a 1G pipe from Dejon as well, on my very first turbo DSM. Dad hopped in and we went for a drive, hit boost, and BOOM. Shotgun went off, car bogged. I knew immediately what had happened (because I used to read religiously and would read stories about it), but my dad had no clue. His face was almost white and he was like "what just happened did you blow the engine?!". I was dying laughter the whole time.


2) More embarrassing on my part(at the time, these days IDGAF because I'm an old man now ) but the very first engine I ever replaced the bearings on, I did it upside down, and under the car...in a gravel/rock driveway as my dad stood over the top of the engine yelling at me every step I needed to take. Got it buttoned up, torqued down, took it for a drive. Seemed fine tbh, but after pulling in and going to take another lap around the apartment complex, it didn't make it 20 feet and it locked up the engine hard enough to make the wheels lock up. Turns out I put the #4 rod cap on backwards. Doh! Man, to be 16 again(and have that POS 1G back..I loved that car).

I was white too first time this happened. New build , raised boost.. and booom on the highway.
I thought that was it.. My friend said calm down, it's probably just a hose..
Car was too low to see anything, so the Audi had to pull me to my garage.

My garage neighbours looked with big eyes when my machine finally rolled out, loud , impressive.. after an hour we came back on the rope, it was so funny we laughed all..
They said again a typical dsm ride..

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[EC17PSE]

So i try real hard to not mess up and go over work a few times but this one time i was a bit annoyed and stressed out over something, so i was doing some bits in the bay and could not get the engine to fire up! But i swore it was all fine so i go over bits again and again. I get wound up even more now as everything checks out!

I then call the wife as im more stressed and she can try calm me down. I talk through it all as sometimes doing that makes you think differently ( not that she has any clue on this sort of stuff ) but it helps and support is nice! Anyway she chills me out after chatting and taking 5 to relax. After she said check everything and me moaning i have done i did it AGAIN while she was on the phone and then the HUH came!

Turns out i did not handle all clips and check they were seated! I had one that was resting on top to get it out the way and was loose upon checking by hand.

Clipped it in and it started!

So now i handle all clips as a precaution just incase they resting it in place but not connected!

Check those connectors as I do see this alot of one causing issues and not just on here either. Silly mistake but lesson learnt thats for sure haha

 

[1990TSIAWDTALON]

All of these story's bring a smile to my face (to know I am not the only one to do just about all of the same things)

 

[BLACK'98DSM]

I have a funny story for you... Once upon a time, there was a DSM that didn't leak any fluids

 

[1990TSIAWDTALON]

And it lived in luscious Florida pastures of open land for all to see..........

 

[SixBolt_16G]

I was doing my own brakes for the first time. My drive way is pretty long and on a slight incline from the garage in the back of the house and out to the street. Finished up and was time for a test drive with my wife following in her Prelude. Put the emergency brake down gave it some gas and let off the clutch.. Half way down the drive way, I was like.. okay lets test the brakes real quick while I wait til wife is out the garage and the door closes all the way...... wait.. no brakes! Im still moving forward and gaining speed... So I did what any one would do... I hit the brakes...as if I wasnt already doing that ... Wait... thats why im in this situation.. I dont have any brakes... because i forgot to pump up the pedal.. .So now Ive gained speed and im heading towards the street. 5 mph on an incline seems really fast when you dont have brakes... So as im coming down the driveway, a cop is coming down the street because my house is across the street from the police station. I catch his face in slow motion as he gave me what the f*** are you doing look as i turned the wheel to avoid him and went across the lawn and around the tree until I got the fine idea of pulling the ebrake. My wife will never let me live it down since the cop ask her if he was going to come down the street tomorrow and see her prelude driving around the tree.

 

[randman2011]

Taken from Part 5 of my life story over on Opposite-Lock. I was trying to sell my Talon, which I had disassembled.

