The day my world started crumbling
Posted 06-07-2008 at 10:16 PM by crimsondragon
It was a gorgeous day. Everything seemed great. My dog has been whining for a week now day and night for some reason however. Took him to the vet last Saturday because I thought his leg hurt which was not the case. It got worst and he stopped eating which drew great concern for us since my dog loves to eat.
So I took him to the vet and just waited. Massaged him, rubbed him all over, trying to comfort him since he hates the vet. We were called him and the doctor inspected him again. Checked his prostate, temperature, then drew blood for examination. I comforted him some more while waiting with my mom for the results.
The doctor came in, closed the rear door and the front door. Then she gave us the results. "Unfortunately Max has kidney failure. The test results show 85% damage. There is no way I can get the numbers back to normal but I do want to leave him at the hospital to get some fluids back in because he's dehydrated and then send him home to enjoy the 3 months to 1 year but that's pushing it."
At that point it hit me like fuel cut and I was just in utter shock. Then the tears slowly came and with it my hand covering my mouth to stifle the hyperventilation I was having. To think, on this day, exactly 1 month from his birthday, my best friend is diagnosed with kidney failure and he has a time limit on him. I honestly feel helpless.
I asked her if there was any way to foresee something like this. I felt partially responsible. I felt like I should have taken him to the vet more. More checkups. Maybe I could have caught the problem before it became one. She said no since dogs don't show sickness until they're very sick. I don't believe her one bit. I still feel guilty.
I left him in the hospital for treatment of dehydration and ease his pain. I cried a river. I drove to my friend's house for a meet only to spill motor oil all over the carpet. I instead hung out with one of my best g/fs. She knew what I was going through and kept me sane. We hung out at the park and laid in the grass, enjoying the sunset. But I couldn't help feeling that I wish my dog was with me enjoying it with us as well.
I have already started working on taking him places. I took him to Pt Pleasant beach last Tues. Originally it was me and some other girl but he insisted to ride with us in the DSM. I think he loves it. Pt Pleasant unfortunately does not let dogs onto the boardwalk or beach which is dumb but we did manage to snag into a bay area which had sand and water where the fishermen hung out. I think afterwards, he was satisfied to feel the sand beneath his paws again and see the vast ocean.
And here I am still sobbing every now and then, talking with my friend and apologizing for not going to the meet and explaining my situation. I gotta do whatever it takes to make it the best summer ever for my best friend.
So I took him to the vet and just waited. Massaged him, rubbed him all over, trying to comfort him since he hates the vet. We were called him and the doctor inspected him again. Checked his prostate, temperature, then drew blood for examination. I comforted him some more while waiting with my mom for the results.
The doctor came in, closed the rear door and the front door. Then she gave us the results. "Unfortunately Max has kidney failure. The test results show 85% damage. There is no way I can get the numbers back to normal but I do want to leave him at the hospital to get some fluids back in because he's dehydrated and then send him home to enjoy the 3 months to 1 year but that's pushing it."
At that point it hit me like fuel cut and I was just in utter shock. Then the tears slowly came and with it my hand covering my mouth to stifle the hyperventilation I was having. To think, on this day, exactly 1 month from his birthday, my best friend is diagnosed with kidney failure and he has a time limit on him. I honestly feel helpless.
I asked her if there was any way to foresee something like this. I felt partially responsible. I felt like I should have taken him to the vet more. More checkups. Maybe I could have caught the problem before it became one. She said no since dogs don't show sickness until they're very sick. I don't believe her one bit. I still feel guilty.
I left him in the hospital for treatment of dehydration and ease his pain. I cried a river. I drove to my friend's house for a meet only to spill motor oil all over the carpet. I instead hung out with one of my best g/fs. She knew what I was going through and kept me sane. We hung out at the park and laid in the grass, enjoying the sunset. But I couldn't help feeling that I wish my dog was with me enjoying it with us as well.
I have already started working on taking him places. I took him to Pt Pleasant beach last Tues. Originally it was me and some other girl but he insisted to ride with us in the DSM. I think he loves it. Pt Pleasant unfortunately does not let dogs onto the boardwalk or beach which is dumb but we did manage to snag into a bay area which had sand and water where the fishermen hung out. I think afterwards, he was satisfied to feel the sand beneath his paws again and see the vast ocean.
