TalonKaos
Proven Member
- 118
- 25
- Oct 3, 2012
-
Eastlake,
Ohio
So yeah this is about the AWD/Manual Swap. Yeah the one with the LSD rear diff that all the cool kids are talking about. Yeah the one that adds the pedal that makes the boys feel like men. Yes that AWD/MANual swap. I am prepared to hold it captive in my dungeon (garage) as long as it takes!! It will never see the light of day until my demands are met! It lives in horrible conditions!..well not really. Built it some sweet shelves to keep it all cozy, dry, and together but there are webs! Many webs! Maybe even spiders! This will continue until someone pays the ransom! NO! The ransom is not $100! That is almost what i paid for my awesome DIY shelves that I might have already mentioned. No! The ransom is not $200. 200 is how fast you will go with all this stuff bolted firmly to your DSM! Did I mention I have all of the bolts too? Well I do and they're all slowly suffocating in individually labeled zip-locks. Thats right Zip. Lock. Boom. They wont last forever in there so I suggest you begin moving toward the bank or wherever it is you store your cash because that is what its gonna take to get me to set this swap free. Cash. A mountain of it. Well a hill. A pile I suppose but a pretty decent one. The guys (and girls! jeez) that offer me less than I make in a week for what basically amounts to being THE MAGICAL HIND LEGS OF A UNICORN are gonna get ignored. I can sell my old cell phones for that kinda money. Go get yourself a Playstation with all that saved up allowance. Or better yet a lawnmower and then you can someday earn a pile of cash to trade for this 100% complete and beautiful swap. Nothing is damaged or missing from this swap. YET! That could change in an instant for only I have the power to decide it's fate! Mwahahah!! Also willing to trade. For CASH! So if you have a pile or two lying around and you've begun to suspect that your back wheels just arent pulling their weight, lets talk. Do not message me just because you want it.
I want Jessica Alba but the restraining order clearly says I cannot keep harassing her. No I don't pricematch!! I don't care what your cousin Willy paid for his half-ass swap. He didn't get it from me! I never even met that dude. No delivery! Call this swap Digiorno, ya gotta get it yourself. If you want these dream-ingredients then hit me up with your best offer, otherwise leave me alone.Pro-tip: Research what is involved in performing a drivetrain swap before attempting.
Pro-tip #2: Look into what parts are involved in drivetrain swap before making offer so you don't say something silly.
This is obviously a serious matter. 
I dont mind keeping this stuff forever. Its holding down my shelves. Nobody stealin' those shelves! It's also a complete backup drivetrain to my favorite car which I own, drive daily, and LOVE! So mayybe chill with the lowball offers.
Nnevver gonna get it-never gonna get it...NNevvver gonna get it! Some of the parts included but not limited to:
Tranny: I know alot of you are especially sensitive to tranny issues lately for some reason
but this one has none.Transfercase: It transfers things very well. in a case.
Subframes: These are smaller frames that hang onto and are obedient to their Frame-master(actually a uni-body, which is like a uni-corn but not really).
Driveshaft: Yeah exactly. Your car has no shaft. You want this before someone notices.
Rear LSD diff: When people ask you what's the diff? This is the diff. This one contains LSD which can be verrry fun but also dangerous.
Use with caution in a safe place.Man-pedal and shifter (joyyystick): These combine for real confidence gains. The Man pedal makes ya "feel like" your car is fast and racy and the shifter (joyyystick) gives ya something firm and cylindrical to grip and jerk around the entire time your driving!
Axles: The fronts are dissimilar. Their names are "Axle Rose" and "Axle Foley". The backs are the twins, "Shit" and "Git". They want to stay together as a family. Will you help? Will you give from the heart today?
AWD Fuel tank: Not an armored vehicle. different kind of tank. Don't say I didnt tell you. This is the one with the buttcrack that the diff sits up in. What's the diff? see above.
Etc: This is all the rest of the parts that I'm too lazy to make a joke about.
They also come with.SO. If you ever want to see this swap again for the first time, THE RANSOM MUST BE PAID!!! Every day that passes without a reasonable offer I will remove one of this swap's nuts! (I will keep them labeled though and in a sealed bag).
TiCk-TOckTicK-tOCk
BEtTeR HuRrY!!!
*************Kids ask parents permission*************
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