Okay so first off, my prep was excellent IMO. I wont bore you with all the step by step details.

Here's my main question. Repainting some replacement body pieces since I hit a deer with the original paint my car was repainted with back in 2007.. It seemed real thin so I thought it had already been reduced, but it's taking forever to cure! Been 5 days since I sprayed it, and it's been in a 140*F room for 16 hours of those 5 days. That helped considerably but it's still soft enough I can scratch it with my finger nail.

I started to try to sand it lightly with some 600 and stopped immediately (this was on the 3rd day) when I noticed it started to roll some paint. So now i'm pissed since I spent a lot of time in prep taking it to metal, sanding and cleaning the day lights out of it, primed, sand, clean, prime, sand, clean..then spray the paint... Didn't have a paint gun so I went and got a HVLP sprayer.. thought I had it setup, realized only after I had finished the small part (headlight cover) that the reason it was spraying poorly was I had the adjustment for the paint flow way to high... I ended up just with the last coat being prertty heavy but no runs, it seemed to self level fairly well, not much orange peel. But damn it, I think between it maybe not having been reduced and a thick last coat heaven only knows when it will cure...

Another question, can you reduce single stage paint with denatured alcohol? I can't find a local store with automotive paint reducer.

It sounds like you need to stir/shake up the paint you have. I have done what you described before. After the paint (imron) didn't set up a couple of hours later I reopened and stirred the paint, I found a thick layer at the bottom. I mixed the paint very well and the problem was solved.

Turns out it was a urethane paint, which requires an activator.

That'll do it.