And here I am still sobbing every now and then, talking with my friend and apologizing for not going to the meet and explaining my situation. I gotta do whatever it takes to make it the best summer ever for my best friend.
Total Comments 18
Comments
|
Wow man, thats sad to hear. I am a pet lover myself, I do not know what I would do if I heard the same. Keep it together man, enjoy the times you have left and make them memories you'll never forget.
|
Posted 06-08-2008 at 10:03 AM by destruckeclipse
|
|
|
did you look into the pet food scandal. My cat died the same way.
|
|
Posted 06-08-2008 at 10:51 AM by bmoha2
|
|
|
I know what your feeling dude, nov 06 we took my dog to the vet because he looked like he was about to die. they put him on some meds and seemed to be doing better so the vet pulled the meds and he immediately worsened. We had to put him down early Jan 07.. Probably the worst day of my life, I wish I would have spent more time and attention on him. Sorry to hear about your dog, I hope for the best for you and your pup.
Do you have a picture of your doggie? |
|
Posted 06-08-2008 at 11:15 AM by Marcus92
|
|
|
Sorry about your dog. It doesn't seem fair that our pets always seem to sense when we are hurting and are there to comfort us, yet we can't catch things like this till it is too late. It's not your fault at all, so don't beat yourself up. All you can do is try and make his remaining time enjoyable and you are doing that. You will carry the best memories with you in your heart long after he is gone so in a way he will always be with you.
|
|
Posted 06-08-2008 at 03:15 PM by Drubble
|
|
|
Thank you for all your support. It's hard knowing he's in the hospital and I'm out doing whatever but I hope he knows that I'm constantly thinking of him. I received a call from the vet today and he told me he's doing better. They're going to run another blood test to see if his kidneys has slightly improved and if he can come home soon. Here are the requested pics in chronological order.
     The first picture is the day when I first got him and Polaroids were still popular. I was 10 only. The last picture is the lastest one when we went to the beach and he sat in the backseat of the DSM. |
|
Posted 06-08-2008 at 05:30 PM by crimsondragon
|
|
|
Although this is quite sad, he is BEAUTIFUL.
|
|
Posted 06-08-2008 at 10:58 PM by KPEclipse
|
|
|
I had a Lab that I just had to put down for the same reason. We caught it somewhat early, and the vet gave us some expensive meds to help out and potentially lengthen her life, but in the end she only made it another year or so before we had to put her down. It was the worst day of my life. It's actually a quite common problem among dogs from what the vet said and I have read. Here's a pic of my lab...
   |
|
Posted 06-09-2008 at 01:34 AM by TjPhillips36
|
|
|
Dogs are truly mans best friend. Dogs always seem to be happy when you are with them. And you can see that in the last picture in your car. Even though he hitting the home stretch, the dog is happy because youre with him. Really is something special!!!
James |
|
Posted 06-09-2008 at 07:49 PM by VETTE_50_TH
|
|
|
Thought I give an update. I was on the bus ride home when I received the call from the doctor. His numbers have not improved much. I asked the doctor what are my options. She said we could leave him at the hospital some more and keep giving the fluids to see if there's an improvement again, or we could take him home. The final option made me tear and if anybody has ever owned a pet, knows what the final option is.
Of course I'm the type of guy who will take any bit of hope and hold onto it to the very end. After discussing it with several people including my parents, we decided it was time for him to come home and enjoy what's left before bringing him back for a final checkup and choosing the final option. I instantly took the bus back to work where I left my car. I told my mom I was going to come home to keep watch for the rest of the week and to pick him up. She doesn't think I'll make it in time to pick him up. She underestimates me sorely. I probably averaged 90mph the whole way. We told the doctor what we wanted and she said ok. After some agonizing minutes, I finally heard them calling my dog into our room. He wouldn't come till I finally called him over and his tail started wagging again. It was absolutely uplifting to see him. The vet aids then gave us the meds to put him on until Friday. A bunch of pills and 3 full bags of IV fluid. We got him home finally just as the T-storm started moving in. It really is great to have him home again. |
|
Posted 06-10-2008 at 06:40 PM by crimsondragon
|
|
|
I hate reading stories like this, because it gets me all choked up, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what you are going through at the moment, and enjoy the time you have left with your pet.