Then I was contacted by a guy from Chicago. He wanted to know if he could drive it back to Illinois and at that point I was so sick of dealing with it that I told him that I’d spend the weekend with him putting it back together just to get it out of my life. I repeatedly stressed that he may not make it back to Chicago due to the transmission but at least I could guarantee to him that he’d be able to drive it out of the storage facility.
He opted to not stay in Indianapolis overnight and arrived on a Sunday. He brought a friend that owned a Cherokee but otherwise couldn’t contribute to the task of reassembly. As I was now intimately familiar with this engine bay, reassembly was quick. The turbo, intercooler front bumper, and ECU all went back in without issue. Before too long, the buyer started the Talon and backed it out of that room. The Talon rolled down the steep slope and up the other side of the drainage channel and tapped the door of the locker on the other side of the road. The pedal went straight to the floor, the buyer said.

I checked the front brakes and was immediately incredibly embarrassed. I had stolen the front calipers and brackets for the Spyder, which was now long gone. And I had scrapped the Spyder’s calipers. I knew that we wouldn’t be able to find a replacement set locally but we tried anyway. The closest that we were able to get was one singular caliper bracket but no calipers. I wanted him to be able to drive the Talon home as much as he did, so after clearing my plan with him, I went to a plumbing store and picked up some pieces. I used plugs to block off the ABS module’s output to the front wheels, giving the Talon a firm pedal and functioning rear brakes. It was time for a test drive. Again.

I told the buyer to take it around the storage facility while I stayed in the locker cleaning up my tools. As soon as he left my sight I heard the engine start to rev followed by a loud pop. I grabbed my 10mm deepwell socket and walked in the direction of the sound. The buyer was incredibly flustered but before he could even explain that it had popped right as the engine hit boost, I was already under the car fixing it. I had tasked the buyer’s useless friend with one singular job that entire day, and that task was to tighten the clamps on the charge pipe. And just like I had suspected, he had failed to do that one job. I reminded the buyer that he only had rear brakes but other than concern for stopping distances he could beat the shit out of that car as much as he wanted to prove that it would make it home. And he did. I was so embarrassed by the brake issue and the fact that I had forgotten to mention the cracked windshield in the ad that I dropped the price even further. He effectively paid for a running 4G63 and got an entire AWD DSM free. But he left and made it back to Chicago.

The seller continued to text me occasionally, asking about the history of certain parts or looking for transmission fluid recommendations. He said that as soon as he had gotten the car to Chicago the transmission started working again and he never had problems with the entire vehicle ever again. Just rub salt into that wound, why don’t you. I was happy for him, but that hurt.

I failed to mention that I had laid a tarp out on the floor of the unit before driving the Talon in, and I had the used oil sitting out in open containers that got kicked over as soon as we started work, so that whole day was punctuated by the three of us continually slipping on the oil slick and knocking over additional oil containers. Like a cartoon.

I have a GSX now but I still miss that Talon sometimes...

 

[dsmtun3r98gst]

Here is a good one:

Got the auto trans rebuilt on my DSM, after a couple of days the car lost power, every time I would step on it, it would just take a nose dive and not go.... If I would drive like a grandma everything was fine but the moment I tried to punch it it would fall on its face, my original thought was that the transmission is already failing soon after the rebuild(BTW the mechanics thought the same). got the trans taken out yet again and inspected by the shop that rebuilt it(had to pay for the mechanic for labor once again) nothing..... Everything checked out fine so that put me back to square one. No mechanics could fix my issue, one mechanic was so sure it was the turbo going out so of course back then my noob ass bought a brand new Evo III 16g(Chinese knock off) after and the problem was still there .

Long story short and $2,000 spent later; my frustrated a$$ decided to give my car one last look before saying goodbye to the junkyard and I noticed that the clamp from my upper intercooler that grabbed on to the hose was not there so I said whatever let me just throw an new clamp not that it matters now.... Lo and behold after that the car pulled so hard I almost $hit my pants ........

Anyways... I spent $2,000 on what could have be a $2-5 dollar fix. On the plus side I "upgraded" the turbo AAAANNNNDDD took interest about actually learning about cars