Chuck Norris

[AW4G63]

Here's Chucks top ten on The Best Damn Sports Show.

He's lovin this shit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAc1G3u-hxs&eurl=

 

[AW4G63]

wow if this isn't the most information that is a repost from every other website, it's just garbage to me, thats my opinion, it doesn't matter if I have a sense of humor or not I speak my peace, yeah I laugh at some of the new ones that people post, like that superman one havn't heard of that yet.

We'll aren't you just on the cutting edge of Chuck Norris facts....

 

[a_scobel]

I'd rather be neutered then vote for chuck for president.

Wwwwwow....it's a joke, dude..seriously. Nobody really wants Chuck Norris as president...

 

[boosting_laser]

Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag people, he potato sacks them.

Only time Chuck Norris has ever been interesting was on Howard Stern. Everytime he'd get married they'd throw a bachelor's party, even if he didn't show up.

 

[TooFastTooG]

I think this has been said earlier, but really I believe all this got started on Conan Obrien, they always have these little skits where he pulls down a lever at his desk and it shows a little clip of him fighting like 10 guys at a time and completey whoops their ass, and they're always the most corny ones too.

 

[joshohatesuall]

you know for not being able to act, he sure was in a ton of movies. apparently someone in hollywood thought he had some talent..

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/contributor/1800040682/filmography

and considering he fought from 1968 to 1974 undefeated as the Professional World Middleweight Karate Champion, and had a tv show that went for 8 seasons.

I dunno.. he MUST be worthless.

 

[EclipseTrbo420A]

Apparently while chuck was brushing up on being the best at everything he forgot to open a book....

Still love the guy

I also like the

If an episode of Walker Texas Ranger has changed your life.........


.....You might be a red neck good stuff.

 

[Turbo Monk3y]

One of my very first action figure toys besides GI Joe's was a Chuck Norris figure in the 80s.. I started watching his movies since I was old enough to like Karate... I was always a Fan and will continue to be one... The haters need not post in this thread...



Jesus was sent to die for the sins of man when it became apparent that his older brother, Chuck Norris, was incapable of dying.

 

[TJGoSurf]

you know for not being able to act, he sure was in a ton of movies. apparently someone in hollywood thought he had some talent..

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/contributor/1800040682/filmography

and considering he fought from 1968 to 1974 undefeated as the Professional World Middleweight Karate Champion, and had a tv show that went for 8 seasons.

I dunno.. he MUST be worthless.

People always forget things, unless you've done them in the last five minutes. No one remembers all his things he does for kids, terminally ill kids, inner city youth, and god knows what else.

 

[AW4G63]

One time Chuck Norris ate a baby turtle.


When he crapped it out it was full grown and knew karate. Thus the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

 

[joshohatesuall]

One time Chuck Norris ate a baby turtle.


When he crapped it out it was full grown and knew karate. Thus the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[grntalontsi]

One time Chuck Norris ate a baby turtle.


When he crapped it out it was full grown and knew karate. Thus the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Haha. One of the funniest ones yet.

 

[audiousECLIPSE]

honestly what is the deal with chuck norris and I hope this what ever you want to call it with him ends very soon, he's not even a good actor, didn't he get beat by bruce lee so what does that make bruce lee.

Bruce Lee was actually his teacher.

 

[19Eclipse90]

Word on the street is that Chuck Norris really died 10 years ago.




It's a shame the Grim Reaper doesn't have the balls to tell him....

 

[T is for TURBO]

Bruce Lee > Chuck Norris
The guy from Ong Baak (or however it is spelled)>Chuck Norris

 

[Terrh]

Chuck Norris invented the penguin.

 

[eclipse_20g]

Chuck Norris always gets a second helping of peanuts on an airplane. Always.

Objects in Chuck Norris's rear-view mirror appear at their correct distances.

For Chuck Norris, pimping is easy.

90% of the movie "Congo" was filmed in Chuck Norris' crotch.

Chuck Norris never loses a game of Clue despite the fact everyone knows he's the murderer and used his foot to do it.

 

[compression]

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."


Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

 

[Deadly BlaZe]

^^
Those always get to me

 

[president95]

Chuck Norris wears condums inside out so HE gets the pleasure

 

[Blk95gs]

HAHAHA READ THIS THEN GO DO IT.

Hungary's Economy Ministry probably didn't know what it was getting into when it launched an Internet voting campaign to allow Web users to choose a famous person as the namesake for a new bridge to be built over the Danube in Budapest.
Reuters is reporting that the current front-runner is former "Walker: Texas Ranger" star Chuck Norris, with 11 percent of the vote. He could be overcome by the second-place contender, Hungarian humorist Geza Hofi, but after news of the bridge-naming poll was posted on Fark.com, Mr. Norris may receive quite a few more votes.
It appears that anyone can vote to name the bridge (voting ends September 8th), but it helps to be able to read Hungarian.
In this reporter's opinion, having a "Chuck Norris Bridge" in Budapest could do wonders for tourism.


http://www.m0hid.gov.hu/vote?sortby=abc

For those of you that want to ensure the victory...
1) Go to http://www.m0hid.gov.hu/vote?sortby=abc
2) Scroll down and click the button next to "Chuck Norris - hid"
3) Scroll all the way to the bottom and click the button labeled "Elkuld"

 

[Whiplash]

Haha, I just voted for him.

 

[joshohatesuall]

i saw this on the colbert report haha and colbert thinks it should benamed after him :O

 

[eclipsegsx1736]

Marilyn Manson and Pierce Brosnan are also on there

Yes, the Report (Repore ) definitlely does own.

 

[UMR98GSX]

we need more votes... he's down to 9%