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Dumbest things you've heard a DSMer say? :)

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Not a DSM'er but I had a customer come by the shop I work at. He was asking me about my 1g that I had the hood up on because I was fixing the fan. He went on to ask how fast it went and if I had any "juice" on it. I proceeded to say no its all motor and he was saying that he bets it would do 10s. I said no its just a daily driver. Then he asked if my fmic was a second radiator. And why mercury made the talon.
 
So my girlfriends roomate has a dbag of a "boyfriend" I guess you would call him.
I get over to her apartment and he's there sitting in the living room with everyone, so I walk in and start talking to my girlfriend. I pay no attention to him because he's a supposed car guy and I just don't like talking to him anyways.
Him: what engine you have in your talon?
Me: (ugh) 4g63t
Him: oh yea? I just swapped one in my 2001 celica!
Me:(WTF????) Oh yea really?
Him: yea its wicked fast!
He then shows me a couple pics of it and low and behold holy sh#t it actually is a 4g63!
So I amazed asks him what's been done, six or seven bolt, etc. Etc.
Him: oh its twin turboed!
Me: they don't make twin turbos and no one runs twin turbos because its pointless/wouldn't work, however they do have a single turbo or some people compound turbo them
Him: oh yea its a compound turbo
Me:(no f'ing way this kid could do that) what turbos then?
Him: an 18g and I don't remember the other one
Me: ....they didn't make an 18g... they made a 16g and a 20g so which one?
Then my grilfriend stepped in and said stop arguing about cars because I was more of yelling at him than asking questions anymore

I then went on craigslist to find his celica for sale...

http://cleveland.craigslist.org/cto/4277449255.html

This kid is a complete ricer that thinks he is pro mechanic. He also installed a twin disk clutch on the roomates bone stock civic....
 
I've never heard nor seen one so this is just my experience. If there is one made then that's my fault for not doing the research.
 
Me: ....they didn't make an 18g... they made a 16g and a 20g so which one?

Does this count for this thread? ;) :D

From that ad:
" The 4G engine came out of a turbo eclipse with 160k miles on it and was running great before it was pulled. The Celica itself has 70k on it. It is a 5spd manual.

The Celica needs the following things done in order to be completed: 2 more motor mounts, fuel lines, battery, clutch, and shifter cables. All wiring has been done to make the 4G ECU work with the engine."

Important bit bolded. "BEFORE". LOL bet it's broken now.

Also, is wiring all you need to have it work with a 4th gen Eclipse ECU? I would think much more than just that would be required.

An unfinished POS like that is like buying and taking care of somebody else's aborted fetus.
 
I believe it does count! Shoulda looked it up before I put it up in front of you guys... :rolleyes:
 
Does this count for this thread? ;) :D



From that ad:

" The 4G engine came out of a turbo eclipse with 160k miles on it and was running great before it was pulled. The Celica itself has 70k on it. It is a 5spd manual.



The Celica needs the following things done in order to be completed: 2 more motor mounts, fuel lines, battery, clutch, and shifter cables. All wiring has been done to make the 4G ECU work with the engine."



Important bit bolded. "BEFORE". LOL bet it's broken now.



Also, is wiring all you need to have it work with a 4th gen Eclipse ECU? I would think much more than just that would be required.



An unfinished POS like that is like buying and taking care of somebody else's aborted fetus.


Maybe he meant 4g as in 4g63... Lots of people call the 4g63 a 4g...

But yeah LOL it probably doesnt run ha
 
I'm actually kind of impressed he got it to sit in there without falling out. If he actually did wire it to properly run I'd be even more impressed. At least he knew what a proper motor swap was. :p
 
Maybe he meant 4g as in 4g63... Lots of people call the 4g63 a 4g...

But yeah LOL it probably doesnt run ha

ah, true. It didn't even dawn on me that he was referring to the DSM ECU. I, for some reason, figured he was talking about a 4th gen Eclipse ECU. Man, I think I just made the list.

I wonder how he's solved tach/speedo issues then, not to mention the whole whack load of other indicators. I figure he's using the Celica dash?

Anyhoo, I've suddenly stopped giving a shit.
 
Its never ran and the kid claimed it to be wicked fast. He has no idea how to put an alternator on(keep reading) yet alone wire up a dsm ecu to a celica.

His "girlfriend" has issues with the car not starting/battery dying all the time/ battery light flashing on.
Well it turned out that the alternator was completely missing a mounting bolt and just flapping like a limp dick on the accesory belt.
Maybe he just forgot to tighten it down?
I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt until I told him why she was having all those issues.
Him:"I've never needed that bolt in a honda for an alternator before."
My jaw dropped and I then proceeded to laugh in his face. Its a mounting bolt.... its not something you can just "not need". Maybe for a little while but why the f*ck do that????

Just to clarify her car is a 95 two door civic.
That the kid put a twin disc in.... yea..
 
LOL you mean it takes more than one bolt to hold on the alternator? Then why does his car need two more motor mounts?

And to be "wicked fast" you don't have to have 2 motor mounts, fuel lines, battery, clutch or shifter cables?

Man I should be on the list then because I have more than one alternator bolt, all the motor mounts, and my cars never wicked fast or even just running until it well ......... it actually runs. I can't believe I've had it wrong this whole time.
 
LOL you mean it takes more than one bolt to hold on the alternator? Then why does his car need two more motor mounts?

And to be "wicked fast" you don't have to have 2 motor mounts, fuel lines, battery, clutch or shifter cables?

Man I should be on the list then because I have more than one alternator bolt, all the motor mounts, and my cars never wicked fast or even just running until it well ......... it actually runs. I can't believe I've had it wrong this whole time.
 
I have a stock 420a 2ga Talon and one day at work I stepped outside with one of my coworkers. She wanted to ask about my car. She started to rub the hump on the hood and says "So how fast is your cold air intake?" I started laughing uncontrollably while she was trying to convince me that I have a cold air intake. Then explained to her I don't and what the "hump" was for. I even showed her the factory intake and she told me that the cold air intake is hidden in the box so that meant my "horses are sleeping" Then she started telling me she was going to get a 69 Camaro one day with a cold air intake hood. ROFL
 
Almost sounds like she was flirting.

There are two ways for a woman to be successful in flirting with a car guy about his car.

1. Be marginally attractive and actually know something.
2. Be incredibly hot and know nothing.

If you get both of these in a woman... buy an engagement ring.

If you get neither... Curb.

Yep... there's my sexism moment for today! :D
 
There are two ways for a woman to be successful in flirting with a car guy about his car.

1. Be marginally attractive and actually know something.
2. Be incredibly hot and know nothing.

If you get both of these in a woman... buy an engagement ring.

If you get neither... Curb.

Yep... there's my sexism moment for today! :D

#3 You forgot aboot road head/putting out/ass/gas/or grass.No one ever said single guys turn down any of #3..
 
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Watch out guy's. Our 7-bolts can't handle over 20psi.

Shit!! If thats the case I should really get something done to my stock 7 bolt!! LIke soon! ~30 psi with my hx35 is WAYY too much.. Soooo What If I get myself a 42r and run like 20 psi? Is that ok?? haha
 
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