I was thinking about this topic and had some funny things come to mind and I wanted to know what others have to say about it also.....

My DSM appreciates all the time and money I put into our relationship!!

It doesn't cry when I sometimes get mad and yell at it!!(sometimes curse at it or even throw things at it nothing that will hurt it of course )

Doesnt blow hot air!! Atleast not as hot and not in my face!!

Cant lie to me.

Can beat the piss out of it without going to jail....hahaha I would never do that to a women but it's still funny!!

Have some fun with it...keep it going

dude that jus made me laugh literally haha
they cant call you b*%^$#ing, and the money you spend going into the relationship you actually wanna spend and is for the best in both haha

and you can also get in it anytime you want, yeah dsm's take the cake i must say i love mine

My Talon doesn't change it's expression to a smirk right after it ***** me over.

Wait... was that too harsh?

My DSM loves to be floored.
Girlfriend does not. haha

2gawdtsi said:

My DSM loves to be floored.
Girlfriend does not. haha

Click to expand...

I was gunna say the same thing :]

I love to listen to my DSM's. As to the woman, I dont like to listen to her blabbing all day.

Not really on topic, but has somewhat of a purpose in this thread i guess.

9 Rules for Dating a DSM Guy:

1 - Do not touch anything on the car without asking permission. If you get
permission, don't break it.
2 - Do not ask what every sound is, even if you think it sounds funny.
3 - When his friends are in the car, be prepared to get squished into the
back seat, because you're the "smallest"
4 - If something breaks, get a good book/magazine, a comfy lawn chair, and
wear lots of sunscreen and bug spray.
5 - Don't expect him to treat your car with the same respect he treats his
own.
6 - Your gift list for him will be a long list of car parts you have never
heard of.
7 - Get used to driving fast, with the windows down, with only the sounds of
the turbo.
8 – Don't tell him that his hands are dirty. He already knows and he likes it
that way.
9 - You will get pulled over while you're in the car with him. Don't worry,
he's done this before.

10. Don't ask him to drive. There's no way in Hell that will ever happen.

If it whines, there's actually a problem.

I can enjoy my DSM all month long.

It looks as good in the morning as it did after last call.

If something is loose, i can tighten it.

It doesn't talk.

It doesn't complain if i'm only in it for a few minutes.

It doesn't get mad when i stare at another car.

Warming it up never takes over 15 minutes.

DSM's cant cheat on you like some women do

You can always touch it whenever you want for hours and hours

and since they dont have a mouth they are never bitching at you

And You can let it sit for a couple week's and just spend little time with it and it won't leave you
Oh and it doesn't matter how it look's it alway's appreciated and called sexy

BigBeans said:

If it whines, there's actually a problem.

I can enjoy my DSM all month long.

It looks as good in the morning as it did after last call.

If something is loose, i can tighten it.

It doesn't talk.

It doesn't complain if i'm only in it for a few minutes.

It doesn't get mad when i stare at another car.

Warming it up never takes over 15 minutes.

Click to expand...

That shits hilarious!

My DSM gets turned on, on the first try (usually)
Girlfriend, takes a couple tries

My dsm turns me on everyday and when it starts to lose it I just buy it a new part. Way more cost effective than buying a new part for my girl.

My car doesnt want a puppy or a kid or me to be home at a decent hour. It just wants the same things I usually want to drive fast and more parts to drive fast with.

My cars initials stand for d.ck sucking machine !! Unfortunatly my girlfriends do not.....

400hp93talon said:

My cars initials stand for d.ck sucking machine !! Unfortunatly my girlfriends do not.....

Click to expand...

The turbo never comes up for air when you ask it to please you.

400hp93talon said:

My cars initials stand for d.ck sucking machine !! Unfortunatly my girlfriends do not.....

Click to expand...

How many girlfriends do you have? not satified with just one

Silicone couplers are cheaper than silicone implants, and some times look better.

DSM's moan better when your gettin on them and when you let off it even sounds hot.. and you can do this as many times as you want

This thread is win.

I just stick to the:

I can beat on my DSM and it doesn't matter.

It doesn't talk back (although it does...)

And the sounds it makes, are music to my ears. Her voice... not so much

BigBeans said:

If it whines, there's actually a problem.

It looks as good in the morning as it did after last call.

If something is loose, i can tighten it.

Click to expand...

Best ones so far IMO

BigBeans said:

If it whines, there's actually a problem.

I can enjoy my DSM all month long.

It looks as good in the morning as it did after last call.

If something is loose, i can tighten it.

It doesn't talk.

It doesn't complain if i'm only in it for a few minutes.

It doesn't get mad when i stare at another car.

Warming it up never takes over 15 minutes.

Click to expand...

DSM_PWR said:

Best ones so far IMO

Click to expand...

Agreed, except these are good and true, too:

Blaze2gDSM said:

My dsm turns me on everyday and when it starts to lose it I just buy it a new part. Way more cost effective than buying a new part for my girl.

My car doesnt want a puppy or a kid or me to be home at a decent hour. It just wants the same things I usually want to drive fast and more parts to drive fast with.

Click to expand...

God, you all know this; You can just turn it off, like shut it off. Just turn the key, and out like a light. I sure wish I could do that with the girl.

And the car never gives me blue-balls.

The car never fails to put on a pad when it knows damn-well it's getting its' period, then bleeds all over your zillion thread-count egyptian cotton sheets, and then goes home to spend the day sitting on the couch without even offering to wash the damn sheets. When the car does leak, you can spend a little time, or money, and put a permanent end to it. Plus, it's just on the concrete.

The car and the woman do have these in common: They can both freak-out on you at night, just go insane; do some psychotic, un-explainable crap that no sane person could ever imagine or expect or justify or deserve; and then wake-up the next day and smile lovingly, and act like the night before never happened!

And, they both have the habit of making your arse spend way more time at the courthouse than you would have to if you weren't in the relationship.

Oh lord.

thatblondechik said:

Oh lord.

Click to expand...

Female DSMers are exempt!

thatblondechik said:

Oh lord.

Click to expand...

You weren't supposed to see this, go away. The men are talking.

When it comes to protection: Nomex > Latex.

I gotta say...I actually agree with most of these. Doubles as "Why Female DSMers have no female friends."

It's hard to focus on a conversation about the latest "Coach" bag and where such and such got her shoes when my purse is 6 years old and I'm just happy wearing 3 year old, worn out Vans everyday. I could give a shit.