Chuck Norris

[PSI NRG]

Some of my favorites...

Chuck Norris' penis has a penis

Chuck Norris doesn't use toliet paper to wipe his ass he uses the woman he slept with that night.

Chuck Norris can eat a rubix cube and shit it out solved

 

[gsxitement]

chuck norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.

 

[JDNSBR]

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

 

[leet]

Maybe if I knew why/how/where they originated, I would find them funny. They are just out of the blue quotes to me that have no meaning to them.

All you need to know about Chuck '####ing' Norris is that he is the best goddamned thing on the planet. Everything fears him. You should too.

 

[RichCaccese]

chuck norris can touch MC Hammer.

 

[greathuskie]

http://www.dsmtuners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=205460&highlight=chuck+norris

 

[xxrealmsxx]

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php

http://www.4q.cc/vin/

http://www.4q.cc/t/

I find the MR T. ones more entertaining.

but thats because i'm black

I can relate to "Mr. T is not black the sun is just afraid to shine on him."

 

[DSMjrv]

Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.

 

[evanspears1]

my favorite one is

"chuckc norris doesnt believe in god, god believes in chuck norris"

whe i heard that one the first time, i about died, i laughed so hard...

 

[vertGST]

Funniest things i heard ina while.

 

[Deadly BlaZe]

my favorites:

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

hahaha

 

[aaronm_2003]

I like how it's all happy and funny and then BAM, "Chuck told me I have AIDS" just comes in out of nowhere! And then Conan's reaction is priceless..

 

[eclipsegsx1736]

I saw this and burst out laughing! Had to share it!! I love reading all the ones people make up, and it's awesome to see one printed in TIME magazine! (Or maybe it was NewsWeek? )

 

[uni_gst]

What happens when a whole nation rises against Chuck Norris ?




-Ask atlantis.

 

[96whgsx]

Yeah, he addressed that on the "Tony Danza Show" but Time? That is new.

I get pretty bored sometimes.

 

[kottyking]

He was also on the best damn sports show. Check it out.http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/19060/The_Chuck_Norris_Facts.html

 

[beating4g63s]

honestly what is the deal with chuck norris and I hope this what ever you want to call it with him ends very soon, he's not even a good actor, didn't he get beat by bruce lee so what does that make bruce lee.

 

[MCDGexx]

Chuck Norris would kick yours and my ass at the same time, just because somebody beat him doesn't mean he isn't one of the best fighters in the world.

 

[DC5-S K20A2]

There are three places you can visit after death: Heaven, Hell and Chuck Norris.

 

[SaxGopher]

Didn't he get beat by bruce lee so what does that make bruce lee.

The best martial-artist ever.

 

[DC5-S K20A2]

God didn't create Adam and Eve, he created Chuck Norris.

 

[DC5-S K20A2]

As x approaches a, for f(x), The limit is Chuck Norris.

 

[unlmtdndeavor]

Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag people, he potato sacks them.

 

[nice97civic]

bruce lee was chuck norris' teacher

 

[SkyLineGtR-R34]

Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag people, he potato sacks them.

No he wasn't

He's a good fighter thou, can't say he's the best but he's one of the best. Don't forget fighters like Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Tony Jaa and others...