Drubble
Supporting Member
- 109
- 7
- Aug 23, 2006
-
Centennial,
Colorado
I thought it was time for a new variation of an old poem. I experienced a rare moment of poetic lucidity and this is what came out. Hope everyone enjoys it, and have a Happy and Safe Holiday Season. 
A DSM Christmas
(or Honey I Shrunk The Budget)
Twas the week before Christmas
And next to the house
The garage was nearly empty
Save for the Eclipse and a mouse
Many receipts were tacked up
To the walls with great care
In hopes that performance parts
Would all soon be there
And mama in her kerchief
Was pretty pissed and hot
After finding the evidence
Of all the upgrades I bought
I knew by that look
It would be a serious talk
That scared me worse
Than the prospect of crank walk
Its not my fault I cried
Before her as I kneeled
Its the supporting vendors fault
Just look at these great deals
Away to the computer
I flew, feeling quite bad
Launching dsmtuners dot com
To show her the Ads
With sway bars and turbos
And valves that went Swoosh
I pleaded my case
But she still kicked my tush
Just look at this front mount
And this carbon fiber hood
With a 3 inch exhaust
The car will run really good!
But I saw her eyes narrow
And by the frown on her face
She really didnt care
If I won that quarter mile race
And little Johnnys braces?
Who stood near the wreath
How will we now pay
To fix his buck teeth?
Ill sell the stock parts
I said, feeling quite bold
Theres the T-25 turbo
And the 2G manifold
The stock side-mount still works
450 injectors and fuel pump
But as she glared at me again
In my throat formed a lump
Then in a twinkling
A timely bit of luck
Came the roar of the engine
Of a big UPS truck
As I ducked a thrown dish
And was turning around
Into the front room
The driver came with a bound
His cheeks were all rosy
Which got me to thinking
He didnt ring the doorbell
He must have been drinking
He spoke not a word
As he brought in box after box
A smile crossed my face
This sure beats new socks!
After laying a finger
Inside of his nose
And belching quite loud
Out the front door he goes
But he came right back in
Said he forgot one last thing
Handed me an overnight envelope
Which caused me to sing
Its my bonus check!
I shouted with glee
I hoped it was coming
Just in time to save me
So Johnny will get his braces
And youll get your new hutch
Oh, I forgot to mention
Im still expecting a clutch
And one last thing, honey
As I sat down beside her
From eBay I bought you
A turbo-charged Spyder!
A DSM Christmas
(or Honey I Shrunk The Budget)
Twas the week before Christmas
And next to the house
The garage was nearly empty
Save for the Eclipse and a mouse
Many receipts were tacked up
To the walls with great care
In hopes that performance parts
Would all soon be there
And mama in her kerchief
Was pretty pissed and hot
After finding the evidence
Of all the upgrades I bought
I knew by that look
It would be a serious talk
That scared me worse
Than the prospect of crank walk
Its not my fault I cried
Before her as I kneeled
Its the supporting vendors fault
Just look at these great deals
Away to the computer
I flew, feeling quite bad
Launching dsmtuners dot com
To show her the Ads
With sway bars and turbos
And valves that went Swoosh
I pleaded my case
But she still kicked my tush
Just look at this front mount
And this carbon fiber hood
With a 3 inch exhaust
The car will run really good!
But I saw her eyes narrow
And by the frown on her face
She really didnt care
If I won that quarter mile race
And little Johnnys braces?
Who stood near the wreath
How will we now pay
To fix his buck teeth?
Ill sell the stock parts
I said, feeling quite bold
Theres the T-25 turbo
And the 2G manifold
The stock side-mount still works
450 injectors and fuel pump
But as she glared at me again
In my throat formed a lump
Then in a twinkling
A timely bit of luck
Came the roar of the engine
Of a big UPS truck
As I ducked a thrown dish
And was turning around
Into the front room
The driver came with a bound
His cheeks were all rosy
Which got me to thinking
He didnt ring the doorbell
He must have been drinking
He spoke not a word
As he brought in box after box
A smile crossed my face
This sure beats new socks!
After laying a finger
Inside of his nose
And belching quite loud
Out the front door he goes
But he came right back in
Said he forgot one last thing
Handed me an overnight envelope
Which caused me to sing
Its my bonus check!
I shouted with glee
I hoped it was coming
Just in time to save me
So Johnny will get his braces
And youll get your new hutch
Oh, I forgot to mention
Im still expecting a clutch
And one last thing, honey
As I sat down beside her
From eBay I bought you
A turbo-charged Spyder!
yup in the hang out.
