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Chuck Norris

Posted by greathuskie, Nov 13, 2005

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  1. AW4G63

    AW4G63 Proven Member

    Joined Apr 11, 2002
    TommyPantsdownville, Ohio
  2. AW4G63

    AW4G63 Proven Member

    Joined Apr 11, 2002
    TommyPantsdownville, Ohio

    We'll aren't you just on the cutting edge of Chuck Norris facts....
  3. a_scobel

    a_scobel Proven Member

    Joined Jun 6, 2003
    Alexandria, Virginia
    Wwwwwow....it's a joke, dude..seriously. Nobody really wants Chuck Norris as president...WTF

    815  0

    1996 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX
    manual · 2G DSM
  4. boosting_laser

    boosting_laser Proven Member

    Joined Jul 21, 2004
    Whittier, California

    Only time Chuck Norris has ever been interesting was on Howard Stern. Everytime he'd get married they'd throw a bachelor's party, even if he didn't show up.

    695  0

    1991 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX
    10.788 @ 131.110 · 1G DSM
  5. TooFastTooG

    TooFastTooG Proven Member

    Joined May 12, 2004
    Plainfield, Illinois
    I think this has been said earlier, but really I believe all this got started on Conan Obrien, they always have these little skits where he pulls down a lever at his desk and it shows a little clip of him fighting like 10 guys at a time and completey whoops their ass, and they're always the most corny ones too.
  6. joshohatesuall

    joshohatesuall Proven Member

    Joined Aug 17, 2005
    Union City, California
    you know for not being able to act, he sure was in a ton of movies. apparently someone in hollywood thought he had some talent..


    and considering he fought from 1968 to 1974 undefeated as the Professional World Middleweight Karate Champion, and had a tv show that went for 8 seasons.

    I dunno.. he MUST be worthless.
  7. EclipseTrbo420A

    EclipseTrbo420A Proven Member

    Joined Jan 23, 2004
    WhiteOak/PGH, Pennsylvania
    Apparently while chuck was brushing up on being the best at everything he forgot to open a book....

    Still love the guy

    I also like the

    If an episode of Walker Texas Ranger has changed your life.........

    .....You might be a red neck LOL good stuff.
  8. Turbo Monk3y

    Turbo Monk3y Proven Member

    Joined Oct 14, 2002
    Orlando, Florida
    One of my very first action figure toys besides GI Joe's was a Chuck Norris figure in the 80s.. I started watching his movies since I was old enough to like Karate... I was always a Fan and will continue to be one... The haters need not post in this thread...

    Jesus was sent to die for the sins of man when it became apparent that his older brother, Chuck Norris, was incapable of dying.

    1K  0

    1995 Eagle Talon TSi AWD
    10.330 @ 141.910 · 2G DSM
  9. TJGoSurf

    TJGoSurf Proven Member

    Joined Oct 9, 2004
    Winston Salem, North Carolina

    People always forget things, unless you've done them in the last five minutes. No one remembers all his things he does for kids, terminally ill kids, inner city youth, and god knows what else.
  10. AW4G63

    AW4G63 Proven Member

    Joined Apr 11, 2002
    TommyPantsdownville, Ohio
    One time Chuck Norris ate a baby turtle.

    When he crapped it out it was full grown and knew karate. Thus the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
  11. joshohatesuall

    joshohatesuall Proven Member

    Joined Aug 17, 2005
    Union City, California

  12. grntalontsi

    grntalontsi Proven Member

    Joined Nov 28, 2003
    franklin park, New Jersey

    Haha. One of the funniest ones yet. ROFL
  13. audiousECLIPSE

    audiousECLIPSE Proven Member

    Joined Feb 10, 2004
    Mankato-Area, Minnesota
    Bruce Lee was actually his teacher.
  14. 19Eclipse90

    19Eclipse90 DSM Wiseman

    Joined Sep 29, 2003
    OKC, Oklahoma
    Word on the street is that Chuck Norris really died 10 years ago.

