Things you'll never hear a southern boy say:30. Oh I just couldn't - she's only sixteen. 29. I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex. 28. Duct tape won't fix that. 27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. 26. We don't keep firearms in this house. 25. You can't feed that to the dog...

My wife and I were sitting in the Movie theater last night watching 'The Pacifier'.This dude in front of us stands up and turns around and takes my wife's popcorn out of her hands and throws it across the other folks in the audience. He said that the noise of her eating her popcorn was...