I'm not a dog owner, but I have a huge love for cats, and I've lost a few cats over my 24 years. It's a HARD thing to lose a family pet that you've grown up with. I still have pictures of my cat that I got for my 9th birthday, that I lost a few years back. Just stay strong and spoil him with love for his remaining days. You sound like a great owner and you should feel good about yourself for giving this animal such a great/loving life. |
|
Posted 06-11-2008 at 12:36 PM by TalonTSiGuy
|
|
|
hey, so very sorry to hear about this. recently i lost my dog of 14 years. he was in great shape, living life to the max and one day my girlfriend got home from work to find him lying cold on the floor. it turns out he had an aneurysm. it's been almost a month, but whenever i'm home alone i constantly think i'm hearing him, or seeing him out of the corner of my eye. he is the only pet i've ever had, and now that he's gone, i try and just be happy for all the good times. it's amazing how much of a friend and family member a pet can be. i hope you and your dog have some good times in the days to come, from what you've wrote i think you'll take good care of him.
although i know how hard this is, you can't second guess what could have been done about any of this, it is true that dog's have a high threshold for any physical discomfort, and that by the time symptoms show up it is often too late to do anything, but love them and spend all the time you can with them. my dog always sat in the back of my gst, just like yours is in the picture you put up. come to think of it i think he's the only one i ever saw ride back there comfortably.... |
|
Posted 06-11-2008 at 06:46 PM by jdbl14
|
|
|
Thanks for the support everyone. When he was away at the hospital, I was awake at like 3 in the morning and like I could have sworn I heard him. I went downstairs and stuff to see and I couldn't find him. It almost felt like a dream. I sat down where he usually sleeps on the couch and just felt despair.
I've been giving him meds and injecting IV fluid into him. It's frustrating cause most of the time, he'll spit the pills out and then I have to open his mouth and put it in the back of his throat again. Injecting the IV isn't as bad, but 1000mL of it dripping into him takes a while. I have to stand and hold the bag over him and keep squeezing the bag. But to keep him alive I'll do whatever I have to do without complaint or hesitation. I think he's going blind. I don't know how or why but he likes to walk around the house dazed and he'll bump his head straight into stuff. When I call him he looks around for me trying to locate me even if I'm in front of him. I had to lead him to his bowl for him to drink water. It's a bit funny to watch him knock into stuff but also a bit sad. About two hours ago, my mom had to carry him back inside from his walk. I was still tinkering with the fuel pump rewire when she called out to me. I rushed inside and he was laying on the floor breathing heavily. I really thought it was the end for him at that point. I kept his head on my lap and tried to keep his attention on me and check his heart rate. I swear if he stopped breathing I would have done CPR on him. Apparently as soon as my mom set him down, he looked at the front door, collapsed, then started spasming out. I honestly thought he's getting better but I don't know anymore. |
|
Posted 06-12-2008 at 08:09 PM by crimsondragon
|
|
|
Damn man, I know exactly what you're going through. My family is extremely partial to Great Danes, we're on our fourth one right now. The first one was around before me, and the second one came and went when I was still very young. The third, Phantom, we got when I was in middle school. He was the first Dane puppy I remember having, I practically grew up with him. Shortly after, our friend came over saying how there was another Dane puppy at the mall that was about to be put down. The owners before her mistakenly thought she was a dalmation and brought her back after they found out. Since everyone knew how big she was going to get, no one wanted her. That's where we came in, we took her home for the day to see if she would get along with Phantom and sure enough they hit it off. The store gave her to us free of charge for doing such a good deed.