    It's a shame the Grim Reaper doesn't have the balls to tell him....
  15. T is for TURBO

    T is for TURBO Proven Member

    Joined Jan 15, 2005
    Milwaukee, Wisconsin
    Bruce Lee > Chuck Norris
    The guy from Ong Baak (or however it is spelled)>Chuck Norris

    Street Build 1K  0

    1996 Eagle Talon TSi
    manual · 2G DSM
  16. Terrh

    Terrh Proven Member

    Joined Jan 26, 2005
    Chuck Norris invented the penguin.
  17. eclipse_20g

    eclipse_20g Proven Member

    Joined Oct 24, 2003
    Mercersburg, Pennsylvania
    Chuck Norris always gets a second helping of peanuts on an airplane. Always.

    Objects in Chuck Norris's rear-view mirror appear at their correct distances.

    For Chuck Norris, pimping is easy.

    90% of the movie "Congo" was filmed in Chuck Norris' crotch.

    Chuck Norris never loses a game of Clue despite the fact everyone knows he's the murderer and used his foot to do it.

  18. compression

    compression Proven Member

    Joined Dec 9, 2004
    vero beach, Florida
    Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide

    When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

    The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

    Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

    Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

    Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

    The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

    Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

    There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

    Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

    What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

    Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

    A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

    If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

    Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

    Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

    671  0

    1990 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX
    12.380 @ 110.000 · 1G DSM
  19. Deadly BlaZe

    Deadly BlaZe Proven Member

    Joined Oct 2, 2004
    Alpharetta, Georgia
    Those always get to me
  20. president95

    president95 Proven Member

    Joined Apr 26, 2005
    Eugene, Oregon
    Chuck Norris wears condums inside out so HE gets the pleasure

    661  0

    1997 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX
    manual · 2G DSM
  21. Blk95gs

    Blk95gs Proven Member

    Joined Apr 18, 2002
    Havre De Grace, Maryland

    Hungary's Economy Ministry probably didn't know what it was getting into when it launched an Internet voting campaign to allow Web users to choose a famous person as the namesake for a new bridge to be built over the Danube in Budapest.
    Reuters is reporting that the current front-runner is former "Walker: Texas Ranger" star Chuck Norris, with 11 percent of the vote. He could be overcome by the second-place contender, Hungarian humorist Geza Hofi, but after news of the bridge-naming poll was posted on Fark.com, Mr. Norris may receive quite a few more votes.
    It appears that anyone can vote to name the bridge (voting ends September 8th), but it helps to be able to read Hungarian.
    In this reporter's opinion, having a "Chuck Norris Bridge" in Budapest could do wonders for tourism.


    For those of you that want to ensure the victory...
    1) Go to http://www.m0hid.gov.hu/vote?sortby=abc
    2) Scroll down and click the button next to "Chuck Norris - hid"
    3) Scroll all the way to the bottom and click the button labeled "Elkuld"
  22. Whiplash

    Whiplash Proven Member

    Joined Nov 29, 2004
    Detroit, Michigan
    Haha, I just voted for him.

    438  0

    1995 Eagle Talon TSi AWD
    manual · 2G DSM
  23. joshohatesuall

    joshohatesuall Proven Member

    Joined Aug 17, 2005
    Union City, California
    i saw this on the colbert report haha and colbert thinks it should benamed after him :O
  24. eclipsegsx1736

    eclipsegsx1736 Supporting VIP

    Joined Nov 11, 2003
    Los Angeles, California
    Marilyn Manson and Pierce Brosnan are also on there ROFL

    Yes, the Report (Repore :p ) definitlely does own.

    Road Race Build 6K  0

    1999 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX
    manual · 2G DSM
  25. UMR98GSX

    UMR98GSX Proven Member

    Joined Oct 26, 2004
    Newport Beach, California
    we need more votes... he's down to 9% :cry:

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