Last Christmas, Phantom turned 11 and that's about the life expectancy for Danes. His hips and spine slowly started deteriorating, but he held on as long as he could. Being away at college I never really got to see him much, but when I came home on the weekends he was always the first one to the door wagging his tail to say hello. When the cold weather came around his condition steadily got worse and my family knew he wasn't going to be around much longer. My parents wanted to wait for me to come home to see him one last time before we put him down. I don't know how it happened, but he seemed to recover the week before I got home for Christmas break...almost like he knew I was coming home. The moment I stepped in the door he seemed so full of life...so happy...then that night we knew it was all over, he could barely get up. It was like he held out for me to get home. Our last night with him, we all gathered around him and petted him as he lay on his bed. Even Gypsy, the female we rescued laid right by his side, she had to know... Later that night we took him to the vet to have him put to sleep. We all held him as he went, making sure he was at peace and that he was loved very much. Being much older now I really experiences the pain of this loss, it really is as if you lose a member of your family. God, I'm getting choked up now just thinking about it. Anyway, Gypsy is still around, she seems much quieter now that the big guy isn't here anymore. Her hips are starting to go now too, so we know it's only a matter of time before we have to put her down. It's things like this that make you truly appreciate what we have here in this life. We can not take anything for granted because no one knows what the future will bring. If you have a pet, cherish it, and if it has passed then just remember the good times you shared with it and be thankful that you were able to experience one of life's greatest joys.  R.I.P Phantom |
|
Posted 06-12-2008 at 09:13 PM by 10fold
|
|
|
I believe it's time. The final option seems to be our only option left at this point. He had another seizure of some sort throughout the night. If I was not awake, I am sure he would be dead. He was laying in his piss and he was starting to crap and breathing awkwardly. I managed to pull him away from his excrements and hold his head in my lap to steady his breathing and slowly bring him back. I was so sure he was going to die in my arms.
I have not slept yet cause I just can't but it's starting to wear me out. I've been watching over him all night. His insides are paining him causing him to yell out unless he walks it off. Unfortunately his "walking" is nothing more than leaning to the right or left while moving his legs and hitting furniture and walls. I followed him throughout the house keeping his head in check. I put him outside now that it's starting to dawn. I really want to sleep. Hopefully he can just keep walking on the lawn for the next two hours till the other people in my household can watch him for a bit. I'm ready to hit the sack. I think we might do it this afternoon. It'll be his last day here. It hurts me to watch him in pain and it would be selfish of me to keep him alive to his limits when he's in pain. In times like these, I believe in God and I hope he can forgive me for doing what could be justified as murder but in eyes of others, it would be euthanasia. My heart is shattering. Beautiful Dane btw. |
|
Posted 06-13-2008 at 02:46 AM by crimsondragon
|
|
|
RIP Max
7/7/98 - 6/13/08 Loved, forever and always in our hearts. |
|
Posted 06-13-2008 at 03:27 PM by crimsondragon
|
|
|
I know exactly what you're going through right now, but the decision you made is the right one. It is better to put them down than to have them suffer constantly. Max is most definitely in a better place right now, pain free, just remember that. It's good that you held on as long as you could and decided to not be selfish, as many people are with animals. They keep them around until they die in the house. Putting a dog down is an extremely hard thing to do, but it is the right and humane way to go. No living thing should have to suffer so immensely. Your dog is definitely in a better place right now, that big park in the sky...probly playin fetch or peein on all the hydrants he sees. Thats the way I look at it.
|
|
Posted 06-13-2008 at 08:51 PM by 10fold
|
|
|
He doesn't know how to play fetch unfortunately. I do see him running around like he used to do in our yard though when he was much younger. And eating all the meat and bones he can get. And leghumping, yes, he loved to do that. Chasing small animals as well. It's in his blood as a hound dog.
It really surprised me that the doctor asked if I wanted to leave while they did the injection. I thought it was a given to stay with your pet to the very end and not be injected by strangers, wondering where their owners are. I held him to the very end. Rubbed him as much as possible, spoke to him, hugged him, letting him know that I was there till his final breath so that when he finally passed away, he knew he was and still is loved, and he took it with him. I miss him dearly. I plan on getting a tattoo of him name over my left pec. |
|
Posted 06-13-2008 at 09:11 PM by crimsondragon
|
|
|
Yea, my vet asked me that too. I guess it's pretty much standard even though the logical response would be to stay until it is all over and done with. Anyway, yea man, do whatever you need to in order to keep those happy memories alive.
|
|
Posted 06-14-2008 at 09:24 PM by 10fold
|
Recent Blog Entries by crimsondragon
- God Damn Transmission mount (08-23-2008)
- Oh boy. (08-01-2008)
- what a dilemma (07-22-2008)
- Obsession (07-03-2008)
- I have a radio again! (06-21-2008)
